MadhouseLive

How Do You Make a Fist?

9 Oct 2017 · 3 h 3 min · 10,667 words · source

Calls (29, 1 h 4 min of 3 h 3 min)

  1. Red Lobster job inquiry live 48 s clip ↓
  2. Madhouse Live host introduction live 3.8 min clip ↓
  3. Call Nation Madhouse Live prank call live 6.1 min clip ↓
  4. Wrong number, flirtatious call to James Albright live 1.3 min clip ↓
  5. Call Nation Madhouse Live IVR ivr 1.6 min clip ↓
  6. United Water Machines water issue live 33 s clip ↓
  7. Hotel room inquiry after incident live 1.1 min clip ↓
  8. Prank call with fake confrontation and taunting live 2.6 min clip ↓
  9. Mother interrupted during call live 33 s clip ↓
  10. Craigslist flooring message voicemail 48 s clip ↓
  11. Bucket truck lineman story live 2.6 min clip ↓
  12. Dump truck driver prank call live 48 s clip ↓
  13. Spa Repair Tech asked for job live 1.3 min clip ↓
  14. Apartment maintenance job inquiry live 2.8 min clip ↓
  15. Caregiver job voicemail ivr 33 s clip ↓
  16. Arbortech Tree Service prank live 2.8 min clip ↓
  17. Red Lobster manager asked about server job live 1.6 min clip ↓
  18. Ichiban Sushi hostess job inquiry live 11.6 min clip ↓
  19. Trucker offers kinkajou and ferret live 5.1 min clip ↓
  20. Voicemail with angry message voicemail 2.6 min clip ↓
  21. Caller reviews Star Trek live 1.1 min clip ↓
  22. Tactical Impact Security LLC voicemail ivr 33 s clip ↓
  23. Child care center job inquiry live 48 s clip ↓
  24. Brandon Johnson inappropriate prank call live 1.1 min clip ↓
  25. Call Nation voicemail voicemail 1.3 min clip ↓
  26. Jen missed call response live 48 s clip ↓
  27. Pet Life asked about baby kangaroo live 1.1 min clip ↓
  28. California Institutional Staffing janitor job live 5.3 min clip ↓
  29. EpiSmooth customer service IVR ivr 2.1 min clip ↓

Transcript

Madhouse Radio Prank
Madhouse Live
Prank call station in the nation
Prank call nation
If you would like to place a takeout order press 1
Nope
Restaurant hours press 2
Nope
For directions press 3
Nope
To speak to a member of management or a Red Lobster team member please press 4
Hey Marquise how you doing
Hey man I see there's a job here in the paper
Dammit
There's a job here in the paper
Thank you, Google Voice. Thank you.
My name is Gary.
Caller, I love you.
Yeah, hey, I'm sorry. Did you hang up because you heard the noises on the phone?
I hung up because I didn't hear what...
Oh, well, can you hear me now?
Yep.
Good. I see you have a job in the PEPA here for Red Lobster Server.
Yeah, I have server experience. Obviously, you're not the manager, right?
Obviously, you're not the manager. Is there someone I can talk to? An overseer?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Meme Meme Meme
My name is Meme Face
That's right, this is Meme Face Madhouse Live
This is Carlito
I'm the host of Madhouse Live
This is a prank call show that I do
Thank you
Are you guys happy I updated the podcast for you guys?
I love my fans so much
I updated my podcast
It only took me a year and a half
But I caught those motherfuckers up
And now phase two of the new Madhouse
Modern Madhouse is what I call the Modern Madhouse Project
It's a new initiative to change this show
Prank Call Nation
PrankCallNation PrankCallNation.com
Now, we need a final solution on Prank Call Nation.
Is it a nation? Is it an association?
Is it just a thing that's left over with just Dwight, me, and Matt doing shows on there?
Which, by the way, before I continue with my pre-show plugs,
or my beginning of the show plugs,
I wanted to point out that today is Monday, and I made a mistake.
So what happened was, what had happened was,
I was going to do a show starting around 10-11am until about 1 or 2pm and then I figured at which point Matt Hillock and Zach Sidekick Zachs would do their show. I wouldn't be stepping on any toes. So I set up a show and everything. I had all my stuff laid out, all the cables connected, everything tested, fart noises were working, everything.
Closed Captions by the Amara.org community
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Air Comas Locksman
Yay!
So if you were listening on Shoutcast, you would have noticed there was a long period of silence there.
That's why.
Alright.
Nunu, I see you, man.
I'll get to your request here in a second.
Let me write that on the big board.
I have an assistant today, so I gotta write this stuff on the big board.
Nunu.
Shit.
Alright, not that marker.
I'll use the boomer.
Let's put a Nunu here.
Nunu.
N-0-0-N-0-0.
Okay.
Anyway.
So that's what happened.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
or out doing something so the show may be cut off i apologize to matt um tuning in wise if you need
to leave if you're got to go back to work if you got to take a drive you don't have good internet
service all you need is a phone a cell phone any phone can dial this number that's area code 605
475-0097 again 605-475-0097 where you can hear this show right now live you can actually
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Carlito you fat motherfucker
Carlito you fat motherfucker
You see I was making it all go
all weird anyway so that's
that's it right there call that number 605
475 0097
there also are
on madhouselive.com there's
shoutcast links and players right there so you can
tune into the show
if Mixer's giving you a problem
or if you just want to hear prank calls
during the day on an auto
DJ kind of basis it's not like you
Prank Design
Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation
Genitor and Matt Hillock
even a little bit of Jen Stewart in there
So there's a whole season in there and we're currently actively filming Season 2 right now
Some funny stuff have been going on I haven't done much
But I've been doing a lot of writing
A lot of the writing for the show of the prank ideas
Been helping out with that
and I gotta get in gear
But I wanna look a little nicer, I wanna lose a little bit more weight
and have a nice haircut for when I do these things
Because it's very important, I take it very seriously
Look good on YouTube
Madhouse on Twitter
Madhouse on Twitter
Madhouse on Twitter
Follow me there
Send me your messages
I'm trying to be more active on Twitter
And also Madhouse.live on Facebook
Please follow
And then my own YouTube channel
Go ahead and check that out
Just look for Madhouse Radio on YouTube
You'll find that
Give me a subscribe and a like
Patreon.com slash Madhouse is reactivated
I'm asking for a dollar
That's all
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by Dania Yamout
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Tell me about that, brother.
I need framers.
You need to frame somebody?
Okay.
You got any framing experience?
Yeah, yeah, I did.
There's this guy, Lysol, and I used to work for my cousin, Xhosa.
And Lysol had done something to him very bad over drugs.
And basically...
What are you talking about, man?
I'm talking about framing carpenter.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
So I couldn't be seen a hoodie and he had me going to Kentucky Fried Chicken and I pulled out a gun like that. And then I ran away like I was scared. But anyway, so yeah, then when I got questioned about it, I said it was Lysol and Lysol, you know, got in trouble for and they never caught me.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Like someone has to have a strapless suspender out there.
So I start looking on the Google and I came up with this guy named James Albright and he's a good old country boy.
And he I guess like he's all into this.
He made a strapless suspenders and it's it's basically like a belt that goes.
It's like a Velcro big Velcro strip with a piece a small piece of like fishing tubing.
Not small, but it's like a piece of tubing.
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Hi I'm James Albright, the creator of the No-Sags Hidden Belt and Pants Suspender.
We've been blessed to ship hundreds of these across the United States and even into some
other countries.
But we've had a few customers call and say, hey how does this thing work and why does
it work?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Hello?
Yeah, hi.
I was looking to talk to James Albright.
I think you have the wrong number.
Oh, shee.
Really?
He gave me a...
He gave me a...
Oh, because you're the wrong area code.
I transpose numbers.
Oh, I'm stupid.
I'm sorry.
So how...
You're calling Tennessee.
Oh, hey.
Are you single?
No, I don't care about stuff like that.
Oh, maybe I kiss you all over.
Maybe you like it.
And we won't tell husband.
We won't tell husband.
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Jesus Christ put your website right in my face I find you on Amazon over there and I I wore I've
been wearing them now now the one thing is the Velcro does dig in you a little bit if you're not
careful you know you got you got to watch it you got to make sure you got your lines even up
gotcha now have you did you round the edges once you trimmed it uh well maybe that's what my
problem is you know maybe that's what my goddamn problem is I don't know I don't know I'll
Now, I saw your YouTube video first, you know?
Okay.
Now, and you...
If you do, not to interrupt you, but I don't want you to...
I don't want to be comfortable for you, but that's the trick.
If you don't, if you cut them, the tips straight across,
square it off, because I used to do that in the beginning.
Right.
And then you go to overlap it and on.
If it's not perfectly straight, those little pointy tips will poke you.
So round them out, you're saying?
You're saying round them out.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Alright, well, I was just wondering, because you're cute.
Oh, he hung up on the phone.
I'm a gay guy.
He ain't gay.
I knew he was Jesused out.
Because his signature has a mountain with the cross on it.
I don't know if he's trying to show whatever the name of the mountain.
Calvary?
Is that where Jesus got the cross?
Oh, man.
I've been holding on to that idea for a while.
I feel bad.
I almost didn't want to because he was being so nice.
Closed Captions by the Amara.org community
The Italian Guy Who Put The Mentos In The Pepsi
The Vaffanculo Guy
That's Gonna Play On Today's Break
I'm Trying It
See
I Don't Think It's Gonna Answer
He's Supposed To Be Open For Another 18 Minutes
Maybe He's Busy
You Know With The Till
I'll Let It Ring Out While I Get The Next One Ready
There's Mr. George Jackson
Which He Always Wants Me To Call
And The Guy Never Picks Up For Me I Don't Think
Have I Ever Talked To George Jackson
He Sends It To Every Show
Hello
Hello George
Yeah
How Big Are Your Sexual Organs
Hey.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Did you have a problem with your water?
Were you calling about a problem with your water?
No.
We have a report.
I'm with the United Water Machines.
We handle the water system here where you live for Amino A.
And there's a problem with brown water coming out.
Can you flush your toilet and see if it flushes clear or if it's brown?
Yeah, mine's all right, yeah.
Can you flush it now?
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
Why Don't You Stick Your Head Up A Bear's Asshole
I remember this guy. I did talk to him once, yeah.
That's exactly what he said!
He said, why don't I go do it myself, he said that
On, like, it was about two shows ago.
Guys..
So, am I the first to talk to him?
Nunu, tell me, who was the original George Jackson Caller?
Eh?
Tell me.
Or was it Matt?
And then did I get sloppy seconds?
Having sex with James Albright Big Boba James Kissin' James all over his mouth
Busy. The Italian immigrant guy's phone is busy now. I called once.
Maybe he recognized the way the number came through and suspected it was me again.
I gotta get over the sexual organs thing. I'm obsessed with it. And it's not that funny.
I mean, I've been beating that whole sexual organ joke to death. It's been dead.
It's a bloody pulp right now the mash all of it do car dings in the chat room. It said listen
Um, it's not ding timber. It's not big time. I'll take a look. Don't worry about it
I'll take a look see what we got in there. See if there's any more left not doing the Chicago ones
Don't even try. All right telling guy doesn't want to pick up. He left it off the hook for a little bit there
Here's another regular number from new new
This is for the rain tree a woman went around with no pants and smashed up a room and blamed it on vampires
No one called as vampire yet to apologize.
Oh, I remember the vampire stuff, yes.
I said the whole thing that there's a bat in there.
Here we go.
Hello, how are you?
I'm good.
Good, good.
Is there a room that I could stay in?
There was an event that happened there with a woman.
I guess, you know, the breaking of things.
We don't have to get too into it.
But I would like to stay in this room.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
How many pimples do you have?
How many pubic hairs do you have now, little boy?
You don't even sound intimidating, dude.
Well, I'll find out.
You sound pretty femme to me.
What are you going to do?
How do you fight?
Tell me, how do you fight?
How do you put your fist?
Tell me, how do you align your fist to fight properly?
You don't even know.
Tell me, where does your thumb go?
You don't know, do you?
You don't.
You don't.
You can't fight, brother.
Don't even start with me, okay?
This is between me and you and your mom and we're gonna fuck all right
Don't be jealous your mom likes to get it in too. I command you to answer yellow
They're muted. They're still connected. Let's go motherfucker. It might be a deadline
We'll call back we'll call back. Hey, can you put little boy on the phone again? He got chicken and ran away
This is a business, and...
So? Business answers the phone.
That's what the business does.
Right, that you need to call.
He challenged me.
So is he hiding from behind Mama?
Is he hiding behind...
Mama!
Hide me.
Hide me, Mama.
Me, me, Mama.
Is that what's going on?
Is he sucking his thumb in the corner?
I don't think so.
Why'd you raise him like a girl?
I didn't raise him like a girl.
He sure sounds like one.
You must feel it, though.
You know where we're at.
Tell me you feel it.
You know where we're at.
Tell me you know where we're at.
Yeah, I know where you're at, but where's he at?
Hiding?
He's right here.
Sucking his thumb from behind?
Mama, mama, no.
Mama, he want to eat me, mama.
That's him.
Raised him like a girl.
Yep.
Got all tough on the phone, but when I brought it up, how do you make a fist to punch?
He doesn't even know.
He got all scared.
He's like, oh, no, man.
I'll tell you what, I know karate.
Shout out to Giant.
Okay.
I don't eat that shit.
Put little boy on the phone, I said.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
9-1-1
9-1-1
Come help me
My mama and me are in trouble
We made the guy mad
He come here
Mama, mama
Mama, can you help me?
Yeah, that's what's going to happen.
You're crazy.
Yeah, okay.
We'll see.
We'll see.
I'll be right there.
I'll be right there.
And we'll see, okay?
Get ready.
Okay.
Get ready, mama.
Mama, mama.
All right.
Okay, all right.
Bye, breastfeeding.
Still breastfeeding.
Bye, still breastfeeding.
Family
And I've got something else to work with with that rain tree in and that's for making the rounds
Here's the other George Jackson and after this we'll be getting to park man numbers, thank you
The
oops
thats not that number
what the fuck is that
mom
hello
you're not available now
shut up
alright
alright Nunu
there ya go
you already quit
Nunu already quit
the web's
the chat
so why am I even trying anymore
bye
mama
ok
bababababa
baby
baby
baby
back to
notepad
plus plus plus plus plus plus
plus plus
plus plus plus plus plus
Carpet Crew
Let me double check my cholerid.
Okay, it's good.
Uh, two-man Carpet Crew, the suggestion is you're not used to sharing carpet with another guy.
Will he be eating pussy too?
Will he touch my...
All circuits are busy now.
All circuits are busy.
My penis.
My penis?
Did you say penis?
Oh, I don't have that drop anymore.
Shit.
Thank your nephew for deleting it on accident, you stupid fuck.
I'm calling you've reached regards to the Craigslist day and I'm running for flooring
and carpet installers I missed you you'd be a fat fuck and a three and a two and one thank you
for calling you've reached Paul in regards to the Craigslist day and I'm running for flooring
and carpet installers sorry I missed you I must be on the other line I'll call you back for my
office which is eight five let me call back grab that number make it so you guys can't hear
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Hey, uh, give me, give me a second. Can you just give me a second? Let me write that down. All right, Bubba. I swear to God, just be a second. All right. All right. Thanks. Thanks, buddy. Hang on. Hang on. Oh, we got a problem here. Pen don't work. You know what I mean? Goddamn pen. Goddamn pen motherfucker. Shit. I'm working on it, Bubba. You don't, don't go anywhere. Please, papi. Okay. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. All right. Are you there? Okay. Uh, yeah, go ahead, sir.
Ryan
Schenker
I wouldn't put that back is a callback maybe from a different caller ID
alright bucket operator for tree trimmers the recommendation machine is
that the cops took my bucket truck away because I use it for masturbating while
people eager peeking at girls tell me you guys haven't thought about that
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I've years experience with Duke Energy operating a bucket truck going up and I was a lineman you know I got pulled off the truck though cops cops got involved pull me off a truck because of an altercation okay I was there was a hurricane that come through down in South Florida and I was putting up some new you know just some new stuff up on one of the poles and had the bucket truck up there we're resetting the jack you know and I was for a three phase customer and then like the whole thing was
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
I had fun with that one you know
let's get real guys firework time
turn what up what volume you need you want music volume Carlos volume collar
volume you let me know Bubba I usually turn the collar volume down a little bit
Dump Truck Driver
Alexa
Play It's Raining Tacos
man these motherfuckers there's this fucking temp agency that keeps calling me like motherfucker i got a career i work no fucking temp agency bullshit i'm way over that man i'm the fucking man bro fucking triple certification motherfucker working all that shit get the fuck out of here that shit fucking the king of prank calls anywhere on the side now we got that patreon money coming in look at me i'm doing my big hasa thing because you know i steal all the patreon money from myself
Hello, how you doing? Yeah. Hi dump truck start jump truck driver job in the pepper. Yes. Oh, yeah
Hey man, so I had to quit my job. Can I tell you why? Okay, man these people that I came on and I was like
Yeah, I get a certain percentage. I made it up, you know after the whole thing
I just said I was supposed to get paid money and I didn't get paid no money motherfucker. Yeah
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
S-H-I-T
I said
in your house
from me
and I told the guys
I said
listen
I'm going to take this action
if any of you
would like to file
a former complaint
the time to do so is now
everyone
anyone who is
is with me
take a step forward
and all my guys
step forward
from the truck
all that were with me
to this day
all those guys were with me
so we went over there
and we dropped
the whole thing
on our front lawn
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Go ahead and fill it out. It's online.
Well, you have to look at it, and I want to know right now.
I want to know right now.
Oh, man, I really have no time for this.
Listen, motherfucker. Listen, motherfucker, you. I need a job.
Yeah.
Oh, man, I ain't got a problem, man.
Let me try to call him back, but he won't pick up. He won't pick up.
Oh, man, I ain't got a problem, man. I got to pick my siesta, man.
Sorry, but the person you called has a voice mailbox that has not been set up yet. Goodbye.
Damn, I should set that shit up myself, right?
Oh, so you said the blind man.
All right, working on that audio problem there.
A little low.
Some people on Mixler are saying, apparently.
Just made an adjustment.
Let me know if this gets better, please.
Thank you.
All right.
Spa Repair Tech.
I'm not even reading what it says.
Just going to call it.
Sorry about the low audio.
We got it now, man.
We got it.
Thank you for calling Slash Fools.
How can I help you?
Oh, I see you got a job in the pepper for a spa repair tech.
Yeah, hold on one second, all right?
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Brian Big Brian
You like to eat?
How big a boy are you?
Oh, you know I know who you are because I know you're a big boy.
I know Big Brian.
Come on, man.
How you doing, man?
You know who it is.
Who?
Come on.
You know who it is.
No, I don't.
Oh, well, I want to kiss you and suck on your nips.
Suck on your teats a little bit.
My nice little piggy boy.
Mmm, yeah.
I want to lick you all over.
Lick your face.
Smell your skin.
There you go.
Are you masturbating now?
It sounds like you are.
What's that noise?
It sounds like masturbation.
Okay, apartment maintenance.
Fired from last apartment job for stealing panties from female residents.
Look at that.
I was almost going to say that about this last one.
Good idea.
Hi, you got apartment maintenance job in the peppa?
Yes.
Oh, wow.
Wow, thank God. God bless you also, sir. I'd like to start off with that. I've been praying. I got on my knees this morning. I was like, Lord, please help me find a job in the PEPA that I could do. And I did apartment maintenance in Virginia up until a month ago. And now I moved here. I don't have a home. I live out of my car. I've been looking for work. You know, I was trying to get to Branson, Missouri, and I didn't make it that far.
Yeah, I got you've been doing apartment maintenance.
10 years of spares and apartment maintenance back in the good old days, you know?
Back in the good old days.
Wait, say that again now?
Back in the good old days, I did apartment maintenance back in the good old days.
Good 15, 20 years.
Yeah? How long ago was that?
I started in 95, took a break from it from 2000 to 2006 because of the recession,
and then after that got right back into it, and I just lost my job last month because of what happened.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
The
Disqualified
I'm good now
I'm good now
I'm good now
I'm good now
I'm good now
A lot of good numbers here
So we're about at a good halfway point
Now I think
Let me look at what the music looks like here
Alright we'll give it a
10-15 minutes and I'll take a break
We can come back to you in an hour and we're done.
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Caregiver.
Caregiver job.
Do you care for elderly females?
Can I bring my own little cat?
Call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.
Retry.
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.
L.I.T.F.
All right.
You're not getting an answer there.
Moving on to crane operator.
Caw, caw.
Can I take the crane home after work?
You know how to make it go.
Vroom, vroom, beep, beep.
So you want me to be silly?
Is that what you're saying?
You're saying I'm a funny guy?
What the fuck?
Why am I so funny?
Tell me what the fuck.
I love that scene from frickin' Goodfellas.
Now I want to hear it.
Let me pull it up.
Fuckin' Joe Pace.
The way he says that.
No, no, no.
You said I'm funny.
That is Goodfellas.
You funny guy.
Thank you for calling Arbortech Tree Service.
We are either away from our desk
Or shoving it up your ass
Alright, here's the funny guy scene
This is 3 minutes 53 seconds per YouTube
Let's see, let's see if it has one of those fucking intros that are so annoying
To go, can I show some fucking username group bullshit that no one knows about
Don't you hate that shit?
No one cares
Play the fucking shit
And promote your shit at the end
God damn it
It looks like we're gonna play
What's really funny is
The fucking bank job away in Seat Caucus
I'm in the middle of the fucking weeds laying down
He comes over and says, what are you doing?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Go fuck your mother
You saw the paper Anthony my head was up like this
So now I'm coming around you know
I start to come out of it who do I see in front of me
This big prick again he says oh what do you want to tell me now
Tough guy I said Bing what are you doing here
I thought I'd tell you to go fuck your mother
I thought he was going to shit
Pow Bing
What the fuck is
Gee I wish I was big just once
We're the big cops
Really funny
The
or you're going to get
the
the way I talk
just you know you
it's just funny it's
the way you tell the story everything funny how
me funny about coming to you got all right
oh wait he's a big boy knows what he said what you say
funny how what just you know if you're too funny
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
I could play the next the the next the rest of the scene where the guy gets beat up but hey let's
Let's get back to the show.
What the fuck's up with me?
I love that shit.
One that we quote at work a lot is the Shinebox one.
Let me see if I can play that now.
The Shinebox where the one guy gets out.
Right, he gets out of prison.
After a few years, he's in the bar.
And then Tommy shows up here with Hank Hill, who I actually got to talk to.
It was Hank Hill's bar, right?
Hank Hill, the real Hank Hill, I got to interview him.
It was a shitty interview.
I did a bad job.
Dino from Syndicate was like, hey, man, you're our best interviewer on Syndicate Radio.
I'm going to give you Hank Hill.
I did it and it was like a last minute thing I didn't have any prep and after
it I just thought about so much fucking shit I should have talked them about my
fucking broads back in the day and all that I asked him see him he was mostly
his answers of course like rest in peace Hank Hill anyway here let's hear
Go Home and Get Your Shine Box
I used to call him Spit-Shine Tommy. I swear to God.
Henry Hill, I'm sorry, did I say Hank Hill?
Henry Hill, thank you for your correction on Mixer Chat. You win five Madhouse dollars.
Like fucking mirrors. Excuse my language. He was terrific. He was the best.
And he made a lot of money, too.
It's all over, Tommy.
No more shines, Billy.
What?
I said no more shines. Maybe you didn't hear about it. You've been away a long time.
They didn't go up there and tell you. I don't shine shoes anymore.
Relax. What are you crying out? What's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all.
I'm only kidding with you sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding you know there's a lot
of people right I mean I'm only kidding with you we're having a party I mean I just came home I
haven't seen you in a long time and I'm breaking your balls and you're right away you're getting
fucking fresh I'm sorry I don't mean to getting fresh I gotta start using that there was a little
while while I brought that I used to say don't be fresh with me that's like an old time term I
gotta bring that back fresh don't get fresh what the fuck is that about fresh don't get fresh
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project
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This black guy just kicked him off the phone and Gilbert Godfrey just started going into like the black face fucking talking like get off the phone now. Oh my God. I haven't been able to find a copy of that on YouTube. I have no idea when that was early 2000s late 90s. I got to look that up. Henry Hill Howard Sturge show Gilbert Godfrey. It just was so fun.
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Calls Homies
That's the first time I 69'ed a girl that night.
Tell you what, I haven't looked back since.
Crane operator's done, I guess.
Let's try that Red Lobster server again.
Still a raw dog that night.
Hey, hey.
Oh, that's shit again.
Hang on, don't tell me where you are.
Shut up.
We're calling Red Lobster Baton Rouge.
This is Gary.
Let me help you.
Hey, Big Gary.
Are you the manager?
Yes, I'm one of the managers.
I'm calling about Red Lobster server.
Job you put in the peppa?
Okay.
Okay.
Can I explain my experience?
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www.redlobster.com
Matt Baz Milkman
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Software
Virtual servers
That's irrelevant to our conversation at this point, sir
I don't understand
I'm just trying to find out what kind of platforms you guys support to see if I'm a good fit
Because I don't know some stuff
I don't know AIX
Okay, well, let me do this right now
I'm going to end our conversation
Why, motherfucker?
Fill out the application
Motherfucker, why?
And then
I want to be with you
When I'm home
I'm going to take Jen home
Fuck her good
I'm the dude, she doesn't wanna fuck without a condom, but I got night news for you.
We won't stop.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Fuck yeah.
97 in the house, motherfucker.
Carlito Papa Cherry's motherfucker.
Yeah, class of 97.
Pimeridge High.
Go Panthers.
All right, Ichiban Sushi Hostess.
Seriously, this position is comical.
Read the posting and explain how you know how to do everything they're saying.
Okay, thanks for making me do all the work.
Work Carlito Took Jen Home Parents Robbed Some Church Shit At Midnight What A Mistake
Hey Jen's Dead I Know How Your Daughter Tastes Now
That's what I sung.
Alright, let's take a look at this.
Ichiban.
Ichiban.
Ichiban Sushi.
Hostess equals you need to have...
Hang on, let me turn this down.
Hostess equals you need to have good fun manners.
Be able to write...
That alone throws me out.
Be able to write legibly
I can't do that either
Like to work hard
And love dealing with the public
Okay, I love you guys
I don't know about the working hard part
Our hosts chat up our guests
Open doors, support the servers
We're not going to be a geisha
Always say goodbye and thank you
And are helpful with questions
You must be able to work weekends
No experience necessary
Let's do it, gentlemen and lady
Shout out to our one female listener tonight
Today, today
Get it right, Carlos.
Stay tuned.
How you doing, honey?
Hello.
Good to have you.
Hey, I see you got an ad in the pepa for a sushi hostess.
That's a nice person.
Manners.
Good writing.
Say hello and goodbye and thank you.
That's good.
Okay, I like to do this.
Do I have to wear a geisha costume?
No, you don't.
Okay, because this kind of sounds like you're going there.
All right, do I show the guests the table and sit them down?
That's correct.
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I was gonna do here shit I forgot the outro song I was gonna do oh my god see if it's here
nope nope and I got a peepee I gotta make a peepee guys come on did I not say the right one
shit I'm not low the right one yet I don't remember what song I wanted to talk us out
as I'd like to say the song that takes us into break it's not that big of a deal but I'm like
a Steve Jobs I'm like I gotta go to run I gotta go to run oh my god I'm autistic I'm Steve Jobs
You guys know he was autistic, right?
I know you do, I know you do.
I'll just, uh...
I guess pick a different one here at random.
That works. Okay.
Do one prank here real quick and then we'll take it out.
Wings of Glory, you're good at many
positions. Missionary, doggy style, etc.
What the fuck is Wings of Glory?
Full-time restaurant position available, you'll be trimmed
in all positions. Uh-uh-uh. I get it.
That's where the joke comes from. Eight dollars an
hour, fuckin' Republicans.
Hey, is that Big Tony? Hey, it's Tony.
Hey, how you doing? I got you got looking for servers for your machine wings tenders wings of glory tenders and wings at the airport machine
Yeah, do you looking for servers or cooks or what are you looking for?
None right now. Now. What do you have an ad in the pepper?
As already last last week or so shit 13 days ago
What was it for? What was it for for a server? No, it's for general
General, what are you doing over there? Clean the toilet?
What the fuck is that?
What are you doing?
Are you in Home Depot?
Dude, seriously, you sound like shit, and you got your ad up after it's been filled.
Pull the ad down, okay?
If it was Dwight, my friend Dwight, calling you, he would have really laid into you.
But I gotta go pee-pee right now, okay?
And I want a beer.
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We're gonna do about another hour and get out of here because my wife needs me to do stuff because I'm a married man
Happily married man when we come back. We got numbers such as a female chef wanted ice cream ice cream truck drivers
Unarmed security officers. Fuck that. I got no arms
teacher a child care center Papa John's
electric motor mechanic janitor
Dwight come on get at me and barber. All right, and more and more guys
Prank Call Nation
Madhouse Radio
will be back
right after this
Straight to the hell
Madhouse Radio is back
You are bigger than a woman
You are better than a woman
We will always be behind you
Do not let a woman
Ever
Thank you
You know what I'm saying
You got niggas that don't like me for whatever reason
You got niggas that don't want to see me
You got niggas that's mad
You're always with they bitch
You got niggas that's tight
You know I'm poppin' all this shit
But I back it up
She is a dick
A lot of niggas pop shit, a lot of niggas don't make hits
But it's like this whole bad boy shit, we come to bring it to y'all niggas
Me, B.I., Pops, Lops, whoever, Black Rock, wanna dance, we dance
Now, trip what, lace who, they ain't what maids do
Got a lot of girls at a party, I'm the back, niggas talk shit, I'm the dime sack
How you doing? Excuse me, hello. You there, buddy? Hello.
Hello, yeah.
Hey, brother, I see you got an animal machine here for sale, a kinkajou, kinkajou?
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank
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Did you want to come over and see this ferret?
No, I'm in New Orleans.
Where are you from?
Baton Rouge.
You're from the numbers Baton Rouge, huh?
Yeah, I'm from Baton Rouge, but I travel all over the place.
I'm a trucker.
I'm going to come bring it down to you.
You want to meet at the Walmart?
You got a Walmart?
I'm not interested in seeing a ferret.
I mean, if you're interested in seeing the kinkajou or buying the kinkajou, then I can meet up with you.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
But I'll bring the ferret just so you can see how much this thing looks like a kinkajou.
It's amazing.
Okay.
I'm just gonna let the ferret go
I'm just gonna let you see him
I'm just gonna let him go right there in that parking lot
Cause I don't need a ferret
Fuck a ferret you know
I ain't even gonna have a decent
I'm just gonna be a
Feral ferret
You know what I mean
So what can you tell me about
The kinkajous sexual organs
What do you mean what do you want to know about
A kinkajous sexual organ
How do they work
We mean, it's a vagina, just like any female animal or person has.
I don't understand what you're asking.
Well, like, birds have cloacas and stuff, so I don't know, maybe if, you know, it's a vagina that it has.
Where is it?
Is it at the base of the tail or the back, or where is it?
Right where it belongs, right underneath the asshole.
That's nice. That's very nice.
That's nice. Go ahead.
I was trying to think about how far deep does the vulva go?
That's something you need to ask your vet.
Are you interested in this thing?
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Go on. Go to.
All right. I'm sure there's one somewhere.
Yeah.
Otherwise, I know there's gas stations and everything else.
No, no, not there because you could play a trap.
You know that Esplanade Avenue in Kenner?
Yeah.
West Esplanade.
That's where it is. That's what I'm saying. That's where it is.
Yeah.
Well, you want to give me a call tomorrow and let me know when you want to come?
Yeah. What do you want me to wear for you?
The poop.
That was okay.
It was an okay prank.
An okay prank.
Kinkajou.
Never even heard of that animal before.
Jesus Christ.
Female Chef wanted...
Oh, by the way.
My setup right now, there's a problem, and I can't add people on Skype.
So if anyone wanted to join the show, you'd have to give me a phone number where I can call you.
That's the best I can do.
So, I'm sorry. I know I said, hey, guys, join in, but I'm going to have to be on my own for the rest of the show.
What's an internal error? Come on. Let's go.
On the phone.
Hello?
Poof, that's your biz. Hey, you looking for female chef?
It's taken.
But maybe for next time?
Yes, sir.
Why does it have to be female, Jeff?
Like, you want to apply for it, or are you asking me a question?
Well, because, have you ever heard of the Equal Opportunity Act?
Well, have you ever heard of Don't Call Me Back?
Fuck you, have you ever heard that one?
Bitch mother.
Son of a bitch.
Motherfucker.
I'll call you back a lot, motherfucker, you want?
Hey, I just told you not to call me back.
Fuck you, motherfucker, what are you going to do about it?
Fuck your mother.
I'm on the corner of f*** and s***.
Alright, well, good, so meet me at the Walmart.
I just told you don't call me back.
I'm going to play my cards right now.
You have four unheard messages.
Ooh.
First unheard message.
Ooh, we hacked it.
Record at the end of your greeting.
Press pound.
Hey, motherfucker, it's me.
If you're trying to get a hold of me, leave me a fucking message.
I'll leave you a fucking message back because I don't like to talk to people.
I screen all my phone calls.
I hate Christians.
I hate black people. I hate women. I hate Jewish people. I hate everybody. If you're a collector, I ain't paying shit to you. You don't get shit from me. Now I'm going to masturbate. Yeah. Hang on. Yeah. Yeah. Masturbating. Masturbating on the phone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
you are set incorrect key if you are satisfied with your greeting press pound if you would like
to re-record your greeting press star to replay your greeting press one here's how your personal
greeting will sound hey motherfucker it's me if you're trying to get a hold of me leave me a
fucking message i'll leave you a fucking message back because i don't like to talk to people
i'm screaming on my phone calls i hate christians i hate black people i hate women i hate jewish
If you are satisfied with your greeting, press pound.
If you would like to re-record your greeting, press star.
I always hear that, let's see if it took I'm about to buy the bar That's my car Been around the world and I, I, I And I've been player hated I don't know where and I don't know why Havana's faded I don't know why they care far
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Okay. Baby, baby. All right. Okay. Ice cream truck. I really want that guy to answer, but he ain't gonna answer.
Well, they want us faded. I don't know why they can't find us.
All right. Let's see here. Ice cream truck driver. Let's read just a caller ID here. Everybody, please just a moment.
Oh, yeah. It must have been. Sounds nothing like the guy, but it just sounds like some weird fucking shit.
Buster Casey. Hey, what's up? Nice to see you. Asked me to give a review of the new Star Trek.
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I don't know, maybe this dude doesn't ever share it.
Anyway, got a little bit of a problem with that.
I think it's fun.
I think it's a fun show.
The third episode, I was cool with it until they got to the point where they're explaining...
Spoiler alert.
Spoiler alert, everybody.
Spoiler alert, everybody.
Spoiler alert.
All right.
When they're explaining why the Discovery ship is kind of weird and it uses some kind of fungus fucking thing that goes across the world.
Closed Captions by The Closed Captions Project
The episode 3 was still pretty good.
Now, I have not seen episode 4, but I plan to see it when the show is over, and I hope it's good.
Another thing I want to mention, I'm watching this show.
I ain't paying for CBS All Access.
Why? I'm not the biggest CBS fan.
First of all, they fucked up a good show called Jericho.
Just threw it off track and fucked it up.
Second of all, not a big fan of any CBS show, to be honest with you.
Their sitcoms have always been whack.
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Pralude to Axanar
Clash of Clans
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BULLSHIT IT LOOKS SO DIFFERENT AND THE FUTURISTIC AND THIS AND THAT AND BULLSHIT
Listen to me, if you're a Star Trek fan, your franchise was fucking dead, alright?
There was a whole bunch of years there where there wasn't shit for Star Trek after Voyager went off the air, uh, after Voyager, well, after Enterprise went off the air.
I'm gonna tell you something, I'm a pretty religious Star Trek fan, I didn't watch one full episode of Star Trek Enterprise after the pilot episode.
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I Consider That The Star Trek Franchise Has Been Dead Since Deep Space Nine Had Its Finale Which Was A Phenomenal Show And Still Holds Up As A Good Space Opera Between That And The New Battlestar Galactica Which Was Awesome Also Except For Its Last Season Those Are Two Good Things To Watch If You're Looking To Get Into This Kind Of Stuff Very Two Good Series Next Generation Is Always A Show Since I Was A Kid Since The Case Started Coming On In 87 That I Can Watch Episodes Over And Over Again I've Downloaded Every
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The franchise was dead.
The old Star Trek will never succeed during the age of Peak TV, which we are in now.
Peak TV is saying that we live in an age where television has blurred the line between a television show and a movie in terms of quality and acting and the people involved and stuff like that.
Walking Dead
Breaking Bad
Mad Men
Dexter
Sopranos
The Shield
I could go on and on.
A Star Trek show
is not going to hold up to that.
The Star Trek show of old when
it was a ship and today
there's a new adventure and we're going
to beam down to the planet and
there's a virus and we've got to
come up with a cure to the virus
Star Trek Discovery
Or an old, busted-up Constitution-class ship.
No! I don't want to see that, man.
Half of Battlestar Galactica, me watching it, was sure I fell in love with, was saying,
Man, I wish they would have made a Star Trek series like this.
You know what I mean? Gritty. Real.
Like, Battlestar Galactica.
Deep Space Nine was a totally different...
There was a lot of people saying shit about Deep Space Nine when it came out.
I remember. Early 90s.
They're like, fuck this, it's not a ship, they're just on a station.
And they just walk around
And this and that
But that became a space opera
That show after that first season was fucking awesome
It was about a war
The Dominion War and all that shit
Was fucking cool
A wartime Star Trek show
It broke the mold over the
Wagon train in space idea
That Roddenberry had
They did something different and it was good
And then they went back to Voyager
The, you know
Adventure of the day
They added the fact that they were lost in space or whatever, but fucking lost in space.
That's already been done, too.
Anyway, off my soapbox, I like the show.
I think it looks great.
I think it's different.
And I'm not going to be sitting here saying,
Well, bullshit, the bridge doesn't look like the fucking Enterprise, original Enterprise.
Like, no shit, fucker.
The Klingons don't look like the original Klingons, either.
They didn't in the TNG era.
And I think the Klingons look fucking dope right now.
I think they did a really good job with the Klingons, I think.
It's really, really different.
Let's inject something new into this, because the old formula didn't work.
They tried.
They had two stinker movies in a row.
And Enterprise was a stinker show until the, from what I understand, at the end of it,
they were starting to get into the Romulan conflict, and it started getting good, and
then it got canceled, because A, the damage had been done, the viewers weren't there,
because all the bullshit had gone on, and UPN was done, also.
That was it.
That was it for UPN and the WB.
They combined, and that was it.
Maybe I'll watch Enterprise. I don't know, dude. I don't know.
Star Trek experience, if you're a video game fan, a video game history fan,
if you think about Sega during the 90s, where they got to the point where they had the market share
above Nintendo and the SNES with the Genesis, and then they just started doing shit after shit.
and they started doing CD and then 32X and then Saturn and then by the time Dreamcast came out
it's too late bro and then you didn't put a DVD player in the Dreamcast and that's what really
killed it because that killed Japan Sega had legs in Japan with the Dreamcast until the PlayStation
2 said hey you get a free DVD player with this motherfucker so back then you could if you wanted
to get a DVD player you could spend the same amount of money get a PlayStation 2 so now you
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Spock's Dad
TV show The Office on NBC the comedy he's not him but he's just like he seems like he would he
would be on a web series almost you know what I mean I don't think he's a good actor the Spock's
dad Sarak or whatever um but Michelle what's her name from Walking Dead's doing a good job
Sunit Green not Michelle Sunit Green Michelle Yeo uh was okay but I don't know I just don't
think people are going to have that thick of an accent that far into the future I think everything
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Pranks
Lunch Lady
Thank You
Sending in Numbers
Including the site that begat that last weird animal call
Thank you sir
A few more numbers from him
I will try to get to those
Mob 7
Sending in Numbers as well
Breaking News
We got a message here from Matt Hillock
Laugh Track Matt Hillock
Host of Party Time with Matt and Sidekicks X
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Clothes hanger to open the door from underneath $75 yep $75 I tried to pick it myself the entire
time while I waited for him to get here did not work like that so the first thing I did as soon
as he finished that he had gone to the car to take my credit card and process the payment he
went back to his truck I got the old screwdriver and took out that lock I took out the doorknob
so there's a hole in that doorknob now Fina's listening hey Fina trying the ice cream truck
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The owner of Tactical Impact Security, LLC, which stands for Excellent, Precision, and Professionalism.
If you receive this message, I'm currently on the other line with a client.
Teacher at a child care center.
Hi, how are you?
Good.
Good. I want to be teach.
What?
I want to be teach.
This is a child care center for young children.
You put a job in the paper for teaching.
Oh, you want to teach here.
I want to be teach.
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Brandon Johnson
You know I can appreciate what you want to eat the children
I show my penis and I say hey this is
You show your penis and you masturbate
Well you know what you need to go find somebody else to get sick with
This is where babies come from
This is where babies come from
Oh my god
That was fucked up
Prank Call Nation
Hello leave a message after the time alright no more ice cream
papa john's positions there's a whole list of them let's leave them till later
electric motor mechanic machines
do it
I feel remorseless of getting your first race of porsches with them saucers
On the cover of your vibes that look like sounds of saucers
Hello?
Hey, we can't be stopped now. It's Carlito for life. How you doing, buddy?
Fuck you, man. Why, I can't be nice to you and the funk? Have a little fun?
We need your call to forward it to an automatic voice.
Castaflow Steal them, catch them, no Pack the flow, that's for sure Bottles to pop, joints to rock Play the background, handle my jock Holding my flip, balls to sit at and sip Hold the seat, make sure they knowin' it's me Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system Trying to get them two-toed sloths, you know what I mean? Like two-timing, backstabbing sloths Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system
Hello, this is Jen. Sorry, I missed your call.
Oh, I thought it was a real person.
Let's see. Hot belly pigs.
Let me just some cholerides.
Choleraids got to be adjusted.
Maybe that'll help.
Hey, thanks Antichrist for hitting up the Patreon.
Patreon.com slash Madhouse. Much appreciated.
That's hard to do because there's not even any links or buttons anywhere right now.
It's just the word of mouth.
Thank you, sir.
All I asked for was a dollar.
That's all.
And you don't have to.
You can just leech. It's okay.
I love you guys no matter what.
Already adjusted. Now moving on to do the call.
Thank you, Lunch Lady.
That Lunch Lady's a weird cat.
Like, I want to like Lunch Lady, but he does some weird stuff.
And I do. I know I do, too.
Good guy.
I do listen to the show.
I'll be nice. I'll be nice.
It's a good show, though.
It's entertaining.
Lunch Lady Machines.
Lunch Lady on Mixolar.
Mixolar.
The guy that gives me numbers that no one picks up at Throat of the Infidels Like Lunch
Lady Make him kneel in front of you Slit his throat on the video
Hello?
Hey, red kangaroo?
No
Imported?
No
Bitch?
Why'd you keep it up if it sold, you stupid bitch, you motherfucker?
Yeah
Pet Life
Baby Kangaroo
Oh, good. How baby is kangaroo?
Um, hang on a minute please.
No, how baby is baby kangaroo?
I gotta...
Oh, well does the baby kangaroo sleep in the mama kangaroo pouch still?
Aww, little baby kangaroo?
That's what I want to say to them. Little baby, baby, baby!
Yeah, they're cute.
How soon can they be separated from their mama?
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
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And normally I'll be pissed.
I'd be like, oh shit, because making noise and yelling at the screen.
But I was in a good mood that night.
I was on a date.
It wasn't with a black girl.
But I was in a good mood.
Matter of fact, it was at Universal Studios Florida.
They have a really good theater that you can drink alcohol in and stuff like that.
But it's notorious for black youth going to it.
Don't know why.
Just a place to hang out.
It is kind of close to the ghetto out there to the Metro West area.
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When you saw Batman vs. Superman, oh that story that was fucking bullshit
So I got there to the movie theater Batman vs. Superman I go I get my popcorn
I get my large coke zero no ice spent my $25 on that and I walk into the theater and
They're playing spoiler alert spoiler alert. They're playing like it's a military scene. You hear like
Amazing grace and there's a military scene and they're shooting the cannons and I'm thinking okay
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Get them over my time here. I'm getting dirty looks.
The janitor job, this one comes from Parkman. Let's do that.
Thanks again, Parkman, for your assistance, as always.
Thanks for everyone else who sent in a number.
Thank you, Delma Bonfer, for completely derailing the show while I talked about scary movies and movies.
Our office hours are Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.
If you know your target extension, you may dial it at any time.
If you are a school employee or a substitute teacher calling to create, modify, or keep your own assignment,
Please press 1 for the scheduling team.
For questions regarding payroll, please contact the Employee Service Center at 866-535-5948 or press 2.
For all other calls, please remain on the line and the staffing representative will be with you in a moment.
Playing this soundtrack a lot. I got a lot of what's ups for playing this.
California Institutional Staffing with Jennifer. How can I help you?
Hey, sexy Jennifer. How are you?
What can I help you with?
Yeah, I saw you had a job for a janitor in the PIPA.
Okay.
I like the janitor.
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Carlito Laugh Track
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23andMe Class Action Settlement Line
So you don't think this is appropriate for me?
For fucking my wife?
Well, yeah, probably not.
Alright, what about for holding farts in so I can smell them for a while?
Well, yeah, I didn't want to come on your show and do it, but...
No, yeah, you just want to see what's up.
Well, you're probably not going to hold it in that much, no.
Yeah, because I've been farting in my CPAP machine, but...
I'm sorry to bother you. Bye.
It doesn't last that long.
Like, are we wanting to get a nice funk in there, you know what I mean?
Right.
You ever fart in your hand and smell it?
Uh, no.
Well, you try right now.
And why is it we're not able to just take coal and press it to the point where it becomes a diamond?
What happened with synthetic diamonds?
There was a whole talk, like, 20 years ago,
we're going to have some better diamonds, and diamonds are going to fall.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Always with this whole retirement bullshit.
Always retiring.
Always leaving.
Because people keep fucking with me.
Thank you for calling the customer service department.
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To speak with a customer service representative, please remain on the line.
All of our customer service representatives are assisting other customers.
Stay on the line and the next available representative will gladly assist you.
Thank you for calling EpiSmooth.
This is Bonnie.
May I please have your last name and your zip code?
My name is Cross.
My zip code is 32808. I live in Florida. I like farts.
I'm sorry, what was your zip code again?
32808.
Are you calling about an existing order?
No, this is a new order.
I'll try it one more time and I think this is the last call of the day.
I hope you all have enjoyed the show.
Thank you for calling the customer service department.
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We're calling EpiSmooth. This is Mary. May I have your last name and phone number to access your order?
My name is Cross.
Can you spell that?
Cross, like Jesus Cross.
Oh, C-R-O-S-S. Okay.
No.
I haven't ordered yet. Why do you need my phone number? Do you just want it?
Oh, well, most people that call in on the customer service line have an order.
2-2-5-7-2.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
It's kind of, oh, it's kind of, there's like the hair gets in there and it kind of messes with the, the, the, the, the, the, the tendons of it.
That was a good one there.
The coarse hair is getting in the way of the farting and it doesn't sound like it used to.
And that's a real problem for me.
See, you hear that one?
Okay.
I'm on the gas.
I'm on the gas.
Literally, I'm on the gas, guys.
I don't know, maybe a couple more.
I don't know, guys.
Madhouse Live
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Discord.gg slash pranks
That's the minging discord chat
Also you've got the Madhouse IRC still kicking
That's for super fans right there
You can hit that up
That's the Prankdo server
Thanks to Ding May for hooking that up
That's over at MadhouseLive.com to get to it
Or Prankdo.com
Be sure to look up myself on YouTube
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Laugh Track
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and of course
your boy Dwight
over at
DwightTheJanitor.com
where the Chinese
will steal your shit
they can hook you up
with some viruses
look him up on YouTube
DwightTheJanitor
he's got great stuff
he just had something
uploaded today
with Facebook trolling
check that out
he does a show
Saturday nights
usually here
10pm Eastern
7pm Pacific
and be sure to check out
Brad Carter
and the Snowplow Show
support all those people
Domestika By outsider
posted address
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A thousand miles from the earth, a rocket would need this much power, this much power, this much power, this much power, this much power.
Your penis and your masturbate.

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