Verizon Burgers
21 Oct 2017 · 2 h 34 min · 10,174 words · source
Calls (22, 1 h 18 min of 2 h 34 min)
- Arby's venison burger inquiry live 4.6 min clip ↓
- Arby's employee about venison burgers live 1.6 min clip ↓
- Wendy's about venison burgers live 33 s clip ↓
- Red Robin about venison burger shipment live 1.1 min clip ↓
- Madhouse Live playback call playback 48 s clip ↓
- Madhouse Live playback call live 2.6 min clip ↓
- Madhouse Live playback call playback 1.1 min clip ↓
- Manager accused of sabotaging hot sauce bottle live 19.8 min clip ↓
- Arby's manager about venison order live 1.1 min clip ↓
- Arby's caller apologizes and demands sandwich live 10.1 min clip ↓
- Lowe's customer service asked for Larry live 2.1 min clip ↓
- Pho restaurant order with racist remarks live 3.3 min clip ↓
- Call to F-Dad about cousin live 48 s clip ↓
- Neighbor prank call about wife live 1.1 min clip ↓
- Santa Claus voicemail voicemail 33 s clip ↓
- Clip playback from automated message playback 48 s clip ↓
- Prank call about neighbors' sex life live 4.1 min clip ↓
- Dave falsely accused of sex live 1.3 min clip ↓
- Blossom Restaurant complained about service live 9.3 min clip ↓
- Fussbag Unplugged pho complaint live 4.6 min clip ↓
- Neighbor about seeing naked people live 3.1 min clip ↓
- Arby's venison sandwich sold out live 4.3 min clip ↓
Transcript
Loses number because I do not appreciate being cursed at appreciate yelling. I've been nothing but respectful with okay. Yeah, let me find it
I'll come shit in your yard. Oh my god. That is horrible. Why would you call to say that because I want art?
I want the venison burger. We ran out of them. Okay. Well, I'm sorry. I can't
You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.
I don't know.
Well, yeah, but I'm trying to figure out.
I know you got a two-sandwich per customer limit, right?
Yeah, it's a two-customer.
All right, so I'm going to keep coming around and around the drive-thru two at a time, then.
I mean, I can save you guys time if you just want to work with me and let me get what I want straight up.
I won't tell anybody, or I can just keep coming around and around the drive-thru.
All right, so I need to come down, like, ten times.
I need 20 of them.
Well, can you just work with me here?
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Quote, quote, air quote friends.
Give me a moment, Axma, please.
I need to get through the fucking plugs.
All right, so everyone be sure you're headed over to madhouselive.com.
If you're not at this moment, you're listening to us wherever.
And subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already so that you can get this show.
This show, I commit to 72 hours to get it up, edited in an edited fashion for faster and easier listening.
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So I'm gonna give it a week and if it's still not coming up because I love my echo
Had to change the command to it from Alexa to echo because
God the autistic it wouldn't shut the fuck up yelling at it whenever he came over the autistic nephew of mine
Alexa
Shut the fuck up fucking parents. Don't do anything about it
Goddammit
If you can't get to tune in
Or if you don't have an internet connection
Where you're at
If you're at work
Stuck in a place with no cell reception
Or where you're not allowed to use a cell phone
Let's say
It's blocked
We're blocked
Shoutcast is blocked
Internet radio is blocked
If you can make a phone call on your cell phone
On your desk phone
Or if you're one of just a few people there
Closing up the shop
Closing
And you just want to call on the phone
Put it on speakerphone and listen
605-475-0097
Call 605-475-0097
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If you want to donate $5 or more, you become horse status.
You get that.
Plus, you get access to a Discord server that we just kind of use.
There's not much action there, but maybe it'll grow.
You can listen to Shako down off-air when I'm on my own doing some prank calls.
Right now, I've committed to release two shows per month.
So I'm thinking every other week I'll release a show.
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Matt House Radio
Oh no
Oh shit, I guess not
Maybe Brad Carter is
Alright, I'm his friend, I can say that
We have fun, we make fun
Let's do some more prank calls
Let's call another Arby's
But first let's adjust our caller ID to match that area
Wink wink
Wink
Hey is that Ryan?
Hey Ryan
Hey this is Zachary, I'm over here at the Elliot store
I'm so sorry there was a
Yeah, this is Zachary over here at the Elliott store.
Oh, man, super busy with the Verizon burger, the venison burger.
Yeah, we've been selling a lot of ours, too.
Oh, shit.
How many do you guys got left?
How many venison burgers do we have left?
Two.
You got two left?
All right.
Hey, put this on hold for me, man.
Straight up.
All right.
I got them for you.
All right, because we just ran out, and I got to get it on.
I got a pregnant wife at home.
She will destroy me if I don't bring it home.
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
All right, I'll see you then. My name's Ryan.
All right, Ryan. Bye.
Cool, they know each other.
So, you know.
So he wasn't fooled by the boys.
I meant to call in and try to do the white
the white kind of
voices.
Anyway, maybe they all
go to school together, right?
They all sleep together, yeah.
They all fuck. Yeah.
Here's a totally different Arby's. Maybe they don't
So we effectively took off the venison from the menu.
I hope a redneck guy comes in and is like,
Why do you mean you just ran out, motherfucker?
How about you keep him back there for yourself?
You know?
Oh, yeah.
So the puppy woke us up at like 6 in the morning, and I couldn't get back to sleep.
So I went online, and I saw that Arby's started the venison burger at 9.30.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
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Hey, this is Zachary. I'm over here at the store in Elliott.
Hey, how you doing? I don't know if I know you. I don't know if we've met before or not.
I'm not sure. Maybe.
Yeah, maybe. Hey, how are the venison burgers going? How many you got left?
I only have one tray left. That's it.
Hey, hold that tray for me. I want to come buy them all.
I'm going off right now. How many do you got left? So I know.
Count them all. I don't know offhand.
Okay, but one tray? I mean, that's like 20, right?
Oh, I probably have more than that, yeah.
Okay. Oh, that's a lot then. No, no, no.
I don't want to have that many, you know what I mean?
Hey, put that, hold like 15 of them for me.
And I'm coming right now to get them, all right?
And I get an employee discount on those, right?
Don't discount on them.
Why not?
No employees get discount on the venison.
Well, come on.
It's a full price.
Come on, come on.
Come on, it's me and Zach.
All right.
I'm over here.
I have to pay full price, so do you.
Come on, come on.
No.
I'll suck your dick.
I'm sorry.
I'll suck your dick.
Man, I would give you that, you know.
I wonder what the employee discount is.
It's like a 10% discount.
They're making a big deal.
There will not be a price.
Dude, let me see if I can find...
So yeah, I bought two more, and I ate one of those already, and I have one left, AXPA.
It's in the fridge.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to actually transfer it to Ziploc and freeze it, and I'm going to have it on Thanksgiving.
That's a good idea.
No, it's not.
I'm going to freeze dry it.
I'm going to vacuum seal it.
Oh, shit.
I don't have a receipt.
Dude, all right, so let's see.
I just went to see.
It was $17 for two of them.
So, yeah, I mean, it's pricey.
Just a sandwich, and I get the meal.
Mighty.
Ooh.
Yeah, that's some Hardee's prices, right?
I don't know.
Hardee's has a burgers are real kind of they're kind of expensive.
Okay.
All right.
You're sound like you're playing a game there.
You sound like I'm really on your case.
No, no, no, no.
I'm paying more attention to you than the game.
Oh, good.
Good.
All right.
Let's see here.
Let's call Wendy's.
Big Wendy's.
I told the guy Verizon burgers.
Thank you for calling Wendy's.
How can I help you?
Hey, this is Zachary.
I'm calling from Arby's.
Okay on Elliot, I don't know if you know where we at
Back from Arby's. Yeah. Yeah, it's that from Arby's. Okay, you know where the Walmart's is
Yeah
Hey, you know, did you hear about those?
Verizon burgers that we're selling
Venice I'm sorry venison burgers that we're selling. No, sorry
Okay, so we got these venison burgers that everyone's going crazy for
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I'm trying to find a place that's sold out of this so I can go into the Jack Marrish.
Oh, yeah.
Are you supposed to sell?
Oh.
You're keeping them for yourself.
Thank you for calling Tempe Red Robin, home of the gourmet burgers.
This is Jenny.
How can I help you?
Hey, Red Robin.
It's Arby's from across the way.
Yes.
Hey, how you doing?
We're over here.
You know, Arby's across the street where the Walmart is?
Uh-huh.
Hey, honey.
How are you?
It's good to talk to you.
Hey, did you hear, did you guys hear about the Verizon, the venison burger?
No.
Oh, okay, never mind.
So, listen, we got a box of your stuff.
We got a few boxes of your stuff.
Over here, U.S. Foods dropped off a big shipment over here.
Oh, okay, let me get my manager.
Yeah, what's the manager's name?
His name is Bob.
Well, I'm Zachary.
Okay, we'll get him for you.
Let's go.
All right, hurry up.
Oh, hey, Big XYZ, I didn't see you join.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
That's 13
That's us that's us man
That's us dude
Like why are they delivering your stuff here
I have no idea who signed for it
One of my guys did
But it's your fault why is it here
This is your fault I'm throwing this stuff out to the back
Right now
Can you hold on a second
I'm gonna throw the shit out of here
I got a lot of shit I gotta do
Okay well
Hold on a second okay
Alright alright
Call Nation Madhouse Live
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Hello this is Bob
This is Zach from Arby's
No this isn't Zach
I'm calling on behalf of Zach
I'm on my cell phone
And I'm on my cell phone
And there's a bunch of shit
There's a bunch of shit over here
That US Foods just delivered
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Yeah, alright. Great call. Great call.
Always great when you get to hear in the background what's going on.
Let's call Zach now, for real. Let's call him back.
Planned it by him messing with us. Messing up our flow over here. That's fucked up.
Yeah, he was playing with my prostitute earlier.
Phone is busy. He's either calling someone or still talking to someone else.
The other people are calling him now.
We just got a call from your guy, Trey, that said he was going to suck a dick.
Busy, still busy.
All right, well, we'll keep going.
Maybe later.
Get your shit out of here.
You got to love those calls, right, guys?
I love getting your shit out of here.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Always a good time.
Always a good time, yeah.
Do they ever leave you voicemails upset with you?
Well, no, because I don't really have an incoming call line.
Oh, shit.
Damn, dude, those are the best, man.
I could go through mine and I have like all these women yelling at me saying I'm an asshole you know wasting their time
yeah well not to give people an idea but um when I used to be able to do that have it set up like
that I just had my number kept being used by people for the caller id get me in trouble
it was used for nefarious shit you know or like during a show there was a couple people out there
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
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Then I had to scrape all the guac off, and it still was salty, but I was too embarrassed to go up to them to say what I did, because I thought it was stupid.
Then by the time I got halfway home, I was like, motherfucker, no, that's stupid what they do.
Yeah, it's stupid artsy type of stuff. It should be clearly labeled what it is. That's what it should be. I'm sorry.
You said really big on it. N-A-C-L. Everyone would know what that means.
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I don't know. I usually don't go to Chipotle.
I'm a Panera Bread type of guy.
Man, everything
The thing about Panera Bread has gotten sour, smaller, and expensive.
Ah, shit, you're right.
My bill for the same order has gone up over the past few months.
And they've been skimping on size.
Well, yeah, that's the first thing.
That's true.
And everything's just sharp.
All the cheese is sharp.
Hi, thank you for calling Chipotle.
I'm Will and Baseline.
This is Michael.
How can I help you today?
Hey, I want to go to you guys because everything that Panera Bread makes is, like, sour, you know?
You know what I mean?
Like, everything that Panera Bread makes is sour, so I decided I wanted to come with Chipotle.
Yeah, well, here's the problem. I came in there, and why do you put your hot sauce in Tabasco, your, um, shit.
Why do you put your salt and pepper in Tabasco bottles?
Where do I, where do we put them?
Why do you put your salt, why do you put your salt and your pepper in Tabasco bottles?
Um, good question, honestly. Um, not 100% sure.
But you do that, right? That's your thing?
Yeah.
Okay, so you want to explain to me, motherfucker, that I went over there and got myself my burrito bowl, and I got extra guacamole, and I never get extra guacamole because I'm cutting, bro.
You know what I mean?
But I had a real stressful fucking week at the gym and at work, and I want my old lady.
So I decided I wanted guacamole, and I paid the extra.
How much is it?
One what for a guacamole?
For extra, I believe it's $1.95.
That's two bucks, bro.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
So then I get, I drive down to the park, and I go, and I'm sitting in my car, and I go to put hot sauce on it, and the whole fucking thing of salt comes out of it.
Of salt?
Yes, it was full of salt, the bottle was.
The bottle of hot sauce was full of salt?
Yeah.
Did you not see the salt? It's in a clear Tabasco.
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But the thing is, we've put a clear Tabasco Salsa bottle outside that has salt in it.
And every other one that is hot salsa is red.
I'm colorblind.
Okay, well, I really don't know what to tell you.
It all looks the same to me.
It all looks the same to me.
It said hot sauce.
It said hot sauce.
It said hot sauce, motherfucker you.
I am not going to argue with you, sir.
If you'd like to call a manager, I will let me talk to a man. Let me talk to a man and stop laughing
It's not funny. I just want to come in and get my money back is what I'm saying
You need to give me a free bowl. I need a free bowl
I'm coming with the salty bowl and I want a free bowl, but don't smile
That's ridiculous she was talking down to you she really was yeah
They had the authority to tell me I can get a free bowl. That's bullshit
2
That's right. That's right. You should write that down in a notepad. Do you have notepad that exe on your computer?
No pet plus Plus. Oh
Perfect. Yeah write that down and make sure you have that logged for later. They're still connected
She's looking for manager
Crazy better be
What did she just say I'm gonna put a manager on the phone if there was a manager there
Why did she decide to argue with me about like she's defending the chain. I think she was laughing at you
She thinks I'm stupid.
She said, did you not see it clearly in her?
Hello?
This is Randy.
Is Randy a manager or just a man?
Yes, I am.
I am a manager, sir.
Okay, well, listen.
This is unacceptable what you people did.
You sabotaged the hot sauce bottle, and you could kill someone doing this.
Okay, the thing is, I know that we have clear bottles that are specifically designed for salt.
And that's one of those things of it's a half-empty bottle that we use.
It says hot sauce on it, sir.
I understand. Let me grab the actual bottle so I can read it so I can read all the details on it because it's one of the Tabasco bottles. We have them shipped in specially there.
It says really big on a Tabasco. That's disgusting. You're disgusting, sir.
The Tabasco brand pepper sauce. The clear empty bottle.
Sauce! Sauce! Sauce!
Santa Maria, coño!
It says...
Empty bottle. Okay, we get them shipped in from our order. We don't put any Tabasco in them. They are specifically empty bottles.
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Hello? Yeah, hi, I'm there, and I've been listening to this phone call, and he has to tell you his name.
Okay, sir, you're in a management position, and you're representing the company. Okay, so please present your name to us.
Go through to corporate, sir.
I'm sorry?
If you have any further complaints, you can go through to our corporate office, sir.
Listen, he was doing S motions on the road because of the salt that he took the Tabasco container and he put it in his car and he poured it out and there was salt all over and he was freaking out and he did S left and right and as he said, God himself intervened and saved him, but listen, what you've done here, you need to own up to your mistakes here. Do you understand?
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
be my guest
I'm
listen
I think that you need to get
the employees all rounded up
okay
and we can
conduct this apology
I feel like that's the best
course of action
you know
the employees have done
nothing wrong
I'm not
sir you
you need to own up
for the mistakes that you made
you put these
you tried
you thought they would be funny
to do a prank
and to put
these
salt
in a Tabasco
continue
you thought that that would be
a funny joke
you know
but it's not funny
okay
there's no joke
It's not funny, okay? You made a prank, and it backfired.
Oh, so you did it intentionally. That's even worse, then.
I'm sorry. I'm getting- no, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm too upset now. I can't speak to you.
This is ridiculous. You know, shame on you, sir. You know, you need to grow up, honestly. Goodbye.
Too much salt. I like the I like it. How you walked out with it
Didn't even catch that I just swiped it
Just take it in and I was driving while I was eating a
Mean the burritos are pretty hard enough to eat when you're driving. I'm sure I can imagine the ball
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No, we're on Alley and the 101.
Okay, listen, asshole.
I'm saying that the one on Baseline, that's where this happened to me.
And the manager, you know who Bob is, the manager over there?
No.
Okay, well, he told me that.
I told him that I go to your place all the time.
You're the one that's closest to where I work, okay?
But I didn't go there today.
I was down on the other side of the area.
So I came from another way to go to work.
I work at the golf course.
You know the one?
Okay.
I don't have time for this. Shut up.
Aw, man. She's done.
I'm going home.
You're going home?
Yeah, she says I'm going home. I'm done with this.
Top of the hour?
No, she can't.
Oh, I don't know when their shift ends.
Till it's dirty.
Whoa.
Connected and silent.
Put me right on. Okay.
Enough of that.
How about some more Arby's? Yeah.
Someone about food machines.
Prank Call Nation
You two are both welcome to stay here
throughout the entire process.
Yeah.
And anyone else.
Any other members of the
Super Friends of Prank Calls
are invited.
And if you want to talk to Arby's
about their whole venison thing,
you're more than welcome to.
Oh, shit.
They have venison stuff there now?
today one day oh damn I fucked up then I thought it was like good for like the
entire month or something oh yeah I got it yeah I got to get him the whole bed
for me for tomorrow please a pre-order
Here's the Arby's, yeah The headlines suck us, the pace, the deadline, the head is way past Hello, Trance, thank you Wow, look at that customer service Thank you for choosing Arby's, this is Shawna, can I help you? Hi, Shawna, you guys are doing the venison thing today, right? We are, yes sir Yeah, can I place an order for tomorrow? Can you just keep it in the fridge or something, please? Because I thought that it was for the entire month, okay?
No, as soon as we run out, we are out.
Ah, I see. So, yeah, place my order right now, then, and then I'll come in tomorrow on my way to church, and I'll pick it up, if you could.
How many sandwiches are you going to order?
Just one. I'm going to have one venison sandwich.
Yeah, because I'm at the end of my amount, and we were told not to hold any.
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What's the problem?
Honestly, sir, I don't appreciate the language.
I don't know.
I want my fucking venison sandwich, okay?
Wow, really?
You're going to use the F-bomb on me?
I don't really appreciate that.
You have a wonderful day.
Well, I want my sandwich, okay?
I've been waiting for this for months.
I was reading the subreddit, and they were talking about the sandwich, and I want it.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry.
I got heated.
Yeah, I got upset.
I was like, wow, really?
I love Arby's.
They're great.
Green Bees are Arby's correspondent, chief Arby's correspondent.
He was saying...
He's their representative.
Arby's is Seanette. Can I help you?
Yeah, hi. Were you just talking to my friend about getting a sandwich?
If your friend's the one that said the F-bomb to me, then yes, I was the one talking to him.
Yeah, I'm sorry. We're actually in a Christian band, and I don't know why he's been acting like that.
Wow. He better go repent. Otherwise, he's going to go to hell today.
I'm going to put it on to apologize to you.
I'm going to fuck off.
Hey, man.
Wow, that's really apologizing.
hey hi listen i'm sorry okay i'm look my i've been doing i tried i went to a concert the other
day and i accidentally done did like um uh like marijuana and it's just like really changed me
that's all so i'm sorry okay and i appreciate you apologizing but that's not gonna help me
hold one for you for tomorrow fucking bitch you won't hold the sandwich even after i apologized
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
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Madhouse Live
Jesus, Carlito.
Oh, man.
I'm sorry.
Listen, it's because we tried
marijuana at that
concert and, you know, it just changed
us, that's all. Three days ago. Yeah.
And it's still in our system.
You saw the wrinkle. I was
trying to think of something that you couldn't
use as an excuse.
Oh my god.
Marijuana, and it just changed me.
R.B.S.A.S.H.A.
I mean, in my defense, I was getting gas and tea for the show, my iced tea, and the Arby's is right next to the gas station, and I was like, come on, man.
So I called on myself.
Arby's, this is Sasha.
Hey, how you doing? Yay, Arby's. I love Arby's. I love venison.
Hey, how many more Verizon burgers do you have?
I'm sorry?
How many more Verizon burgers do you have?
The venison burgers?
Yeah.
We have about 35, 40 left, so we have plenty.
Monalittle
I don't want you guys have to bring it back.
You think they won't bring it back then?
They're not going to bring it back.
Noooooooo
Really?
Just this one day.
Ok oh man.
Alright so what do I do?
Can I get them?
You're not gonna sell them tomorrow right?
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You should order the venison thing, but then ask them to remove the venison meat.
Just do like a regular thing.
We're calling Arby's. How can we help you today?
Yeah, hi. I'd like to make an order. One venison.
Just for just one sandwich or the meal?
Well, just how many sandwiches can I get? Two?
Per customer?
All right. How can we get around that?
You want to get more than two?
Yeah, because I heard, I looked online, I was looking at the results coming in, and they're not good.
So did you want to get all the ones that I have left?
What do you got left? How many?
I have 22.
Nice, nice. All right, so what are we looking at, $8 per?
$8 per sandwich, correct, or you could get the meals as well.
I don't want that meal. What am I going to do with all those drinks? I can get those drinks whenever I want. I want the venison burgers.
Just the burgers, and it's $8 a piece plus tax.
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You can't sell them to me at all, then?
No.
Well, come on, I'll do it good.
Do you like to have your nipples touched and pinched?
No.
Let me talk to another girl there.
That is horrible.
Why would you call and say that?
Why?
For real?
Why would I say something like that?
No, no, no.
That's what she was saying.
I thought you were agreeing with me.
Oh, no.
No, of course not.
I thought that it was very romantic what you said you know it's nice you sweet you're doing
what you're good at yeah you work there at Arby's and I'm good at you know whatever yeah
yeah let's see if I can find the guy the guy that lives in Hawaii Chris
been a while since I've talked to big Chris I don't know if you know what I'm talking about
but he's this Hawaiian guy it's the chief he's the chief sounding guy yeah
I'm always funny with him about a monitor, about a viewer.
Not always, but I had the one call, yeah.
You know what I'm talking about. You're on it.
Oh, yeah, dude. That's one of my favorites. Good character.
Thank you for calling Lowe's.
Larry, yes. Is it Larry?
I think so.
Thank you for calling Lowe's.
Looking at about 20 minutes until break, and then we'll do another two hours of show.
Open it up for Big Black.
customer service how can i direct your call hey honey how are you i'm good how are you
sex i was looking to talk to larry and tool world is he there sure yeah one moment thanks honey
see if he's really there we can do another call in the meantime maybe we can squeeze two in see
that happens sometimes it works out everyone while we're waiting be sure to look for madhouse
on youtube madhouse radio on youtube subscribe like and share thank you
1000 Bishop Street
This is Edna.
How may I help you?
Hey, Starbucks.
How are you?
Yeah, I love coffee.
I love coffee.
I love Seattle.
I love girls.
I love the smell of women.
How are you doing?
Hi.
Hey, I'm making another phone call in the background.
It's good to talk to you.
Oh, okay.
Did you want to meet my manager?
But why?
Hello?
Is Larry there?
Hello?
Yeah, what's the manager's name?
Chanel.
Chanel?
Why do you think I need to talk to her?
Why do you want me to talk to her?
Hello?
Hello?
Can I help you?
Hey, Chanel, the manager?
I don't know, what did she make me talk to you? I could have talked to her.
Yeah, I hear something weird. I don't know, maybe it's your phone that's a piece of shit, you know?
Yeah, I wanted to make an order.
I'm gonna come pick it up. I need a karma macchiato venti.
What? You're acting like you can't hear me, you bitch.
Hello?
Hello?
Let's try to call just a Starbucks this time.
It was taking way too long anyway to get a hold of someone at Lowe's.
In that configuration that we were trying.
You know what I mean.
Uh-oh.
No real pulling out of 808.
Did the island of Hawaii lose communication?
Oh my god.
Maybe they got a tsunami.
Tissue.
Oh man.
Hey Chanel, how can I help you?
Hey, is this manager Chanel?
Hello?
Why are you being quiet?
You bitch.
Whatever.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
You got pho? Yeah, you got pho?
What it mean?
Pho. You got pho? Vietnamese food?
Yes, I have pho. I have pho. I have pho.
Then what do you mean, what does this mean?
I want some pho. I want to make an order for pho, pho, pho, pho, pho, pho.
Okay?
I don't understand what you say.
I want to make an order for pho.
Yes, pho. What kind you want pho?
I want hot pho.
Yes, hot.
With the noodle and the hot pho.
Yes, but what kind you want chicken pho? How you want beef pho?
Put the meat with me in it to be you put the meat and then you put the lemongrass and then you put the
Beans in it, you know the white bean. Hello
She lost
When I said you have the full and she's like, what do you mean? Like what do you think? I mean?
Skippy may have you yeah one fall. Okay before to go. Yeah with with hot water
Hot water
What you do hot water?
I put the hot water in the bowl
You've been here before?
Yeah, I ate pho before
Okay, you come here, what kind you want and I cook for you, okay?
No, no, no, I need to take it because I don't like you people
People what?
I don't like you people
You people, I don't like Vietnamese people
But I like your food
Okay, quick, quick
We're not making many people happy tonight
Is he close to India?
Oh, I want some Vietnamese in the States because that's too fucking much right now Vietnamese in the Los Angeles
Yeah, you know bitches come a dime a dozen. So don't get mad when I fuck your cousin X
Oh my god, not no, I'm not sorry. Okay. It was a joke. No, it's fine. Yeah, I don't have to be sorry about saying a joke, right?
Yeah, just suck it out back to the joke. Oh, yeah, I'm sucking
Callers
Callers
We blew up the phone internet
Number
Saigon if any of you would like to do fall let me know and not I'm gonna be doing fall right now
we are I do fall yeah, yeah, we're about 12 11 to 12 minutes away from that break and
Prank Call Nation
You know what, let me just take that break, okay?
So I can take a pee, eat my venison sandwich, the one I got left.
Sorry to make y'all hold there.
Sorry, doing it again.
My bad.
What am I going with this?
I didn't bump every hole in the wall, y'all.
Did you catch that phone call?
Most of y'all didn't make me.
Thought I was tall.
Give a flip.
What music is that here?
Where we at?
Did you think twice?
Home slice came anyway.
Satisfied, got big balls.
Ain't shit.
Mewed coast to coast.
Yeah, I left the boat.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
TuneIn Radio is now activated.
You can listen to us on the go using the TuneIn Radio app.
Just look for Madhouse Radio Prank Calls on there.
You can always dial 605-475-0097.
Once again, that's 605-475-0097 to tune into the show with just your phone line.
You don't have to rely on your internet connection.
If you've got a telephone connection, you're good to go.
Chat over at discord.gg slash pranks.
Prank Call Communities
Chatting Away
Listening to the show
and doing other things.
A lot of good shows out there
you can check out.
Follow me on Twitter
at Madhouse
and Madhouse.Live
on Facebook.
Alright, guys.
Catch you in a few minutes.
Thank you.
Towns Radio will be back
right after this.
Touch up!
That when you die,
they put your GPS
in your box
and a trap door
at the bottom.
So when you die,
Madhouse Radio
Hey everybody, I'm back I'm joined with Max Spella, X-Way Z, and Dwight McClanahan Yeah, this is Street 3 Play, listen Hey, thanks Scott, man, you started for a long way I had to get my venison on Oh no, you're good, man So good Oh yeah?
Oh shit, man, you went and got you one of them reindeer and meat burgers?
I've had three of them today.
Oh my gosh.
And that's one over the limit that they'll sell you. How'd you get that?
Well, and then my wife had one too.
I went in the morning when they first opened.
I wasn't the first customer, but I was the first one through the drive-thru.
Ah, okay. I see.
Because fuck that standing around.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Oh my god this guy again and they said yeah we have 20 the manager said you have 20 left
they knew that so i was like oh yeah they're for tomorrow i was like oh okay cool but i
ain't up today don't wait for nobody yeah i got a problem
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I don't plan this shit.
Fuck planning a show.
Let's see what Nunu has for us to fail at.
F-Dad.
Cool.
Yeah, bitch.
Yeah, hey, how you doing?
Hello?
Yeah, can I speak with F-Dad?
This is Cross.
Cross who?
Cross Dad.
You talking about who are you?
I'm Cross Dad.
We're from, we're the same family.
I needed to talk to him.
I'm a cousin.
Oh.
Who?
I'm a cousin.
Oh.
No, you got the wrong number.
I'm the cousin.
I'm a cousin.
I'm the cousin who's the doctor
This is F Dad Brinsworth, Rotterham, Willowgarth Avenue
Aw man, cross dad, cross dad
Hello, we are not available now. Please leave your name and phone number
Hello? Hello? This dad?
Wee hee hee hoo hoo hee hee la la la la
Okay
Good job Nunu, good calls, yeah good numbers
You know he gave me um, Nunu gave me a number the other day, yesterday
Carlito Laugh Track Madhouse Live
We seem to have confused the hell out of him.
Like, he didn't know how to handle things.
We had a bunch of follow bots start going to town on him.
And he was sitting there, he was like, oh, thank you, thank you.
And he thought, yeah, well, he thought a bunch of people were now subbing to him.
And we told him that, you know, he was, he got shouted out over at TwitchCon.
Like, some guy on a panel fucking shouted him out, and that's why we were all there.
And so he's tripping out, not knowing how to handle it.
Of course, Firmus and the XYZ go into the guy's Discord and start telling him all this shit.
And he's half believing it, half thinking he's getting fucked with.
But, like, he's so sleep-deprived, he didn't know what was real and what wasn't.
And eventually, Rail Moose comes in and starts talking to the guy.
And the guy snaps and goes from, like, this goody-goody act to, like, straight fucking, like, trailer trash ghetto speak.
Like, he snapped out of his character and just went nuts.
Really?
Yeah, I'll have to send you the video. I recorded it.
That's all I'll tell you.
Yeah, RealMoose had no idea what was happening.
We just told him to go talk to this guy.
Like, he comes in to chat, and he's like, what the hell?
We were invoking his name.
Yeah, poor guy.
We're doing so much great advertising for him.
Hello?
Yeah, is that Diane?
Yes.
Hi, Diane. My name's Jake. I'm Susan's husband.
Do I know Susan?
We live in 152.
Okay.
All right, you're over there on P***, right?
Correct.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Get Your Wife All Ready For Sexy Time
All right, don't go anywhere. He needs to talk to you. He said he wanted to talk to you. All right, so don't go anywhere
Sorry, you have reached a number that has been he doesn't pay his number. He doesn't pay his bills
Apparently who else do you like you who else do you like that lives out here? I like everybody that lives out here
Oh, okay. All right. Look, hey, uh, i'm gonna let you go. Okay. Bye. No, I don't want you to let me go
Why not? Because because I want you to keep talking because because you're just making my night. Okay. All right
What are you wearing?
Oh, man, don't go there.
Come on, what are you wearing?
I'm wearing what?
What is it, underwear?
I'm wearing sports.
Are you going to pork your wife tonight?
Hello?
Hey, is that Carl?
Yeah.
Hey, Carl, how you doing, buddy?
Okay.
Oh, hey, I'm one of your neighbors.
What's the street?
Around the way, yeah, you know me?
I'm Jim.
No, I'm Jim.
I'm Jim.
I live on 105 Drive.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
santa claus
my name is cross
my name is cross my name is big cross
hi this is joanne
i cant take your call right now but if you give me a call back later or leave your number
and i will call you
yeah yeah joanne
yeah
okay that
i'm having sex with her
ever since marylin left
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
I didn't realize who was who, but I was trying to start shit between neighbors here.
Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice message.
Hey, horse.
What?
Can I play you a short clip?
That's when that young man snapped last night, sir.
Yes, sir.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Oh, thank you, sir.
He's a committed motherfucker.
Give this man some sleep, Papa Melatonin and his fucking juicy popper.
Okay, hold up.
One second, my fam.
I want you to look at this camera right now.
Bruh, I have fucking insomnia.
My ass will sit in front of this goddamn camera all motherfucking day every day if I got to if it does what I gotta do to get my ass on the front page of Twitch my ass will sit right the fuck here doing what the fuck I gotta do entertaining the people that I love that are my friends that enjoy sitting here looking at my ugly ass listening to the stupid shit that I say bruh so I'ma do me bruh so if this is a troll let it be a troll and this ain't sleep deprivation now this is real nigga shit for real like this is this is real so if you're gonna if you're gonna be about it be a
Madhouse Live
Here's another attempt at neighbor drama.
God damn it.
Damn it.
Hope you're all enjoying the show.
Everyone listening, participating.
Again, if you need to be away from your internet provider, internet connection, but you can get a good telephone connection going,
whether that's mobile or not, dial 1-605-475-0097.
7-6-0-5-4-7-5-0-0-9-7
There!
Still participate, listen to the show
with just like a two-second delay.
For the time being, I'm joined with AXPA
XYZ for the XYZ Show
and Dwight McClanahan is here also.
What's up?
Elmeria might be here too.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yeah, your grandma. Yeah, put her on.
Let me see if I can find her.
I love her fanny stories.
Good morning, Sir.
I say morning, Sir.
Yes.
The person you have dialed can't take your call now.
That's fine, I've got a different one to try right next door.
Hey, is that Gale?
Yes.
Gale, hey, my name is Cross.
I live on P*** Drive here with you.
Do you know Don and Shin?
Yes, well, I don't know. I'm not sure their address, but you know who I'm talking about, right? Yes
They were over here at my place just a few minutes ago and they said some really nasty things about you and Jim
Okay. Okay. They said that Jim and Gail that live on
Number 108 that they said that they catch you guys outside naked having sex all the time and making what is your name?
My name is cross my name is cross and where do you live I'm a nephew I'm in
love at 103 I'm a nephew of Dave just a minute please okay hello hey Jim yes hey
my name is cross I'm a nephew of Dave was at one number 103 yeah all right so
Don and Shin you know them to live a number yes we're next-door neighbors and
they were down here and there were stages left and they said some really
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I mean, I know them tangentially, you know, not really.
I mean, do you guys really have sex outside like that?
Why would...
Right.
And you're at 103?
Yeah, yeah.
You know, I don't want to have to go outside and see that, you know?
That she's... your wife is going... giving you the oral sex and you're giving her the oral sex, you know?
And your name again, please?
Cross, Cross.
And you are?
I'm Dave's cousin. No, nephew. Dave's nephew.
Dave's nephew. And are you at his house right now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I was masked.
May I speak with Dave?
No, no, because I don't want him to know that I've been smoking marijuana inside the room,
and he would end up coming in here, and he would smell it, and I'd get in a lot of trouble.
He'd have to send me back to my mom, you know?
Yeah, I tell you, I think you better call the police then.
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Oh no
See what happened is you accused him of it. You know, it was right now. He's upset that he's a kiss. He's lashing out
Yeah, we're trying to reverse switch swash
See if
Don and shin
I think these last people called give did you really go let's see if my uncle picks up my supposed
hello hey Dave how you doing I'm uh giving you a call uh do you know Don and Shiva they live
out down there on 105 next uh yeah I've talked to Don once in a while yeah um he was over here
Crass
I'm a nephew of Jim and Gail, across the way, I'm number 108, you know them?
Uh, I think so.
Alright, so we're kind of across the street, like one floor down.
Uh, Dave, uh, Don and Shin were over here and they were talking about how they saw you
and your wife having sex outside.
They said that you're one of the worst sexes.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Lose This Number
Full
Boyz XM
Full
He's a motherfucker right?
He doesn't eat that stuff
He's like I want bologna I want mash potato
Gingergross Silver Lake this is Sammy
Hey do you guys have Full?
Do we have what?
Full, Full?
Yeah, yeah we do
Okay I want a full goddammit
You want a full? What kind of full do you want?
I want a hot full with uh water, hot water
With hot water?
Yeah
And like a little bit of uhh
Some shit?
Bee Sprout
Bee Sprout
And a little bit of
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
What's that do? I want new soup. I want my new soup now.
Okay, well, next time you can come in in person and you can tell us the problem.
No, I want you to tell me for sure that I'm going to have a new soup. I want a new soup, I said.
Hello.
Hi, hey, how are you?
Hello.
How are you?
Hi.
Okay.
Okay, are you Vietnamese?
Hmm.
Are you Vietnamese?
What?
Okay.
What are you doing?
Okay.
All right.
All right, then.
Okay, then.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
And she's a vegan, and many people are, so servers should specifically listen to these requests.
Because she almost took...
You're reading out of the yoke.
No, no, this really happened. She almost took a bite of the chicken.
Yeah, and how can I help you right here?
Yeah, well, my mother told the server of this mistake, and he said he'd change it, and by the time everyone finished their food, the soup wasn't even here, so we just canceled the order.
You're reading off yoke.
No, I'm not.
Can I help you with anything?
Listen, then I came, then the check came, and you still charged us for the soup, but it was discounted.
He knows his Yelp shit.
It's one of those places where they make a big deal.
Oh man, I gotta know everything about my Yelp.
Let's try the Blossom, same idea.
Shit, this was in New York City, oh shit.
Thank you for calling Blossom Restaurant, located at 187 9th Avenue, 21st and 22nd Street, in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan.
We serve organic, vegan food and our kosher shirts are transforming too.
Extension 5-0-0.
One moment, please.
Yeah, listen, you guys are, you know, I had a real bad experience there.
Oh, I'm sorry, what happened?
First of all, you're an overpriced vegetarian place.
The service there was just average.
We ordered the three main entrees, the Moroccan, the rigatoni, the blossom benedict shit,
which is, you know, in the brunch menu.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
laugh
construction noise nearby was killing me the whole time
it will be a can't control the construction well that's bullshit and
you need to make some changes over there
how will never go back on as you fix this for me right now how are free food
right now
on free for life
one and one one
I don't want a different one.
That was a two-star review and they weren't really complaining.
What a bunch of dicks.
Here's a one-star.
Beef noodle?
Yeah, how do you not have any garnish with your pho?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
No beansprout, no beansprout, no hoisin sauce.
What'd you say? What are you talking? I'm talking.
What?
Okay. I've never been to any place that's...
Stop talking when I'm talking. Quiet.
Well, now he's permanently quiet.
I'll pick up. Man, I can go...
This is Viet, new to bar, hot water.
Ass water. Foils.
This is Viet, new to bar, hot water.
He's like, I don't give a shit, don't ever come.
No fun, how can I help you?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm sorry, I don't have time right now.
You have a wonderful day.
If you have a complaint, just go ahead and write a review.
Have a wonderful day.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I don't have time for this.
Listen, the first thing, the ox still full.
Shut up, dog.
I will block your number.
Well, I'll make it work anyway.
Motherfucker, I can fix that.
You want to start with me?
Let's do this.
50 minutes left. Oh man, I'm not gonna make it.
Yeah, hey, how you doing? Alright, alright. I'll stop, I'll stop.
Dude, that Uber Eats shit is expensive. I wouldn't review that. Even if they had it where I lived, I wouldn't get that shit.
Thank you for calling Fussbag Unplugged. How can I help you?
Oh, hey, you decided to pick up, huh?
Well, we've been busy. Is there anything I can help you with?
Well, yeah, listen, I got some pho, some pho.
Okay.
Okay, and this is not acceptable.
What's wrong with the food?
Well, listen, when I start seeing bowls of pho go for $12 or more,
like, my stomach starts to get a little uneasy, first of all.
Okay.
All right, now, I'm used to getting my bowls of food down in OC, where they go for like $7, $8, okay?
And when you start to, like, I know you've got to factor in the location of your place, you know, on Fairfax, but you can, you know, I can understand the hefty price there, but even then, it's a little ridiculous if you ask me, don't you agree?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Yeah, you were just trying to defuse the situation, you know, by seducing her
You there still? She came back
Oh shit
You're good
Oh man
We're gonna get pho at 9.16pm
Pho
Pho
Yeah, some good pho
You hear the way she's like, first of all, our pho
Yeah, she pronounced it right
Any other ideas? Cause if I can't think of something else, I think I'm gonna call it quits
I can get you some numbers real quick. Let me look through my list of stuff. Give me one second
I have like an archive of like the last two years of numbers. So hold on
New says UK. Well, do you have numbers?
Pizzas take away and Dudley has rats in the kitchen. That's the one you were talking about
I'm here. I'm here. Just scanning. Here we got some neighborish kind of people.
Hey, is that Rich? Hey, Rich. My name is Cross. I'm Neil next door.
Uh-huh.
12. You're on 114, right?
Yes, yes.
Yeah, he, um, we were just, we've been drinking a little bit, and he was telling me that, um, I guess he sees you and Hannah sometimes naked.
Naked?
Yeah, like doing sex, sex things.
I don't think so.
The window he says he's seen you naked like maybe when you take a shower
Now which side are you talking about with you know Neil, right? Huh? You know Neil Neil
one for one one 12 or 114
Nobody lives there right now. No. Well, I mean he's been staying there like no one really knows but he's
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by Kris Brandhagen.com
No, I just um, I got an email from Hannah. She sent me an email from
aol.com
And what's your name? Your name is cross. I'm neil
You know, that's you I guess people next door and she sent pictures that had like her
Sexual organs, you know, like she's like hey
Neil look at my sexual parts like that. No, I think
I want to see them. Okay. I want to see her sexually
I think you're a little bit crazy, and if we get a call from you again, we'll be calling the Anderson Police Department.
I want to see Hyena's sexual organs.
Yeah, creepy. Creepo.
That's not creepy. That's normal.
Normal stuff.
Hey, you're just getting people ready for Dwight's show to get them in the right state of mind.
Yeah.
That's true. They will be.
The juice is flowing.
That is how it goes.
Yeah.
That disgusting show.
Dwight, leave the call to get ready.
I think he's getting ready usually it's like an hour to menstruate I mean meditate uh we could
call back on them Arby's burgers right I have the underutilized expo and uh xyz oh yeah yeah
definitely I love I love calling Arby's they're the best they place custom orders for me all the
time do they really oh yeah I asked them to take off the take the bun out and the uh meat and
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Anglewood Unit 329, we are located at 930-
Wow, they're really busy.
Okay.
San Anglewood, this is the beach.
Thank you for calling Arby's.
Hey, God bless you, man. How you doing?
I'm trying to get an order for one of those venison burger, or not burgers, sandwiches, right?
It's sold out.
What the fuck? Are you kidding me?
It's sold out this morning.
Oh my god, dude. I read on Reddit just now.
I was on the subreddit, the Arby's subreddit, and they were telling me about it.
Come on, you gotta have one more. Can you look, please?
Oh, dude, it sold out.
No, this isn't fair. That's not fair.
How am I supposed to get it then?
There's only a lot of Arby's.
How am I supposed to get it? I want to go to your Arby's to get it.
Why is that? Why don't you have any?
Because it sold out. It was really popular right away.
This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous.
You know, what's your name? I want your name. Hold on.
Hey.
Yeah?
Yeah, what's your name?
what's your name what Trevor Trevor all right Trevor you're going to be held personally
responsible here okay all right now now now I know your name okay so you need to get me one of
these uh sandwiches okay we don't have any you need to find you got there has to be one left I
want you to go look right now go look in the back room in the freezer and everything and go check
I'm sorry sir we don't have any more sandwiches this is ridiculous I mean I I'm I'm just dumbfounded
I'm going to get I'm going to conference in my lawyer on the phone cross and everything and we're going to have a discussion here because it says in the advertisement you know available today only and it's still today and it's not available and that's that's a direct I don't think I can help you I'm sorry no you lied in your advertisement then you lied.
We didn't make the ads. Corporate made the ads. There's nothing else to do to help.
Yeah, you, Trevor, personally lied to me.
We don't have any more sandwiches. I'm sorry.
This is ridiculous.
Ridiculous. Ridiculous.
Oh, my gosh. Wow, they're popular over there on the West Coast, aren't they?
They sure are. Actually surprising.
Yeah, I'm surprised, too.
Some of these say they're closed already, even on the West Coast at 630 on a Saturday.
Okay.
How about we call San Francisco with this pearly gates?
AXPA you want to do one sir oh sure yeah yeah AXPA should do one make a harassing phone call
yeah yeah oh facts we're good trying a different one this one's real close to where Milkman lives
yeah has an 800 number i'm not calling that rb says 800 numbers geez different one AXPA still
has it it's uh further up north uh up at the west coast here uh sure seattle why not rb's in
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
All right, I identify as three people so I'll be in there
I'll come and get my six burgers the venison's where the venison's come from a deer
The ones out in the desert there. Yeah, you ever seen a deer in the desert
Yeah, exactly where they come from. That is not a deer in the desert
Where the seeds from where they get the seeds from the reindeer seeds right from all Santa over there up in the North Pole
I'm Josh and with your kid listen I'll be over there get my six burgers for my
three identified people's I'll see you there in a little while right man no yeah
yeah you'll give one to each one of my boys here and I'll come through drop
through again we'll get the other to the other ones it'll be good yeah all right
All right, yeah, you'll see you'll see you'll see my three heads to you
Yeah, I'll show you my downstairs head if you want to see yeah, God get me some of that reindeer meat
Now that's it man, you've been a treat yeah, you too, baby
Try to keep him on there you go
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Oh wow you will great
Wow great yes
Really
You just want to throw those all out
I want to get them the fuck out of there
This is the first time I've had a Filipino actually understand
What peck peck means
I've asked Filipino people like no I've never heard of that
She knows
Cool peck peck good times
Yeah so I'm going to wrap it up then guys
I think I did my job
Everyone's just going to have to
Stick around for 20 minutes
Madhouse Live
TuneIn Radio is now streaming again as well as Shoutcast 605-475-0097
Again 605-475-0097
And listen to the show 24-7, 365
Discord.gg slash pranks for chatting
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It's the hijink server
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That's my place to follow
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Where you can donate and help support this show
And keep it running
Okay see you guys
Next time
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