Horse Resurrection (Pranksgiving 2017)
23 Nov 2017 · 5 h 5 min · 23,283 words · source
Transcript
You use words like dick and pussy, so sorry it don't happen here. Just whack off at home. I'm sorry
Call me honey
You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
and call it blue dog shit you don't mean I don't care just don't let me catch
you doing this again catch me infringement insists I don't like these
words as much as please thank you I'm sorry to bother you Nikki these are
better words you come to my motherfucking club without him faking
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Maybeth of the evening and those in attendance and beds watching around the line.
Thank you for calling Digger's Hotline. This is Steve. How can I help you?
Hey, how you doing there, Big Digger?
Fine.
Light
Got a problem here, I accidentally killed the family dog during Thanksgiving dinner
and I need to bury it quick for the kids to find out what happened and the wife finds
out what happened, I'm just gonna say the dog ran away, uhm but I guess I'm suppose
to call before I dig or some stuff like that.
Um yes you are
Okay
Uh but this is on my property, I do what I want
Are you wanting to file a ticket
Well, how deep do I have to go until I hit fiber lines?
I don't have that information in the state of Wisconsin.
You're required to call us any time you break the soil.
Any time I break the soil, I'm supposed to call you?
And what do you do? You look on a map?
Would you like to file a ticket?
Well, yeah, yeah, but listen, I don't...
Is this anonymous? Because I don't want any shit that the dog died, alright?
I fed it the wishbone and it, you know...
Sure, just hang on one...
And I didn't like the fucking dog anyway because it was from my wife's ex-boyfriend
Mark
Wushbun
This is what I feel about it.
It's Thanksgiving.
and I've been drinking!
I kinda gather.
What have you been doing?
You had nice turkey dinner?
I'm at work so that'd be no.
That's too bad.
Do you have family?
Let me transfer you out and you can do a ticket.
Alright honey baby.
Mr. No friends no family.
Sitting at work instead of at home.
Forever alone.
Lone machine.
I'm gonna have to get a new one.
You want some turkey you come over here I got some turkey you know this is a recorded line this science recorded too
So what so what this is a recorded line too, sir. What's gonna happen? What's gonna happen? What do you mean?
What did I do that was so wrong? I am supposed to call before I dig you came to my house
You come to my house. Yeah, I don't like these words that are coming out of your mouth
Ever alone, you know calling diggers hotline. This is Tom. How may I help you? Hey, how you doing? Uncle Tom?
What can I do for you today?
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Call Nation Madhouse Live
How far deep do I own the soil?
What's my domain here?
I can't answer that question.
You're saying that I only, you know, I only control, like, what, one inch of the soil?
I do not know the answer to that question, sir.
Do I have to call before I dig a little ditch in the yard and take a shit in it and take a piss in it?
That would be required by state law.
Well, no.
No, forget it, then.
No.
I'm going to dig right now.
And I want all those...
What's back here?
What's back here?
You get all these cables out of here.
Put a ticket in to get all the cables out.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm going to dig all I want back here too, just to let you know.
You're saying it's some kind of state crime? I don't give a shit. I'm doing what I want.
I can't stop you, sir.
Well, I'm putting in a pool. My own hand-built pool.
How far down should I dig in order to properly dispose of a dog carcass?
I cannot answer that question.
Well, you're the digging line. Come on. Come on, man.
Come on, help me out. You gotta fucking help me out, man.
Is there anything else I can do for you today?
No, no. Go get bent, alright?
Alright. Thank you for calling Digger's Hotline.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm sorry dude I thought I didn't know stupid asshole do it anyway do it again bitch asshole I'm not starting another 24 all right be quiet be quiet be quiet echo all right this is where you need to be quiet echo how much time remaining you have one time with about 23 hours and 59 minutes left well that you heard that no wait that's how much time is left
Prank Giving 2017
Prank Giving 2017
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
uh... we had my world my world-famous spinach dip
uh... should determine what else we had a lot to we had a ton of food
went by the beans
uh... we had brussels sprouts that were roasted the chemo man it was a great
time
it was here at the crack he was here the carlito
yeah
out of the head
so there's no time for salad milkman
the mother-in-law was like the mother-in-law was asking us you want us to
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project
10 pounds for $60 dude man
pretty big man
but it's fried it's a fried turkey
you gotta look at it like this
if you count it at $60
am I gonna get 6 meals out of it
I'm gonna get more than 6 meals out of it
a meal at a restaurant
a fucking bullshit restaurant
is gonna cost you $10 anyway
I'm gonna have nutritional excellent quality food
for my next 6 meals
so the way I look at it
it was a good investment
a couple years ago I did this
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Call me on shalcast now let's get a massage therapist job here in fukin where is this
in guam ok cool guam and a big thank you to park man for getting numbers for us we're
going to have incoming calls coming in tonight thanks courtesy to uh the producer from the
dwight mclanahan show hello hey honey baby how you doing hey lizz i see you got a job
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Shhhhhh!
How dare she.
Thank you.
Very nasty.
Does everyone agree with her?
Let's just wrap it up then.
That is not a funny prank call.
I thought it was funny.
Dude, I think she sounded interested man, but there was a customer there and she didn't
say anything.
I think you oughta call her back in about an hour.
Maybe.
Put it on the big board and maybe we'll do that.
Alright.
Yeah.
Alright, motherfucker.
Alright, so.
Everybody.
Real quick.
Let's get these, uh, let me get some information out for all the people regarding what's going
Prankdose.com
Be sure to follow me on Twitter, Madhouse, that's at Madhouse on Twitter, rather, and Facebook, Madhouse.live.
Again, that's Madhouse.live on Facebook, Madhouse on Twitter.
Patreon.com forward slash Madhouse helps support my show machine.
We just ask, if you can, a minimum $1 Patreon donation will get you access to that Dropbox.
That's all you got to do, $1, and you'll be able to listen.
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Milkman
Donate a little bit over to Dwight. I do not have the particulars for that, but Dwight is accepting donations to help him pay for Christmas for his kid and his niece. I don't know what the particulars are, but I'm sure I'll be able to get that for you later. He'll be joining here hopefully around the second half of the show. And of course, the other shows when he goes for his shift, you'll probably be giving that out. That's tomorrow afternoon. Okay, let's get to the schedule again.
24 hours of live prank calls all times eastern
you've got us here me milkman for the first six hours we're going on from now
up until 4 a.m. eastern standard time that's 1 p.m. Pacific at that point
incredible hours of entertainment yes that's right and we do a good job
usually it's good usually it's a good job that we do here Thanksgiving is
always fun pranks giving rather is always fun I've been 12 years we've been
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation
11 a.m. Eastern 5 a.m. until 8 a.m. Pacific Super Foam Brothers be sure to tune in for that following that you'll have the XYZ show XYZ and I believe he has some help from Firmus and some others are going to be helping him out he'll be doing the the late morning to afternoon shift he starts at 11 a.m. Eastern and goes for two hours until 1 p.m. Eastern that is 8 a.m. till 12 11 10 10 a.m. Eastern
Pacific Standard Time
XYZ Show
Dwight McClanahan
Dwight the Janitor Show
1pm-4pm
Eastern Standard Time
3 hours show
1pm-4pm
Matt Hillock
Big Zax
Party Time
4pm-8pm
1pm-5pm
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Calls of Mass Confusion
Calls the Madhouse Confusion Show
I believe we have a video
that's going to be available for that
kind of like we did two years ago
so I'm kind of excited about that
I'm sure he'll might be able to join in
on our second half
so around 3 a.m.
I
around 3
no
11 12 1
around 1 1 30 a.m.
we're going to open up
for guests to start joining in
for the first half
it'll be just me and Milkman here
we're trying to stretch things out a little bit
all right
so that's all the plugs for Pranksgiving
and you'll be able to tune in here
Prank Call Nation
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Do you have your cigar?
Uh, no, dude.
I can't smoke inside this place.
You crazy?
No bong?
No bong?
No, you know, a pen.
I got a pen for my diabetes pen.
All right, you're allowed to vaporize it.
I put my insulin in and I vaporize it, you know?
It helps the skin.
Very good.
I need it for the cataracts.
Here's yaya for child.
I don't know what yaya means.
What's a yaya?
Yaya for child.
Let's find out.
This is in Guam Machine.
Hello?
Hi.
Is this the yaya?
Hello?
Yeah, I see an ad here in the pepa for yaya for child. Yeah, what does that mean? Is that like a babysitter?
Yeah, that is and you're looking for one. Yeah. All right, cuz I like I'm like I'm a punisher, you know
You're what I punish I punish the child. I say, oh, I don't need to punish. No, but I say just no don't do that
Time out time out time out time, you know, and I put them in time out. I yeah, I know
I piss and shit in their food so that they know they did a bad thing
Sorry, what?
I shit and piss in the food so that they know they did a bad thing too, you know?
Okay, that's ridiculous.
And I need to speak Tagalog? I can speak that.
Like this.
Like that, right?
Yes.
Great call, great call everybody.
Doofus.
Just trying to call back.
I doubt she'll pick up.
That was retarded.
Tagalog.
Tagalog.
Tagalog.
It's not Tagalog.
Tagalog.
Tagalog.
I said Tagalog.
Fucking ignorant.
I'm an ignorant, dude. Fucking ignorant spik. I'm an ignorant spik. I'm a dirty Puerto Rican, man.
Yo, this Eddie. Yo, I speak Tagalog, yo.
I love whiskey, man.
Hi, this is Yurina. Sorry, I can't take...
This is Yurina.
Yurina? Dude, what a horrible name.
Yurina.
Yurinal.
This is Yurina.
I'm gonna put an L on the end and she'll become a urinal.
Her nickname is Cake.
Alright.
Oh, really?
All right, female masseuse you wanted. Let's do it. Let's get some more feet. Let's get feces massage, man
I got my mom stuffed up from that KFC chicken. I should not have had it. You say was Cajun Cajun turkey
Was it was it carved already for you? Or was it by the
Whole turkey. No, fuck that. They need to carve it for you for 59 fucking dollars
I don't want Barbie dry this place juicy and ready. I make a car it for you right there
I don't know that's you can put juice on it. You put juice
Carve it and you throw it in a bag.
Put some juice in before you eat it.
You shake out the bag.
It's really pretty dry, dude.
White people make some...
Please leave a message. I'll return your call as soon as possible.
White people make some dry-ass fucking turkey.
I'll tell you what, man.
The inside's moist. The outside, where the skin is,
is dry and crispy.
Yeah, it's fried.
Fried chicken is delicious, man.
Like a fried chicken.
Fried turkey is the best turkey
The best turkey I've ever had in my life is fucking fried turkey you kidding me oh my god yeah yeah dude great dude it's really good it tastes like fried turkey man I swear to god it's pretty darn good it's the juiciest turkey you can get at Fry's I could have bought a regular turkey for 20 more dollars from this place this is better this is better you gotta watch out for that Safeway man they're uh suing Brad Carter so
J.J. Global Service
How may I help you?
Is this Janitor Machine?
Uh, hello?
Yeah, is this the Janitor Machine place?
Uh, J.J. Global Service?
Yeah, do you do janitoring?
Yes, we do.
Alright, I need to have my toilet janitorized as soon as possible.
Toilet.
Well, I mean, alright, so what happened, you know, Thanksgiving, I don't know, do you people have Thanksgiving here?
Uh, I'm on the base.
Are you on Guam?
Yeah, I'm on the base.
Okay, okay.
I just I just shut up for a second. I just got stationed here. Right. So I got you. Excuse me. I said, please. Did I say I'm sorry. I didn't say please. Please. Can I explain? I mean, I'm bothering. I'm sorry. I mean, OK, go ahead. All right. Go ahead. So, I mean, I just got stationed here. I don't know how you people operate, you know, but I was using I had a pretty big dinner.
I went to Kentucky Fried Chicken on the base, KFC, and they had a $59 turkey dinner, fried Cajun turkey, fucking shit, and I ate, it's a 10 pound turkey. Did you go? Because I said a bad word? What's wrong? Fucking girl. Jesus Christ.
I'm military, obviously I'm going to curse. He needs to chill out. I doubt he'll pick up the phone now. I had a whole story.
He's like, this sounds like it's a lot of shit to clean up, I don't want to do it.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Horse Machine Command
Horse Machine Command
Duty Number
Number 2
Yeah it was a number 2 duty
And what base sir?
What base? Horse Machine Base
Yes
Horse Machine Ranch Base
It's HMRC Base
The HMRC Base
Okay can I just get your number sir and then I can
bring this up for my general
Well I mean you need to
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Foundation
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Can I get your number so I can call you back?
Well, I mean, come on.
I mean, I'll give it to you, but are you not going to tell anyone?
Because basically you need to fix the toilet so that it can flush all the way.
That's none of my business, sir.
Well, there's heroin.
It's floating.
The heroin's floating in the toilet in the room.
You know?
You know what I mean?
Well, he's done.
I'm done with this idea.
I'm done.
Don't come in.
I'm done talking about drugs.
Duty number two.
I'm saying, motherfucker, number two, duty.
I know I'm trying to figure out where the hell is where he's from dude where they got like number three or number four they got options
they uh they defecate different those people have different types of defecation
is that the one where they got a little hole in the floor and two little footprints in front
yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what uh what Dirty Aaron was explaining Dirty Aaron wasn't spent
some time in China and he said yeah yeah yeah I asked he said he'd always go in his uh hotel but
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Kudrow
It's not alien to you
Japanese people
Shitting rice bowls
We're talking China
Hey is this auto mechanics
Yes it is
That's good
Thank you
I need you guys to mechanic my auto
Okay
Call Nation Madhouse Live
lichman
the car it does it doesn't go what it
doesn't go honey the car broken car
broken doesn't go you know you go get
getting a man shit they have a second
number I'm gonna call it what does she
have a problem with men I understand
yeah what is the problem with men I mean
there's nothing wrong with that they're
half of the world hey if I buddy have
heard anything from my requested
The request from earlier?
From Jen Stewart?
He said he was going to try to make it.
I haven't heard from him.
He said he might wake up early, so he would join us in that second part of the show.
Because he's got a five-hour difference, you know?
I think we're going to a fax machine.
Hello?
Hello?
Yeah, hi.
I need to have the car fixed.
Hello?
I need to have a car fixed.
Hello?
Hello?
Yes, sir.
I need to have the car machine fixed, honey.
Is the man there yet?
Can I give you a number that you can why why can you just not can you transfer me or like hello?
What was what's your name? Yeah, can I give you a number? Yeah, they're on the line now, honey
Okay, they're on the line now. Hello stupid. Hello. God damn it. Why didn't you want you called her private number?
What's I don't know more personal more personal service
They're not cooperating they're not cooperating understand
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Cartel
well i mean why would i tell you you're a woman and you don't know how the car
make
the car makes go you know the car doesn't go my car doesn't work
carb bad bad carb bad no go car
car stock you know okay I'm
best if you leave it there and they can figure one moment
hurry up you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna take a shit here
is what I'm gonna do inside the office and i take a big shit my ID is spoofed
Call Nation Madhouse Live
How much time remaining, bitch?
Echo, how much time remaining?
You have one timer, a 24-hour timer with about 23 hours and 22 minutes left.
A lot of time left.
Here's another trick I wanted to show you guys.
That's why I invited Alexa to join us tonight.
Echo, play Madhouse Prank Call Radio on TuneIn.
Madhouse Prank Call Radio from TuneIn.
She thinks a crazy guy's in there and is going to take a shot.
Stop.
See, there you go.
You can listen on your Amazon device.
B-A-Z-L-R-Y-H-T-A-T-O-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-G-A-T-E-T-S-O-S-M-A-C-K-E-A-T-E-T-E-D-S-O-W-I-C-T-A-T-E-T-R-A-L-S-R-A-T-E-N-G-S-Y-A-N-O-T-H-A-L-V-O-B-L-E-C-A-T-E-T-E-S-O-C-H-A-J-T-A-T-A-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-R-A-T-E-T-S-O-C-H-A-N-E-N-G-A-T-E-T
I don't like that we're gonna have to move on that number broken okay yeah I'm doing his numbers now my man we're good we're doing Parkman numbers man no no I'm talking I'm talking I'm talking about the other guy we're not talking about Parkman sir uh exchange student boarding okay you board the exchange student you know I'm talking about yeah wink wink nudge nudge you stuffer this is an average show so far average
Hello, is that exchange student boarding?
Yeah, I'd like to board a female student.
Yeah, I want to board her.
I want to board her.
Hey, how you doing, Gay?
Good, good.
Nice to meet you, Gay.
Shut up.
I want to board a female student.
Yeah, I want to introduce you.
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
T-G-R-I-C-H T-G-R-I-C-H
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
The Bullshit Government
Horse Machine Ranch
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
That's not a number I was asking for an age do they do they have hair down there
Do they have hair down there, you know one bad down, you know one bad down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, okay. Yeah, so they have hair so they can you know be naked that's fine. Yeah
Naked women coming here sing with me
Naked girl coming here, you know sing that song go ahead
The Vagina
What way does the Chinese girl's vagina go?
Does it go up and down or left or right?
The vagina, you know the sexual organ of the woman?
Does it go up and down or left to right?
You don't know how a vagina goes? You've never seen one?
Well, you don't know how it goes, a vagina?
It's a technical, it's a medical question.
It's not, you know, sexual or nothing.
I just don't know how you people are.
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
You know, check it out.
You were maybe the homestay fancied to see if it's...
I muted him.
He's fucking...
You're fucking pissing me off.
Yeah?
Yeah.
He's pissing me off, this guy.
I got him muted.
Yeah.
We have to be very careful.
I muted him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You need to be careful, all right?
You know, watch out, buddy.
You know?
You know, watch out for me.
All right.
Look, I gotta let you go.
You're really pissing me off, all right?
Go to hell, all right?
You bring shame to your family and to your mother.
Your mother must be very embarrassed of you.
I feel sorry for your mother.
I don't think so.
Yeah you bring a lot of shame to your family.
Okay?
No.
Yes you do, you bring shame.
Shame on you.
No don't.
Yeah you do that buddy.
What's that? What?
Hello sir?
Yeah hello, hello, hi!
Is this AC technician?
So do you need to stop calling over here or else I'm going to turn your number into the party?
Is this AC technician?
You called the first time for toilet bowl now you're calling for an AC.
You're just messing around sir.
This is the toilet people?
Hey, are you there, Taiwanese guy?
Yeah.
Huh?
Oh, hey, Gary.
Hey, Gary, can you just wait with me on the phone, okay?
Just for a minute.
I've got to make another phone call.
I want to get to the bottom of this, you know?
I want to talk about the girls and the sex and their vaginas, okay?
Yeah, we're going to talk.
We're working on it.
No, no, it's not.
Right.
but we don't but it's just natural you know you don't think sex is a natural thing we're sorry
this person is not available right sex is natural not the right time well when is the right time
when is the right time the weekend maybe yeah thank you for your call okay interesting the
i am yeah we we will go through our procedure okay if you are interested all right do do the
The girls, what is it like when they go to the bathroom to do pee-pee?
What is it like?
What does it sound like?
I'm just curious what it sounds like.
Does it sound like this right here?
It sounds like this.
You know?
Oh, well, that was yesterday.
That was yesterday.
This is what it sounds like when the girls go pee-pee, you know?
Thank you very, very much.
We're sorry.
This person is...
Bye.
Bye, Gary.
The pissing guy, Gary.
Closed Captioning by Kris Brandhagen.com
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I can't say that yeah right he's bringing those poor girls over the little vaginas and stuff oh my god yeah yeah horrible shit right there god damn the pissing one he goes when I said what does it sound like when they're pissing
He's like, he's like, look you freak, I don't want to hear your shit, we're done.
Give all these demonstrations what you want to do, and the pockets are on with the guy.
He didn't even fucking bat an eye, dude.
I'm telling you, if you're interested, go to our first teacher.
I'm getting a lot of people answering now, and that really makes me angry.
Holy shit.
Yeah, he just, he was game, he's like, whatever, sure, well, if you're still interested.
I'll start you so busy now, please try your call again later.
That's a warm country right there.
I know. I know, man. I know exactly what's going on.
It's insane. He was, yeah.
Anyway, what are we at here? It's 11.14. We're about an hour and a quarter in right now.
I don't know. You think he's really just pimping him out? You really think that's the whole thing? Pimping him out?
Yeah. He didn't get as upset as I thought. He didn't like the fact that I was bringing up the whole Taiwanese, you're not China thing.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Good work dude
We have several people who donated on Patreon
I want to thank you guys
I'll give you guys a shout out in a minute
Yeah
Yeah hey how you doing baby
Hey my name is Cross
I see you got a purchasing and receiving clerk job
Yeah Carl
That's it
Yeah
Okay
I guess there's a Carl in receiving
Let's find out
Yeah
hey baby
Here we are waiting, you know pranks giving I got a piece whoo, but I'm supposed to hold it for other
Four forty-five minutes. Fuck that I'm gonna play a prank and take a peepee we can play some Bruno
That was a Thanksgiving thing Bruno right madhouse
The madhouse bank before it was pranks giving it was the madhouse
Thanksgiving specials
Big Bruno
Big Fat Carl
I gotta go urinate
and get some more ice
from my whiskey here
from my scotch
so I'm gonna play a little bit of that
Milkman you hang on butter
I'll be right give me a few minutes
I'm gonna take care of the urination
Hey stupid how you doing
Good thank you
Let's talk about my reservations
and you people screwed up for the third time again
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I don't know what happened, I don't know what happened, sir.
What is it? I want you to pay me. I'm trying. I've been trying. As I said, I to help you. Okay, but I want to I want to say first of all, listen to me, sir. I want to say that I'm sorry that I called you monkey. I said bad things. I'm sorry. Please. I just need help. Please. I had a panic attack. I have your name. I need your reservation. I need to make a reservation. Please. Peace. Peace. Be on you. Please. Peace. Peace. Okay. Peace. Between me and you.
I ask you to rain down your presence right now upon myself and what's your name?
What is your name, please?
Bruno
Lord, I ask you that you rain down your patience between myself and Brother Bruno
That we can both come to an accord and be peaceful as Christian men
And together resolve this issue without coming to insults and being angry
In his name, Lord, we praise
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit
Okay, I'm sorry, Brother
Okay, my name is Valente
Okay
Okay when when did you when was supposed to be the reservation over a month ago I made it over a month ago my stupid wife and I told her you I said to her make the stupid reservation you get the stupid damn confirmation number and the stupid woman the stupid woman Bruno I'm telling you I I'm I I'm not a violent man but I came so close to slapping her right in the face right in the face but I didn't do a milkman milkman and Bruno because I am not a violent man.
I am not that kind of man. I will never hurt a woman, but son of a bitch, Bruno, sometimes it's women.
I need just one thing just to understand. You had the reservation for last month?
I made it last month.
That's correct.
I made it last month.
You made it last month?
Damn it! I made it last month for now.
All right, I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. Got my ice on here, and let's continue the show.
Yes, I am.
All right. Nail tech. Well, you got to be Asian to do that, Milkman.
You should be able to apply for this job.
Do you have to have a gut?
Do you have to have a check for the gut?
Do you need a background check for a nail gut?
Nail gut.
What about a bump stop?
How are these?
Hey, is this the...
You have a job for nail tech?
I'm sorry?
You have a job for a nail technician?
Nail tech?
Yeah, are you getting on my job polish?
Well, I see that you have a job for nail tech.
A job.
Hiring.
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Let's get over
I've been drinking. I just want to I just want to know if I get to touch the girls hands and feet
I will now that I talk to you
Yeah, let's call that second number what he's
turkey gravy turkey turkey gravy beef and bologna
ah chit man
ba ba ba ba ba ba we'll be taking a break here in about 30 minutes 30 minutes until break number one
you have reached a voice mailbox start
oh that's nice that's convenient it doesn't give out the number you don't always get that that's a help
where's that little buddy homer bud
sleeping man
creeping
hello how are you i'd like to make an appointment
excuse me
i'd like to make a little appointment
I have the wrong number
I think you have the wrong number
I'll just turn you on to the cops for sexual harassment
I'm sorry but you got another thing coming buddy
And I know who you are
So if you wanna do all these nasty subverted stuff
Go call somebody else
Who am I or go to the massage party? Who am I? Who do you think I am? Tell me I command you I command you
sexual harassment
Milkman has sexual harassment. She's gonna fucking call the president on your ass motherfucker wait
Fuck do I care fucker? I'm gonna change my caller ID and spoof her up. See how she likes them apples
Real quick real quick real quick milkman be quiet for a second milkman quiet when they give a thanks to
several people who have
Donated to patreon.com forward slash madhouse
We got Big Joe, Big Wasted Memory, and Big Liz
Have all donated, especially Big Joe who is a horse now
Welcome to the horse
Welcome to the horse machine, Big Joey
Alright, thanks to all three of you for supporting Madhouse tonight
Let me set that caller ID spoofing thing that we do here
Brought to you by people like those who donate and support Madhouse Radio Machine
I'm a big fat german bitch
Milkman how much of that turkey did you eat
Hello hi
It's me
Are you bored or what
I'm calling from the other phone
What do you want
I want to masturbate the girls hands and feet
Well you're going to go to fucking PI or some shit
Well no I want to come to you
Sorry it don't happen here
Just whack off at home
No, no, no, I don't want to masturbate myself. I just want to touch the feet and hands, you know and masturbate those
I like to touch the
Honestly, I've finished a 12-pack of
Corona light and where's all your friends all my friends. They're gone. They're gone. They're gone. How do you guys know who I am?
How's it awesome? That's why you're fucking bored, right?
Yeah, you're fucking drunk and you're all alone. So you want to go around?
My friend Milkman's here. Milkman, tell her. You're here, right? You're my friend.
See?
See, I'm not alone, you dumb bitch. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
Yeah, I said that, right?
You're deaf also, apparently?
Okay, she got me, Milkman. She got me. Yeah. Big time.
I deserve that, I guess.
He calls you, man. He says, fuck you.
Shit, dude.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
seen a lot of shit
all right so
jobs in hawaii now we got a photo girl for wanted photografer wanted
yeah
see if they pick up now
This is Prank Capitalism
ス Daar
You got photographer wanted
You got a photographer wanted
Okay
Alright nudes only
Okay, I said yeah. How you doing?
This is cross you need to get out speakerphone
I can't hear you.
Okay.
Jackass.
Can you hear me now?
Yeah, now I can.
Thank you.
Anyway, fucking Milkman over there and shit.
Yeah, hey, you got jobs for photographers?
I do, I do.
You do, you do.
All right, good, good.
What can I tell you?
You want qualifications?
Yeah, to help.
All right.
I like to tuck myself tightly under the covers so things can get me.
I cup water in my hands from the shower, then dump it all out like a giant waterfall.
I like to do that.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Door closes and bam, I'm naked.
Where do you live? What part of the island?
I live on Papipi Road.
Okay.
You know where Ewa Beach is?
Ewa?
Ewa?
Oh, okay. I'll have a look. That's good.
You know where Papipi Road is?
Well, let me tell you where I live. We photograph the luau.
You photograph the luau?
I have exotic birds.
Erotic birds?
Exotic.
Oh, okay.
We use them as models. They pose with the custom.
And we work from 430 to 730.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Pranks and Thanksgiving
Every day is Halloween
It's going to be Christmas soon
I can't wait I'm going to show my sexual organs to people
Alright so more about this
So these are luau's are these tourists that are going there
Are they haolees or kanekas
They're predominantly haolees
I would say
Fuck them
You got to deal with them
Yeah they suck don't they
Well not all of them
As a matter of fact you find that most people are pretty decent
Yeah
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Yeah, it depends.
Yeah, you like wearing the pens.
I had a girl once used to wear the pens.
She was post-menopausal, and then I would have her wring it out on top of me.
Let me ask you a question.
Go ahead.
Are you a comedian or a photographer?
I'm a photographer.
Oh, okay, good.
I have a few photography books.
What's your name?
I have a few photography books.
I don't know if you've ever seen them.
What's your name?
My name is Cross.
Cross.
And what do you do now, Cross?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank
Prank
Prank
Prank
Prank
and i had a i did the coffee book named uh... pets with Tourette's not
ever seen that one
not familiar
uh... okay
alright well i mean look them up look them up they're uh... best sellers on
amazon
alright well we're not going anywhere with this i'd like to meet you if you want to come out
next week and see what we do yeah i'd love to get my hands all over you and i'll suck your dick if you help
and let me give me a job you know come on i mean it's man you just close your eyes i don't use my teeth for
nothing i'm really good i'm told
I'll take pictures of you. I'll take pictures of your day. No need you ever take a picture of your dick
Okay, all right. Oh, I'm sorry to bother you all right. I'll see you later. Yeah, all right asshole
Bye fuck that guy fucking pissing me off man. How dare you with old employment you should fire
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live Prank Call
Prank Call Underground Radio
DTT
DTT
DTT man
That guy fucking
Oh my god he was weird
They fucked him over dude
He was actually a nice guy
I knew that guy man
He was a nice guy
We used to fuck with him a lot though
We used to fuck with him a lot though man
I remember Andy would go into chat rooms
During Zolar's show on Friday
Andy's entertainment back then on a Friday
Was to log in to the
PCU IRC chat room
And fuck with DTT
DT during Zolar's show him and Nunu would get together and just fucking royal him up remember he'd say I have gun I have gun for you I have gun for you I have gun for you yeah yeah shit that guy man fucking miss that guy what's up DTT if you're out there some people said yeah Dex from prank the fuck were they who are the prank you whatever they were called before that they said that that's that that was him I don't believe so I don't know I don't think the ages matched up
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Japanese restaurant
Send him a condom
Use condom
It happened to me too
What's his face sent me a used condom
A couple years ago
It could've
No I send you used condoms all the time
I didn't say echo
What's your problem
Shut the fuck up
Bitch
You see the problem with this fucking Alexa shit
What's this?
God dammit...
It's always listening dude!
She'ss...
Shut the fuck...
She's stopped listening...
Alright.
Unless I need her to listen.
Japanese restaurant let's goooo!
Yeah!
Hello?
Hi, is this Japanese?
Japanese?
Yeah.
Japanese restaurant?
Oh.
Okay.
When...
Are you open today?
No.
Oh.
I see you have a position for the Japanese restaurant for a job, and I needed a job.
Okay uh which position are you applying for?
Well, what do you have? What do you have? I cook. I have sushi cooking experience. I have sushi rice making experience. I have a toilet machine cleaning and fixing. I do anything. Whatever you got, honey baby. What do you got?
I take position open, so if you want, you can come into the store.
What are they? Doggy and missionary? Doggy and missionary position?
No.
Oh, what positions do you have? Yeah?
No.
No, no, don't go. I'm sorry. Were you sleeping? Or what was going on? Were you drinking?
No.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Well, because you're fucking pissing the world too soon, man.
Stretch it out, baby.
Take it easy, tiger.
You're an expert.
Speaking of penises and trousers off, huh?
All right.
Let's call some stores, dude.
Here's Bell's.
They're one of the...
Just don't fucking shit notes the bargain thing, Jack.
Fuck that.
Bell's is a store.
They're like a local department store down in Florida, and I never liked them.
I never liked them.
I got my first pair of Reeboks from them, though.
Bell's is shit.
TheFNDC.com
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Call Nation Madhouse Live
We're open early tomorrow morning.
Because we're not from here, but we understand this is a Florida store, right?
We open at 7 tomorrow.
I'm asking a question.
I got you.
I got you.
7.
Got it.
Very nice, honey.
I understand this is a Florida store, right?
Beals?
Yes.
All right.
So, I mean, we're from up north.
We came down to visit family, and she's my girlfriend, but I'm not from the south, and
I know, like, usually when you go out with a black girl and you're a white guy, it looks
Nobody cares if you're a black and white couple.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed I'm getting ready to walk at the store for a second did you Puerto
Ricans are they going to be Puerto Ricans there at seven o'clock in the
morning you know what i don't know but coming tomorrow disgusting
so much and I gotta go disgusting they smell hey happy Thanksgiving sorry
alright go get your big fat bitch
oh lord you smell bad I smell bad I'm Puerto Rican so there you go
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm a band man.
Ok.
Ok.
On exclusive products, gear and special offers.
Dick Sporting Goods in Daly City, how can I help you?
Dick.
I'm sorry?
Dick.
Dick.
Hello.
We're moving.
Is this Dick's.
Is this Dick's.
Dicke.
Dicke.
Want some dick.
Yeah.
Hello?
That chatter in the background there.
Dick Sporting Goods in Daly City.
Yeah, hi.
Is this Dick's.
Chicks with Dicks.
Hello?
Yeah is that, uh.
Dick's?
Hello?
Yes.
Is this Dick's?
Sound effects are so loud now man they're hardly usable oh man milkman what do we do
all right uh it's time for that break motherfucker i do i do declare we're taking three breaks
tonight not just the usual one no no two breaks two breaks tonight not just the usual one
and uh this is about time for a break machine i guess or we could do one last call let's do
another call let's do another call one more call one more call and then we'll take a break
The Sound Board
The Voice Effects
California
Let's Do It
Yeah Hi
I Need To See If You Got A Horsey Cat
A Horse Cat?
Horsey Cat
It's In Your Ad
And I Need To Have A Horsey Cat
Please My Daughter Keeps Asking About This Fucking Thing
I'm Gonna Beat The Shit Out Of Her
She Says Shut The Fuck Up
It's Okay
It's Alright
We have this cat-a-corn thing, so it's a cat that pretty much looks like a unicorn.
Really?
Yeah, it's a unicorn.
Mother fucker.
It has a unicorn body with a cat head.
Are you fucking with me?
No, that's literally what it is.
It's a horse body with a cat head that has the horn on its head, so it looks like a unicorn.
Wait a minute, what's it called?
Unicat?
It's called a cat-a-corn.
You gotta be shitting me.
Cat-a-corn.
Who's the manufacturer?
Who's the manufacturer?
Yeah.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call the Catacorns
They gotta come down
Call the Catacorns
Yes please
You better pull them because I'm gonna come in and I'm gonna fuck every one of them
Hang up the phone
Motherfucker you believe that Milkman?
They stole it finally
They took our fucking idea
They are selling Horseycats
We've only been talking about it for what now how many years what six?
Oh my god
Yeah I think so when did Horseycats start? 2012 I think 2012 2013 maybe
so it's four years for its sport
it's all its for sale on Amazon the five below page for it is off but it was
legit or catacomb plush tail toy catacomb plush toy adorable cat and
Madhouse Live
You are bigger than a woman. You are better than a woman. We will always be behind you. Do not let a woman, ever, ever, make you who you are.
Drunk bird motherfucker. Hijo de tu pinche reputa madre maricon cabron de mierda.
Madhouse Live
The Pacific Time
Let's see where we're at
How much time we got left for Pranksgiving here
24 hours of Prank Calls in progress right now
We're starting it off
Echo
How much time remaining on that timer bitch
One timer
A 24 hour timer
With about 21 hours and 54 minutes left
Wow we got lots of time left Milkmans
Alright
Yeah
I got a couple messages that came here
What do you got
What's on the big board there big guy
Alright well first off
We got one of our long time listeners
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Get a special coupon from the Madhouse, and if you use the coupon, you can pay an extra $5 and we'll get it.
Yeah.
Man, we had plans to roll this out real quick.
Bullshit!
It is bullshit.
It is.
Copyright infringement.
This plush is a squishy cat and squishy unicorn hybrid.
The cat toys with your heart.
The unicorn spreads love.
The cat toys with your heart, and the unicorn spreads love.
Bullshit.
I'm telling you, it's...
What about the horse and the cat?
That was even better.
The fucking unicorn.
The
Unicorn
is not even real
what is this North Korea?
Bullshit
Yeah
anyway
Then they said
can they stick a damn
rainbow tail on it?
What the fuck?
And now apparently
there's also a llama corn
a llama corn
of all things
it's uh
apparently just
you squeeze it
and it goes
I'm sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
the whole time
sorry
sorry
sorry
Well the horsey cat
is original
sorry
sorry
sorry
that's what it does
The horsey cat was the original
Moo
Fuck you
Yeah
The horsey cat didn't give a shit
Anyway also
there's an updated
horseycat.com
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
AltaBeauty Press 1
For all other inquiries, press 4
Thank you for calling AltaBeauty. How can we help you?
Thank God you're there. You guys are open.
Yes, we're open until 2.
Alright, good. I'm a transsexual and I have not done any of the surgeries to become fully female yet.
But would you help me try on makeup though?
Yes, definitely. So just come back in and then we can help you and then see what...
Alright, alright.
I'm sorry, not what transaction, but see what foundation...
Transition
Do you have anything else that would make me feel like a woman?
Do you have fake blood that I can smother all over my crotch to pretend I'm having a period
No, do you have anything? Do you have anything I can use?
That was Parkman's idea don't blame me for that I read exactly what Parkman wrote to do
I'm trying, but this is what Parkman gave me to work with.
Thank you for calling Ulta Beauty. This is Rosa speaking. How can I help you?
Hey, Big Rosie. How are you doing?
I'm good. How are you?
Not too good. I'm in the middle of a transition to become a woman, but I identify myself as female now.
Okay. Give me one second.
Okay. And how can I help you?
Is what?
Okay. No, go ahead. Continue.
What are you saying?
Oh, okay.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I don't want to talk about that is your second day you should what's your
heaviest flow day like your second day I'm just trying to learn no I understand
but I don't think right now would be the time also it's not your is not your
period right now no when when is it no I can't say that but yeah come in you show
me I can't help you with that what is it good day when do you ovulate when do you
when's your cycle is that better milk man a little longer that time a lump
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call
Parkman
Your friend Parkman said describe the sexual advances that other men make to you in the shower.
And that's what I did.
Hey how's the action tonight?
What's that?
How's the action? How's the heat?
Dead I guess.
You got some nice holes in there for me?
You funny.
In the shower?
You funny.
You funny motherfucker.
That was the same place.
You funny fucker.
Come here with that shit.
I wish I knew that number.
I don't know, dude. I don't know, man.
I just remember that they had one down in Berkeley, man.
Which I need the fucking number. I can't remember the name of the place.
I don't know I don't know I don't freak with those places maybe next time
you're there you can make a note all right I'll make sure that I get their
business card all right the key here regulator I'm sorry I'm just joking
milkman you're very straight you're very like pussy I know you do yeah that's
true I've never changed preferences like I always said I'd fucking do it out for
it ever fucking switch dive into it new new sending in numbers let's do some of
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman
Prawnbrain
Big Baz is in the chat room. That's good to see. What's up, Big Baby Baz? He wanted to join.
We're going to be opening up this. We have about 20, 30 minutes when we start letting people join in.
I know Dwight, Firmus, Baz is wanting to answer. Continue.
On to the next one. We got Miss Sana Almalak.
Balaka
Balaka
I don't want to take too long on these because uh what ends up happening is we lose uh some
of those stores are going to close that parkman worked very hard on getting for us matter
of fact this will be the last uk attempt here we'll go back to those uh but we'll do more
um more stores uh we got waffle house we got numbers in las vegas casinos bellagio is that
where the shooting took place where'd that shooting take place was it the bellagio was
Call the Bludge
No answer Thank You Noonoo as Gilmore said this is the ringing hour brought to you by Noonoo
Yeah, it might be the caller ID is a little funky I can adjust that
Las Vegas
Fucking goddess some numbers don't complain
Caller ID
Caller ID
Caller ID
I will make sure to make it a British color ID.
I can do that?
Alright, good.
Thank you.
Waffle House.
Let's do it.
Oh my god.
I dialed it wrong.
I tried to dial the Waffle House like it was international.
What am I, stupid?
We're sorry.
You have reached a number that has been disconnected.
Parkman.
Really?
Parkmanager?
Alright, never mind that.
Las Vegas.
In a casino here in Las Vegas.
What can we do?
Whoops.
Not that.
I got an idea from Parkman I haven't read it yet I just with Parkman's ideas I usually just I don't even read them until I get the answer they answer the line and then I start reading them so I'm avoiding it oh this is a cracker barrel please wait a moment hi honey baby can I help you yeah I brought a black girlfriend over to a family Thanksgiving dinner and we got kicked out of the house because she's black will you do this here oh come on I think she was black I think she was afro-american
I just lie awake and think of perfect night we spent
Under a summer man's veil
I think it was zero, right?
And all them changing only love became
Made my world a living hell
Alright, Creighton, I'll do it. I'll use the N-word. You got it.
We get one N-word a month.
This is Alyssa speaking. How may I assist you?
Cracker Barrel. Why no N-Barrel?
MadhouseLive.com
Madhouse Live
Shoutcast 24-7-365
247-365-STREAM
PrankDose.com
Madhouse on Twitter
Madhouse.Live
Madhouse Militia Member
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Pranksgiving
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I guess it's tonight
8pm to 10pm
Eastern Standard Time
Jyad will be doing a special episode of
Art of Phone Marking
A live calls and mass confusion show
I'll be helping him out
Probably with a few other people
We'll have to go a little bit over 10pm
Because we didn't start the timer
Right at 10
Let's take a look Milkman how much time we got left
Echo
How much time remaining
You have one timer
A 24 hour timer
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project
Madhouse Prankcast
Madhouse Prankcast Podcast
Madhouse Radio Prankcast
Madhouse Radio Prankcast
Here it is from TuneIn
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
You can use your Amazon Echo device to get us here.
Subscribe to us.
Listen to us.
I don't care if you subscribe.
I prefer you did.
Not a big deal.
Just give me the web hits.
And if you're an iTunes user, come on.
Leave me a positive.
I want a five-star review.
All right?
Five.
Five.
No excuses.
You give me a four, just don't give me anything.
Just shut up.
Because we had some dick necks on.
They were like, oh, Carlito sucks dick.
He sucks dick.
Oh, bullshit, man.
He sucks dick.
Come on, man.
Yeah, he sucks dick.
We've been doing this shit for a dozen years.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
My security department
They can help you
Hey hurry the fuck up
One moment
National events
On Fremont Street
Let's go let's go
Is there a man security there
This is serious
Oh yes
Where you need him
I need to talk to him
First of all
You don't understand
What's going on
Okay hold on
Hurry up
Let's go
Red team go
Yeah listen
My wife brought us
Her fucking stupid cat inside
She's a stupid Japanese girl
That I married you know
Uh huh
And she brought
I didn't want to bring the cat. I wanted to bring the dog, Homer.
She brought the cat.
She's Japanese. She thinks it's good luck if the cat cleans its ear with its paw.
It's good luck or something retarded like that.
Okay.
Alright, so the fucking cat, we're at the slot machines and now the cat's gone.
So we need to get this fixed. Let's go, let's go.
So we have a cat somewhere in our casino?
Yeah, you need to hurry up and get my fucking cat and I can describe the cat for you.
Okay, are you at the front desk?
Closed Captions by the Amara.org community
tikka masala papadum Carlito Laugh Track
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Prank Call Nation
Get your ass
Alright why don't you come to my security office and do that
Why don't you come to 097 and I'm going to fuck this machine right now
I'm going to fuck it
Sounds good I hope you're really there I'll be right there
Yeah hurry up motherfucker and I'm going to fuck you and then fuck the machine
And fuck the money out of it
Sounds good see you in a few minutes
Let's go let's rape this machine
I get the ass
Yeah
Casino
Hey like that Milkman you like that
Was that good for you
Good for you
That was a good sound effect dude
Yeah thank you thank you
A little loud but it was good
I hope he believes I'm in the casino.
It served a purpose.
He got the message.
He thinks he believes it because of the sound effect.
I'm going to fuck the machine and get the money out of it, dude.
And we need to get to the bottom of this whole five below thing, dude.
Let me pull up a map before we do more casinos because they're open 24-7.
They're cocksuckers.
Let's get a map open here and let's see if we can find five below because that's some bullshit.
You know, corn machines.
How in the fuck did they get away with stealing our idea?
I don't fucking believe it, dude.
I don't know, man.
That's the hottest fucking thing since sliced bread, and the motherfuckers stole our idea.
Dude, it was one of your stupid, retarded, crazy, imaginative, like, just out-of-the-fucking-ass inventions, dude.
That's just the way you are.
You'll just think of something really stupid-sounding, and you'll go with it, dude.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
uh... with uh... madhouse in our thanksgiving shows you remember that
guy ernie that we called three years in a row
yes
yes
but what was he at? he was on some island
he was in Guam he was in fucking Guam i kept fucking with the guy
Guam that's where he was
yeah i kept fucking with him the horse and cow fucking place
yeah every year
oh my god yeah dude that was some fun shit dude
then we asked about the horse man you know
yeah
how do you masturbate a horse you know do you take your shoes off?
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
My name is Cross. I'm calling from the corporate office.
We have an issue with the catacorn.
With what?
Catacorn. Do you have any of the catacorns in?
It's a half cat, half unicorn plush.
I'm not sure.
Well, let's go check those. They were on sale.
We do have them.
Okay, well, we need to get those all pulled.
Now there's pending litigation, apparently.
It's a crisis that we're having here.
Did it come through an email?
No, it didn't. This is urgent.
No, this is apparently got out because of the Black Friday special.
We need to get those pulled.
They can't be sold tomorrow.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Catacorn Plush Toys
The Half-Cat, Half-Unicorn One has to be pulled.
Okay, I don't have that many.
Okay, good. Thank goodness. Did you sell many?
I don't know, but I'm seeing I have three.
Alright, because they're finding $10,000.
Each store is getting fined $10,000 per toy that got sold, apparently.
Okay, so I will pull these now.
Thank you. Thank goodness. Alright, and what was your name again?
My name is Lorene.
Alright, Lorene. Okay, thank you very much.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
money
I keep saying that, but seriously, this is some shit.
Are there no Five Below's in the West Coast?
Holy shit, where are Five Below's at?
Let's see.
Let's see if there are any in Illinois.
Where would they be open for another hour?
Yes, there are.
A ton of them.
I mean, how dare these bastards?
I can't believe it, Dave.
Right, right, right.
Calling Five Below in Schaumburg.
This is Nick.
How may I help you?
Hi, Nick.
This is Cross.
I'm calling from the corporate office in Philadelphia.
Oh, all right.
What's up?
Not much, sir.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
callman
idiot we have uh... noted how many you got it to determine you know how many
received
you tell me how many have left that's gonna give us an idea about how much
the fires gonna be from the store
uh... already accurate
go out and calm down
it's going to take up
that's fine up on you take your time sir
okay they do know your busy thing
Mr. Trost
Yes sir
Excuse me Mr. Trost
That's fine, yes sir, go ahead, Mr. Mann
Yes, when the manager returns, confirm, have him read you the UPC code, make sure you copy it down, and confirm that record later on
Okay, good idea, good idea, I thought I'd add some legitimacy to this later
He needs to read it to you and confirm the proper UPC code has been acquired
Of course, of course
And then you can check and see if that matches what you have
Thank you, thank you
From here on
Prank Belly
Hey David King listening in!
Hey crazy David King you crazy conspiracy guy!
Why don't you just get on a plane come back to America.
Just saying.
Is there a conspiracy that keeps you from doing this?
Ohh god.
Dude, I want to thank all 340 people listening on Mixlr right now, Mixlr.
340 people.
And it looks like we're in the 20s on shoutcast.
So we're about 360 fucking people listening live right now.
Thank you all.
God bless you.
Unless that Mixlr did it just-
How do the phone listeners add in on that?
How do the phone...
They would be in the shoutcast, I think.
I don't know.
I don't know if they're...
Would they individually or would they show up as one?
I don't know.
That's a good question.
I'd have to check with them and see how that works.
I think for each one it's a new session, I think.
Really?
All right.
So then you could get unique...
You'd get actual numbers.
Cool.
Yeah, I don't know, but I hope so.
All right.
Hello.
Hello, can I help you?
Yes, hi.
This is Cross.
I'm calling from the corporate office in Philadelphia.
I already spoke to someone who was taking care of an issue for me.
Call me at the corporate office and ask for cross
I'm here, we're in the NOC
What's the first name? Cross
Okay I will call you back at the... You need to pull all those uh... catacorns sir
Okay I'll verify it with our district manager
Well how long is this going to take? This has to be done before tomorrow morning
You close in an hour, you close in less than an hour
Who am I talking with? Who am I talking with? Okay I will contact my district manager
Who am I talking with I said?
I will contact my district manager. My name's Russell.
Russell. What kind of stupid name is that?
Ok, you have a good day.
Yeah. Asshole.
Bye.
Yeah. Fuck you.
So what kind of stupid name is that?
Now we need to... now let's see if we can find...
Hello?
...find the UPC code.
Can I help you?
I'm still here, Russell.
I didn't go anywhere.
Who's that?
Russell.
Russell.
Russell.
Russell.
Hey buddy.
That's him hanging up and calling back.
Russell Russell Russell Russell corporate office I can help you up keeps
trying to get the phone to go Russell Russell I have control the phone I'm with
the corporate office I have control the phone he's trying to call the district
manager there he died finally one everyone yeah it was that fun it had to
Madhouse Live
PrankScaping.com
Call Nation Madhouse Live
They're gonna get their turn. Keep it.
They don't get shit from me.
Ah, there goes Dwight. Motherfucker.
Ah, I'm out of alcohol. I gotta go get the bottle.
Hey, honey. How are you?
Terrible. Thanks for asking. Thanks for bringing that up. I appreciate it.
Um, hey, uh, who's in charge of the slot machines?
You're the slot manager?
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project
Put me through to that man. The man that does the casino machines one moment. I'm gonna kick the shit out of this
Some baby
Some baby, hey, I'm here at the Bellagio. Yeah, how you doing? What's happening?
Well, I'm gonna beat the shit out of this machine in a second is what's gonna happen. Okay, all right
I don't I don't like the way it's looking at me. So where are you at? Well?
Well, I'm in the front of the machine.
I mean, where in the casino are you at?
Where the machine is.
The machine.
I'm in front of the machine.
I'm going to kick it right now.
I poured a drink on it already and it went like that.
Okay.
Yeah, but I'm going to fuck it.
I'm going to fuck this fucking casino machine.
The slot machine.
I'm going to have fucking with it.
So what do you want me to do?
I want you to come watch.
I don't think I need to watch that.
You can do something like that.
Well, I have a nervous tendency of holding my penis while I play poker.
Is that going to be overlooked?
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Closing
I'm hanging up on you
I said give me the pit boss asshole
Are you blind?
You're talking to him
Are you blind too?
I need to know where you're at
You're the guy in charge of the machine
I need to talk to the guy in charge of the card games
The real fucking guy
Not you fucking pissant guy that just deals with the machines
Alright I'm gonna hang up the phone on you
Fuck you, I'll call back and get who I need you fucker
Fuck you in the ass
Come on motherfucker
Why don't you look for me on the camera, you know who I am
Look at me, look at me, look at me
I'm waving at the camera right now. I dare you to come down here right now. I'll kick your ass. Yeah, that's how you do it
Hey big Patty, how you doing?
Not good. Don't ask me again. I need to talk to the pit boss in charge of the poker games. Let's go
We gotta call the fatties to
Thanks for call the village poker. How can I help? I'm looking for a pit boss in charge of poker
I don't need to talk to a woman, is there a man I can talk to?
The Pete boss?
Yeah, stupid. Hello?
Uh, this is the poker room.
Yeah, well I need to talk to a man in a suit, not you.
What are you gonna do for me? Come refresh my drink?
Please.
My name is Cross.
Okay, hold on one moment please.
Hurry up, let's go.
These people are really excited about the casino machine going.
They're just standing around a fucking one slot machine.
And you know nobody's waiting, they're cheering because they're losing money.
It's constantly spitting out money, they got like the frickin' million dollar jackpot.
Dude fucking casinos are retarded. That's about as stupid as going to a strip club. That slot machine's got a leak. Yeah, it's malfunctioning.
Oh my gosh, she's transferring to a black hole. That's the whole thing you did. Louis Black has a great joke about...
This is Andy, how may I help you? Hey, how you doing big fat Andy? What's up?
Hey, are you a man in a suit? You got a Macy's suit on or you got a real suit on? Real suit on. Where from?
From uh... What brand is it? Who is it, Armani? What you got? I don't know. There's no name brand. I can't afford it.
I'm here at the slot machine right now, you know, yeah, I have a nervous tendency holding my penis while I play poker
Is that going to be overlooked? I just hold it. It's for good luck. I hold it. I hold it
It's how I learned to play poker. My mom used to touch my penis when I played it
What list?
What do you mean 1, 3, 2, 5? What are you talking about, asshole?
What the hell ya wanna play?
I wanna just play regular poker man
Like, hold em, the river, the river
The river, caribbean cask
What is it called? Caribbean cask?
I don't know this
The ones that the fucking chinese people play
That's right
Yeah that one
Caribbean Poker? Do you have Caribbean Poker?
Probably in the pit
Do you have blackjacks?
Probably in the pit
What's the stakes? You got $5 tables anywhere?
You got nice little asshole on you?
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call
TheFNDC.com
I'll tell you a funny fucking story uh before uh before my mom and him moved uh the the foundation
on the uh the old house was it had taken a shit so like the ceiling in his room had started uh
uh at one point it like it cracked uh so like part of it came down while he was at school
and it came down on his tv and his xbox and he was so pissed
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I took my old one
and I actually put
socks and shirts inside of that
and he unwrapped it and he was like
oh my god Xbox One I'm so happy
I'm like are you sure?
He opened it up and saw there was socks and shit in there
and the look on his face he was so
pissed
and then we gave him a real one later but he was so
pissed off it was priceless I got pictures of it
it was great
the producer's asking me
get him the
info for the incoming calls
Love Ranch
Illegal Brothel
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Johnny Walker
It's a rip off
Because it's a blended scotch
Especially the blue
And I've said this before on my show
But it's like fucking 100 plus dollars
For a bottle of whiskey that's a blended scotch
I could do so much better
If you're going to drink a blend
You might as well drink a Canadian
Well yeah but for 100 plus dollars
You might as well get a nice single malt
A decent single malt
You know you get a pretty good fucking single malt
You get yourself a Balvenie or something like that
Call Nation Madhouse Live
One moment, please. You have entered an invalid extension.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Here we go. This is a correct number. It started at 11 p.m., which is about two and a half hours ago.
I'm going to say they're probably still going, because as they said, they go all weekend.
Thank you for calling our telephone meeting. You may enter the conference number followed by the pound sign for the meeting at any time during this message.
There are currently 62 other participants in the conference.
I have to get somebody to take me in and maybe buy a new set of phones.
What is it, do I start one?
I'll call the people company first tomorrow.
So thank you so much, and I pass.
Thanks for coming in and sharing with us, Rosemary.
Please press 1 to mute or unmute yourself.
You are now unmuted.
May I speak?
Yeah, who's this?
Hey, my name is Cross. How you doing?
What's your first name?
Cross.
Rock?
Cross.
Okay.
I seem to be having trouble with the turkey, you know?
You know how all the eating this week, tonight?
Hello?
Yes.
uh...
the actually can sexually attracted to the turkey just the way the legs go
you know how the legs are kind of spread out
you know like a woman
missionary position
and i'd like to get back oral sex to women so
it just makes me want to give oral sex to the turkey and i just start eating
and i can't
jeez i can't stop
we can't hear you tom
who'd like to come in next? hi tom this is margaret the compulsive overeater
yeah who is this? margaret
Hi Margaret, come on in.
Hi Tom, I could really relate to your share.
Please press 1. You are now unmuted.
I think I would ask him, will I find love again?
Shut up, Margaret. Fat bitch.
We need a turkey.
Margaret, come on back in if you like. We're going to contact the authorities here shortly.
Please press 1. You are now unmuted.
Who'd like to come in next?
Dwight, share. Your turn.
They can't hear us, Dwight. You share, you share.
Or Baz, you want to share?
Mark
A
waters
they were
press from one to
you are now unmuted
good morning welcome to
hello can i
share
Hi
may i share
its Beth
go ahead
please first
yeah
who is this
ladies first go ahead
okay
yeah go ahead
okay did you want to go first to the uh
the man
No
All right i just want to say you know guys um
Okay, my name is Bev. I'm a compulsive overeater in Chicago. I'm really struggling. I appreciate this meeting. I haven't been dialing in like I need to. Tom, I really connected with you and to Margaret and to other people I've heard, you know, share. And I just have to say I really appreciate the honesty. But lately I've been getting in touch with, you know, my anger, which I guess is a lot, you know, or I wouldn't be overweight like I am.
Closed Captioning by Kris Brandhagen.com
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project llc
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by Kris Brandhagen.com
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Okay, Blake, thanks for coming in and sharing.
Who had to come in next?
Hi.
Hi, who's this?
My name is Syphilis.
Hi, Syphilis.
Syphilis.
I woke up and I hadn't hung up the phone.
So I understand this is a kind of recovery meeting, which or what?
Oh, sure, yeah.
This is an All Rooters Anonymous meeting, Phyllis.
Oh, yeah, well, that's me.
Good, come on in and share.
Okay, thank you.
Yeah, I'm great.
pittsburgh
better
prison
usi
learned
i
it
buyer
while
won the world
Yeah, well, I can turn off all your phone calls. You'll never get a telephone call again from anybody, not just us.
Is that what you wanted, you mean?
I can disconnect them.
Yeah.
Quick
Get Your Phone Up Your Asshole
Oh yeah?
Yeah, go ahead and do that.
We're just gonna thug ya. That's okay.
Customer service, my name is...
How can I help you?
Here, sign me.
Hello?
Watchin' CBS dramas.
What the hell is that?
Someone watchin' TV. Customer service.
Come on, we don't have all night.
Whatever. Hey, old man, are you still there?
Old man, old man.
Old man, old man, old man.
Hello?
Keep him connected. We'll see if we get any more of them incoming calls.
They'll probably start filtering in pretty soon.
Chicken Ranch Brothel
Chicken Ranch Brothel
This is the one that I know of.
Hey, Carlito, what's up, my dude?
Hey, what's up?
How you doing there?
Hey.
It's good to see you.
Oh, there's that guy.
Now he made noise.
Thank you for calling the world famous historic chicken ranch.
This is Christina.
How may I help you?
Yeah, how you doing?
I'd like to make an order, please.
Uh, don't.
I'd like to make an order.
Like, one chicken meal?
I remember that.
That sound effect.
Yeah, it's peck peck.
It's peck peck the chicken.
I'd like to make an order.
Thank you for calling.
Can I get a four-piece?
We don't have chicken.
Four-piece all dark, please.
We don't have chicken.
This is Chicken Ranch.
Yeah, peck peck the chicken demands it.
Yeah, okay, good.
I'll take four chickens.
They're going to mess with me.
That shit.
Stupid return to prank call idea.
Dwight, how you doing there?
You okay?
You holding up there?
The producer requested the termination of any calls that give out the name, number, or location.
Like such as a last name, number, or location.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
If you already reported it, then just let Comcast deal with it, right?
Did she turn into a robot just then?
Hey, I just want to shout out two great shows that are happening tomorrow.
The XYZQWA show at 11 a.m. Eastern, 7 a.m. Pacific.
I will be co-hosting.
And also, the Big Dwight show going on tomorrow at 1 p.m. Eastern, 11 a.m. Pacific.
I hope you appreciate it, sir.
anything special and it's paypal.me slash Dwight PCN for the donation yeah as of right now nobody
gives a fuck about the Dwight man those donations are rolling in a snail's pace I'll put one in
tomorrow my dude no more patreon donations uh guys to Brad Carter he's got enough money he's
got enough money that Brad Carter now I need them but Dwight especially no send him to Brad too
everyone you should give everyone donate a dollar to all of us or here's an incoming call who wants
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
85
55 for 1000
dude I got my I got an HDR
you get uh you get last year's
Sony model uh
yeah you get last year's Sony model 60
inch 4k smart TV
uh for 650 see I
went I got the TLC the TCL
TV it's just fine works just fine
works good I'm half blind man I don't
care I can't hardly see I saw
a 40
40 inch Samsung
uh 4k smart TV
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Hey, I got one thing to say also, you know, while this is ringing the second hour of the XYZ show
Hello, hi, this is Kyle. Hey, we have a breaking news about the XYZ show. Go ahead for me
Hey, I just want to advise you that the breaking news about the XYZ shows that were involving the discord in the second hour
So anyone who wants to say something really interesting like that radio actor, what was his name? Paul something
Verhoeven, it was like Ashley syndicated Paul Verhoeven. Oh say that again. I'm sorry Paul Verhoeven
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
customer service
how may I help you
customer service
yes I want to be placed
on your do not call list
alright Mr. Baz
why is that ma'am
because I don't want
your calls
okay well I think
we can help you today
I've got good news
for you
we have two tiers
of service
don't want any good news
the good news would be
if you quit calling me
well we have two tiers
of service
we have the standard service
take me off of your list
that's why you transferred
me to this number
take me off of your list
for $10.99
you're limited to
two calls per night
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
What's wrong with you, man?
Why can't you just start out by asking how we're doing first?
Hello, other person on the line?
Hello?
Hello?
Silent person.
Hey, are you, like, eavesdropping on the conversation?
That's a wiretap, you know, federal law, Title 18.
Here comes someone else.
You just shush up back there.
Customer service, my name is God.
How can I help you?
Hello?
Speak.
All right, cool.
I would like to thank Green Bee and Mr. RBCP for their donations.
Thank you.
No!
Yeah, no problem, man.
No problem.
Green Bean
Fox 2
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'll check it out he jumped in the bus he was like they forgot how they got him to jump in the bus he's a detective he's an FBI agent he's like I'm detective Johnny Utah I'm an FBI agent you know okay yeah and then he started are you on the bus he started honking the horn no no I'm not on the bus no I'm in a helicopter flying over oh okay I'm a news chopper I'm a news chopper one customer service my name is Fox 2 now how can I help you
Call Nation Madhouse Live
But anyway, yeah someone else someone did just they crossed the phone lines. Where's the fellow who was just talking I'm here
You're there. Okay. Yeah, you're talking to two different people. I'm talking. She doesn't want hers and I want mine
You want okay. Do you want hers? She doesn't want her she said do you want to kiss her and touch her and her private parts?
No, I want you to never call me again. I want you to not tell me what to do. Do not call me
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Appearance
SLABIA
Humble
Sign up here
5000
Land Praxe
Hitman
Ken
Program
Zillow
Paradise
Versus
lies
Call Nation Madhouse Live
He just said...
You knew she was in for it, why not?
You could call her honey.
Did you just call me a honey?
What a gasp.
That was the last lady. Dirt, I don't want these
dirty calls. And then you
really did make it a dirty call.
Call that lady back, that was great.
That was funny as hell.
He just said badge click.
Good stuff. Alright, well let me hold here.
Go into holding pattern, see if some more of those answers.
And then if the producer
I'm not Brad Carter with a voice changer I don't know what you're talking about
Brad Carter with a voice changer.
Now you're Brad Carter with a voice changer.
Oh, man.
All right.
Well, when we come back, we've got more incoming calls.
Those seem to be fun.
We've got about two hours left of this show.
Then Brad Carter takes over.
We've got more news lines.
We've got infomercials.
There we go.
And we've got more stores.
We need to get to the bottom of this catacorn thing, too.
Can you believe that?
Not only did you do that years ago, you made a prototype before they fucking had that out.
No.
The prototype is here.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation
Call Nation
Call Nation
Call Nation
We'll be back right after this Madhouse Radio is back
You are bigger than a woman You are better than a woman
We'll always be behind you Do not let a woman
We'll always be behind you Ever make you who you are
Hoss
You're listening to Madhouse Live
On the largest Prank Call Station in the nation
Prank Call Nation
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Go ahead, Milkman. What's up, sir?
Hit the echo.
Oh, yeah. Where are we at? Let's see. Echo, how much time remaining on that shit?
You have one timer, a 24-hour timer with about 20 hours and three minutes left.
We're still in the 20s, Milkman. We have plenty to go still, man.
Yeah.
I'm going to post it. Did I post the link yet? Let me post a link to that site.
All the five alive shit closed.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Donations from Gordo, Jack Heliquin the Weird Clown, and Parkman
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Pics show art new new
Radio show not fat picture show today no fucking game
Yeah, we need to get milk man back into the back into the chat slugging the chain. Oh, yeah
No, baby, can we get our Dominican friend in here by the way? We have a Dominican friend. Oh, what's his name?
Yeah, the dead that's right. Oh man. Have you heard from the milkman did ever call you he called me one day drunk saying
Laugh Track Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
pranks and he was depressed that the wife doesn't like right well yeah I'll hook you up with Dwight and you know they do pranks a lot you know not even on the air and he's like okay all right I'm sober now I have a job I deliver newspapers like all right great and then the next I don't know I don't know what he's doing in I don't fucking know I don't know honestly I don't yeah let's play here he had a restaurant with that girl that girl left him because he did
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Girl is facing the other way
All right, you mean like reverse cowgirls? Yeah
Here's a voicemail of his let's see what this sounds like
You know what Carlito I was gonna get fired yesterday
So instead of being fired they gave me a promotion
one guy
Is it a promotion I think
I like my attitude and how much I work and he told them to switch me over to his department so he's my boss now and he said yesterday to them he said he's going to keep me on board because he likes my attitude and stuff.
Okay, cool. Here's the next one. I last heard from him on October 22nd. Let's see.
So I'm permanent. There's only two other people that are permanent in his department. And I'm the third one. So, you know, I'm permanent over there.
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
This is five weeks ago. I haven't heard from him in a sense.
He lost his job today.
Yeah, that was five weeks ago.
You know what, Carlito?
It's a trap-a-hot show.
Mucho malito duro.
Duro trap-a-hot show.
Trap-a-hot show.
Okay, last one.
27 seconds.
I think those fuckin' one-pound boxes fuckin' every fuckin' second and every second and putting them onto fuckin' pallets.
The worst part of that fuckin' job is at the end of the day where you have to wrap all those fuckin' pallets up.
That's the worst motherfuckin' part.
Maybe he did sound pretty sober there last time I heard from him.
Alright, here's September.
He was depressed for a while.
Carlito, yo.
Yo, Caleb, boy, um.
What?
Carlito, I want to do fucking more pranks with you, bro.
Let's do something, man.
Let's set something up.
Fuck that shit, you know?
Alright.
Here's August.
My stepdaughter is coming back Wednesday.
Oh shit, I remember this one.
This was the one where he was afraid he was going to have to sleep at night.
Is that his step-brother?
His step-daughter must have come. His step-daughter.
His daughter?
Oh, that girl's kid! Oh my gosh, really?
She's going to see me completely sober.
Completely sober.
See, at first I thought it was going to say completely naked.
That's what I thought.
Not on anything.
I don't know if she can love me or hate me We got incoming call I don't know Thank you for calling customer service my name is Parkman how can I help you I'm sorry we've reached our quota for the day would you like to try again for another time sure okay what day would you like to try for we'll enter you into the lottery customer service thank you no thank you
Hello
Hello
Hello
Hello
I'd like to be added to the do not call list
Oh no I can't do that Mr. Cartman
Can't hear you
I gotta transfer you over to this woman she's gonna handle it thank you
Hello
Hello
Yeah can you hear me? Hello
Hello
Hello
Hi I can hear you
Yeah I'd like to be added to the do not call list
Well how does it feel to want?
You're kind of a joke man
Hey don't you talk motherfucker I'm helping someone else right now
You get in line and you sit there like a good little bitch
Why would I sit here?
I'm not talking to you. You sit down like a bitch while I'm helping this gentleman. He waited. He's first up. What can I help you with, sir?
I'm sorry for that interruption.
Hello?
Hey, you shut up. This gentleman, he's first. You're third, and then that woman, she's fourth. What can I help you with?
I would like to be put on your do not call list. It's 1130 out here.
Okay, well, I'm thinking of a number between one and two, and if you guess the right number, you'll be removed.
Two.
Sorry, it was one. Removal denied. Please hang up and try again later.
Alright, now it's your turn, asshole, because he was denied. What do you want?
What do you want? Are you two trying to hook up together? Are you trying to touch his dirty dick and put it inside of you?
Hey, I don't have to put up with this. It's Thanksgiving and I'm working. How do you think that makes me feel?
Oh, I think the fact that you have to work right now is like you're a comedian.
Comedian?
Yeah, I can hear it in my voice. No, I hate this fucking job. I'm trying to get far from this job.
How is this even possible? It's smart. It's good.
I went to college and I'm working here.
You think it makes me happy?
Yeah, no, you should go to sleep, man, because this is like a prank waste of time.
I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to stick around for a while because this is entertaining me.
You should hang up, though.
You need to hang up.
Oh, I know, I know.
I picked up the phone because they're calling my mother-in-law, so I just decided to pick up the phone and figure out what's going on.
But now I'm just going to hang out for what's interesting.
You're not going to hang up.
I'm going to tie up my line and then I'm not going to be able to make sales and then I'm going to get fired.
I'm gonna have to go on and on the government's tip.
I hope you get fired.
And start getting needed too.
I hope so.
You use words like dick and pussy.
So I mean, you'll be fired for a hundred reasons.
I'm sure you're 300 pounds, so I don't really give a shit anyway.
And you just offended that woman that's on my line, and you're gonna get me in trouble.
Oh, did I offend her?
Oh my god.
Ma'am, I'm sorry that this man offended you.
This social justice lawyer offended you.
You're offended?
Is everyone offended?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I don't want to be called again. I'm going back to bed.
You should. Please do.
I'm just going to stay on the phone for a while.
You're ruining my sales, sir. You're taking my percentages down.
Hello, customer service.
Yes, I pushed a button.
Oh, congratulations.
You hit one and they just get dispatched into this number?
Customer service, may I help you?
It's a pretty good night out here.
What's the problem here?
There's some weird number that's calling everybody and if you hit one it pulls you into this.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
That would be wonderful.
The first thing is to apologize for talking to me like that.
I'm sorry, but you folks are pretty rude to me to get me on the phone.
You don't have a right to talk to me like that.
I'm a human being, and I'm not deaf.
Do you understand that part?
Do you understand the part, motherfucker?
And that's the way it goes.
Do you understand that part, motherfucker, you?
Hello?
Customer service, how can I help you?
My name is Penis.
How can I help you?
Your name is Loser.
Very good.
Yeah.
Well, I'm sorry, but, you know, when you call people at midnight,
I was just connected to this line
Can I please be taken
Call Nation Madhouse Live
All the girls that come around here, have you heard the rumors?
They're so good at stuff man, like just winning
Customer service
Hey you guys, what do you do? What do you do?
Why are you calling here?
Who? Your mom?
Me!
Your mom?
Who's the monitor?
Customer service, man
Who's the monitor? Who's the clinical monitor?
Don't you call this number again
Why are you calling here?
Racist
He hung up
Why the fuck are you calling me?
Is it actually quiet?
Who's the monitor?
Hello?
Yeah, no I just
Hello, is there customer service here?
I just put you on mute. I just put you on mute at will. I just put you on mute at will and you can't do anything about it.
Do you understand? I put you on mute at will. You don't bother us. When you start talking I hit a button.
There you go. Just like that. Asshole. You see? There you go.
Madhouse Live
And here comes an incoming call. Milkman, take this one. Milkman's going to do a prank call. Oh, my God.
Customer service.
Mr. May, do you realize it's 11.36 at night and you're calling me?
And this is the second call I've gotten from you folks.
Well, I didn't realize that. Let me set my clock here. What time was it?
11.36.
I got 11.36. Well, thank you so much for letting me know what time it is.
Well, don't call people at 11.36 at night, for God's sake.
What? How am I going to find out what time it is?
Uh, this is not funny. I know you think it's humorous, but it is not funny.
Well, this is customer service. This is not funny. That is correct. May I help you?
I don't care. Why are you calling people after they've gone to bed?
I didn't call you. You called customer service.
No, I didn't call anybody. I pressed 1 so I could talk to a real person.
You press a number and call Customer Service
This had better not happen AGAIN!
I mean it!
This is received Laugh Lady, this is Thanksgiving and you need to tell me what you want
I've been working all day
What I want for you is to quit make your phone calls at 1130 at night.
How are you? I'm Working!
Alright! That's enough May I help?
Yea right! Milkman!
Alright let's go back up once more
alright Milkman. that was awesome
WHouH
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project
Puget Back on Halti
Alright we'll waste
a morning
coming call
we'll waste
I'm really drunk
we'll waste a morning
coming call
right now
in the meantime
I just wanna
he hung up finally
who won
yeah guys
high five everybody
high fives all around
yeah
we won that one
yeah
I heard the wife
bitching at me
she's like
hang up
you know how wives are
right
Baz does
he's the only other
married one here
Milkman
he ain't never been married
hey Carlito
hey
Check the gourd in the Skype conference that we're in right now.
I will.
Hey, Milkman, congratulations.
That was a good prank call, man.
That was great.
Good work, man.
Yeah.
Did I do one?
Yeah, you did.
Yeah, that's good.
That was awesome.
That was a rare Milkman prank.
Is that guy on the line still, or is he gone?
He left.
He finally dropped.
He finally dropped.
Thank you.
Yeah.
That guy was tough.
He's a fucking, yeah.
He's a fucking hard nut to crack, so to say.
Okay.
All right.
Check my gourd.
Would that be?
No, no in the in the conference this in the conference. Yes. Yes. That's what gourd is. I knew that. I knew that
Gonna check it the most recent message that I sent gonna check the most recent message sent after I start playing a song
That I gotta find just bear with me
Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do want mf doom or do we want vaporware everybody make your decision now
P.I.T.C.H. FUZZ
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
You all get back into getting customer info. What could go wrong?
What could go wrong with that?
What kind of lawsuit could happen over there?
You know, lightning never strikes twice.
That's true.
Well, he could be one of those guys that gets struck by lightning several times and needs to get Geico insurance.
Maybe you get the reference. Maybe not, Baz, because you're not a true fan.
Yeah, Baz, he's too much.
Baz is like, huh?
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Brad, thank you for joining us. Good to have you here.
Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Milkman, you might be interested in this. You're really into trying to like go into these sleep cycles. What are they called?
What's that thing where you sleep?
Can't sleep choose from one of the following menu options
Press star to return to the main menu at any time
Press 1 to hear the relaxing sounds of the ocean press 2 to listen to wind chimes blowing in the wind
Press 3 to travel back in time to the 1990
Press 4 to undergo hypnosis. Press 5 for a motivational speech. Press 6 with the grandma who misses you. Press 7 to learn the history of the cocktail wiener. Press 8 to hear Jaleel White sing you a lullaby. Press 9 to merge into the conference hall with the marketing team that came up with this.
It's the sound of the 90s, I get it.
Nice, nice.
That's very 90s.
Alright, let's call back.
I wanna hear Jaleel White.
Fuck yeah.
Hello.
Can't sleep.
Nope.
Choose from one of the following menu options.
Press star to return to the main menu at any time.
I'm gonna hit star the whole time.
Press 1 to hear the relaxing sounds of the ocean.
It's the beach, not the ocean.
Hello.
Can't sleep.
Choose from one of the following menu options.
Press star to return to the main menu at any time.
This guy sounds like a pup.
Press 1 to hear the relaxing sounds of the ocean press 2 to listen to wind chimes blowing in the wind stupid
Hello, can't sleep choose from one of the following menu options
Press star to return to the main menu at any time
Press 1 to hear the relaxing sounds of the ocean press 2 to listen to wind chimes blowing take a moment
This is how to smoke weed properly
yeah
breathe
vape
man
now
I am gone
Can't sleep from one of the following when you let's try five, which is the motivation
Superstar to kick down walls and be the best you can be then say yes to success it with me
You don't look like you've been eating and make you a nice casserole cold out, you know
The History of the Cocktail Wiener
The Cocktail Wiener is a tiny sausage often times served on a toothpick or a plastic sword.
But this whimsical meat snack is so much more than a tasty treat.
As you will soon learn, the Cocktail Wiener has a long and fascinating history.
I get it, alright, I don't have time for that now.
Jaleel White
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
You're gay, you had sex with Penny Hardaway.
Hello.
Okay, alright everyone, this is a brainstorm.
Remember, there are no bad ideas.
Right, so what about my podcast thing?
That's a bad idea, everyone has a podcast.
Yeah, okay, but did you hear that one about sandwiches?
You know how you mentioned it, I'm listening to a podcast.
Hello Can't Sleep
Choose from one of the following menu options
Press Start to return to the main menu
of any sleep line
Press 1 to hear the relaxing
That was interesting
Star Shower Slideshow
Star Shower Slideshow
This is an infomercial for the Star Shower Slideshow
I have no idea what it is
Let's look at the website and figure it out
BuySlideshow.com
Stand by
You are now calling outside the regular business hours
Call Nation Madhouse Live
This call may be recorded for quality purposes.
Our easy-to-use automated ordering system is secure
and designed to offer you the lowest possible price on Windows.
Yeah, this is going to be close, too.
I can tell because the website looks identical just with a different product.
That means they're the same company.
Just my guess.
Next one, Active Bright Teeth Whitening System.
Okay.
Okay, Mr. Producer, can we get some more incoming calls at all?
That was fun.
This is actually like the real legit version of Peach Fuzz with the whole lyrics.
I don't think these infomercials are open in the apartment.
Some of them are open 24 hours, but I don't think these are.
Maybe, especially not on the weekend.
We'll try the California Charcoal Peel-Off Mask.
Thank you for calling the Black Off order line for just $19.99, plus $6.99 shipping and handling.
This call may be recorded for quality purposes.
Our easy-to-use automated ordering system is secure and designed to offer you the lowest possible price on Black Off.
To place your order, please say order or press enter.
It is currently outside of business hours.
totally
uh...
full-time website
so many demand
and thanks everyone who's tuning in right now we have a lot of people
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
I really don't think there's any in the west coast
That's kind of interesting
Looking in the 100 mile range of Seattle Washington
Nothing Boise nothing
Portland
How about Missoula
Montana
How do you spell that
M-I-S-S-O-U-L-A
Yeah you're right
Closed at one mountain time, which means they'd be getting ready to close shit.
Damn, damn, damn.
Okay, let's see.
Let's see here.
Let's try St. Louis.
St. Louis Mo.
Here we go.
Bingo.
St. Louis.
Okay.
They're getting ready to close pretty soon, but they're open still.
Excellent.
Scan up.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
It doesn't let me copy paste from their site, so I will have to manually enter it in.
Call 5-1-1 Washington, this is Mai, how may I help you?
Hello, this is Cross, I'm calling from the corporate office in Philadelphia, how are you?
I'm doing good, how are you?
Uh, we have a crisis.
Uh-oh, what's wrong?
Okay, uh, we need to pull all the, uh, cat, catacorn plush toys.
I sure hear that you have several of them in stock right now.
The cat unicorn?
Yes, catacorn, cat unicorn plush toy.
Oh, yeah.
Alright, how many do you have in right now?
I have no idea, to be honest.
You have no idea how many?
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm sorry sir but I'm not going to give me your ID I have to walk out of the store give me your ID your ID number what is your ID number yes I command you I command you you're fired you're fired you're fired don't come back um you're not my boss yes I'm with the corporate office well I understand that sir but I'm following by my store manager and my district manager okay you can call back in the morning you're stealing money you're stealing money from the company and that's not acceptable excuse me I'm not stealing what time is it I don't know
it's four minutes till
you're supposed to leave
at the top of the hour
you're leaving early
no you stay there
for four more minutes
shit
so they're all closing
right now
she's already ready to go
holy shit
I've never heard
somebody walking out
like before their shift
was up
I'm DeSalle
peace
I'm getting paid
I'm getting paid
for the wait minutes
I leave my job
like 30 minutes early
all the time
I'm Brian DeLong
but I don't take breaks
so I just
taking my time
five o'clock
how may I help you
yeah
hello
Hello, how are you?
Hi, this is Cross. I'm calling from the corporate office in Philadelphia.
Hi, I'm sorry. I couldn't get five below out. How are you?
I can tell. It's been a busy night.
Lincoln Plaza store, correct?
This is...
Good, good. I'm calling from the corporate office.
We need to pull every single cat unicorn, also known as cat-a-corn, plush toy.
Okay.
How many do you have in stock?
I have no idea.
How many do you have out right now?
Can you go to them, please?
Out Catacorn
Is it in the ad this week?
Yes it is and it has to get pulled
Okay
Cause it's copying Horsey Cat
There's a product called Horsey Cat that it's copying
Hold on just a minute okay?
Okay
Thanks
Dwight you interested in doing a fuckin' Diet Coke and Mentos call?
It's always a hoot
Uh yeah we'll give it a shot
The last ones we did were in the UK
Bafanculo
Bafanculo
The tail hits the dirty
It's a dirty
Bafanculo
How much time remaining echo?
It's almost over is wrong 19 hours of yes good. Can we call that a new station back? Oh, yes
It's been time. Okay. Let me hang up on this fight blog bullshit. I'm curious
I'm sure you guys will have better luck tomorrow during the day with that shit
I'm sure you guys will have a great time with that. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it would be normal hours when I'm bothering people.
All right, let me look at that list and get those.
Hey, I want to see me fanny lips.
Hey, it's Axba.
It's Miriam.
I'm Miriam.
Hi, Miriam.
How you doing, honey baby?
I'm all right with my fanny's almost.
Yeah, we should get a pat that dry.
Yeah.
We'll put some powder on it.
I don't remember what list he gave that to me.
Okay, here we go.
And that was Kaz this one here. Okay gotcha. All right, here we go
I remember who I spoke with but that's okay. I guess that's all right. Yeah some lady. Oh, we got a new park man list shit
Connecting was not ringing it timed out
Oh, I lost milkman milkman's calling me in the walkie-talkie I hung up on the wrong person that's stuck on connecting
All right. Hang on. Let me call milkman bucks first milkman milkman doesn't know how to use a walkie-talkie properly. Hang on
Hello
Call
is it over?
he doesn't know how to let the button up so the person can respond
yeah yeah
over
it's stuck on connect
over now
stuck on connecting
come on
phone machine's fucking up
been a problem with the phone machine
oh no
you running out of credit?
no man
because like I had like
a good amount of credit in there
I accidentally doubled
double uh
uh uh
bought credit
last time I bought credit
I bought double the amount
I hit the button twice
and it actually gave me double
it's just stuck on time out though
am I registered?
Prank Call Show
Discord.gg
Discord.gg
Discord.gg
Donate to the Doi Christmas Fund
The Weird Clown Daddy Gordo
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Call Nation Madhouse Live
All right. I'll restart the PBX server. Give me a second. Shit. Well, hang on, everybody. We'll get there.
Zax wants to know if I want $2 or $3, $1 bologna coupons. They all spend the same. They all spend the same.
Yeah, he makes them work, man. You just send them out.
I'll take them to the same place, man. I'll fucking use them off-brand, everything. I'll use bologna coupons to buy fucking deodorant.
Yeah, you'll be at Walmart like, oh, I got this bar ass. Let me get the next one.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Hey there we go
I must have hit the down button
Is this the news people?
Yeah this is Milkman
Hey I figured it out
Hey how you doing customer service
I figured it out sorry about that sir
What the hell is going on over there
What kind of miss shit running operation
We got going on there this customer service
Ghetto ass phone system
I'm following the prank
Yeah you do that I'm sure
You should file it up your app
I don't want to speak to your daggone supervisor
Hey Milkman, I liked your prank call.
You should do some more.
This is you from...
Sorry, you're on show.
Hi, this is Jackson. I'm calling back
regarding the Galleria.
Yes, I was wondering if you had any...
if you were able to get any pictures of them.
Yeah, they're on the other side
of the mall right now.
I don't have a professional...
I just got released from the penitentiary, so
I have a flip phone with
0.5 gigapixels
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Like they've been like making out and like biting each other's ear and all this kind of stuff
Like it's just like weird like eccentric type of things
That's been going on
Like throw in frozen turkeys like earlier when that like the mall closed
They were in there like a van outside and they had like all these turkeys that they were throwing around
It was crazy. Just throwing around in the parking lot. Yeah like frozen turkeys
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Malacca's I got Malacca's in the UK bass is really excited about this like
eight hours ago or something let's see if any of them pick up this is all new
numbers I can't make any guarantees oh shit even better it was Chris Chris
Como to set it really he said yeah that was fucking Chris Como from CNN to set
it homo Chrome like Google Chrome the Google Chrome Marvel's here but that
LeVar Ball or whatever made fun of his last name Google Chrome
The people in the Mixler chat are requesting bhenchods.
Yeah, the question that's going to get anybody to answer it.
Let me try to just call our IDs, maybe.
I think that might just be Nunu.
I think it's just Nunu, right?
Yeah.
It's just caliber of numbers.
Uh, shit.
I'm kind of running out of gas.
I'm running out of ideas.
I don't know.
The incoming call stopped.
I don't want to impose on the producer.
Unless it's a technical issue.
On my part, they're not coming in.
He dropped out of the conference.
He probably went to sleep by now.
Actually, to be honest with you.
Let's get his home number.
Wake him up.
Yeah, let's do that.
Yeah, let's do that.
Uh, DialVision.
Yeah, I'm sure he would appreciate it if I did that.
Uh, DialVision.
He's doing it to everyone else.
Fuck him.
Let's see if DialVision's open.
I doubt it.
It's currently outside of business.
Yeah, yeah.
No more infomercial calls.
They got me again.
Maybe this will be 48 minutes of, uh, no fucking ringing.
Oh, I fucking love that.
I heard Hillock loves when that shit happens.
Favorite part of the show.
Gotta go.
Just sitting there again.
The producer leave? Did he leave?
He did. I haven't had communication for about 45 minutes.
Yeah, I think it's up.
Alright, alright. I can handle this. I can handle this. Let me think.
Oh, it's called some Indian restaurant.
Oh, fuck them up.
Las Vegas always comes in handy here.
It's cool.
We're tow trucks, man. Tow truck people get real pissed.
Yeah, you have a good history with tow truck people.
Oh, yeah. Just yelling at him where the fuck is my car.
Oh, do I tell the people about what we did, remember?
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project
and we found a fucking nail dead center into the fountain and we needed this tow truck company to come out and tow him out of the fountain
shit i read that
so what happened is like i i pretend to be from the Bellagio instead we had this guy in our office and uh that uh we we needed him to come out you know because all our fish in the fucking fountain were gonna die
I was getting some information from him. I was like, well, I gotta go out and get a pen.
And as I fake went out of the office, Furma's picked up the phone to start shit-talking the tow truck company
about how he's gonna open his own tow truck company and shut their little operation down.
You know, all this different shit. It was fucking hilarious. It was good. It was good stuff.
And the entire time he was shit-talking back, all he was, he said he had a disability because he was from New York.
That's hilarious.
PLEASE BE TALKING TO ME, HADOU...
Fuck you man
Uhh, I know Waffle House is open?
We can try that, Waffle?
Probably gotta get some heat?
Oh yeah
Eggs with heat, always fun, yeah, let's have fun with that
Unless you guys have a better idea, I don't know
You gotta get that heat man
Ooh, Omelette House, the competitor
OOOOH
They don't open until 7, never mind
No Waffle Houses in Las Vegas really?
Come on, I thought there would be ripe for waffle houses
No shit
Like there should be a Waffle House like within but I don't know like 500 yards of a bar
Alright, here's one, Colorado
Come on something's got an answer here. We can we can we can make it go
Hi, I like to make an order. Is this Longmont? Yes. Is the potion castle near here? The what? The potion castle?
I have no idea what the potion castle is. It's in Longmont. Uh, never mind. Uh, yeah, I like to make an order though
Okay, where can I get you like an order? Let's see here one eggs. How do you have those cooked?
With heat with you want those cooks with heat
Yeah, I mean like you want scrambled over light medium hard overheat. Okay. What else can I get you one meat?
What kind of meat breakfast meat you want sausage ham bacon pork?
Pork what pork pork right? I just listed all the pork things very good. I'll take
I'll take that. Very good.
What is that? Do you want ham?
Hot meat.
Do you want sausage?
Hot meat.
Do you want bacon?
Hot meat.
Hot meat. You don't care what kind of meat it is.
Put the girl on the line. The one in the back was giggling so much. She thinks it's so funny.
So hot.
She's giggling.
Hee hee hee.
Whoa.
Buffalo House, this is Autumn.
Yeah, hey Autumn. How you doing? I love girls whose name starts with A.
I just like your name. It's very nice. Did you like that joke about the meat?
I didn't even know that it was a joke, honestly.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
I think we're all a little batty right now
I am
that's good
we're gonna ruin it for Brad
Thank you for calling Red Roof in Norfolk Deerfield, Illinois.
To reach a guest, dial the room number.
For reservations, dial 777.
Let's find Michelle and call her.
Happy Thanksgiving, Michelle.
Dude, nothing is cooperating.
Nothing is cooperating.
Call Horny Howard.
Hello, Horny Howard.
Call Charlie.
Howie Howard.
I used to call Howard only on holidays after the first encounter.
Thank you for calling Red Roof, you know.
Thank you for calling.
Can we call Charlie?
We can.
I don't know whether or not he answers.
He usually forges his cell phone during the holidays, which is good, which is good, because
I know he's closed.
I know we've called him on Thanksgiving before, and he's been closed.
Let me try this other Red Roof instead.
I'm trying to maybe, maybe we can get some, you know, room number, you know, rooms, you
know.
It's always fun.
I know Red Roof always lets you do that.
Hey, did you ever try KDK?
Thank you for calling the Red Roof Inn I turned the cell phone on a very rude hispanic lady answered the phone and told me to stop calling
You are being transferred to
Didn't we have his home number though?
I believe you did
Red Roof Inn O'Hare Ellington Heights is located at 221
You are being transferred to a guest
Don't give the address out computer machine
You are being transferred to the operator
Anyone want the operator of the Red Roof Inn?
I think she needs to flip all the switches
All of them. All three.
Beef, I just sent you a number to call.
Yeah.
Damn. Great. I don't think we've had an answer in a while now, except for the giggly girls at the Waffle House.
Come on, come on. You'll definitely get an answer.
Oh, you're telling me to spoof their ID to it now?
Aloha, you have reached Duck Kind Bell Bonds. If you're checking in, hit pound to skip this message.
If you need a bail bond, give us your name and phone number.
The
which me well I mean KK s
I can burn candles and again the number on burn and I'm
also problem like here to you so I'm saying that problem here
he burned not burn around our I'm drinking our
I wouldn't do I would recommend it the
here you are you union I was really in here
yeah now that's good cuz usually you people
like to be in the union you know so you can be lazy well
No
No
Hey
What do you got going
What are your
How much is a room
You tell me
How much is a room
What
I got $62.99
And $67.99
What's the $5 difference
I get a pool
One has a refrigerator
No
One has a refrigerator
And a microwave in it
For the $67.99
Right
And one
And it has a king size bed
And a large work desk
And the other one
Doesn't have anything
Madhouse Live
Yeah, I probably picked up.
Well, we didn't, obviously.
Shit.
Don't worry, we'll call this Italian guy who puts Mentos into that Coke.
See if he's there.
Alright, this is going great.
Let's see, back to the map.
There's another Waffle House.
Did someone else try a Waffle House?
Actually, Waffle House.
Should we go and throw some eggs or something?
Throw eggs at the breaker box?
Yeah.
Hey, this is Steve Dave from the corporate office with Waffle House.
Hello?
This is Steve Dave from the corporate office with Waffle House.
Yes, sir?
Yeah.
Hey, I was wondering, were you having problems with your computers there?
Because we're going to have to reset them.
I'm not sure. I'm the grill operator, but let me let you speak to one of the cashiers.
Oh, that's cool. I actually need the grill operator because you're closer to the switches.
Oh, I don't know anything about the register.
Yeah, the switches on the wall. You know the breaker box?
You know the big gray box with all the switches in it?
In the back?
Yeah, you've got to flip them all, like in the song. It'll just take a second.
Where's the other grill operator right here?
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Call Nation Madhouse Live
It's gonna fix the computer panel a and just start flipping it's fine
It'll go back up power and you know, it's fine. There'll be enough power left in the wire
Can you turn can you turn off every switch one at a time
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
We have no generator coming on turning no lights. I have a complete dark restaurant
Yeah, you have to turn the rest of the switches and and that'll make it come back. It'll activate the generator
I can't understand y'all. Sorry. What did you say? I said just keep flipping just keep doing it
Just keep going keep on trucking click click click keep doing it until the phone dies
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I got a whole dark restaurant.
My name's Michelle.
Okay, Michelle.
Got a bald on it.
Yeah, it's got a bald on it.
You got a hammer?
I'm glad you didn't tell me I'm screwed.
I should have her stand in a bucket of water while she does it.
Crack an egg on it.
That's the source of heat.
Pour some waffle batter on it.
That's where the heat comes from.
Call Autumn
Get her to do it
That was the first one
I like names with a servant A
That's right
Hello this is Cross calling from the corporate office
How are you?
My name is Cross calling from the corporate office
Yeah my name is Cross
How are you?
I'm good this is our location on Mississippi Avenue
Yes it is
Okay excellent
We need you to do a reset of the breakers
We're not getting your transactions to the register
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
Yeah you can Shit now let me see if i can figure out who was the first one shit ah damn the one we're going to call back to see how she was doing uh does blink give log out uh history history get the next one to stand in a bucket of water first
40 30 17 third cancel there we go here we go this is the one you talked to brad let's see if they're back up yet
I don't think Planet Fitness is open, guys.
Phone's still down.
I'd rather refuse an answer, one of the two.
They're like, fuck that phone shit.
Never again.
People calling your local Waffle House.
Your call is very...
It's going to their voicemail and stuff like that.
Here's a different Waffle House.
We can do another one of those or something different.
Whatever, I don't care.
We'll figure it out.
Waffle House.
Yeah, hi, my name is Cross.
I'm calling from the corporate office.
Is this the location on Fillmore Street?
Yes, it is.
Number 755, correct?
Yes, it is.
We have the right location. We have an issue with eggs, sir. Have you had any complaints about the eggs?
Not that I know of.
All right.
What happened?
Well, are you near one of the eggs right now, or can you get in front of one of the eggs?
Well, let me crack one open then. Hold on.
Well, I need you to... Are you there?
Yeah, I'm up there right now.
Yeah, what we need to do is we need to... If you can grab four of those eggs, I need you to actually crack them into one of the toilets.
Toilet?
Yeah, and I'll let you know what to check for.
Okay. Hold on one second.
This is a cordless phone.
Hayden
Yeah, hold on.
Yeah, it needs to be four eggs.
You just have one or four?
Four eggs.
Okay, go ahead and crack them one at a time.
Just crack them on the side of the commode and put them in there.
Alright, and don't flush.
I'll let you know when.
Yeah.
Oh, you got four in there?
Alright, and go ahead and sit down on the toilet.
Hello?
Who is this?
Oh, this is Cross.
I'm calling from the corporate office.
Man and nigga...
Oh, that was Jack.
Crack like at least two of them oh shit he can't act like he's bright man come on he already
cracked i heard two of those motherfuckers go in there oh that's good good stuff all right
egg test egg test yes all right let's uh see if shit let me see if uh the previous waffle house
Not the the last one that Brad Brad you we ready? No, I did it. I did it
Yeah, I was just gonna come in there but the lights are off I thought you guys were open every day
Oh, we all said something was just going on. Yes. We are open. Okay
Okay, is there an emergency?
What was going on?
What was going on?
Were you fucking?
Why would you act?
Were you people fucking?
In the dark?
Well, you know what?
You saw that shit!
Hey, shut up.
We're with corporate.
You saw that shit that we was doing that, huh?
Yeah, you stupid.
Tell me about the prank call.
You stupid asshole.
We're with corporate.
Yeah, so are you.
That's why you got screwed in it.
Yeah, that's why you did it, because you're stupid.
No, but you're stupider.
Stupid is stupid is just like you.
Hey, how did the customers react?
Ha ha ha, bye bye.
So you just said you're stupid.
I'm stupid, but you're stupid.
The One That Followed Stupid
All Right
So She Basically Just
Stupid Is A Stupid Does
Great
Makes A Lot Of Sense
Got Us
Yeah Totally
Stupid Is As Stupid Does
Oh Fucking Cable
Stop It
I Gotta Get You One Of Those Cables
Oh
So Carlito
We're Dog Sitting
For 10 Days
We Have
Like Another Puppy Now
Uh Huh
Damn
There's Fucking Shitting
All Over The Place
Oh Is That Potty Training
Shit
He's Freaking Out
This Is Melanie
How May I Help You
Melanie I Was Just
I'm just trying to come by and I saw the lights were off. Is this store closed?
We're open 24-7. We're having some issues with our power currently.
Okay, so you're open but the power's off. Is the food safe to eat? Are you able to cook everything?
Yeah, our grill is back and operating. Our lights are back on.
We should be back together but I can't promise the lights are going to stay on.
Okay, why did it go off? Is there a problem?
We have no idea.
You have no idea? That's, I don't know, that's pretty stupid.
Can I ask if you guys just called?
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
L'OCCITANE EN PRODUCTE
I'm a little pissed off at you so you would like to give me your number through you or
I can go through my phone book.
Because your people are stupid?
Who did it?
Autumn?
Was that Autumn who did that?
Sorry we don't have an Autumn at the store.
Can I have your phone number?
That was a different one that I did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well the authorities have been contacted so just let you know.
No.
Don't.
Come on.
I'm sorry.
It was just a practical joke.
I'm sorry.
Bro it's not a joke.
Bro.
Dude.
Dude, it's so a joke, okay?
It was just a joke. It was funny.
You just lost your store of business. Now please tell me how that was a joke.
How did I lose your business? How did I lose your business?
Have a very good night.
Hey.
How did I lose your business?
You're in trouble now.
Yeah, big trouble, guys.
It was just you that thought the lights were off and it was closed.
Nobody else.
There are no awful houses in Los Angeles.
I think I've done this before.
I've been here before, looked, and failed. Don't know why I'm trying again.
What about Honolulu?
Waffle House in Tonolulu? Tonolulu?
I don't know. Just a suggestion.
They're not in L.A. I don't know. You never know.
Here, let me, I'll look.
Fine, fine. Here's Texas. We got a ton in Texas. You know, they're big on those.
Anyone ever been to a huddle house here on the conference? I've never been to a huddle house.
No, what's that?
That's like a competitor.
Hey, how may I help you?
My name is Cross. I'm calling from the corporate office. How are you?
Pretty good. How about you?
Not bad, not bad. We have a crisis here with eggs. Have you had any complaints about the eggs?
Not that I'm aware of. Nobody said anything.
Are you nearby any of the eggs? Can we check?
Do you want me to check the eggs?
I need you to crack the eggs in a certain manner, and I'll let you know what to look for to see if they're affected.
And your name was Chris?
Cross.
Cross.
Yes.
Give me just a moment.
Thank you.
This is not quite doing that.
I need you to crack two of the eggs onto the grill.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I love you guys but come on I mean look at our record tonight we've had tremendous luck with the female Waffle House ladies the minute they get a guy well actually no the black dude cracked a couple in the toilet that was the stupidest one well nevermind let me not say that what I was thinking about saying shit I'm trying to move on from that kind of humor
well you just made a call think it
Hello, thank you for calling the Waffle House on 34. How can we help you? Yes. Hello. This is cross
I'm calling from the corporate office. I'm here on the line with my associate Roy. Okay. Okay. He's with fluid dynamics
He's in our science department. We have a issue with eggs. Are you nearby any of the eggs, please? We need to do a check
Well, they're actually
They were confused with a shipment from Asia and they actually have fertilized embryos in them
Cracker Barrel
Grab a spatula, I need you to smash one of the eggs, leave the other one unsmashed.
And what's the egg doing?
Just like normal, right, with the shells around it.
Do you see any blood, red, anything like that?
No, I didn't.
Alright, now go ahead and tell the other egg to move.
Tell it.
He didn't do shit.
He didn't do shit.
He's not following directions very well.
Yeah, I know.
I'm going to assume he did all of that.
He hung up so he could talk to the egg in private.
He put the phone down he's he's leaning down next to you listen um i'm gonna need you to move
real quick uh my boss is on the phone if you don't do it i'm gonna be in a lot of trouble
i kind of need you to go he leaned down to do that and hold the phone calling your local
waffle house your call is very important to us so we are currently assisting other customers
well that means they're taking an order right now um i want to call back that one you know that one
The Lady Who Has This Reported To The Authorities
Do It
The One That Couldn't Do Switch Number 3
That's Pretty Scary The Authorities
Uh Autumn I Can Go Back I Think I Can Go Back
Autumn Didn't Do Anything
You Just Want To Talk To Autumn
Hello
Hey How Are You Good To Talk To You
Oh I Am So Fine And You
My Name Is Cross From The Corporate Office
Yes
Yes Do You Have Power There
We Have Who
It's Been A Normal Night
Can you make the power go?
Can you make the power who?
Go.
Can we make the power who?
Go. Go away. Go away power bag.
Why would we want to do that?
Because it's garbage power.
And because you're not used to having power in your house.
I know how you people are.
Oh you people, but then I guess to say
because you might have been my neighbor
so we was running the block
so none of the block had power
so you know what I'm talking about.
The block is shit.
That's why you're mentioning it to me, right?
I don't understand.
Because you're as evil as I am, right?
I don't understand this language you're speaking.
You want to say you people?
Let me tell you about us.
I'm going to have to go in the back because I don't want the customers to hear this.
Okay, angry gorilla.
She's ashamed.
Okay, Miss Angry Gorilla.
Why is she going in the back?
Because they take motherfuckers like you.
Simmer down.
I hope you're recording this.
They take someone ignorant like you.
Ignorant?
Like this.
You have nothing better to do with your life.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
yes yes a woman I really would like to know a woman stood up on a chair I'm
trying to say I'm trying to talk ignorant a woman just the term you
people fucking just send people over the edge you you want the house people
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Green Bee Dwight the Janitor
Firmus
AXPA
Who's this one guy?
Baz here still.
And was there anyone else that was on earlier?
The Horse.
The producer was helping out with incoming numbers.
That was fun.
Well, it lasted.
Discord.gg slash pranks.
And PayPal.me slash Dwight PCN.
Me, me, me.
PayPal.me, me, me.
All right, guys.
I'm going to disconnect here so we can wrap things up.
I'll see you later.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Shows
and enjoy that
Milkman go ahead and take us out of here please sir
right now
let me see that I haven't
that I haven't mentioned yet
oh dude there were
oh man I had numbers and I didn't know
shit I had more numbers from Parkman
I forgot to got to
dude I can't
it's time for Brad to go on he's been staying up to do this
it's very important
yeah we had
Matt's it we actually have got a few yet and the gator bull big casey here
we've got two new horse members yeah and then gator folk in case he'll on
what day the big day in the uh... katie k
for uh... is helping to choose
i don't think
or what
the
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Always welcome here in the Madhouse
Couldn't do it without all our friends out there
Our militia and horse members
And all of our standards of force
Everybody's been out there after all these years
Could not do it without you
Everybody showed up in the chat
All our friends stopped by
We had Dwight, Baz
I'm sorry guys, there's so many people in there
I can't remember them all
I can't remember them all
You're a crazy old man
That's right, crazy old fucking old man
I want to thank everybody for stopping in.
We do this right here every week
for every chance we get.
And we're going to do it with our first leader,
D. Hermanito, the Generalissimo.
D. Matt, my brother,
thank you so much for giving us your time
and stopping by
and making a wonderful thank you
once again.
You know what? You're a good cure for indigestion.
I didn't have indigestion.
Good. I hope I contributed to that.
Hopefully. No, really, that's good, because you get really bad indigestion.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Comments 0
Nobody has said anything yet.
Log in to comment or to suggest fixes.