You Done Messed with the Wrong Person
10 Dec 2017 · 45 min · 2,998 words · source
Transcript
What's a number fool? We don't have the number fool. I'm a woman. What does that have to do with that?
Well, I got it. I got it. We have different, you know, different.
It doesn't matter. Are you serious? Are you OK?
And I am going to call the district manager.
No, no, no.
You already done messed with the wrong person.
Oh, come on. I'm sorry.
You already came and interrupted these people's day.
I'm not playing no fucking games, man.
I, I, fuck you, son of a bitch.
Stop making us get the cuttings. You're out of your crazy mind.
You ain't getting no goddamn dollars.
You're listening to the Madhouse Radio Prankcast.
You're calling Dollar Tree, Doctor speaking.
Yeah, Dollar Tree.
I'm Kirklands.
I'm over here right a couple doors down.
I'm the manager.
My name is Cross.
Uh-huh.
You guys need to come over here because I got your mail,
and I'm really sick and tired of getting your guys' mail.
I don't know what the problem is that you guys keep saying having your mail sent over here.
We're not Dollar Tree.
You understand?
Stan Lowe
I'm down there I wasn't rude the first four times a shit happened
we're 31 you don't have to be rude sir were sweet 123 I don't know what part
that's so hard to understand stupid ok but it's not our fault that our mail
goes down there well you're 131 you need your 131 you're not one time we're 131
we're one two three you need to speak to the UPS listen listen to me it's not my
I am listening to you, but I'm not going to listen to you if you're rude.
Go ahead. I mean, it's against the law. It's not yours.
I did not say I was not going to go get it.
I will send somebody to go get it, but you need to change your attitude.
And you're a manager? Really?
I've got a lot of stress. It's the holidays. I've got a lot of shit I've got to do.
How rude is that? And you're a manager?
I'm not trying to be rude. I've just got a lot of shit I've got to do.
And we're over here sitting on our asses? Really?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
So go ahead and do it.
There goes another one.
There goes another one.
That's the electric bill right here.
Listen, listen.
Out of here.
Okay, well then how about this?
I'll call our district manager.
I'll tell them how you were and then they'll deal with it.
You sent someone to get the mail now.
This is what's going to happen.
Send someone now.
Who are you sending?
Did you tell them yet?
I'm waiting.
I'm on the phone with you.
How am I supposed to tell anybody?
I'm on the phone with you, arguing with you.
When you're being an ass.
Call someone.
Don't call me.
Don't curse at me.
You're yelling at me.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
You have our mail.
Why do you have our mail?
We have your mail?
Yeah, this is, you guys are 123 Kirklands.
We're a $131 tree, god damn it.
Okay, um.
I'm sending someone over there, one of my best people over there, to get our mail from you.
That you people have.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
If you don't have any mail, we will send it to you.
That's impossible.
Why won't you just bring it over if you have mail?
We don't have any of your mail.
The email address is at the description of this video.
Hi, is this Dollar Tree?
We just sent somebody.
To Kirkland's?
Yes.
Alright.
I have the associate here from Kirkland's.
She's on the phone with me too.
Alright, so maybe she can explain what's going on here with the mail.
Well, the thing is that you need to talk to the mailman.
If you call them they're not going to get the message to the mailman.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm the manager here alright and it's the holidays it's busy and I got a lot of shit I gotta do
That's fine sir
You can drop it off whenever you want
No you send someone here I'm gonna start shredding
Shredded that's fine sir
Send someone here now to get the mail
You do whatever you need to do
Motherfucker you send a person here to get the mail
Happy holidays have a great day
Go to hell
Dammit
I'm calling from Catherine's I'm the manager here
Okay yes sir
Alright why do we have your mail again you guys need to get this shit out of here
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm sorry sir, but we'll definitely have someone go pick it up.
Well hurry up, let's go.
God damn it.
I got a lot of shit I gotta fucking do.
You need to get this shit out of here or I'm going to start shredding in five minutes.
I'm so sorry sir, but please don't talk to me like that.
Yeah, five minutes before I start shredding.
We will send somebody over there to go pick it up.
I'm going to shred everything.
I'm going to shred everything.
I'm going to shred everything.
Damn it.
Yeah, this is Cross again.
I just realized, my bad.
No, you know what?
I already know your game.
Just know I already called the police.
This is our mail.
This is our mail.
I'm sorry.
This is our mail.
Where are you from?
Well, I don't mean...
This is our mail.
There was a big mistake.
No, where are you from?
It's a big...
What store are you in?
Big mistake.
Big mistake.
I'm sorry.
It's our mail.
No, no.
I already called the police.
They're going to come and they're going to take the phone call.
No, no.
No, come on.
No.
No.
No.
Come on.
No.
I already have two other stores inside this store coming towards me and asking about the
mail.
Okay, but it was a big mistake.
I thought it was our mail.
No, no.
I am going to call the police and I am going to have a crazy call.
Come on.
Come on.
I am going to call the district manager.
No, no, no.
You already done messed with the wrong person.
Oh, come on.
I'm sorry.
You already came and interrupted these people's day.
I just thought it was our mail, your mail.
It's our mail.
All right.
I'm in the same plaza.
I was just watching.
I thought it was funny.
That's all.
I work here in this plaza.
I didn't want to tell you what was going on.
That's all.
I'm sorry.
No.
Yeah.
No, because you said you were from Kirkland.
You called the mail people.
Yeah.
So either way, I called the police.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Listen I don't care
Hello I'm calling from the Target
My name is Cross I'm the supervisor here
We got a bunch of your stuff over here
Just delivered why
I want you guys to come get this shit out of here
Hurry up
I'm the manager
I'm the manager at Ross
I'm the manager at Target
I'm the Target manager
Are you the manager at Ross
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Yes, hi, I'm calling from the target here on military.
We just got a phone call here about mail, a weird phone call.
No, if anything, it's a prank.
And you might have to call either your higher manager or a district manager to let them know what's going on.
What is this about? You guys were very rude on the phone with us here.
No, that wasn't us. It's a prank phone call because we've been getting the same phone calls too.
But this person said that we're calling from Dollar Tree in the same plaza and that there was a problem with the mail.
You know what? I know you're the same guy.
Yeah, I got you though. I got you, stupid.
You know the police are on their way you can't stop
Let's revisit another old idea
Hi, do you have any more services today? Do you have any more services today? Do you have a late service today service?
Yeah, well this churches chicken at church. Yeah. Well, yeah, cuz I miss I woke up late today
I was drinking last night a little hungover and I wanted to see if I could catch like a late service somewhere
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I know it is.
But where's the Chinese person that answers the phone?
Sorry, what?
Where's the Chinese person that answers the phone?
Okay, one second.
Okay.
Can I help you?
Ni hao? Ni hao?
Yes, how can I help you?
I'd like to make an order, please.
Okay.
Okay, one fu.
What kind of fu?
Fu, fu, number fu.
What's the number fu? We don't have the number fu.
Number fu, number four? Is it number four?
Number fu, okay.
Number four fu, okay.
Number four, it's in beef with garlic sauce.
That's the one, yes. Thank you.
Okay, that? One of those?
And what else?
Number 69?
You pay or you make an order, sir?
No, no.
I'm so busy.
Do you have number 69? That's what I'm asking.
I don't have the number 69.
You never do that?
No, sir.
Come on. You never have beef and broccoli?
I do have the beef and broccoli, but not the number 69.
Okay, well, I thought it was beef and broccoli.
I thought number 69 was beef and broccoli.
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
1256
Excellent
Okay I'll be there in about 15
Thank you
She's not gonna make it
She knew what 69 meant
69 man
She almost called me my bullshit
When I was saying fu
Oh man
This is plank
Very very busy here
Okay enough
Let's stop repeating
What is this
Dwight McClanahan
Will repeat the whole prank
Oh I'm sorry
God damn it
Oh shit
Hey Echo
Start a Chinese tiner
For 12 minutes 12 seconds
Alright I'm not getting an answer here
Let's move on
Let me get to that request that came in.
I don't like doing these requests off of everyone anymore
because this is how a lot of people have gone down.
It's a shame, but I'm not as receptive to take numbers from just anybody anymore.
You know, listeners and fans, I got a lot of love for you guys,
but after things that have happened, I don't like to take those chances.
I try to keep it down to a select few group of trusted, known people.
What the hell?
What do I got to lose?
Let's try a plank call.
If I can get my ass motivated here enough to do it right, let's see.
Wanted to call a bowling alley, but that fell through.
What kind of guitar center are we now?
Is this Blake and Paradia?
Yeah, I saw an ad here about someone looking for band members.
What?
Why?
I saw an ad.
Yeah, there was an ad on the wall for, you know, someone.
Oh, we have a bunch of those.
Yeah, well, I'm calling about that.
How can I tell you about myself?
Number on whatever.
Well, yeah, I'm calling.
This is the store.
This is the guitar center.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Black Barbie
Black Barbie
Yeah
I'm not sure what that is
It's just like the Barbie doll
But she's black
Nope we don't
Shit
Do you have any information
About Black Barbie
I do not
Damn
Could you recommend a store
Walmart
Perhaps
Walmart
Walmart
And that's here
The Walmarts
Okay alright
I'll look that up
I'll look up Walmarts
Great
Alright thank you
Yep
Bye
Nice
Thanks for calling Target Store
Thanks for calling Target
How may I help you
I need to see if you have a certain toy that this girl is asking for.
Let me get to a device that way I can let you know.
Yeah, I get to a device.
What is the toy that you're looking for?
Black Barbie.
Black Barbie?
Yeah.
I'm going to put you on hold real quick.
I'm going to go to the device and then I'll be right back with you.
Okay, put it in just like that, Black Barbie.
Is that what? Okay.
Or maybe Negro Barbie?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe Black. I want to say Black.
Okay.
Let me see.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Church's a like you coming right coming Beach coming Beach it wasn't like that yeah is this the
Cholo plays oh I heard I was looking for Cholo ta ta Korea I heard there a lot of Cholo's here
no oh just regular I'm sorry I was just kidding oh yeah I was just kidding hey can make an order
are you yeah I want to make an order honey baby all right one language yeah where do you put
What the lengua's that? In the bag?
yes
Will you put them all over me? My body?
Put the lengua all over my body yeah
Yeah what a waste of time there everybody
Wooo
Always for Paco
I'm a big fat German bitch
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom
I love ref man
My Chinese timer is done
Great
Hear that everybody? Let's keep that going
As long as I can stand it
Hello? Hello, how may I help you? Yeah, I called earlier there to make an order. Called to make an order? Yeah, I had the garlic beef sauce and the beef and broccoli. Uh, yes. Is that ready yet for me to pick up? Um, give it about five minutes and it's almost ready. Uh, about five minutes? Yeah. Okay, I'll call back. Alright, I'll talk to you then. Thank you. Okay, thank you.
Echo, stop. Echo. Echo. Set a stupid Chinese timer for five minutes.
We're going to cancel it. We're going to go, ha, ha.
How about an order for some heat? We always love that, don't we?
Or how about, that could be the corporate office. That's always fun.
Corporate office it is.
Yes, hi, I'm calling from the corporate office. How are you?
Good. You want to talk to the manager?
Well, no, this is going to be quick. We need to do a quick power restructure over there.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Target Store
No, I don't want to call Target.
Para continuar en español, oprime el 7.
I don't want to call them.
God damn it.
God damn it.
Hello?
Yes.
Yeah, how can I help you?
Hello?
Is this Whataburger?
God damn it.
Why does she answer the phone like that?
Yeah, is this Whataburger?
All right, well, I just called over there and someone hung up on me.
I'm calling from the corporate office.
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
I don't think she intended to hang up on you.
Okay, that's fine.
No problem.
I can help you?
Let us slide, buddy.
All right.
We need to do a reset of the breakers there. Your POS system is not transmitting back over here.
Do you know where the breakers are?
I don't.
Can we locate them?
Well, no, just I need your building breakers. You know where the breaker box is, son?
Wait, okay, I've been back, okay.
Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
All right.
So you head over there right now and just tell me how many rows of panels in that panel you got there.
I tell you what can you call me on my cell phone that way I can stand in front of them and it'd be a lot easier
All right. Can you give me a second to get someone to write with there? All right. Okay. What what is that number, please?
All right, sounds good. I'll be down you right now the computers already call
There we go good, all right, so if you can locate those please
All right
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
136-510-3133-3537
That's it.
Okay, all right.
Next panel.
Next panel, yep.
I leave them all off?
Yeah, leave them all off.
Keep going.
10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 34, 36, 38.
That's it.
Done.
All right, and that's all the breakers there?
All the breakers on this first panel.
Okay, all right.
So we're going to leave those off.
Closed Captioning by Kris Brandhagen.com
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by Kris Brandhagen.com
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I made an order for beef and garlic and beef and broccoli.
Yeah, I'm on my way right now.
I'm sorry.
What's wrong?
Oh, boy.
Where's the fucking music?
This?
That's where I like it.
Anyway, I think I'm done anyway.
Like, I'm done.
I don't want to do any more calls.
Thanks for those of you who tuned in to this hour-long escapade of show pranks.
It was really quick.
Yeah, seriously, thanks for tuning in, and I'll catch you guys next time.
Next show?
I don't know.
Maybe probably Christmas Eve or something like that.
I'll make an announcement.
Thanks for tuning in.
Bye.
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