Get The Snow Outta Here
7 Feb 2018 · 2 h 43 min · 11,816 words · source
Calls (28, 1 h 35 min of 2 h 43 min)
- Indian tech support asked about Deepak Sharma live 3.8 min clip ↓
- IT school ordered classes and papadums live 4.3 min clip ↓
- Apartment complex snow removal complaint live 14.6 min clip ↓
- Pizza place ordered with snow complaint live 1.8 min clip ↓
- Venus Adult Theater ballot box request live 2.3 min clip ↓
- Kmart store closing inquiry live 7.6 min clip ↓
- Kmart employee Rhiannon about glory hole live 1.1 min clip ↓
- Filling station manager asked for Jaiad live 5.1 min clip ↓
- Larkin Security snow complaint live 33 s clip ↓
- Larkin Square facilities asked about snow live 3.3 min clip ↓
- Uncle Sam's Army Navy jacket inquiry live 2.1 min clip ↓
- Buffalo Bilingual Center asked about snow live 1.6 min clip ↓
- McDonald's customer demands snow removal live 2.6 min clip ↓
- Family Dollar automated menu ivr 1.6 min clip ↓
- Apartment resident 112 asked about man live 9.3 min clip ↓
- Calls Kmart about job hiring live 2.8 min clip ↓
- Complains about snow to property manager live 2.3 min clip ↓
- Pharmacy missing, asks about Lysol live 1.1 min clip ↓
- Colorado Springs dispensary info live 2.8 min clip ↓
- Kmart asked about Lysol live 48 s clip ↓
- Madhouse Live playback of Jordan quote live 4.1 min clip ↓
- Kmart closing April 8th asked about AC live 3.1 min clip ↓
- Kmart asked for diapers and peeing live 2.1 min clip ↓
- Kmart asked about bathroom fixtures live 1.1 min clip ↓
- Kmart store manager asked about group relocation live 2.6 min clip ↓
- Kmart employee asked about group move live 48 s clip ↓
- Christian astrologist asked about devil live 6.6 min clip ↓
- Sleep doctor mattress prank call live 4.6 min clip ↓
Transcript
My name is Isis.
I am blessed to be coming.
You have a gentleman cursing at me on the phone.
Asking me when the fuck I'm going to get snow on.
And I'm about to curse the fuck out.
We should be soldiers, but I'll bet out.
I've got a problem.
Dirtiest people I didn't get to.
Who is this calling my phone with that nasty mouth?
Guess what?
The snow plow is going around the fucking places right now.
Is there a man I can talk to?
Or perhaps some...
I beg your pardon?
Hold on just a moment.
Okay.
I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live
I hope my speech can compete with that bad mouth style that we get from Carlito
That's my big amigo, so just kick back to listen to this cat call
People, when this show goes live, I'll be like, damn, this shit's bitchin'
Stop whatever I'm doin' to tune in and listen
You can catch me in the back of his home at Horse Machine Ranch Road
I'm bustin' mad fat flows for assholes and banchos
My spit crazy, shout out to Big Amy, that's nice, honey baby
Madhouse Live
Hello, how are you?
I'm good, who is this?
Hi, hi, my name is Krauss
Is this Indian tech support people?
No
Is this the Indian company? India from India? Asia India?
No, who are you looking?
I'm looking to hire some consultants
No, this is not an Indian company
Who are you from, Bangladesh?
Your question is what you are looking for
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
Well, do you know who Deepak Sharma is?
Deepak Sharma? No, I don't know any Deepak Sharma.
You don't maybe go to the same church as him? You live in the same city?
I don't know anybody by this name, Deepak Sharma.
Okay, I know you guys like to congregate with each other. You go to the same church and all that.
I don't know. He recommends to me that I call Indian people to fix computer, you know?
No, we don't fix computer. We are a software development and web and mobile app development company.
Okay, good.
Well, I'm trying to develop several applications for financial industry.
So why not you email your stuff in the email you have in the paper?
Why not you talk?
Why you put phone number in paper and then you don't want to talk?
Don't take me wrong.
I cannot talk to you.
I am doing something.
I cannot...
You cannot call somebody and ask them to talk to me in one hour or half an hour.
What are you doing?
What you are trying to tell me.
Are you doing...
Don't take me wrong.
This is not the way to talk to people.
Are you doing bhenchod?
Bhenchod right now?
No.
I find you a very rude person.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
How can I make an appointment?
Do you have Indian woman sister, lovely sister for me?
Ben, Bendy to speak to?
I think you have a problem.
When you're done having sex with sister, then maybe she can talk to me to make an appointment.
Do you want to finish, bhenchod?
Or do you have lovely mother to talk to?
Hello?
I will call again and he will pearl in an answer.
He was the rude one.
He started off the rude with me.
Very nasty.
Got a little bit of a crisis here.
Just noticed that something's missing.
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic message system.
5
5
Normal call clearing.
Okay.
Thank you.
Attention all units.
Attention all units.
This is Sergeant Stadenko.
Attention all units.
This is Sergeant Stadenko.
We are changing from a code 3 direct pursuit to a code 347.
Lately lost.
We're doing comatose.
Stop the normal call clearing.
Stop all the downloading.
Help computer.
Thank you for calling.
Hello.
This is Sergeant Stadenko.
Hi.
Hello.
Hi.
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Okay, so I spoke to a friend of mine. He's a lawyer. His name is Deepak Chopra.
Okay, and I told him about my business venture that I have. I've created specialized soaps and personal cleaning wipes, things of that nature, sanitation thing.
And I was telling him, you know, I'm trying to find a good avenue to sell this, like I want to make sure I hit the right market.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Um, okay. So, um, he suggested that I find, uh, he said that the Indian people are, he said his people, the Indian people are the dirtiest ones and that they would be the ones more likely to, um, buy soap and cleaning products now that they're here in the United States.
So I started looking and I found your publication that targets the Indian speakers, Indians in the United States. And that is why I'm calling.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Okay, can you send the email now so I can let you know if I receive it sure you don't have any any work
Yeah, wasting your time and other people's time. No. No, I'm not wasting time. I don't have work today
I think you have a lot of time. I'm snowed in I'm snowed in it's snowing fine motherfucker
It's snowing and they snowed in find something else. You know no nothing I something else. I'm working here
This is my work. Don't don't waste your time. Don't you waste my time?
Next Episode
The way you are talking, I can do much better than you.
You can't do anything.
You can't do anything.
You have nothing on me.
You have nothing on me, motherfucker.
Horse's asshole.
Everyone listen to this tune.
I need a second, please.
Thank you.
Thanks everyone for tuning.
This is an impromptu afternoon show here, or a late morning, depending on where you are in the United States machine.
I'm Carlito.
I am here alone for the moment.
I'm going to be doing some pranks.
I have some ideas.
I did see that Dirty Aaron is around.
I can give him a call and have him join any others any other friends of the madhouse friends of the madhouse members of the commonwealth of independent prank callers are more than well you know who you are if you have to wonder if you're one of them then you're not one of them probably sorry but if you're around hit me up on skype and I can join you as well have you join as well thank you dirty Aaron actually is not going to be on because he said I suck jackass thank you Aaron if you want to be on hit let me know and I'll dial you in or just give me a call on the skizzle on the skizzite
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm doing a show because I'm snowed in work was cancelled today we have many
snows on the ground turning into sleet and then freezing rain later oh he might
have blocked me let me turn the page the app that I use a to do this it makes a
page turning sound listen I didn't do it that time let's see that's an article
this one this company I've called before a few times let's call them back with
that dirty premise and I'm using the caller ID of an adult bookstore so
Caller ID
The Venus Adult Theater and Bookstore
I order you to enroll me in it.
I thought that was an Indian school.
Let's call their other office.
So this school sits around and says, where should we advertise?
Oh, Indian people.
Big surprise.
Hi, I'd like to make an order.
One cybersecurity and CCNA security.
Are you interested in inquiring about classes?
Yeah, I'm trying to make an order.
One cybersecurity and CCNA security class.
Okay, I can take your name and phone number.
Listen, listen.
One Java core programming class.
Can I explain something to you?
Okay, I'm not done yet.
Oh, wait, one Oracle DBA 12 class with extra hot.
Okay, and then one order of papadums.
Okay, come pick it up when you're ready.
How much is the total?
Ben Chowd
Do you have Transaction SQL?
Do you have Transaction SQL?
My name is Kulu.
Hurry up.
We specialize in IT, medical, and business application training,
providing education for veterans, government-sponsored programs,
corporations, and private clients.
To join our courses, please hold. We'll be right with you.
Sexy, sexy.
Guest match is approved.
Okay, do I get three guesses? Because my first guess is Brian.
Yeah, hey, how you doing?
Who is this?
This is Brian.
Hi, it's Michelle.
Oh, Michelle, what's up?
Hi.
Hi, I was joking.
I put you on hold and I was like, I just need a second. I just need a second.
There's no way.
Uh-huh.
No way that I'm getting duped. What's going on?
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I think jazz is queuing up, but I don't really want to hear that.
I had some music picked out, I thought.
Okay, there it is.
You like it raw.
I like unpretended sex.
Oh look at this guy. Maninder Singh. Accountant and tax. Does he have a phone number? Yes he does. Let's do it.
Afternoon. How can I help you? Yeah is this the place with the Indian guy? Is this the place with the Indian guy? Yes how can I help you? Yeah I need to talk to the Indian man. And who's calling please? My name is Kulo. I'm supposed to talk to the Indian accountant man with the thing on his head. He told me to give him a call regarding an urgent issue. And your name again I'm sorry?
C.U.L.O. Coolo
I should've said bhenchod
Hello?
Yes, hi.
Hi.
Hi, is that Indian Accountant?
Yeah, who's this?
Oh, hey, my name is Ben.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh, do you do the papers?
Papers? What papers?
Yeah. Uh, I need to have the papers, uh, touched and moved around and calculated.
What company are you calling from?
Uh, Kutia and Associates.
One second.
Okay.
Is this freaking... Hello?
Hello?
Yeah. Hey.
What is this reference to?
The papers?
I need you to make the papers go.
Yeah, but what paper are you talking about?
This one right here. I'm showing you right here.
The numbers are on it here.
I'm sorry?
I'm showing it to you right now, right here.
Look, on the camera phone.
Where are you calling from, sir?
From New York.
Yeah, I know, but are you a client of ABC's?
Yeah.
Hold on one second.
Hey, listen.
What's the confusion?
One second.
What's the confusion, I said?
Please hold.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Meetings don't start at 1.20 in the afternoon.
They start at 1 o'clock, 1.30, maybe 1.15.
But don't give me that shit.
Ooh, H1B1. I could do that.
Welcome to the immigration law firm.
Hi.
Yes, who is this?
Hi, my name is Ben.
Can you help me, Ben?
Yeah, I need H1B1.
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Laugh Track
Did you get the green card through that lady whom you married?
Yeah, I did.
You have already got the green card?
Yeah.
When?
Libya. Libya? Libya?
What's your phone number, Ben?
Uh, Ben? My phone number is Ben.
I don't understand.
I'm kind of stupid. I'm kind of stupid, you know?
Okay, then we cannot talk to you.
Well, you're an asshole, is what it is.
Is there a man I can talk to? Fuck.
That was going nowhere because I spent most of the time not paying attention
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Cause Tony can't be out there pushing that f***ing lands and dreams
Not grants and schemes, I'm on the search for the meaner love
Thank you for two plus, my name is Mrs. Annette, how can I help you?
Yeah, when are you gonna get the f***ing snow out of here?
Excuse me?
When are you guys gonna get the f***ing snow out of here?
What snow?
The snow that's outside
When the sun melts it?
No, you guys need to come f***ing get it out
You need to plow it or whatever you f***ing do right now
I mean, where do you think you're calling?
The apartment complex I live at
Which apartment complex?
Oh, I'm right
No, I don't have any snow on my heel. Fuck. Where's the snowing at then? Where the fuck is it snowing at then?
My name is cross. I'm in 112 and you people need to get the snow out of this motherfucker
You got the wrong property. See you got the wrong property. No, you're foolish. I don't have a 112
Ignorant you fucking ignorant you sound funny. You stupid so funny. You're stupid. You're funny. You're funny
No, you're fucking ignorant. You're proud to be ignorant to aren't you? I thought it was you snowing in, Ohio
I looked at weatherchannel.com and it was showing snow in Ohio, so whatever.
Yeah, when are you going to get the snow out of here?
I'm sorry?
When are you going to get the snow out of here?
Maintenance is power right now.
Well, hurry up, goddammit, because I need to get this shit done.
I got to get the fuck out of here.
Motherfuckers.
What am I paying you for?
What are you doing?
Get out and start making the snow go.
Yeah, maintenance is on it, guys.
Yeah, alright, good.
I found an area that has a snow machine.
Good afternoon.
Thanks for calling 11th and 15th Departments.
This is Aisha.
Let's go.
Aisha, you need to get out of here and start getting some of this fucking snow out, man.
Let's go.
Bitch.
Bitch.
When are you going to get the snow out of here?
Let's go.
When are you going to get the snow out of here?
Let's go.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's fucking go.
Get the fucking snow out of here.
I got shit I got to do.
This is Cross.
I need to get you.
You motherfucker.
What are you doing?
You need to get out here get the fucking snow out of here motherfucker. What who is it take me off speakerphone?
Who is calling my phone with that nasty mouth lazy bitch? This is cross cross
Cross cross that's all you need is cross. Yeah, don't call it again get the fucking snow out of here motherfucker. Oh
Cross I said
I gotta buy weed
Let's go
You guys gotta get the snow out of here
Let's go
Yeah that's what I said
We gotta get this shit out of here
I gotta go out and buy weed
And get Percocets from CVS
What are you doing
Yeah hurry up and get the fucking snow out of here
Snow out of where out of Buffalo
Out of the fucking apartment
There's snow in your apartment
It's outside
Madhouse Live
The problem is the snow is still here, they're not working fast enough, and I need to go out to buy weed, pick up pizza, and pick up Percocets from the CVS.
Hurry the fuck up.
We're holding here for the apartment building manager, who I'm sure is getting the skinny here, regarding my attitude.
Hello?
Hi, yeah, this is Nick, the general manager. Can I help you?
You sound like you're 12 years old.
Excuse me?
You sound like you're 12 years old, Nick.
May I ask who this is?
Yeah, this is Cross, and you guys need to get the fucking snow out of this motherfucker.
I need to get out of here.
I got to go buy weed, I got to pick up a pizza that I'm going to order, and I need to go
pick up my meds at CVS.
I got Percocets waiting for me.
May I ask who's calling?
Cross, Cross.
Dude, get a pen or a pencil or open up Notepad on your laptop or whatever you're doing there
and stop asking me the same fucking questions over and over again.
Sir, I don't know who you're speaking to, Cross.
You see sir one more time motherfucker. You mean I'm going to disconnect the call you're done. No, you're not normal
No, you're not. No, you're not. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't you do it. You help me out
What apartment are you from? I'm in this house, which apartment 112 which building would be honest with you
I don't know. I don't pay attention to that part. I'm not on the way you live here. I'm not on the lease
You're not on the way. I'm subleasing
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Psss, pss, pss, psss, what's that?
Listen, you have a duty to make sure that the snow removal is taken care of quickly and promptly.
And you need to do that.
Because that's what I'm paying my sublease for to in turn be passed over to you to pay their yearly.
Sir, subleases are illegal.
We do not allow them on our lease.
Well, the Japanese surrendered.
The Japanese surrendered.
Sir, I cannot identify who you are.
You're not on a lease here.
112.
Madhouse Live
83
83
83
We do not have an 83
I'm not having you 83 LaSalle
We do not have an 83
You're full of shit motherfucker I know where I am
Alright I'm sorry sir
Get the fucking snow out of here motherfucker you
It's certain you guys
You know when you say
You know when you say the same thing over and over again
And it sounds weird to ya
Just happened to me
Just happened to me
Am I gay?
83 is our new PC and chip
83
83
83! 83!
Fuck yeah. That's our new horse.
What if I just call random businesses and tell them to get the fucking snow out?
Let's call a pizza place and tell them to get the fucking snow out of here, motherfucker.
I'm gonna die, dude. That pizza looks good. I gotta get that screen out of here.
Yeah, when you guys gonna get the fucking snow out of here?
I'm sorry?
When you gonna get the fucking snow out so I can come get the pizzas?
warrant
Our
uest
ck
delivery
he
what
he
is
a
good
d
a
w
g
s
I want to go there and get something to eat, but you guys got to get the fucking snow out of there.
I can't walk through that shit, motherfucker.
Get that shit fixed.
Let's go.
Do you really think talking that way is going to get you anything, motherfucker?
Do
it
Don't curse at me, all right?
Don't be ignorant.
Are you having fun right now?
No, I want you to get the fucking snow out, motherfucker, you.
No, that's not going to happen.
Get that shit done.
Please, please, motherfucker.
Please, motherfucker.
I want you to fall.
Motherfucker, you.
Travel through the snow.
I hope I fall through your fucking window.
Travel through the snow, buddy.
What was your name?
I hope you fall through my window, too.
What's your name, asshole?
Huh?
What's your name, asshole?
Asshole, that's my name.
Yeah, okay, cool.
I want to make an order, please.
Nope.
Yeah, five large pizzas with everything on them.
You want anchovies, too?
Everything, everything.
Five.
Everything?
Five large, yeah.
Tea bags?
You want tea bags?
No, I don't want that shit.
I want all the toppings on it.
Ignorant, stupid ignorant.
There's tea bags that come on them.
Well, I don't want that.
Well, then you can't have everything.
Why would you put a fucking tea bag on a pizza?
Because that's everything.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
That's how that goes.
Nobody reaching out to me yet on Skype to join.
Not that I need them.
Not that I ever needed them.
I'll do this by myself till the day I die if I have to.
Okay.
We'll call a different apartment complex instead.
From the Venus Adult Bookstore and Theater.
The Venus Adult Theater and Bookstore
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Hello?
Hi, can I help you, sir?
Yes, I need an honest ballot box.
You mean you need a ballot box, sir?
Yes.
Is this for an election for a co-op, condominium, and association?
That's right.
Which is it? Which one?
That's the one.
First of all, I can't rent a box.
Do some of these boxes get off path, go astray?
Why would my ballot boxes go astray?
Well, you know, hey, you ever, you know...
No, sweetheart.
What we do, we do the election from the beginning to the end.
You touch nothing.
That's what I'm looking at here.
That's number one. That's the answer, okay?
Because sometimes if the boxes are made out of faulty wood or not inspected...
The only thing that goes to your building, if you have them, are proxies.
And a box would lock, a locked box, to put proxies in, and we have the keys, that's all.
This gentleman just slapped me, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Hold on.
Alright, Mr. Fisher, what's the name of your condominium?
Hello?
I'm sorry. Go ahead. I'm sorry, he slapped me.
It's not my problem.
I'm sorry. Go ahead.
No, you tell me. Where are you from, sir?
I'm from Long Island.
That's not going to help me.
Okay, go ahead.
No, you tell me where you're from. Where's the condominium?
Oceanside.
Oceanside? And what's the name of it, sir?
The condominium?
Yes.
It's Oceanside Estates.
Oceanside Estates.
Right.
You've never called before?
No.
Okay.
Hello?
Something wrong with you, Mr. Fisher. I don't understand what you're doing there.
If you can't talk to me without somebody hitting you, there's something wrong, all right?
I don't want to be rude.
Well, that's why we're having this whole thing.
I'm going to be rude, okay?
Either you call me when you're a gentleman, or nobody is beating you in the background, okay?
You gave me a black eye.
That's not my problem.
Well, that's what we're voting about.
That black eye has nothing to do with me.
When you're ready for election, you'll have to vote.
Well, thank you for all the help.
Nice.
All right.
That was late Johnny Brennan.
The Prank Call Called Pave Me
That's from the 22nd Jerky Boys CD
Be sure to check that out over at jerkyboys.gort
Why is he fucking hitting me?
Dirty Errol
Dirty Errol
Yo
Hi, how you doing?
Pretty good, how am I coming in?
You're fine, do you have an echo on your end?
I have to adjust if you do uh no no echo on my end you're looking good good motherfucker all right let's do it we're calling apartments getting the snow out of here get that fucking snow out of here I got shit to do hell yeah we also have Kmart so they're going out of business we need to talk to them about the glory hole uh let's I don't want to I want to do one of those you're welcome to join in or jump in how you doing with the work yes and everything yes you're really big on the uh the snapchat why uh I don't know it's fun because you're an old man you know you're
Kmart Machine
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Apparently she knows about the foot tappers, huh?
I'm sure they do.
I got a whole list of the ones that are closing.
Even Rain Man knows why they're closing.
Because he did the math.
It's called their shit sucks.
It's called they didn't put McDonald's in there.
Walmart did that.
They had my business after that.
So when am I going to go, when am I going to eat at Kmart, that bullshit popcorn and
icing?
Oh, yeah.
Thank you for calling Cabot Kmart.
How can I help you?
Yeah, hi.
Listen, did we get disconnected?
We were talking about what the plans are for the store closing.
Uh, yes.
Yes?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
BANG BUS
BANG BUS
I mean those are fine gentlemen
totally real
those are totally legit
here's a different Walmart going on
Kmart
rather Kmart
not Walmart yet
soon
did you want to lead off one?
yeah we're going to the glory hole Kmart
or whatever
you can do whatever you want
it's a Kmart going on in the business
how's it going there?
I heard you guys are
the store's closing
is that true?
yes it is
oh that sucks
you're going to be out of a job
but I don't really care about that
what I'm looking for is
so you guys sell those shelves
and stuff like that
or is there going to be somebody coming in
and buying all those
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
So we want to kind of recreate this deal, because we have cameras and stuff we set up, and it's like a webcam thing, you know, kind of like a glory hole, but it's only for men, you know, so I think I'll be able to get that stuff.
Well, I'm sorry. Yeah, you know what, you can just come down here and put your name on the book, and then we'll call you when we start selling the pictures.
Okay, that's fine. Do you want the web address or anything? Do you want to see any of those videos?
No, just when you come in, just go ahead and fill out a book. It's on the customer service desk. You'll be fine.
All right, thanks a lot, fuckface.
Closed Captioning by Dania Yamout
Another Kmart
I can leave this one out
since you did the last one
Dom the Bomb will be joining us during his lunch break
Obama? I love him
I love to talk to Kmart
This is Rhiannon
Hey Rhiannon, how you doing? I'm a big fan
Hi, I'm the leader of the Glory Hole Foundation
and we meet regularly
here in your location
and we just
found out recently
this store is closing
Madhouse Live
cbc
uh... she did
copy paste i can do this
so what you think of uh... israel
wherever you were
uh... yeah i was in israel isn't uh... it's a small place but
it's a country that nobody knows
fucking anything about basically
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
e-cigars
no cheeseburger
and you can't get like a steak with a glass of milk
weird, okay
and it's, it's, okay
it sounds like it would make me go crazy
try me crazy
good morning, Kate Martinez-Margaret
speaking to help you
hey Margaret
we're wondering, you guys are closing here
well, we are in liquidation now
shit
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm sorry hold on click
Sorry I clicked on a website and it fucking took off on me
It does that sometimes
So where else do they have snow around you?
Are you uh
So uh
Uh uh uh uh
Sorry I forgot my pill this morning
Uh
You don't like to call your state right?
I don't yeah but
New York is getting it
So I'm calling up
New Hampshire, New York
I don't know if New Hampshire is
I know New York is
I was calling Buffalo, Avi
And they were having responses here to the snow
They're like, yeah, we're working on it
Yeah, good, it's the snow
Call the hotel and find out about the snow
Oh, the hotel, see, that's why you're here
Hotels
I love hotels, they always answer
I like dingy hotels
Yeah, with the hookers
Hookers
Little hooker
All right, that one looks fancy. Here's a courtyard by Marriott and the ID is coming up as the Venus Adult Theater and Bookstore.
If you're wondering.
Oh, from us, okay.
Yeah.
All right, I'll try it. Where are we at?
Buffalo, New York, Marriott.
Having fun here at the courtyard by Marriott. My name is Isis. How can I help you?
Hi, what was the name again?
My name is Isis.
Isis.
Yes.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Isis are you a big girl? I come talk to you over there
Actually, this is because now it's getting a little oh
My name's Brent Brent Brent Westwood. Okay. Um, no, we can FaceTime or something like that. Yeah. No, thank you
You meet your medium-sized girl or what? I mean I'm into that too. All right, Claire Claire
FaceTime give me the FaceTime bitch
Give us a FaceTime.
Uh, no.
Uh, no.
Uh, no.
All right, I found something interesting.
Let's see if this number answers.
I can't figure out how to get it off the phone.
Thank you for calling the filling station and Larkin Square.
For reservations or to place a takeout order, please press 1.
To reach the manager or to schedule a private event, please press 3.
Thank you for calling the filling station.
How can I help you?
Yeah, is this Larkin?
Larkin Square?
Yes.
Okay, is Jaiad there?
Um, this is actually the filling station, the restaurant in front.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Larkin
I'm trying to call phone markin Okay Okay I don't know what that means I said Siri call
phone markin and it connected me to you Okay so what is Phone Markin Sir Put Jihad on because
he's with Phone Markin and I need to talk to him Put who on Jihad I don't know who that
is Well ask around honey, Excuse me sir I'm not gonna help you if you're gonna be rude
I'm not being rude I'm saying can you just ask around I mean cause I have it back and
forth No one here No one here works by that name Okay but maybe a guest there then No
No one here is a guest by that name.
How do you know if you haven't inquired?
This is a restaurant.
Okay.
I have one table in here, and no one has that name.
You're a one-table restaurant?
This is the manager, and you do not need to talk to my server the way you did.
Okay.
There's no W-O in manager, first of all.
And I asked earlier to speak to a man, and I get a woman.
And now you're saying you're the manager?
That's nice, honey.
Is there a man I can talk to, though?
You can call somewhere else if you want to talk to a woman.
No, God damn it.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Thank you for calling the Larkin Development Group.
If you know your party's four-digit extension, you may enter it at any time.
To reach building security, please press 1.
To reach facilities management...
Larkin Security, out.
When are you going to get the goddamn snow out of here, motherfuckers?
Pardon me?
When are you people going to get the fucking snow out of here, motherfuckers?
Uh, I don't control the snow.
Well, who does, motherfucker?
Where are you calling from, sir?
I'm at the Larkin.
Which Larkin building?
The Exchange Larkin.
Okay, where are you parked?
Carlito Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call somebody on the west coast they'd be like they just hang up on you that is the difference
now it's a snowing in new york city hi dom the bomb hi big carlito that's my amigo everyone
listen to this cat call people yeah i gotta know you're on i can play that dom the bomb uh got the
new podcast intro created and i've already added it to one episode it hasn't dropped yet but it's
Matt Baz Milkman
Larkin Center of Commerce
Fast
First
You don't need to format numbers because
I just copy paste them anyway
Oh yeah you're not using the Skype anymore right
Nope don't worry about it
So I get jalapenos and faucets
Thank you for calling the Hotel Lafayette
Thank you for calling Hotel Lafayette
This is Brittany how may I help you
Hey Brittany listen you need to get the snow out of here
Out of outside
Because it's in the way you need to get this shit out of here
Excuse me is it in the front of the hotel
Yeah you need to get the fucking shit snow out of here
What the fuck are you doing
Why are you just sitting there?
Why are you just sitting there?
And don't tell me you're standing.
Why are you just standing there?
Why don't you come outside and clean some of the fucking snow?
And put some of the fucking salt down, motherfucker.
Thank you so much.
Have a great day.
Hey, put a man on the phone.
Excuse me?
Put a man on the phone.
Let's go.
Who's calling?
My name is Cross, and I'm a guest.
Hello?
And what's your last name?
Cross.
All you need is Cross.
Don't look me up on the computer.
Don't do that.
Don't you dare do that shit.
Okay, you have a great day.
Bye.
I fucked that up from the beginning.
That was doomed from the beginning.
Let's go back to the other call, which is still on hold.
Okay.
Hello?
Hey.
Hello?
Yeah, you got to get this shit out of here.
Excuse me, who is this?
My name is Cross.
Cross?
How can I help you, Cross?
You need to get the fucking snow out of this shit, motherfucker.
Excuse me?
You need to get the fucking snow out of here.
Let's go.
Let's go.
What's taking so fucking long to get the snow?
Out of where?
We're trying to do skateboarding, and there's snow all over outside in the square.
You're not supposed to be skateboarding in the square.
That doesn't matter right now.
We are pedestrians. We want to walk through.
We're going to hold our skates.
You want to walk through?
Yeah.
You need to get the fucking shit out of here, motherfucker you.
What do you do? Are you facilities?
Excuse me?
Are you facilities, goddammit?
Sir, I really don't appreciate the tone or your language.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Are you?
Let me put my buddy on the phone. He's calmer, okay?
Dom, talk to this.
Sure.
Hey, what's up, bro?
Hey, how are you?
We're just trying to skate, dude. We got some new trucks.
Just want to go in the quad?
Yeah. There's no skating in the square.
So you can skate outside
Come on bro
Yeah
I mean what did
When you were young
Didn't you used to skate
All over the place bro
He probably broke the skateboard
When he stood on it
Yeah cause he's so fat
He's just sitting there lazy
He got on the skateboard
And he broke it
It snapped to half
Are you just sitting there dude
Get off your fucking lazy ass
And help us
God
Yeah absolutely
I'll be right out there
Hurry up
We have hot dogs
Tell me we have hot dogs
I got a sausage
We have hot dogs
Oh that's awesome
I went back right at the right time
The Larkin Square
Carlito, the reason I keep asking for like movie quotes and sound bites is because you heard the Party Time outro, right?
Yes.
Good afternoon, Uncle Sam's Army Navy.
Hey, what's going on, Uncle Tom? This is Brent. How's it going?
Good.
All right. I'm looking for a jacket because it's fucking cold out here with the snow.
Right.
What do you got for me? I'm looking for the warmest thing.
So what we're trying to do is we're trying to get these jackets and jump on the, you know, just like bomb down on the hill, you know, like without a sled.
You got anything for me?
I got some Siberian parkas, Canadian three-piece parkas.
Siberian? No, I don't mess with that communist shit.
Okay, I got Canadian three-piece parkas.
Oh, yeah, socialist. I want something made in America. You got anything like that?
I have M65 jackets with the liners.
Oh, with the liners. What color are they?
Camel.
Camel. Oh, I like that. I like that.
You know, I got a lot of camouflage stuff.
I got a lot of ammunition and weapons and stuff like that.
So, what do you have from Germany?
Do you have anything from Germany?
I have a flak tar jacket.
Oh, a flak. Does it have armor in it or what?
I'd have to take a look.
All right, all right. So what about Uncle Tom? Is he in?
No, he's not. He's away on a family emergency.
Okay, all right. Is he shoveling the fucking snow? Because it's everywhere, huh?
Oh, it's everywhere.
Yeah, how did you even get into work today? I would have just closed the shit down.
You know what? He wasn't willing to, so I got here very slowly.
Alright, yeah, yeah, well so is his son in jail? Is that what the problem is?
Or he's just on a lazy ass, huh?
No, actually his mom got into a car accident.
In the snow? She shouldn't have been fucking driving.
She was down in Virginia.
Oh, yeah, well, you know.
Typical woman driver.
Yeah, that's true.
Alright, honey, we'll call back later.
Alright.
Alright, bye.
Alright, we'll call back later everybody.
I couldn't get anywhere with her.
Whatever.
I forgot what I was saying.
Parking, sounds good.
I like a parking lot.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Oh, that works for me.
Just make sure I'm not in front of the window, okay?
Oh, I hope you are.
Thanks.
I like blood.
I like blood.
I like blood play.
Oh, my.
Yeah, blood play is hot.
If you say so.
All right, I'll see you later.
All right, I gotta go.
I gotta take a shit.
All right, bye.
Bye, Gino.
Okay, Gino is gonna have a real...
Jesus.
She was nice.
She was down to fuck Gino, though.
Who the fuck is Gino?
Gino apparently is a sick fuck.
I don't know.
She's into it.
I think everybody there is named Gino, right?
I guess.
Yeah.
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
The Buffalo Bilingual Center
I got standards all right no I don't blame you man you're right um I don't know if a railroad
company is really what's up uh all right I'll be fast here's the flying bison brewing company
in Buffalo maybe they or they're close to it never mind oh I love Puerto Ricans it's the
Mexicans that I can't stand they're dirty they're dirty uh here's a gas station you
¿Where at? Where?
¿Buffalo?
Yeah in Buffalo
They probably have snow and shit
They gonna' need to get it out
Oh yeah
That sounds good
When I run out of things to say
臭
Are you running out of gas over there?
Alright
Hello what's going on?
My cousin gave me this number
He said I need to get the gas
Come get the gas
I just got back. What did I miss?
Was I any good?
I just started yelling at the end.
I was yelling at the guy. Same number?
Yeah.
All right, good. I got him.
Hello?
They can hear me.
Hello? Take out the fucking recycling.
Get me the goddamn gas, you motherfucker.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Well, because they're in my state.
Oh, that's right. Sorry, I forgot.
Yeah, they got like 6 to 12 inches depending on where you are in that area.
In Buffalo?
Yeah.
Hi, McDonald's. May I help you?
Yeah, hey, McDonald's.
Excuse me?
This is the McDonald's?
Yes, it is.
Yeah, you guys need to get the snow out of here. You need to get the shit out of here.
Get what?
You need to get the snow out of here. You need to get that shit out of here.
May I help you?
Yeah, I'm here. I'm parked. I want to come inside, but there's too much fucking snow. You got to get the shit out of here.
McDonald's
I'm at the Rite Aid looking over and I can see all the fucking snow and I want to go get some stuff.
But not with all that snow you guys need to get that shit out of there.
Oh so what do you want me to do about it?
Get out there and start cleaning the fucking snow.
Oh no honey.
Well hurry up.
For one you don't call nobody's store and talk like that.
Well this is bullshit I need to go out there get my McDonald's.
Have a good day sir.
Motherfucker.
fckr you
it's like the audacity to just call
yeah get your fckr shit snowed
like dude wait a minute
it's probably still snowing
can't be going out there now
need my fckr chicken nuggets
or they probably did
did remove some
and it's like
hello
it's like
ah they ended it
it's like we're talking shit about their
the way they cut the
the way they clean the snow out
that's what you gotta say
you did a really shitty job with this
yeah listen
Listen, I'm over here at the McDonald's across the way.
You at McDonald's?
Yeah, you know McDonald's?
Yes.
Yeah, I'm over here. I'm looking over.
I need to go over there and get my prescriptions.
But you guys need to get the fucking snow out of there.
You guys need to get the snow out.
There's too much snow. I gotta walk over there.
I can't walk over there like this.
You guys need to get the shit out.
Oh, that's from the...
No, that's your snow.
You need to clear your snow out.
I need to be able to walk through safe, motherfucker.
Come on.
I don't know if he's like from Africa or from Asia oh shit Tim Tebow's on TV motherfucker hit him in the head with a brick
good ass music makes me want to be a father this is Rihanna
fuck up here's Family Dollar fuckers though thank you for calling Family Dollar
For our store hours, please press 1. For our store address, please press 2. If you'd like to speak to a member of our store team, please press 3 or hold the line and your call will be connected.
It's a big field.
What's that?
I have about five minutes left.
Oh, shit.
I'm about, yeah.
I'm like this quick.
I'm like this quick.
No, it's cool, bro.
You don't have to make it quick.
Record your message at the tone when you are.
Freakish, right?
Something like that, right?
Real quick.
Hey, Dom, I want to thank you.
I'm going to take that break then.
You can take your last five minutes.
Well, let me play this real quick while you're on the line.
I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live
The volume is way too low.
That's my big amigo.
I'll start it again.
I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live
I hope my speech can compete with that bad mouth style that we get from Carlito
That's my big amigo
So just kick back to listen to this cat call people when this show goes live
I'll be like, damn, this shit's bitchin'
Stop whatever I'm doing to tune in and listen
You can catch me in the back of his home
Horse Machine Ranch Road Mad Fat Flows
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Again, that's 605-475-0097.
You can listen to Madhouse Radio Streaming 24-7, 365, including live shows that are due.
All right?
Okay.
All right.
I'll be back shortly.
Thank you.
Track Strike 3.
All is 2-1-3.
It's the L and the B that makes me act like a G.
You're listening to Madhouse Live on the largest prank call station in the nation.
Prank Call Nation.
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
All righty let me find another city to call regarding the snow I need to get out of here
get that snow out of here everybody yeah
here we are apartamento
For information on our growing community, please listen carefully as our menu options continue.
Press 1 for Montefiore Heights and Dependency Living Apartments.
Press 2 for Brothers of Mercy Nursing and Rehabilitation Center.
Press 3 for Sacred Heart Adult Homes.
Press 4 for Senior Apartments located on the street.
This is all people homes.
Closed Captions by The Closed Captions Project
I'm here staying at the apartment machine and I need to get the fuck out of here.
I got to go pick up a pizza and go to the pharmacy and pick up some medications.
I mean, there's too much fucking snow here.
I can't get the fuck out.
Who is this that I'm speaking with?
Kraus.
I'm sorry?
Kraus. Kraus.
Kraus?
Kraus. Yeah.
Where are you staying?
In the...
In what apartment?
I'm in 112th.
And?
Hello? Hello?
This is Sherri-Ann. How can I help?
Yeah, did I lose you? What happened? You're paying in the office?
No, I was asking you questions and you didn't respond.
And we're disconnected.
I was saying yes, yes, yes, and it got quiet for many times.
And then I hang up. I call back.
No, I was asking who are you here with at the Herbert Mountain?
My name is Cross. I don't know who I'm here with.
I just met them at a bar recently.
I don't know the full name.
It's number 112.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Hello? I hear you.
Alright, but I wanted to talk to the person
because I'd rather talk to the man
that's going to be coming to make sure they know what to do.
What do you mean you think I'm here?
Yeah, I'm on 112.
He's going to talk to me then, right, motherfucker?
Right?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello? Hello? Hello? Okay, I'll do it. I thought they were gone. Which motherfucker stole my flow?
Yeah, I'm calling back to speak to that man, please. Oh, I hear the man there now.
Calypso
See I never know this before but you can hear Busta Rhymes gulping for air between every single one of those little verses
Every single bar does that happen in all rap music? I've never noticed that before until now in a rap song where there's going
Let me go back and you see what I'm talking about
Listen listen listen in between when you hear him go
I have never noticed that before. I have never noticed that before. Anyway, who cares, right? Who cares?
Call Clearing
Normal call clearing, I don't know why it does that. Yeah, exactly Nick Terry on Mixler. Yeah
They are simply recorded they added those hello and thank you for calling it does sound it sounded separately record
Like they put those in there. Hello, and thank you for calling Wayne maintenance. All right, let me try to call just the leasing
I'm sorry, but can't get through there. Maybe you all know it's like three something. They should be closing yet
Lazy Places
Lazy fucking apartments where they don't want to answer you after 3 o'clock.
I'll keep trying a few.
We'll do some more Kmart's this is.
Hello, you have reached this door. If you know your party's extension, enter it now.
For a dial by name directory, press 1.
If you are calling regarding rental assistance, press 2.
All others, press 0 for reception.
Hi, you guys are closing. I see you are hiring for the closing.
Cristen and the hiring manager
I'm just your fan of my balls I need to do something you know
Okay
Alright so you're going to transfer me now honey
Yeah
Alright baby
Still on hold over there on either side
If you are looking
Hello
Can I help you
Yeah hi I'm calling about the job machines
Um just a moment please
What are you doing what are you doing
Excuse me how may I direct your call
Yeah you guys need to get this
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Kmart hung up
Yeah I'm calling about the job I said
Oh yeah we got disconnected
She's actually on lunch right now
Well why the hell
Why
Fuck
So how long is the jobs for
How long are you opening still
Cause I'm hoping maybe if I do really good
I can get permanent you know
Well the store's closing
Alright okay
Can I have the toilets
When you're done
Um
I don't
If you want to call back in an hour
And talk to somebody
That would be great
God damn it, you know that?
God damn it to you.
Get the fuck off my phone.
Hang up the fucking phone, motherfucker, you.
Do you want me to call the cops?
Why?
What did I do other than get upset?
What did I do?
What's the charge?
What's the charge, motherfucker?
Fuck you.
Don't give me any trouble.
Yeah, you guys need to get the snow out of here.
Where are you?
Who is it?
I'm at the main property.
You guys need to get the fucking snow out of the fucking place.
There's too much fucking snow here.
Guess what?
The snow pile is going around the fucking places right now.
Well, it's taking it's fucking time and I gotta buy weed.
She don't give a shit.
Yeah, you gotta get the fucking snow out of here, man.
I got shit I gotta do.
You gotta get the fucking snow out of here, I got shit I gotta do, I said.
This is Cross.
This is Cross, goddammit.
Okay, well I'm a resident and you guys need to get the fucking snow out of here
so I can get the fuck out of here.
Well, I'm upset.
I'm upset. I've been waiting a long time to get the fucking mother fucker snow out of this motherfucker.
Where do you live? Watch your mouth.
Alright, damn it. Knock it off.
Alright, I'm sorry. I'm upset. I've been stuck here snowed in.
What's your name? Where do you live?
I've been drinking.
Uh, housing authority.
The main one. The big one.
The high rise. Yes.
And the fucking snow. What's your apartment number?
I'm stuck because of the fucking snow.
And the fucking snow everywhere.
What's your apartment number? Fucking shit motherfucking snow.
Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
We haven't had a pharmacy here since May 23rd.
Well, yeah, I know.
You guys, the pharmacist is gone.
He sells me, like, you know, medication, wink, wink, you know?
But we have not had a pharmacy since May 23rd.
Everything went to Walgreens.
Okay, it's not like a pharmacy doesn't sell this kind of medication.
It's kind of like, you know, for my glaucoma, if you catch me, you know?
You would have to try Walmart, Target, Walgreens, places like that.
We're here until April 8th.
Well, do you know where Lysol's going to be working at next?
Because he's the guy I buy the weed from.
I don't have a Lysol that works here so
Well I just
We call him Lysol
I don't know what his real name is
I just know I go back there
And he's usually there
You know I text him
And he says yeah come here
Meet me at work
Usually like I meet him in the furniture area
I have no idea who you're talking about
Well I just
I usually just like
He tells me to open one of the drawers
In the furniture area
And I have to leave my money in there
And then I take one of the
The bags of weed out
I have no idea who you're talking about
And if I did
They would not work here anymore
Well his name is Lysol
I don't
Do you know who
Can you ask him
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
It's legal in Colorado Springs also, and there's a dispensary almost every corner, so you'll have to look it up in the phone book. I'm not a phone book. Thank you.
Oh, you see? I knew. It's pretty cool, though.
I thought Colorado Springs was exempt from that. I guess I was wrong.
I could swear at first I heard that Colorado Springs had passed a law or an edict saying that there would be no dispensaries there.
But you probably just had to go to the next city over.
Or they were like, shit, we need that money.
I don't know where it got it was a it was a news article that I read or I watched something probably CNN fake news, right guys
Colorado's trying to say like she we need that pot money Lysol still making all the money in town
Fuck that Lysol Lysol's like I'm the only guy that sells weed in this town unless you drive five minutes down the highway
Next city over every street corner guys. Wow. It's like that over there. That's awesome
Yeah, you guys are going out of business I heard yes
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I don't think he put Lysol on his name badge.
Isis was the best name so far today.
That one went to Dirty Aaron.
Aaron just dropped it.
He didn't even say, look, I gotta go.
He just disappeared.
Thank you for calling Kmart.
This is Deb.
How can I help you?
Hi, Big Deb.
How you doing?
Doing just fine, thanks.
All right, great, big girl.
Listen, I was, um, I don't know if I was just talking to you about Lysol.
Lysol?
Yeah.
No, it wasn't me.
Okay, yeah.
I don't know his real name.
We call him Lysol around here.
He's a friend of ours that works there.
Not a clue.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I just yeah okay this is very illegal what I'm doing this is not right sir
explicit environment okay
in the summer in the city machine
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Are you sure that she's telling the truth?
She sounded to be pretty talkative.
Yeah, well, what reason, what reason, what reason do you want to lie about that?
Well, I know, like, a lot of times, you know, colored people will not be the most truthful.
What do you mean, what do you mean, colored people?
What color, what color are you?
Well, you know, like, you know what I mean.
Not like, you know, normal, not like normal regular people, but just, you know, it's different, it's all.
I, you know, just thought I'd ask.
What color are you?
I have white skin, beautiful white skin.
Say what?
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Let me talk to her.
Okay, one moment, please.
Uh, 20 seconds.
I should have edited it out.
This is Tiffany, the on-shift supervisor here.
If you are a college-grub resident and you have a maintenance emergency,
press 1.
Yeah, are you the supervisor?
I can't find another person.
Yes, sir, I certainly am.
Remain on the line.
Thank you, and have a great day.
There's a 1, I think.
Thank you for calling Chittagore.
This is Allie.
Hi.
Hello.
Listen, you guys need to get the snow out of here.
It'll be out there plowing.
Well, that's the problem, because I'm here.
I'm supposed to buy weed from Lysol and I'm trying to get to this place, but there's way too much snow and for me to be able to get there. I don't live there. I'm visiting someone who lives there. All right. And I'm trying to buy marijuana from him, but there's fucking way too much fucking snow. You need guys need to get the shit out of there. You know, really? Really? That's terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. How the fuck is Charles Barkley going to do Saturday Night Live?
Madhouse Live
The
way
A
party
in
New York
City
or
Chicago
it was
like
either
for
like
Def
Jam
or
something
like
that
and
I'm
trying
to
remember
I
want
to
say
it
might
have
been
Jay
Z
that
went
up
to
him
and
asked
if
he
could
use
him
in
a
rap
song
he
wanted
to
put
him
in
and
he
said
fuck
rap
was
what
he
said
like
really
loud
said
fuck
rap
like
I was like, no, fuck, no fucking shit.
Holy shit.
But then like, you know, Air Jordan sneakers and stuff are a big part of the whole hip-hop culture.
Yeah, it's a staple of the hip-hop culture scene.
All right, Noriega's, I guess, the dude that said that.
Sure, it's a minute 18.
Original video had Michael Jordan in there.
Wow.
Jordan is a hater of hip-hop.
He only likes Hulk.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it. That's the way it stops.
Oh, he only likes Jay-Z. He only likes Ho.
That's it. I seen him shut Redman down.
I seen him shut Redman at a Def Jam Christmas party.
We all sitting there waiting to speak to Michael Jordan.
And nigga said, yo, Redman and Method Man is here.
He said, fuck rap.
Seek the nigga to say that.
I was like, this is my fate.
I'm like, I'm on the side of him.
Like, look, Redman.
That's going viral.
Somebody, somebody.
The
F***ing
Quote me but I believe it was right man and I'm to the side so I'm seeing like I could directly hear his voice
This wasn't he was like fuck rap. I was like, oh shit hurt me
He spoke the whole he spoke the whole
So he likes Jay-z, but he hates all the rappers
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Madhouse Live
Expo Carlito is calling you. The Carlito is calling you. How rude. Must be a wife.
You want to do a Kmart there, reclute?
Sure. I'm down.
Okay. Here you go. This one's going out of business. It's on the list.
Thank you for choosing us. We're here at Kmart. How may I help you?
How's the bathroom scene looking today?
Good. Why?
Well, I mean, you know, I just, I don't want to go down there.
I went over there the other day and I kind of felt like a fool just, you know, sitting in there twiddling my thumbs waiting for something to come through.
I was in there by myself for a few hours and felt kind of silly.
I just didn't want to have that happen again.
You know what I mean?
Can you maybe check for me if there's much action going on in the men's room?
I think that's a problem there.
That was in Georgia.
Your voice is perfect for that.
Oh, nice.
Thank you for calling.
I hope you came out.
How may I help you?
Yeah, hi.
You guys closing?
April 8th.
Why?
I don't know.
Shit.
Why?
What did you guys not do?
Were the sales too low here?
I have no idea.
They're just shutting us down.
Oh, is the air conditioner still working?
Yes.
Okay, can I get the Freon out of it?
I don't know.
What are you guys going to do with the Freon?
I want to know, so you close the A cell on the 9th, there'll be no activity there at all, no customers or nothing?
Nope, that'll be the last day for the customers.
So that's when I can go in and use the air conditioner?
I can tap into the air conditioner?
Where are they?
The air conditioning units are on the roof, right?
They are.
And is there a ladder on the side?
Nope.
How do you get up there?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm calling Kmart's Expo if you want to do one.
You let me know.
If not, sit there and be pretty.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'll take care of something.
Okay, fine.
This is Albany, Georgia.
Albany, gah.
You're a big fan.
Calling Kmart.
May I help you?
Uh, hi, honey.
How are you?
I'm good.
Oh, that's good.
Hey, how do you fanny feel?
Let me put my grandma on.
Hi, dad.
Hi.
Who's that?
Hello
Hello
This is Kmart
Hello there dear
Can I help you?
Good day
This is Rose at Kmart
How can I help you?
Yes
I need to find diapers
I want some diapers for my family
Is there any diapers there?
Hello
Yes
Yes
Do you have diapers?
Here they are
I wasn't caught on it
I have suffocated my pants again
Only depends
Oh um
I don't think we still have any
We sold
I think we sold all of them
I sold just about all of them out.
Are you wearing me the pants, dear?
Oh, God.
We sold just about all that out.
I've got a problem in here, dear.
I've got a problem.
I've been defecating all day.
I can't leave me house.
You might have to try somewhere else,
because I think we sold all those out.
God, oh, yeah.
This crazy old lady just starts pissing on the boat.
Oh, shit.
Super Bowl
rapper
greatest
yeah i did
this is a came as well as a business
uh... k
i'm sorry i hope you find a job
k alright so i want to last day there in polit
April 8th, April 1st, April Fool's, right?
Okay, alright, alright.
And what's going to happen with the bathroom?
The bathroom?
Yeah.
I have no idea.
You probably have to talk to our store manager about all that.
Okay, you have any idea?
Are they planning on keeping it?
I'm a big fan of pissing, urinating, toilets, stuff like that.
I wanted to see maybe if I could buy the fixtures in there.
I don't know.
You'll have to talk to our store manager, man.
Alright.
Ma'am?
I said ma'am.
Oh man, okay, all right, cool.
What about the women's room there?
Are there holes?
Do people drill holes in the women's room also?
No, they don't.
Just the men's room?
I really don't know.
I have a customer, so I like...
Oh, I can talk to them if you want.
Call back some other time.
Okay, all right.
I'm going to stop peeing now, okay?
I'm going to stop peeing.
All right, I'm done peeing.
I'm going to put you on hold.
She's cracking the fuck up.
She's super enjoying that.
She's like crying.
Let's crack it up in front of the customer and explain it to the customer.
Are we still on hold with the other one?
Yeah, the other one.
Jesus.
So I think this is Kmart's final death spiral here.
They don't recover after this round of closing.
They won't be able to stay still.
Kmart, how can I help you?
Yeah, hi.
I understand you guys are closing there?
We are, yep.
Okay, then sorry to hear that.
I hope you find a new job.
Oh, thank you.
Maybe at a better place this time, right?
There you go.
I think it's a pretty good place for me.
Not for long, though, right?
I guess, yep.
Okay.
All right, what's going to happen with the bathrooms?
What do you mean?
Well, like, there's a group of us that meets there on a regular basis.
Do you know what the plan is for us to relocate or whatever?
For the bathrooms?
Mm-hmm.
What do you mean you locate in the bathrooms?
Well, to relocate our group.
There's a group of us men that hang out in the bathrooms every day around the same time.
The bathrooms are going to be sold to the owner to the building.
Okay.
Are they going to give access to us to come in still?
I don't think so.
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
I'm a regular there.
Do you want me to translate it to my manager?
Yeah, sure. Hurry up, though, okay?
Because you're kind of wasting my time.
I like that I'm peeing while I'm doing this.
Nice. It was very good.
All right.
The gentleman did not sound amused at all.
So they don't have pharmacies at the Kmart's anymore.
They don't do any kind of car repair or anything like that.
They don't carry the pens anymore.
Apparently not, yep.
Who's Patrick? Can I help you?
Who's Patrick? Is this the store manager?
This is the store manager.
All right, good.
I'm a regular there at your store
and I was wondering if you had any information
as to where the group is going to be relocating now?
What group?
Us guys that meet there in the bathrooms
on a regular basis.
Really?
Is that what you got?
No, really. Has there been any information?
None whatsoever.
Do you have any idea? Will there be access still for us?
A lot of pissing today.
A lot of pissing. A lot of getting snow out of here too.
Yeah, the goddamn snow.
Well, it's turning to slush and ice here.
TheFNDC.com
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project, Inc.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
I need to find out where the group's moving.
Are they going to move to the Walmarts or the Target?
I have no idea.
Can you ask one of the guys there?
I don't know any employees that know anything about that.
Okay.
Can you ask, though?
Can you ask a guy?
Do you have an effeminate man there that might know?
I know there's at least three guys that work there that hang out with us there.
Make any assumptions about any of the other employees?
It's all right.
Go ahead.
Just put one of them on.
Or just ask them.
Just ask them.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I got appendicitis. I got to go, all right?
Okay.
All right, bud. I got to get that taken care of.
How about one last call? One last call. All right.
Swami Manjiti? Manjiti? What the hell is Swami Manjiti?
Oh, astrologer readings. All right, cool.
World famous astrologer, palmist, and spiritual healer.
because we are so creative
I hope everyone's enjoyed the show
please be sure to go to madhouselive.com
subscribe to the show in its various forums
including shoutcasts and podcast links
follow Madhouse on Twitter
at Madhouse on Twitter
madhouse.live
on Facebook, hello
is that Swami Manjitji
ok good, I was wondering
if you could do healing, I have appendicitis
what is the sickness
appendicitis
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
The Devil Keeps Possessing Me
Hello?
Yeah, hi. Is this an astrology reader and spiritual healer?
Yes, I'm just an astrology reader, yes.
Okay, well, I need help. I think I have the devil in me.
No, I rebuke that. I doubt that.
Well, can you help me, though?
I doubt that at all.
Is there something you can do to help me speak to something or get some type of focus?
You need to go to church.
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Christian Astrologist
Doesn't make any sense
Let's see if there's any more Swamis in here
All your problems can be solved now
Peer Amjad Shah Bukhari
Award winner astrologer of Pakistan and India
Will take care of your problems
Business, children, unfaithful spouses
Love issues
Matchmaking for children
Matchmaking for children
Oh man
They do
Immigration
Immigration black magic undone etc. Okay, let's call
It's an international number
Yeah, it is shit
Let's see if I can figure it out
I don't think I'll be able to figure it out. Your call cannot be completed at dial. Please check the number and dial again. So
Pakistan Guru Jawadah
Hello?
I told you I'm sorry I can't help you
I have his soul
No, no, I'm not after money.
I will kill him if you do not stop me.
See, he's talking. The devil's talking to me.
He takes control of...
I know it's talking, but it's a serious problem. I'm sorry, I can't help you.
This one is mine.
See? He just said, this one is mine.
He is mine. To do with us, I please. I'm going to rape him.
He wants to rape me, he says.
I have to go to hospital.
I'm going to sodomize him.
Oh, please help. Please help. I wake up and there's like I've I wake up and there's like pens and pencils inside my rectum
I don't know how they got there
All right, I really would I really I got to look into these swamis and stuff like spiritual healers
I'm gonna start calling it with wacky shit. That's one of the ones I want to those pens got there
Yeah, I because that's that's in Stewart. That was in Stewart's prank to the sleep doctor mattress story
He said I need to speak to one of the sleep doctors like okay
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm sorry, we do have a very strict return policy on our horses.
But what if the apocalypse happens?
I can't guarantee that you'll get him back if, you know...
Because, I mean, the next line after that, what it says is that...
And the name that said across him was Death and Hell followed with him.
So I'm pretty sure that means that there's going to be, like, a big battle at that point.
What I'd like to do would be to go on to our website.
I don't know exactly how to appropriately respond to these questions.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Well, I'm not very good at the whole fake thing, so, but, but you, we gotta go, we
gotta go, asshole, okay, motherfucker, alright, get the fuck, get the fuck off my phone, fucking
bitch, Jesus Christ, alright, she's having too much fun, and this is not a having fun
show, okay, I want to thank AXPA, Reclude, and Dirty Aaron for joining me, gentlemen,
thank you, take a bow, alright, you guys are out of here on your asses, as I said, they're
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Comments 0
Nobody has said anything yet.
Log in to comment or to suggest fixes.