The President’s Day Massacre
19 Feb 2018 · 1 h 55 min · 8,122 words · source
Transcript
I can't give you any more information
Everything that I've been told is that this is fake news
Oh my god I'm hyperventilating
I don't know what I'm going to do
Irritable bowel syndrome
Excuse me
At this point I can tell you right now
Just by that question
Just by saying dirty Mexicans
No I don't remember that at all
I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live
I hope my speech can compete with that bad mouth style
That we get from Carlito
That's my big amigo
Madhouse Live
And if you want, call the number, you can listen to this show on the go
Big up to the man in the madhouse
Show love, just stick your motherfuckin' hands up
Some come close, but they can't get it right
Let the king do his thing, it's time for Madhouse Live
Big up to the man in the madhouse
Show love, just stick your motherfuckin' hands up
It's hot, I ain't in right now
But uh, please come with me
You know I'm all flops and tops and
Dippin' and trippin', you know what I'm sayin'?
Hey, Hutchman, uh, it's a place at your mama's house, man, um, I don't know what they got.
Thank you for calling, it's a pleasure, Kmart, how can I help you?
Oh, hey, how you doing, honey?
Fine, how are you today?
I just, I have a list, I'm making a list, I'm making notes.
Um, this Kmart, is this one of the ones that's gonna be closing?
Uh, I'm not 100% sure.
Oh, you don't know if you have a job or not, oh my goodness.
Oh, this must be terrible.
Okay, I'm gonna let you go.
No, I'm trying to help.
Oh, man.
Oh, man, come on, man.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Prank Call
Prank Call
Prank Call
Prank Call
Prank Call
Prank Call
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I just need to talk to somebody.
I can do this.
I can do this.
Watch this.
Watch this.
Watch this.
Alright.
Let's see what the option is.
Who knows what Xero did?
Press Xero to just ring to teach you a lesson to listen to the options.
I love how they make you listen to the options now.
Like they disable Xero to make you listen.
That's like being told to walk when you're at school.
Hello?
Yeah, listen.
First of all, I was down there shopping and someone told me to walk because I was running.
What's up with that?
I'm not a five-year-old, okay?
I don't need people to tell me walk, all right?
I don't know who you people think you are.
Nail it
that wasn't the idea of a panelist
wind dixie's are on the verge of bankruptcy
street beat as they're gonna now sometime today some pollen though
when dixies right now
this is not the main this the hometown city of the corporation is with the
headquartered at jacksonville
appellate
so you said
so
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Thank you for calling.
Thank you for calling Wendix. May I help you?
Yeah, hi. Listen, seriously, this store's closing.
You were supposed to put me through to the manager?
Correct. You hung up on your side.
No, no. I heard lots of clicking, like you had a bad cable.
You know the phone cable that connects to the handset?
It sounded like it was wonky.
I think what happened is it came out, and you're trying to cover it.
It's cool if it came out. It's all right.
Did it come out? Tell me the truth. The cable came out, right?
Somewhere?
No.
I think it did. All right.
Go ahead and transfer. You just don't know how to transfer.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
My name's Cross.
I have no idea who you are.
It says the 1st, Thursday the 1st, next week is going to be the last day of operations, it says.
I want to call our corporate office and maybe they can give you more information.
Well, you might want to check it out because you're out of a job.
You know what I mean?
Okay.
I'm trying to help you out.
I have no idea who you are.
Well, how have sales been here?
How have the sales been here?
It's been great.
Well, what's the back stock like right now?
I mean, you guys, is it pretty full?
What does that have to do with anything?
Because that tells me if whether or not you're moving product or not. You need to call our corporate office if you need more
How shrink been how's shrink been going great? Are you sure?
What's the shrink percentage right now? Exactly exactly la la la everything's fine. He's inside is like
Get another one here and just taking care of something real quick if you afford me the opportunity
I had music selected music. I've played before a few years ago
It's a Wu-Tang Beatles mashup album.
It's really good.
The same guy made a separate Wu-Tang Jimi Hendrix that I played last summer.
That was pretty good.
It was a little too noisy, though, to play on a regular basis on the show.
Well, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
I don't know why I went into that, but there you go.
I went into it.
I'm pretty sure I didn't play this on the last show.
If I did, my bad.
I think I just didn't get to it on the last show.
Blah blah blah anyway back to the show back to more Winn-Dixie's and like I said, we have numbers from Parkman also to get to
Before I do that actually, let me take your business
Madhouse live.com is the website for the show. You can also subscribe to the podcast there
While you're there also be sure to make a note of the phone number that's posted. That's the 605
475
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
and stuff like that is brought to you by a patreon supporters thank you all
the uh horses and machines that are there no no no we don't have horses and machines what are our
levels horses right horse is the upgraded level militia i'm sorry militia and horses there is
going to be a machine level which supersedes horse but that's still in the early stages of
what the reward is going to be for that so it's going to be real exciting so look out for that
machine status so it squeers more blood out of you little turnips you patreon.com slash madhouse
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I don't know, did they announce anything yet? I don't know, but...
Can you transfer me to the butcher block? I want to let the guys back there know about it.
Alright, thanks.
He's busy and he just got...
Now he's going to tell all his little girlfriends up front.
Charlotte, oh my god.
This guy that works in the butcher block just called.
One of the meat guys.
And he said that closing...
Really?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
And someone else is like, what? What happened?
Aiden got a call.
Aiden got a call from corporate.
And they said that they're closing the store on the 1st.
A call from corporate?
And they said what? That they're closing on the first? Yeah. Oh my god. And then I started sprinting out for them. That's how it starts, guys. That's how it starts. That's how we bring down Winn-Dixie from the core. That's how we slay this beast.
Hey, how you doing? Hey, it's Bill over here. I'm in the pharmacy. Yeah, I'm off today, but I usually work at the pharmacy. Hey, I don't know if you saw this. Oh, I must be calling from a different store. This isn't work. This isn't Fort Caroline Road. We're on the list. Oh, your store's on the list of stores that are closing.
Yeah, like the bankruptcy, uh, Bilo, Winn-Dixie, bankruptcy just got announced.
The stock is dropping.
They're showing it right now on MSNBC.
Yeah, um, yeah, the stock took a big hit and it's closing on the 1st, which is next Thursday, I guess.
We're on the list.
There's two, 215 stores are closing.
One of them?
Yeah, 6060.
6060?
606010 Fort Caroline Road.
My name's Cross.
Yeah.
One second.
Okay.
I was hoping he wouldn't put me on hold.
I'm fucked up because I said I was Bill.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm selling the wick my wick checks. Yeah. Yeah shit. I don't know. What do you you got anything planned? Hold on just one sec. Okay. This is Lisa. Oh my god Lisa we're one of the stores that's closing. Sorry to hear that. I mean I don't know what I'm going to do. Do you want to talk to a store manager because we have no information at our level. You didn't know about this really? Tell me the truth. Because I can't give you any more information. I just put everything that I've been told is that this is fake news and I don't know anything.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
It's fake news People throw around fake news all the time now It's the President's Day Massacre at Winn-Dixie Winn-Dixie pride ourselves on being local We know how to Not anymore With the best flavors and at just the right time of year That's why whenever possible we source produce from local farms and orchards We partner with local families Good morning this is Jeannie how can I help you Jeannie this store is going to be one of the ones that's closing It's on the PD
Call Nation Madhouse Live
www.windixi.com
Call Nation Madhouse Live
What are you keeping?
She knows.
Oh, shit.
The Winn-Dixie forums.
I like how you don't even argue that anymore.
Like, there was a while ago, like, no, there's no such thing.
Now it's like, yeah, there probably is an employee Winn-Dixie bitching about work forums.
Winn-Dixie sucks dot com or some shit.
Are you individually millionaires yet?
Yeah.
All right, let's do some Parkman and maybe we'll revisit the death of Winn-Dixie.
No, the announcement hasn't been made.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
He's a deaf maintenance tech and I'm going to be translating for him unless you have a video phone there. I don't think you have a TDD video phone. Probably not. I don't. Okay. That's what I'm here for. I'm employed by the state of Texas to facilitate as translator and he's on a video conference with me. Okay. Do you understand? Okay. Okay. And I will go ahead and sign this. I'm sorry. You said your name was what? My name is Rocio. Okay. Hang on. Okay. He's saying hi. My name is Scott. I am a deaf maintenance tech and I'm going to be translating for him.
Closed Captioning by Kris Brandhagen. brandhagen.com
I need to know his work experience as a man. That's all that I need to know.
Okay, I have a big dick. I have a big dick. I have a circumcised penis. Go ahead
Fuck you bitch. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck go ahead
He disconnected the call, okay. All right. Thank you. Have a good day. Is this I'm trying to make it sound like I'm signing
I don't know why I would be hitting it. I guess it kind of works.
If I was doing it with a headset on, I kept bumping it with my hand gestures.
This is a whole thing. I could just insult people and be really nice about it the whole time.
Great idea. It's here for Parkman, everybody. Your Patreon dollars at work. Parkman.
Great idea.
I did a show about sign language. Well, it wasn't a show, but it was a prank where I kept saying I was doing sign language on the phone.
So this is kind of an old idea. That's where Parkman got it from.
Let's see if I can find that. I know it was an episode. I don't know about the...
Madhouse Sign Language on the Phone. That's the episode.
Sign Language on the Phone. 4 minutes 37 seconds. Okay.
But I really like this song, so it's going to play at the end of the song.
I dropped something. Let me look for that. Let's listen to this song and we'll play that prank.
I'll be right back. I need a quick second here.
I found it. Alright. Alright, listen to that. I haven't heard this in years.
I just remembered the sign language on the phone. See if this is any good.
If you did nothing wrong, then what are you worried about?
Because you, my husband is nearly deaf.
He will not hear you on the phone, that's why.
Oh.
You need to get the right number.
Can you do sign language?
Pardon?
I can do sign language on the phone for him.
Oh, well, how can you do that?
He wouldn't understand that.
Yes, he can.
Listen, listen.
See?
Pardon?
Did you understand what I said?
No.
I'll try again.
Hang on.
There, I was sign languaging on the phone.
Well, no, I'm sorry. I don't know what you talk what you mean. No, no, no your husband's deaf
You said but I know sign language. He's not I said he's not deaf, but he doesn't have everyone on the phone
He's hearing impaired. Sorry
Hearing impaired he's 75 years old. Okay, so I'm gonna do sign language on the phone. Listen
I'm doing it right now. You're ignoring me. Okay good. That was fun
If you say so that wasn't worth it at all worth the wait at all
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Do you allow co-worker relationships?
Well, I haven't had that issue come up.
So I've got, you know, we generally have six, I've got, well, hopefully this year I'll have three crews,
but between six and nine guys working for me, so I haven't had that issue come up.
Sixty-nine guys?
You said six?
Six to nine, yes.
Six to nine, okay.
I was going to say that's a lot of guys.
That's quite a number.
Yeah, yeah.
I've had three crews and then this year I'll be starting with two crews.
Okay, were you going to need a reference?
Because I can explain now what happens.
See, I'm really hands-on with my crew when I'm a foreman.
And I like to do stuff like I give high-fives, fist bumps,
and I like to give little neck massages and stuff.
And I guess one of the guys didn't take really well to that
and accusations started getting thrown around, punches were thrown.
Got it.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I understand, but the question you just asked me when you said, are you going to be working with 30 Mexicans, I'm not interested with working with you. This interview is over, thank you very much.
Alright, bye. Asshole. What an asshole that guy. He might have been there, so that's why I said asshole.
Oh boy.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Brian.
Yeah, listen, we got off to a wrong foot.
Can we just wipe the slate?
Let's just start like, you know.
No, once that came out, that...
Look, I bought you something.
I bought you something, honey.
Don't be like that.
Look what I got you.
I got you this necklace.
All right, we're done.
Don't call me back.
This is for you, honey.
Come on, I'm sorry.
Gay, racist foreman.
When I was growing up, my pappy had a pot-bellied pig,
and that thing was dirty as sin, but I loved him.
I love them like I would any pet any dog hell he was smarter than the dog
all right lube tech job I'm supposed to say let's see the idea is my wife is a rich businesswoman
that I've been living off for a while awful for a while and I should make it look like I'm making
an effort oh to make it look like I'm making an effort ask if I can come in for a fake interview
That's a good idea.
Dude, I've got to do more of that sign language.
That lady totally ran with the relay call.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
That was very useless.
Have you tried getting in the hotel?
No, but I know two other girls that did.
They made it all the way.
One of the police and a guy came and brought them all the way down again.
Lake Collins Automotive.
Yeah, hey, I was calling about the Lube Tech job.
Okay, hold on just one moment.
Oh, God.
This is Jordan.
Hey, Big Jordan, how you doing?
Good.
All right, so look, I'm going to level with you.
You got a lube tech job there, right?
Yeah.
All right, well, I'm just trying to make it look like I'm making an effort.
Number one, my wife is real upset that I'm not really making an effort to find a job
because I'm in unemployment.
Number two, the state of Texas said that I have to keep a log,
that I'm trying to look for interviews.
I have to try to do at least one a month.
So I'm coming up.
I got a few days left.
So I was wondering if I could just come in.
I don't know anything about loop tech shit or anything like that.
I just need you to basically let me come in for an interview and just, you know what I mean,
just sign the paper that I came in.
I'm all right.
I can literally just come in.
Well, now listen, I'm interested in...
No, I already filled the position.
I know my rights.
I know my rights, and you've got to offer me an interview if I'm looking interested for a job.
You can't discriminate.
Well, I'm not discriminating.
I'm just saying I'm not hiring right now.
Well, it sounds like you are.
I already filled the position.
No, you didn't.
How come the guy I talked to before said it was still open?
He does their views on a guy starting on Thursday. Well, then you got enough you got enough time for me
Just you guys sign the fucking paper man. Come on
Do you want to call me up and cuss me out and stuff and and tell me about your rights?
Yeah, my right to get my unemployment basically
I just see some asshole that sign is saying that I came in for an interview ridiculous
Now I'm some asshole cuz I won't sign this paper for you. I'll suck your dick man. Come on. I'll suck your dick
I feel so dirty. I feel my mom in heaven looking down on me. Very disappointed.
Good stuff, Parkman.
Oh boy. Alright. Leasing agent job. Leasing agent.
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by Kris Brandhagen.com
I'm saying it's pretty, like, what are my, will my duties entail going into the units?
Occasionally?
No.
No, sir.
Shit.
Um, okay.
Well, I mean, because I really, I just like to go in, like, I like to look at the underwear,
you know, people's underwear and what they have.
Jesus.
Could you give us a sound?
I can't help myself.
I love them.
Do you have a favorite?
Yes, John.
Why?
I just love them.
Honestly.
It's the greatest.
Do you think the Beatles are out of style never they'll never go out of style tell me the truth now
Which group do you like better than the Beatles?
When Dixie can help you hey, this is cross
I guess
This store is on the list of the ones that are gonna close on Thursday a week from Thursday on the first not that I know
Of it just got released
CNBC is showing that the stock is falling the announcement by low when Dixie announces bankruptcy
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
It used to be a Winn-Dixie, now it's a Bravo supermarket.
I mean, you can go, you know.
I'm Puerto Rican, I'll get you in.
I will say that you're, like, Dominican.
I think you can get in.
And then I'll get in, and then I'll punch you.
I'm sorry, I was just kidding, I was just kidding.
Hey, can I speak to the meat department?
Sure, hang on.
Bye, honey.
I didn't say that.
Okay.
I don't know why we're doing this again.
Just felt like it.
See if I'm gonna...
Uh, night watchman job?
Hello?
Meat department, Ralph speaking.
Hey, Big Ralph, how you doing?
Winn-Dixie Internet Forums
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Winn-Dixie Buy A Low To Close 215 Stores Official
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
It's it's on the employee of internet boards internet forum boards the employees of Winn-Dixie and Bilo post on here
And it's it's wild. Let's see. Here's another posting this one came from
From a Pepsi vendor from a Pepsi bottling company in Jacksonville. They got the email to the same one. It's all over man
It's all over. It's done. This is crazy first. It was Kmart now. It's us man. Okay. Well, let me
Call Nation Madhouse Live
www.mcblogspot.com
I used to have a liver taco bell in there.
Yeah, it's always been a Goodings.
It never was a Publix.
Publix never touched this place.
Listen, I'm trying to get the order done, so if there's something specific I could get for you.
No, I'm going to let you go, man.
I mean, you might want to let your guys know back there what's going on, because...
I'll talk to the store manager.
All right, hurry up.
All right.
Your name's Cross.
Yeah, Cross.
Good luck, man.
All right, man.
See you.
You too.
All right.
Got a little confused there at the end.
Threw him off.
It's fucking big.
It's like, calm down, man. Calm down. It's all right, man.
All right. We're looking at about 12 minutes away from when we take the break.
When I take the break. Who's we? Right? Who are we anyway?
All right. Back to Parkman. Waterpark sales coordinator.
Yeah, Parkman wants me to take those races.
Thank you for calling Epic Waters Underwater Park. This is Michelle. How may I help you?
Yeah, hi. Are there a lot of big white girls there?
I'm sorry?
Are there a lot of big white girls there today?
How can I help you?
I was thinking about coming in just for a day pass, you know, but I was wondering like are there a lot of like big girls there today or like what's what's the heat like?
Yeah, I know the temperature in the building. No, well of the women, you know that are in there. Like what are they? Are they we got big girls today?
I don't know what kind of size girls we have here. I work upstairs. Oh, is there a dude down there?
I can talk to you that might be checking out the coups, you know what I mean? Checking out the the real estate.
I was being honest I skipped night watchman that was the one that I grew up going to
And he's completely wrong that was a Gooding's first and then it became a win. I remember when it broke ground even never was a
Publix dude
International
That's where I got international business machines is from the name of that street
Waxing specialists
Waxing the city, how can I help you?
Yeah, hi, you've got an appointment, or excuse me, a position open for a waxing specialist.
Yeah, where are you looking to apply?
Well, my boyfriend Lysol is. He has experience waxing.
Well, I can give you our owner's email address so that he can forward his resume.
Well, he's deaf, if you can let me continue. He's deaf, and I'm actually calling to translate for him.
He's going to, I do sign language on the phone.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
E-Command
Speaking of which, Alexa, Volume 10.
Alexa, play Weird Al Yankovic.
Beat it.
Ah, shit, I'm gonna eat it.
Alright.
Hopefully you guys are being regaled with a very loud rendition of Weird Al's Eat It.
Coming up on that break any minute now.
Any minute now, guys.
Wall, uh, Wall Machine.
Warehouse Machine Operator.
That's right. I was working on a warehouse sound effect. Did I say I don't think I saved it
I was gonna save one. I didn't do it. That sucks
That would have been perfect right now, all right, I'll be a construction guy then
Yeah, hey, how you doing good how are you i'm good i'm calling about that warehouse machine operator
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Do you have a cell phone number?
No, I got this number here.
I'm calling from like the pay phone down the street.
Okay.
Well, did you, let's see here.
Do you remember what ad you saw?
Yeah, it says warehouse machine operator.
Keep explaining.
Okay.
Where do you live at?
I live in Dallas.
You live in Dallas?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, the best place for you to go would probably be our office out in Duncanville.
Okay.
This is the Fort Worth office.
Okay.
All right.
And I'll bring my shoes and glasses.
What is your...
Yeah, let me get your first and last name first.
All right.
Cross.
Okay.
Valente.
Spell that.
V-A-L-E-N-T-E
Milk
Machine
Company
Store
Alligator
Parking lot
Okay.
SUV
Okay.
Motherfucker.
Okay.
Anything else?
That's it.
All right.
Cool.
So we'll see you at the office, and we'll see you here soon.
All right, Cross?
Okay.
All right.
And I'll bring my shoes and glasses.
No, you don't need shoes for this job.
Oh, okay.
Okay, straight up. Alright, cool. Alright, I'm going to suck your dick.
Okay, take care.
Take care. Think about that. You have a little bit of a chubby.
Hey, I want to saw this piece of wood in your name.
Hey, do you want some Winn-Dixie fried chicken?
He's gone now.
It's a great turn.
Tell me this. How long do you think the Beatles are going to last?
Well, I wish they'd last forever. They could bring happiness to everybody.
Thank you for calling Grabzon USA. This is Jasmine speaking. How may I direct your call?
Yeah, hi is the place that has the fat girl models
Fat girl models is just a place that has the fat girl models
Just like big girls big fat girls
Closed Captioning provided by the Amara.org community
She's 16.
Yeah.
I mean, if she's interested in taking classes, we can take down her information.
Okay, she's 61.
All right.
So we only accept the ages 8 from 19.
Oh, here we go.
Racist.
Racist.
Racist.
Racist.
Racist.
Racist.
Racist.
Racist.
Excuse me?
Racist, I say.
Racist.
Shame on you.
Okay, thank you for calling.
Shame.
Shame.
Shame.
I'll be back in about 10, 11, 12, 18, 20, 30 minutes.
All right, we'll be right back.
It'll be like I wasn't even gone, motherfucker.
For 14 years, he sold frat cocaine.
Madhouse Live
Drug dealers anonymous
Y'all think Uber's the future
Our car's been autonomous
Mules move the drums
Take them to different spots
We just call the shots
By simply moving our thumbs
Madhouse Live
I'm the largest prank call station in the nation.
Prank Call Nation
Madhouse Radio will be back right after this.
You know what, I hope that when you die, they put your GPS in your box and a trap door at the bottom.
So when you die, you open that trap door at the bottom, you check the GPS, and you go straight down to the hell.
Madhouse Radio is back.
You are bigger than a woman.
You are better than a woman.
We'll always be behind you.
Do not let a woman, ever, ever, make you who you are.
Yeah, check it out, see.
The only thing you need to do right here is snarl your fucking head.
Fuck your fucking neck.
We bang niggas in the head and we do it to death.
Reach for fire, boy, you know we're making an ounce.
I know you love your way.
Hey, hello.
Hi.
How you doing?
Good, good, how are you?
Oh, good.
Wait, I was calling about travel.
What is that, sir? I'm sorry?
I'm calling about travel.
You are calling about travel from where to where sir?
Just a minute, let me ask
To Mumbai?
Hello?
Yes, from where?
To Mumbai, from JFK to Mumbai
What date is that sir?
Watch the press conference the next week on the first!
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Are you Bengali? Bangladeshi?
No, if I say I'm Bengali, I will also be like animal.
Maybe that's according to you.
Maybe, but that's what I'm asking if you are.
Well, I'm from Afghanistan.
Oh, that's disgusting though.
Okay, so why would you even deal with me then?
Where in Afghanistan are you from?
Where in Afghanistan I am from.
Yeah.
Why, you are familiar with that area or what?
Yeah, I was stationed at Bagram Air Force Base
Yeah, I was there once. Yeah, I had sex there with someone's mother. Maybe it was you your mother
What is that? Maybe it was your mother? I had the sex with that was there
Maybe you know sounds like I'm in India right now. That's India anywhere
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman
For Spa Style Salon
Dental Assistant for a Spa Style Salon
What?
How do you have a dental assistant in a salon?
You really confused me
Second dental assistant?
Yeah
A spa style
That is weird
You go to the spa and get your dental stuff taken care of?
Wow
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system
Installation Helper
Whatever he says, see, I can help with that.
Help with answering the phone, help with hanging up the phone, help carrying the groceries.
Okay.
What's on hold?
What the fuck is this? Hello?
It's great to hear it, Rainsoft. How may I direct your call?
I was calling about the installation helpers.
Okay. What's the extension on the ad that you're looking at, please?
Two. Sixty-nine.
One moment, I'll transfer you.
Hey. Hey. Hello?
The hiring line for our Plumber and Helper position.
Due to the high volume of calls for that position, this is the first stage of the screening process.
Please leave your name, your phone number, and a little bit of information about yourself.
Motherfucker, that's not acceptable.
Hey, listen, you just dropped me onto a voicemail.
You just dropped me into a voicemail.
What's that about?
How about you be considerate?
No, wait, wait, don't put me on hold, god damn you.
Hello?
I'm calling about a job, but I need to talk to someone.
I don't need to talk to a computer.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm serious.
Okay.
I'm so serious.
I'm serious as cancer.
Do you have someone in your family with cancer?
That's how serious I am.
Our office manager and the owner are actually out of office today.
Has cancer?
Okay.
Our office manager and our owner are actually out of the office today.
Would you like to leave your information in that voicemail?
No, I'd like to talk to whoever's in charge right now.
I don't have anyone here that you can speak with at the moment.
You're the one in charge?
That's you?
You're the highest up?
Like I said, our owners are out of office right now,
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Not in service.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it is.
Don't fuck with me.
I'm Dixie.
Hey, what's up?
This is Cross.
I work at the butcher block over here at the Heathrow store.
Okay.
So I guess...
You want to speak to me, department?
Well, no.
I mean, I guess we're going out of business, huh?
We're closing.
Both of our stores are on the list.
I don't know, man.
Yeah.
No, it just got released, apparently.
I got a copy of the PDF.
We're on 215 stores closed Thursday, March the 1st, and we're on that first wave.
French Avenue, Heathrow, Orange City, Lake Mary, East Orlando, Deberry, Deltona, Winn-Dixie Forums, Employee Forum Boards
Madhouse Live
I hate those guys.
You could probably get away with it.
You could say you're Dominican, but I can't.
I'm white.
You'd be able to handle it.
No, I can't.
What am I going to say?
Alright, bud.
Well, hey, can I talk to the guys in the butcher block?
Just to let them know.
Alright, hold on a second.
Alright, hey, tell everyone you know.
He's like, oh, yeah, man.
He's like, cool, I'm going on an appointment.
I smoke so much weed.
He's like, goodbye, random drug testing.
Hey, Rich.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm gonna cry to get a job at Bravo Supermarket.
Oh, really?
Yeah, where that old Winn-Dixie used to be, down towards the airport boulevard.
Yeah, well, I don't know. I live in Deltona. I mean, I...
Oh, shit. Yeah, they're closing the Providence one.
Well, that store's a shithole anyway.
Yeah, it is. It's full of Puerto Ricans and shit, you know?
So is this one, really, but I mean...
There's a bunch of fucking dirty Puerto Ricans coming to that store, too, right?
Uh, yeah.
Not here. I'm in Heathrow, so luckily we don't have to deal with that dirt, you know?
They're not shutting that one down, right?
Mark
I don't know
I don't see it
but yeah
I don't know
well DeBerry
just got remodeled too
they just remodeled
DeBerry store
you said that one was on there
yep
that's the one
the manager from here
just went down to there
they said they're going
to convert some to Harveys
and the rest
are going to get
sold to Kroger
yeah I did hear
something about
somebody was saying
something about
turning this one
into one of Harveys
after the first year
the grocery
inventory
whatever specialist
Madhouse Live
All right, all right man fucking racist. Oh I got advanced notification for Zach's there might be a party time after all right
Let me uh he was trying to call in the middle that see if I can connect old Zach's machine
This is so crazy rumors start now. This guy's gonna tell everyone yeah corporate called and said they're closing
Why would corporate call I just say they're gonna close let me call Matt and Zach's
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
I know you're very zen, you like to say your mantra, like you like to zone out.
Hey, how you doing big Dom? Are you working there, Dominic?
Hello, hello, what's going on?
People are talking shit about you in the chat.
What were they saying? They do do that.
They do do?
People are not a fan of me.
Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic
Well that's it for kook
No kook
I am like choking down these smoothies
Well dude don't choke
Alright take it
You need to be able to digest that properly
I just I drink it
I'll show you how I drink it
Okay we got a credit department administrator job
I'm not looking at the video
Oh okay
Oh now I am
Okay yeah and how do you drink it
Nice that's how you drink that's about right
Good work
Big gulps
How you like this shirt
Big man
Heaven's gateway team
Dough
Alright credit department administrator
It's great to hear it Rainsoft
How may I get your call
Yes I'm calling about the credit department administrator
And I need to speak to a person
I don't need a recording
Okay I'm sorry about that
Our office manager who's the hiring manager
Here we go
Well she's not in right now would you like to voicemail for her
No I'll talk to you about it
I'm not knowledgeable with all of them.
But you know the building there, right?
I have questions about certain accessibility.
First of all, lupus or systemic lupus erythematosus, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis.
I'm sorry?
Rheumatoid arthritis.
Oh, whatever.
Ways to prank.
It's a great day to biotech.
What?
Hello?
May I help you?
Yeah, hi.
I'm calling about the job.
And I need to talk to a person.
I need to talk to a person.
What job are you referring to?
Lupus Systemic Lupus Multiple Sclerosis Rheumatoid Arthritis Heart Failure Coronary Heart Disease Heart Blood Pressure Crohn's Disease Liver Disease Hepatitis Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Crone's Irritable Bowel Syndrome
I almost drank 60 ounces of smoothie
You need to drink tachyon beams
You always got the best fucking music
Crone's Disease Liver Disease Hepatitis Irritable Bowel Syndrome Lyme Disease Diabetes Neuropathy
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed to Orlando Exxon City Open
No, just say it's Castleberry
Thank you for calling your Winn-Dixie store, located in Castleberry Farm. Our store hours are 7am to 10pm, 7 days a week.
Say you're in Lake Mary
Lake Mary, okay
And this is the Castleberry store
Hello, this is Winn-Dixie Castleberry, how may I help you?
Hey, yeah, how you doing? I'm over here in Lake Mary at the Winn-Dixie Warehouse
Wanted to talk to one of the managers. Apparently we got a thing going on around here. Our stores are going to close down soon
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Well, let me put you on the line with Stan, the store manager, alright?
Okay, yeah, my name is Jacob Sweeney.
My name is Jacob Sweeney.
Okay, that's fine. I'll get him right now. I'll walk up to him personally.
I'm the operation manager, the operation of mechanical engineering management.
Okay, that works. Let me put you on hold.
Thank you.
That's hilarious.
Hey, listen. The distribution center you're calling from is Jacksonville, Florida.
I hope the noise sounds good. At least it's not too cluttered.
It sounds believable. It's so funny.
I'm going to get this shit out of here.
Hey, man. My name is Jacob Sweeney. How are you doing?
Good. How are you?
Yeah, I understand you've got the news, the bad news about the stores, what happens.
What are you referring to?
We're closing down in about a week or so.
Here, March 1st, shutting down all operations.
What store is it?
Yeah.
What store?
The Jacksonville Photo Distribution Center
I'm an operations manager and I'm on the conveyor belt.
Gotta get all this shit out today, he said.
And I started at 5 a.m.
So, what can I do for you?
I was just asking, is the same thing happening to you?
Did you hear about anything about this?
No.
That's crazy.
This is a store in a castle bar.
Yeah, he said about 200 locations were shutting down.
And he said, I own you motherfuckers now.
He was really rude.
And I said, well, what about me? I got a family.
And he said, there's a lot of motherfuckers that have families.
What makes you think you're special?
We don't, we haven't heard of anything.
That's, you better talk to somebody.
You better find out what's going on.
I'm just seeing what's going on.
I'm pretty pissed, man.
It's my livelihood.
Right, I understand.
Okay.
I haven't had to do labor in about five years.
Now I'm up here like a goddamn motherfucker sorting shit out.
I suggest you talk to your boss.
My boss, he kicked my boss out.
He came in, he gave my boss a piece of like an envelope, like a manila envelope, and my boss walked out.
I'm trying to call him and he told me not to call him anymore. He's not the boss anymore.
What are you looking for, a job or something?
No, I was just saying what's going on.
Why are you calling me?
I would say what's going on. What we're going to do, I'm trying to see, like, if it's just localizers, the same thing's happened to you yet. Goddamn.
No, we don't, we haven't heard anything.
Okay, well, you better prepare yourself. I'm just letting you guys know. This shit went down earlier today, motherfucker.
Okay, well, I appreciate it. Let me know. Thank you.
Okay, my name's Jacob Sweeney, all right?
All right
That sounds real believable it sounds like you're just in a distribution center all pissed off
You haven't done that kind of work in years
The funniest part is there's like next to no unions in Florida so like there's no worker protection
Call Nation Madhouse Live
The
Was very high yeah, like a rough penny of the smoothies maybe like some rum or something
I'm kind of gross no no yeah, I don't but I mean I'll go straight from smoothies to beer though
And is what I'll be doing shortly
Do you give yourself any break time in between the two because I would imagine I kind of that's like a wrestling match in
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
This is bullshit.
That sounds like such a fun job, man.
I'm just saying.
It probably isn't, but it just sounds like...
It keeps you busy.
It sounds like you're juggling milk cartons.
Are there any inside up perks of the job?
Hello, Mike.
He's just chopping.
I guess the perks are the benefits.
The job itself sucks, but the benefits are amazing.
Ain't that how it always is?
Yeah.
With a super manual labor type job, yeah.
Do you use like a hammer to smash things, is that what you do, or do you use like a machine?
Yep, thank you for calling Winn-Dixie, this is Mike, how can I help you?
Hey, it's Cross, I'm here at the distribution center in Jacksonville, hello
Okay, how can I help you?
So, a guy from, some of the guys from corporate just showed up here with a guy in a suit from Kroger
And said that everything here needs to wind down, gave us a list of stores that are going to be closing on March the 1st
And I guess your location is one of them
Appopka Violent Road
Cross
Jacksonville Distribution Center
Distribution Operations Manager
Cross
Jacksonville Distribution Center
Distribution Operations Manager
Jacksonville Distribution Center
South
Appopka Violent Road
Stores
Closing in wave 1
215 stores total
Thursday, March 1st
I bet next Thursday a week from this Thursday so I guess they need to make
changes to the supply chain now in order to facilitate that and they're had they
appointed me as liaison for this store we haven't received any information can
you check your fax or your email because that this just went out now if you want
to understand CNBC is gonna be reporting at any second now is there a risk of
You're dead? Can you get hit by the machine?
oh yeah, it's anywhere, you work next to it
Oh no, oh no, don't fall into the crushing machine
There was a kitty that like that used to be in the warehouse and eat all the rats
You ate him?
And then the kitty just popped
You eat him?
No, it got crushed on the tongue pack
Oh shit
Poor kitty
I hear the machine reversing, you watch out Dom, you watch out
That's me doing that
Oh
We got a good combination here
You're the fourth one
Hey, you want me to go next to my co-worker that's singing?
Yeah, sure.
Hello?
Yeah, I'm here.
Yeah, I don't have anything on that.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, well, I mean, I don't know what to tell you.
I mean, kid, do you have any instructions at all at this point yet?
No, can I get your information and I'll call you back?
Yeah, Cross, I'm with the Jacksonville Distribution Center.
What's your first name, Cross?
Ruben.
We're going to be pulling, I guess all your stuff is, 30% off for all general merchandise.
All seasonal is going to go 70% off immediately.
All Valentine's stuff, if it's still there.
All March Madness items.
Anything green, any St. Patrick's Day stuff.
Okay, what's the contact number for you?
It also says the bakery is going to wind down by this Thursday.
So, alright.
Hey, keep this quiet too, alright?
All right, please, like, you know, we're trying to put something down low until we can go through official channels right now.
All right, good luck to you. I'll talk to you later. Thanks. Give me a call back.
All right, whatever.
Did your co-worker stop singing?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
He was singing some type of Mexican song. I thought that would have been perfect.
Yeah, we got about 15 minutes left here.
I got a uh a stepper exercise thing delivered but it was too big for me to bring it up
one of the door guys gonna bring it up i was gonna say get one of those nice
black gentlemen call you call me say hey it's big guy like oh hey what's up
what up yeah you tipped and weed oh yeah they're my guys he gives him hits of his pen
i gave him a couple of pills the other day yeah hi this is cross i'm calling from the
Distribution Center in Jacksonville
Hi, okay, so I've just been handed a list of the stores that are going to be shutting down on March 1st, Thursday
And I've got your location, 1347 East Vine Street on there
Alright, so I'm calling to kind of start the, get the ball in motion for that
Okay
Yeah, hi, my name is Cross, I'm calling from the Distribution Center in Jacksonville
Okay, I'm calling because I've just been handed a list of the restructuring plan
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
and uh we need to go ahead and start uh winding things down in the supply chain
okay what what do you think what is that exactly what do you mean what do you say
what do i manufacture what are they gonna they're gonna bring something here they're gonna bring
something there no we're closing the store the store is going to close next thursday the march
the first permanent closing yeah march first march first okay i'm sorry are you the store manager
no oh shit i'm the only excuse me i'm only supposed to talk to the store i'll ask for
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
So, I'm going to be sending you a fax shortly with all the detailed information for the firing of the employees and in what order to do it.
Also, you need to start now by putting anything seasonal that you have 30% off.
I'm sorry, 70% off.
Then it includes anything green for March, March Madness items, and anything related to St. Patrick's Day.
Okay.
Hello.
Sergio.
Okay.
Your bakery, can I talk to the bakery manager because we have to wind down bakery now.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
As of right now, and we're going to be pushing that update to the computer system, so that'll be ringing up that way here in just a few seconds.
Okay, all right. Do you have any questions or concerns?
No.
Oh, shit. All right, I gotta go.
Okay.
All right.
Hey, Jesus, something quite cynical.
I don't think he was believing it. At the end, he wasn't believing it.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
This is a situation because it snows.
That's okay. Okay.
Okay.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Comments 0
Nobody has said anything yet.
Log in to comment or to suggest fixes.