Lean Machine
16 Aug 2018 · 2 h 32 min · 10,428 words · source
Transcript
Well I didn't die in a fiery wreck today
Did you just call me ignorant?
I hate you
I don't understand
What was that?
Are you kidding me?
There we go
I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live
I hope my speech can compete with that bad mouth style that we get from Carlito
That's my big amigo
So just kick back to listen to this cat call people
When this show goes live I'll be like damn this shit's bitchin'
Stop whatever I'm doing to tune in and listen
Madhouse Live
Deja Vu
YouTube Channel
Hey! How ya doin?
The Casino
Hello
Ma'am
That's not fair
Hey Milkman
I'm on hold, I'm on run your ass
Can you explain to this lady that I have to make an order?
Please, she ain't gonna pick up now
Thank you for calling, can I serve you?
I'd like to make an order, please
Hello
Can I place you at home for a moment?
Yeah, are you transferring me?
Well, you're calling Denny's Restaurant
Yeah, and I'm trying to call to make an order, you know
Well, ignorant. What are you getting at?
Call me ignorant?
Ignorant.
Okay, well, I'm going to go ahead and not take that order, okay?
Fuck you.
Thank you.
Fuck you.
She's going to go ahead and not take that order.
She's going to go ahead.
She did not take that, yeah.
She did not take that order.
We got a white girl in there.
We got a white girl in there.
She just can't afraid of that now.
Oh, yeah, Milkman. How you doing, big guy?
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Call Nation Madhouse Live
Cold smoothie with with fruit the fruit smoothie. Okay. Sure. I'll take those the blended one
Stupid calls. Yeah
You there buddy, yeah, I thought you had hung up so were you ready for that order?
Like I said, I want a fruit fucking smoothie ignorant red fruit red fruit. What's up? Red fruit red fruit. Yeah machine
Machine
Machine
Machine
Yes
That's the answer
That's right there
God put that
Right here
Right in my life
Do you want a lean machine?
I want a machine
Yes
I want the machine
Motherfucker
I want a lean machine
You want anything else?
Yeah can you
Put it in a container
I like it in a cone
Not in a cup please
Oh but you have like a cone
Do you have a waffle cone
Or anything?
No we don't
We don't have anything
That comes in a cone
Shit
Do you have a bag
You can put it in?
Like a baker's pipe
That's the thing
I put it on a stick
Yeah on a stick
I'm gonna come there. Do you have a salt shaker there I can use?
Yes.
I'm gonna shake some salt on your bicep. I'm gonna bite the shit out of it.
I love flesh. I like to eat flesh and meat. I like A1 sauce, also on buttocks.
I even take my dentures out, shiny.
Yeah. How'd you go? How'd you go like Las Vegas?
You have girlfriend?
Hold on just one second.
You have boyfriend, girlfriend?
Yeah, I like to make an order for one machine.
Hurry the fuck up.
Dang it.
What was what?
What? Oh yeah, well I wanted a machine. Yeah, yeah, and you were back there saying, oh, you gotta hear this guy, Jessica, or whatever.
Yeah, but why were you talking to people about me? What's so incredible about me?
Hello?
Hey, honey. Hi. I'd like to make an order.
Um, so we actually don't accept call-in orders.
You're a fucking slut. You're a fucking slut, you know that? Fucking asshole.
Oh man, we extracted a lot of meat out of that call.
No, he's still on it. Hey, man. Hey, effeminate man, you there?
Hey, what's up?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Can you...
Can you have the big back?
Tropical Smoothie, I'm trying to help you.
Hey, big girl, how you doing?
Hello?
I think I'm in this call right now.
Oh, yeah, I'm just connecting a few here.
You seem like a nice guy, you know?
I figure maybe you want to hear this mess with the...
Do you ever hang out with the P.O.D.'s Tropical Smoothie in town?
Do you ever, like, do you guys talk?
Do you have a forum somewhere or a subreddit that you guys talk shit on?
Uh, not really.
Is Tropical Smoothie here in Vegas all owned by, like, one guy?
Or...
Uh, it's owned by a different owner.
They're all different owners.
That's cool.
That's cool.
Pee Pee
Have they tried to sell you on their franchising shit?
Yeah, like have they been like, you know, we got good franchising options
I don't know
If you make a million dollars
You gotta be honest though, the smoothies at Planet Smoothie are what's up, you know
That's better than you guys
I'm trying to be poor
Hello
Yeah
Hey what was your name?
My name?
Yeah, your name
Allen?
Why?
Allen, that's a girl's name, I need you to make an order please
Okay
Alright, I need one machine
One name machine?
Yeah, you ignorant
Hello?
Hello?
Anything?
Anything else?
Yeah.
One machine.
You got that?
One machine?
Yeah.
I want that in a cone.
What do you got?
Boxes?
Don't you charge more for a waffle cone?
I like it in a waffle cone, please.
What do you mean you don't have waffle cone?
Listen.
Don't be ignorant with me.
All right?
Don't get nasty.
Because you're going to have a big problem with me.
Who's in charge?
Who's in charge over there?
Who's the overseer?
Who's Jefe?
Motherfucker.
Don't you hang up.
I heard what you said, you little shit.
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The
Howard
cany crack
cross
cany crack
cross
with the
Death Star
then it's a shatter
cany crack
thats hard to say
cany crack cross with death star
cany crack cross
Right
Cany crack
So what they do
they put a little tiny X
Yeah
shatter
you gotta say shatter
Shatter Shatter
all right
and
all
all
all
all
all
all
MadhouseLive.com
TuneIn TuneIn
www.patreon.com
I mean
Push and play
You gotta pay, you gotta pay, motherfucker
That's all I'm saying
You don't have to pay
$5 gets you horse membership
And that lets you get into the Discord chat as well
And hopefully pretty soon we're gonna launch that other show
Weekly show just for horse members
Discord.gg slash pranks
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discord.gg
discord.gg
oh my god
d as in dick
i s c as in charlie
o r d as in dick
dot g g
like good girl
slash pranks
I'm not fucking around this is for real
this is the real
you're not gonna go
if you're not serious why do you make me do that
if you're not gonna be serious
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Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Let me see what happens if I try to call him.
Yeah, man, find out.
If he's too hammered to answer the phone,
hopefully you'll be able to speak to it, maybe.
Alright, I'm trying to Facebook call him right now.
I don't know how that works.
Anyway.
Don't you have his regular direct number?
No, not on me. Not just here.
I used to have it.
I don't know if I have it anymore.
I don't think I have the current one.
Anyway, not working.
Okay, well.
I'll wait for him. He might call back.
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
But this one is this is from what should we call that our obituary guy, you know, I don't
Hear he is
He's upset
My Coleman fucking shit was the greatest most little fucking rappers of all time died February 15th
1999 I got fucking damn it. He's also known for helping to pioneer
Pop Sub Genre Horrorcore
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Well, I'm going to test my cell phone here, but we got to we got to start focusing here because we seem to be all over the place. We had some good calls, but now we're kind of, you know, our new listeners are probably like, what the fuck? They sure are talking and a lot. And I don't like that, Milkman. We need to get back on track here.
Today, we're using the control number to get around something. I don't know why. It's because it was working.
Well, here's an incoming call. This one's working.
Hello?
Hey, hey, hello.
Hey, who's this caller?
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I just tried you know yeah I just called in I
yeah because I just wanted to send an obituary I just felt like I don't know
at the time and then it you know you read it and I was like
all right I'll send another one felt really good about yourself like you
contributed yeah you've you've done Eazy-E was the first one you did I
believe yeah yeah wrong there yeah yeah that's
no here's the first one yeah yeah that's cool you want to hang out for a
prank I'm calling do you know they got the machine a
tropical smoothie now oh all right whatever you said was on
the hold I know I'm ghetto set up here man
Get a little spic, Puerto Rico.
Are you going to read my obituary when I die?
Oh, yeah, for sure, man.
Do a good one for Aretha.
Please do a good one for Aretha, man.
Fat bitch.
How does she live so long?
I don't know if she didn't die from diabetes or something.
B.B. King was such a good one.
I'm slow with the mouse today.
God, things are just slipping past me today.
God damn it.
All right, cool.
So does that count for last week's or does that count for this week's obituary?
Did you have another one?
No, that makes up for it.
That makes up for it.
But I like the segment.
having fun
yeah ahead of time you're actually part
of the plan for the show I'm trying to
do a prank for you did you have any hey
hey yeah I want a frisky you have to
make an order please okay all right I
need a machine a lean machine a machine
machine machine sure all right I need
that cold and like that in a waffle cone
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Door toшку
Call1198
Call 11 uczu
Call 11
Call 11
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Rajka
Call 11
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This is a new discovery, man.
I like the meme machine.
Kind of like the van on Scooby-Doo.
The mystery machine.
Yeah.
The meme machine.
That's our version.
It's a lean machine.
Look, I'm trying to put in Planet Smoothie,
and I just typed in Planet Machine.
I'm fucking stupid.
Planet Smoothie.
Yeah, there are no Planet Smoothies in this part of the world, apparently.
Holy shit.
Well, look it up and see what the database says about the wiki. It's probably something low. All right. All right
Hey, look, here's another color. It's working in some form or fashion. Hello. Thanks for calling. Please. Don't be a troll a hater
Hello, you're on the air
Hey, how are you?
Who's this? I'm sorry. Did you just give your name? This is Carl Carl big Carl Carl who call Sanders?
Yeah, talk to you on Facebook. Just say I just joined your patreon did oh cool. Well, welcome to
Clivesdale
some point of the I'll make it one one day you be a lip is on horse and
those are the most beautiful
horses the most graceful you know you know they're
the fire or turn around from Portugal about evolution
yeah you're you like smoothies how do you feel about some
you know I haven't had a smoothie in years me neither
yeah well there you go across from my apartment that you don't have a man
Get the one at McDonalds, dude.
That'll eliminate any health concerns you have.
You know what I miss?
Those are frosty.
I used to love them.
Those are so full of sugar.
I know.
That's why I can't have them anymore.
But fuck fucking frosty.
Hello?
Plant smoothie, Matt?
Yeah, I have to make an order.
Can you speak up, please?
Yeah, what can I get for you?
I'd like one machine.
What?
One machine.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
You make smoothies with yogurt, sherbert, and nutrition-oriented add-ins.
I don't, like, do the soft-serve or anything like that here.
I know, but I'm just thinking you could maybe make it so you could put it in there, you know?
We don't have any, like, cones to do that with.
All right, but I mean, is there a Publix nearby I can stop at?
Yeah.
All right.
All right, but, I mean, I'm presuming you've got some kind of rule that you can't put in the cone for me.
I mean, like, I can't stop you from doing it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Okay, but can I do it inside the store?
What's the viscosity?
What's the viscosity like?
Do you think it's going to just drip through?
Is that the problem?
Just making me speak.
Tell me what they got.
Is it green?
Is it green?
Why don't you put your dick in the blender?
Fuck out of here.
I feel like they can put sprinkles or something.
Sprinkles, yes.
Yes, I'm going to ask for a sundae.
I was trying to mention it to you, but you didn't hear me.
Well, I heard chocolate.
I heard chocolate but I was thinking
I said sprinkles too or nuts
I was trying to get those ideas
I just wanted to say hi
I got a roll here
God bless you buddy
Thanks for calling brother
Be careful out there
Watch out man
Keep your wallet in your front pocket
I'll see you bye
That's very important if you're a guy
In a bad neighborhood you put your wallet in your front pocket
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman
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unbelieavable
a
a
but we don't have
Hershies
Pineapple
nuts
do you have any sack nuts
sack nuts
I don't know what those are
I'm sorry
I don't think we have those
oh they're like little nuts
come in a sack
you know
you gonna have those
ok
alright
what else
what else you got
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
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Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project www.theclosedcaptioning.com
Just, just that's it.
Yep.
Okay, I need sprinkles.
Sprinkles.
Alright, pineapple, cherry, fudge.
We don't have any fudge.
Do you have peanuts?
I'm sorry?
Do you have peanuts?
We have peanut butter.
Okay, that'll work.
Alright, and I'll have that in a waffle cone.
Uh, we only have, we only sell smoothies here.
Oh, shit.
Aw, damn.
Where do you go?
You go to Pine Ridge, or where do you go?
Uh, college.
Oh, you're fucking stupid then, aren't you?
Alright, whatever, I'm done with that.
I was trying to see if she could go back to my high school.
Hey, thank you for calling.
I'm Carlito.
How can I help you?
I'll figure it out.
It's true to Danny.
Hello?
Hi, I'm Carlito.
Please turn your radio machine down.
Whoa.
Hey, what's up?
How you doing?
Who's calling?
Hey, who's this?
Ewan?
No, this is Bate.
This is Gay.
Hey, Gay.
What's up?
Yeah, good.
Good.
Is that Abe or Gay?
I couldn't hear him.
Good.
Yeah, how you doing, big guy?
Good.
What's going on?
Good, good.
I have a question.
I was trying to find this one podcast.
I was trying to find it a while ago.
It was the pressure washing one.
Pressure washing.
Pressure washing.
Where you were like, oh, let me see your big boy.
Let me see your son.
What?
I need some favors.
I don't remember this at all.
She put her son on the phone.
About pressure washing?
I remember he did something about pressure washing.
Yeah, I think he was calling up somebody, buying one or some shit.
It got crazy.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
We're on a first-name basis. I'll see you later.
Thanks for calling, Gabe.
All right, Gabe, everybody.
I didn't care, Gabe. I couldn't care less.
Gabe, Gabriel.
Dude, if your name's Gabriel, bro, just go with Gabe.
Just go with Gabriel.
Don't shorten it to Gabe because what happens is what I do.
I don't care.
I asked him because I couldn't hear.
I mean, if you identify as gay, that's fine.
I don't give a shit.
No, he didn't just call and say, hey, this is Gabe.
I don't call places and say, hey, this is hetero.
He's not.
I can't hear very good like sometimes when they come on that's why I always say ask in their name that's good policy the callers when you call in announce your name that way you know what I've been meaning to say I thank you for reminding me gay and milkman have both reminded me when you call in we love having you on maybe the first thing is when I say hello welcome to this madhouse please don't troll us say hey this is to give us your name real quick so we know who we're talking so we're not with this hi hi hey who's this
We gotta catch who you are, wait time, talk, and like what you're like, you know.
When all you gotta do is announce your name, we can get immediately to reading.
Tell us who you are. Let's go, let's go.
You know, we got a lot of cars to get to.
Listen, everyone, I wanted to mention over on YouTube.com,
I wanted to thank the following people who have donated Super Chats in previous weeks.
I finally set up a system so that if you do donate a Super Chat machine,
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Like, subscribe and
Real quick some business
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405-396-6884 is the number to dial if you'd like to be on the air.
405-39-MEL.
Why did he say suffering suck-a-tache?
No, was that Sylvester that said suffering suck-a-tache?
Sylvester said that.
Sylvester the cat machine said that.
Yeah, I don't know what that cocksucker said, you know?
I have no idea.
There you go.
Thank you.
Back to prank calls.
Let's get some Parkman numbers.
We've got a lot of smoothies.
Parkman
Horse Ranch
Horse Ranch
Caller thanks for calling
You're on the call
I'm not going to help you
Yo this is Hobzoid
Zach Hobbs
How you doing buddy
Zach Hobbs
Zach Hobbs
You remember the drawings
We talked about that a while back
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Congratulations, man.
Take pictures of your work, man.
We'd like to at least see them.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, I got a...
Did you have, like, the shit in the toilet?
You had, like, one was called the shit in the toilet
or something like that, I think, or...
Use your JPEG phone machine.
Take a picture.
I would just listen to the show, like,
over and over and over again,
and I would be drawing a piece,
and then when it got time to title it,
it was obvious that it was about
Horse Machine Ranch Road.
It was that era of, you know,
The Madhouse
The Horse Years
A lot of job calls
Yeah
Yeah, The Horse Years
Yeah, yeah
But, yeah, yeah
So, look, check this out
I love that you're doing this format
I want to talk about one call that you made
And it is to the guy who made the suspenders
This is kind of a recent call
Yes, okay
Where?
The no-sag suspenders, yeah
Yes, like, I just
Like, I listen to that when I need a pick-me-up
Because it's so beautiful how you
How you just, like, kind of wind into it a little bit
Carlito Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman
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And he's like a cement guy or like asphalt or something.
Right.
And then you go into how you make that mud.
And I think you tell, then there's a part of it where either it's that call or another call where you talk about shitting in a bucket.
And it's all about making mud.
Okay.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Yeah.
I'm ignorant.
What can I say?
All right.
Zach, you want to have Zach?
Zachary?
Zach, I don't know how you go.
I'm calling a horse stable call.
You can stay on if you want.
No, no.
I'm late tonight, so I'm going to jump off at work.
I love you, buddy.
Great to talk to you.
All right.
Good work.
And hello to Milkman.
I love you too, Milkman.
All right.
Congrats on the sale, man.
He's gone.
That's awesome.
I had, he had, when he had the gallery set up, he said it to me.
Hello, this is Karen with Equine Country Estates.
Also known as the best treasure hunt for our people.
I talk too long, man.
Come on, man.
I'm sorry, Parkman.
Parkman.
What about that cow?
That horse ranch?
The horse ranch.
Horse ranch.
Horse stable.
That's what I'm calling right now.
Oh.
There's a list of them.
Yeah, hi.
Is this the horse machine?
The horse machine?
Yeah.
You're looking for...
I need to board my horse, Akulo.
You need to...
I'm sorry.
You need to board your horse.
His name is Akulo.
Oh, hello.
Yeah, I need to board my horse.
His name is Akulo.
I'm Puerto Rican.
Oh, okay.
I have a horse named Akulo.
I need to board him.
He lost a race.
Got it.
Hey, Carlito. It's Chris. What's up?
Hey, big Chris, how you doing? Thanks for sticking to the rule of saying your name. Yeah
Chris is on top
In my voice say, yeah, I gotta change that but the thing is that people call
See, I have a setup so people can call back from prank when I prank them, but no one's been doing it yet
But I don't want to just say you've reached madhouse radio
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Let me call Milkman back here real quick.
Do you want to stand up for a prank yourself or you got to fly?
Everyone's in a rush today.
Everyone's like, oh, go, go, go, go, go, go.
I just got done with all my shit.
Oh, good.
It's just, you know, you said my name and I fucking fangirled.
Oh, yeah.
Did you get a little, yeah, I heard you.
Yes.
Did you get a little jump?
Yeah.
Milkman, did you get a little jump in your pee-pee?
What happened here, man?
I tried to get everybody number.
Well, yeah, because I have a caller on the line and it doesn't let, but I had to call you.
We have Chris. Big Chris is online, and he does Prank Call. He's going to do a Prank Call with us, Milkman. Yay!
Okay, all right.
When I listen to him, I'm not doing shit. I can throw you the way.
Whirlpool Product Assistance.
Welcome to the Whirlpool Customer Experience.
What she said.
For over a century, we've believed in every...
Shut up. Your shit is shit.
You've reached us outside of our normal business hours.
Please call back between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. Eastern, Monday through Friday, or 8 a.m. to 4.30 p.m. Eastern.
That took too long.
Yeah, it took too long.
Oh, well.
Sorry, Parkman.
I failed you, bro.
Hair Station Rental.
Oh, nice.
So you could be a barber guy.
Nice.
Calling the Candid Salon.
Angelique speaking.
How can I help you?
Hi.
How you doing, Vagina?
What's your name?
Vaginalique?
Angelique.
Vaginalique.
All right, I see that you've got a hair station rental open.
I like to do hair.
Actually, my owner is currently not in.
We do have spaces available, so I can actually get your name and information,
and I can actually have her send you the information about it
and probably follow up on a meeting.
Sure, yeah.
You want to take my information and my number and all that?
Of course.
What's your first name?
Akulo.
Akulo, A-C-U-L-O.
I'm on Parkman now.
I'm on Parkman now.
That was a Parkman now.
Which one?
That one right now.
Hair Station.
Hair Station.
Hair Station Rental.
Okay, I'm with you.
I'm with you, Janet.
Hair Station Rental.
Love you.
You're the best, man.
Hello?
Hello?
Yeah, calling about that Hair Station Rental.
I think we got cut off.
Yeah, I think so.
What's your name?
My name is Akulo, A-C-U-L-O.
Okay, and your last name?
Ruiz Dash Cruz Dash Gonzalez Dash Gomez Dash Jones.
Okay, and then what's your phone number?
Okay, I'll have her give you a call.
Her name is Hannah. Thank you so much.
What was my name? Read it back.
Oh, my God.
That's very cooperative.
I don't even remember the extent to my name went with that.
Caller Chris
Chris I gotta let you go
Clear the line I want to remind you
To please
Pick me on the Facebooks
One more thing Carlito before you hang up on me
Sure man
So the main reason I got into you
Is because of that phone number you have
Because in school
I have no internet
But I do have cell service
Nice that's the plan
That's the point
We got our pay off finally
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I don't know if I have that
pulling down the pants prank call
what was the call
because I got to take a wee
I got a wee wee real quick
but I could play that
let's see if I can pull it up
I can still hold my bladder a little longer
when I put it that way
but we need to get some more
Matt Hillock Show
405-396-6884
405-396-6884
405-396-6884
is the number to dial
to join the show
machine tonight.
Wherever you're listening from, here's another caller.
Caller, thank you for joining.
Please don't play audio of other prank callers.
Hello?
No, no, no. I wouldn't do that.
Oh, okay. What's going on?
Mikey G from the Bronx
What's up, yo?
Oh, what's up, Madhouse?
You're the other Bronx guy.
Hey, how you doing?
Mikey.
Mikey.
Mikey from the Bronx.
Milkman.
Yeah, what's up?
Mikey from the Bronx.
Mikey from the Bronx.
Nice, man.
Who's the other guy?
Who's the other guy?
That's Milkman.
Hello?
No, the other guy from the Bronx.
Oh, no, I meant Brooklyn.
Brooklyn Cell.
You guys are nowhere near each other.
How far is Brooklyn from the Bronx?
Can you walk there or something?
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
The Yankees play in the Bronx now, okay?
Yeah, they always they always have and there was actually a time when you could see
Like where the New York Giants used to play the baseball Giants in Manhattan and then in Brooklyn
They used to have the Ebbets Field with it with the Brooklyn Dodgers
Animal Hospital
600
We do not, I'm sorry
We have the position but
We have a long time employee that
Does the janitorial work and the handyman work
But I thought you had a job position open
Oh, did we have a
She might have posted an ad for it
That I didn't know about
Maybe it's your position that's getting taken out
And you don't know because of that
I'm a receptionist
Yeah, but maybe you're not that good or whatever because you're like you don't even know
Yeah, okay
She was not happy about this Oh
Really okay
McKay was speaking. How could I help you? I'm Mike. I'm calling about the janitor position hiring for that
Carlito Laugh Track Madhouse Live
I forgot I'm a cocksucker
Stay on for one more
You wanna do a prank or you're just chilling
You can just chill
I'll tell you what I got
It's Slim Pickens
I got a sushi chef position
Can you work with that
If not I can take it
Sushi chef and this is in Vegas
Home of the machine
Home of the Raiders
They're gonna be moving there in a season or two
Fuck Oakland right Milkman
Oakland can take a fucking hike
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm half Japanese, but are you Filipino?
Yeah, I'm Filipino.
Oh, you know, I love this.
No, right now I'm kind of busy.
So if you want, you can come up here.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Why echo?
I'm not talking to you.
I'm not setting an appointment.
You stupid Amazon piece of shit.
VF sushi.
What VF park?
Yeah.
What were you saying in Tagalog?
Tagalog.
Mabaho.
Smelly fart.
Smelly fart.
And then like, fuck your mother.
Fuck your mother.
Are you Filipino?
Is that how you knew that?
No, I'm white.
I'm white.
I'm white.
I'm white as it can be.
I'm one of those white Irish.
He knows the good words.
I was going to say, because I didn't know there were racist words for Filipinos until
I don't like Omarosa
I don't trust her
I don't trust any of them
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I saw that a few weeks ago, right? Evil Dave. Yeah, I saw that on the Twitter machine. Yeah, rest in peace, I guess, huh?
Yeah, well, I'm not a big Howard Stern fan anymore, just like you, just because of the way he's acting nowadays. It's, like you said, very watered down, so I'm not a huge fan.
And shitting on podcasters, and I'm a podcaster, so fuck that, you know? Bullshit.
Yeah, exactly. It's your medium. You should be allowed to do whatever you want.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
So, you know, I got you back.
I got it dialed.
Milkman can only be on the line 15 minutes and it cuts off.
Is that why he kept on kind of quote unquote hanging up on him?
It was just because of 15 minute limit?
Yeah, there's a 15 minute.
It knocks him right out after 15 minutes every time.
Sucks.
It's strange.
Yeah, it's just sitting somewhere.
Oh, lost him.
You there?
I'm back.
No, I'm still here.
I interrupted you and I cut myself off.
No, as I dial numbers, you're going to hear your hold music.
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Bill Harman District Manager for Wendy's
Our company is dedicated to providing our customers with a pleasant dining experience
and we do appreciate any feedback you can give to make us better.
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Mass when they leave a lot of stuff unguarded
I know
Did your
Thank you for calling David's Bridal
Is there any security guards at a bridal store
well show
just catch a lot of
Oh show oh my god my wife
Athena dragged me before we got married she dragged me to a bridal show
That was there was some crazy fucking
Please hold while your call is being transferred
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
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I don't know, we'll see, we'll see.
Thank you for calling David's Bridal.
Restore hours and directions.
Press 1 to reach our operations department.
I'm sorry, all lines are busy now.
Please try your call again later.
Oh, come on, all lines are busy, really?
What were you saying there, Carl?
Sorry, go ahead.
Any chance of getting together with Mr. Biggs in any capacity?
I didn't know you were even a fan.
Oh, dude, yeah, yeah.
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I don't know how much time you spent interacting with Stacy compared to Brad, but maybe mr. Biggs
Thank you for calling music makes you move
Please hold and a representative will be right with you on the air
We're gonna have to come back. Hello. Well, man, they came back that fast shit ain't gonna work
JettBlue Puerto Rican Vacation Packages
Thank you for calling JetBlue Vacations, where you can save a bundle by booking a bundle.
JetBlue Vacations combines round-trip JetBlue flights with a wide range of hotels and car rentals.
Yeah, JetBlue is a good airline.
I used to fly JetBlue from here, where I live in PA, to Orlando direct before I got a book.
It was a good flight, but then they got butted by Southwest and they left this airport here.
24-7 customer support and our best price guarantee plus you can earn true blue points towards
It was great because you could pay 20 bucks and you get upgraded a business class and it was fucking worth it
They gave you all the drinks you wanted your expected
Less than six minutes
Echo set a timer for five minutes. All right call. I'm gonna let you go so you can clear up the line
I'm gonna thank you for joining though. Thanks for all the feedback
Call Back
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Like $200 don't waste your money on a pack. I done did it but yeah, fuck that
I'm not gonna be walking around portable with that $300 thing walking around with like a PlayStation 4 just so I can use weed
No, no, no these motherfuckers. I'm talking about you can put in your pocket. They're small the smaller in the remote man out
Hello
Hey, what's your name?
Madhouse Live
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Offset
Infowars.com
What kind of packets are you looking for?
What kind of packets?
Yeah.
Well, look, I like a hotel that has a toilet in it, you know, that I can use, like a western
toilet.
All our hotels are modern, like any hotel here in the U.S.
Okay.
And does the water go?
How does the water work?
The water works perfectly, just like any hotel here in the United States.
I'm sorry, I have to call. I have to end this call.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
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The Queen Is Dead
Hello you ignorant bastard
What the hell's going on over there?
It was cool man, he's Puerto Rican dude
That damn Puerto Rican, what the hell's wrong with that people?
You never heard of a Naculo toilet?
Bye now, huh?
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The Barking Spider
Caller on the air
Please don't be a mean person
Hey Carlito
Oh man I had to go
Take a break soon
You called early
Hey thanks for offering to help me out
Hopefully I don't have to have you
Keep doing the prank calls of the week
But it sucks I even made the whole thing
I was ready to go and it fucking died on me
I don't mind
No problem
Thank you buddy. Thanks, man. No problem. What's up milk, man? Hey good to hear you man. Thanks for helping out, bro
We appreciate any time. I enjoy it. He's too busy doing marijuana to talk to you. I got your numbers, too
I'll call one of them right now
Share a large cool on it. What's a colon? Is it a house a colonial house? Yeah
Yeah, we have those in my state
I'm more and now I'm more into like a ranch house
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.
A more ranch house kind of guy.
Let me try to dial that again.
It sounds like he's on the phone.
Or she.
Just brought a new computer today.
Speaking of computers the other day.
Oh, yeah?
What'd you get?
You got a Compaq?
Compaq.
I don't even think there's such a thing anymore.
I got an Asus.
Asus.
It is Asus, right?
I think I...
I know the company came out and made a video on YouTube saying,
this is how you say the name of our company.
It was a Korean lady or something.
She's like, you'll say it.
So how do I know for sure if she has an accent?
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic...
You got an Acrolo computer.
If I try back at stable 80 minutes, she never calls you back.
Well, after I pee...
She'll be out of the bank by now.
I would hope so.
Yeah, you better hurry up and test them.
Well, no, we got a break.
Break's coming up.
I'm going to take a break after this call attempt here, because I got to go pee, and
that way we come back and we get a nice, beefy hour.
Nice, beefy...
Go whack your beefy.
Beefy hour.
Beefy Beefy
Ethan you're welcome to call back in later if you want
Yes sir thank you
Cause you get cut short and that's not right
I got 12 minutes before I get cut off
Hello
Hi you got a female roommate wanted
Yes
Okay alright what can you tell me about the room
Is it a room for Cher
Is it for you
No it's for a female
I'm not a female
What's the name
Well she goes by Chula but her name is Stacy
Okay
What can you tell me about her
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99% CST
54%
Mr Micah
48%
99%
Only
0.38%
Only 0.45%
Only 0.40%
Only 0.37%
Only 0.34%
Only 0.48%
Only 0.45%
0.04%
I'm off
saving the world
but if you would leave your name
number in a short message
fuck you Tony Soprano
alright I can't hold it anymore
Ethan I gotta let you go
I gotta take a pee
I gotta take a break
alright bro
oh it was uh
it was uh
Vinny Pastor by the way
Vinny Pastor
yeah
yeah
true
alright well thanks for correcting me
you got me on my Soprano
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
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You're listening to Madhouse Live
I'm the largest prank call station in the nation
Prank Call Nation
If you're looking for me, you can find me in this book
Only fly bitches ride with the boss
Take a look, do a flash
We're high in your head
Madhouse Radio will be back right after this Madhouse Radio is back
This Maze You Know I'm Sayin' You Got Niggas That Don't Like Me For Whatever Reason You Got Niggas That Don't Wanna See Me Rich You Got Niggas That's Mad Cause I'm Always With They Bitch Then You Got Niggas That Just Don't Like Me You Know Those P.A.C. Niggas But You Know I Pop A Lot Of Shit But I Back It Up Though See There's A Difference A Lot Of Niggas Pop Shit A Lot Of Niggas Don't Make Hits But It's Like This Whole Bad Boy Shit We Come To Bring It To Y'all Niggas Me, B.I., Puff, Lox, Whoever, Black Rock
We want to dance. We dance, Milkman. We dance.
We never mind that.
I work every day.
I work every day.
Yeah, I'm a reporter.
Niggas know.
Speaking of...
Excuse me. Speaking of father reporters, holy shit, huh? The Catholic shit.
Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
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Get Big in the 90s
Madhouse Live
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T-Y-M-B-U-T-R-A-S-T-R-A-N-T-E-N-T-A-L-A-N-T-A-L-A-T-E-N-N-E-T-Y-A-X-R-A-C-K-E-A-R-A-I-N-N-R-A-T-E-T-Y-A-N-A-R-N-E-A-T-R-A-P-E-N-G-U-I-T-A-M-B-E-N-T-A-N-T-A-N-O-I-T-A-R.
Thai consulate
Yeah, Thailand
You have a new king?
For some time now
Yeah, is he a bigger asshole than the other one was?
The old one?
I'm sorry?
Is he a bigger asshole than the previous king was?
His dad?
Can you tell me what this call is about?
The king of Thailand is an asshole, basically
And what are you going to do about it?
You going to lock me up and cane me or something?
You can't do anything about it
This is America
We live in a free society
We can say whatever we want
Okay
The King of Thailand molests children and he goes to Disney World in Florida and he sucks the penises of the little boys in the corner.
He goes in the closet in the rides.
He takes them in the closet and he kisses the boys and he sucks their penis.
Okay.
Anything else you have to say?
Yeah.
And why don't you guys back us up with China?
Why aren't you, why are you letting them get away with shit?
You're letting them encourage into the South China Sea.
Like we could really use your guys' help, you know?
The Spratly Islands
The Spratly Islands
Tick Tick
Tick Tick
I'm a big fan of your food though
I like green curry
It's really good
When you put the coconut sauce in it
Pad Thai
Your king
He has someone ejaculate in it before he eats it
That's all I got for you buddy
I don't like your king he's an asshole
And I know you call him
What do you call him my father our father
Is that what you call him
Hello, Mr. M.
Yeah, is there anything else you need to say?
Uh-huh.
Where can I go to get the best, like, sex show?
Is that Pattaya?
Pattaya Beach?
Do you want to leave your name?
No.
Well, I can answer now.
When we're booking Pattaya Beach.
Is there...
Do you have...
Does Pattaya Beach have...
Do you have anything...
Does Pattaya Beach have the nice sex show?
God, you motherfucker, you.
You know that?
Hey, what's the country code over there in Thailand?
I'm going to call some people in Thailand.
What's the country code out there?
You can find it on the internet.
No, it doesn't work.
It doesn't work, the internet.
Okay, is there anything else?
No, go away.
Hang up.
I command you to hang up the phone.
You're pissing me off.
Get the fuck out of here, motherfucker.
Lady boy.
Fuck him.
Get upset or something.
The Chinese embassy I called, the guy was like, fuck are you, to me.
That was a great call.
You're being a lady boy.
Why didn't the king die?
I was trying to get you.
That was a while ago.
I think the king's dead, dude.
That was a while ago, yeah.
Yeah, I think he died, yeah.
Yeah, but dude, they'll lock you up for saying anything bad about the king.
Hey guys, I'm pretty sure I can never go to Thailand because the minute I get off there's probably going to be some Thai agents who are going to be like, come here mister.
Dude, if they figure out it's you, they're going to kill your fucking ass, dude.
I have a friend who had a picture sitting in the throne.
He wasn't in the king, wasn't there, man.
He snuck into the picture, sat in the fucking throne.
They had to fucking kill for that shit.
Wow, dude, how did he get into the king's throne?
Court-opera
be sure to
go over to
discord.gg
forward slash
pranks
milkman's gonna
be joining
hopefully soon
discord.gg
forward slash
pranks
I'm expecting
that we're
gonna have
amateur prank
night
usually happens
after the show
hosted by
palindrome
over there
at the
pranks
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Alright, alright. Links for that all on madhouselive.com
Here's a number for a takeaway in the UK. Takeaway UK.
Used to be called Mognese, but order touched some kids, and the guy who just answered said simply delicious.
Whoa, okay.
Some kids. Oh my goodness.
So I think they have...
He finds the good numbers.
He thinks they have rebranded it because of the kid toucher owner, but come on, simply delicious.
Tickle Tickle
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
I had the wrong number
let me get this table now
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You know, sucks, sucks them all up.
I'll try her again.
I don't think she's going to pick up.
Maybe she'll be angry now.
I don't think so.
What happened there?
She's just saying that her friend put the ad and it wasn't a real, it is whatever, that
she's full.
You're calling me back.
You're calling me again.
You're calling me again.
Oh, oops, oops, oops, oops, oops, oops.
Wrong number.
Whoops.
Okay.
I can do this.
Thank you, Milkman.
Thanks for the heads up.
Well, I saw a ring and then I was like, no, that's the same number.
That's you.
Uh, okay.
I got I can do this I can do this I've been doing this for long enough that I
could figure it out no man I want to get into it though I saw the first
episode it was cool I really don't think you want to bring your horse yeah I do I
want anything masturbated hello okay whatever no never seen you've got a cat
Call Nation Madhouse Live
The first thing I heard when they picked up the phone was the first girl saying,
He's called several times.
Hello, is that Tony?
Yeah, who's this?
Hey, how you doing? This is Cross.
I see you need an experienced sailor to deliver a boat machine.
My buddy's supposed to be taking off on a boat tomorrow.
Okay, so do you need the...
And we've never sailed or anything before.
Oh, cool. Cool. Well, I can help out.
Where are you located at?
I'm Captain Cross. I'm in Stanford.
You are in Stanford.
Yeah.
Well, can I give you my buddy's number and you give him a call?
Because I think he was planning on taking off in the morning by himself.
Oh, shit.
Let me see.
Hey, Ethan, are you there?
Ethan's my skipper.
Ethan, can you copy this number down?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, one second.
All right.
Let me know.
Let me get my goddamn pen.
All right, go ahead.
All right.
All right there, big guy.
Go ahead.
Tony, come on, man.
You're breaking my balls here.
You're breaking my balls.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
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I typed those in like to like a separate tab on fucking Google Chrome, so sorry if it won't get up.
That's alright.
Did he give a name for this?
No, he didn't.
Shit.
Just his buddy.
Alright, well, we'll see if Tony called.
We better do this fast before he calls and says,
This is faggot Tony.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, the person you are trying to reach has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet.
Call right back.
Call right back.
Call right back.
I know.
You're right.
We can take advantage of that.
I'm sorry, the person you are trying to reach has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet.
Thats fine, I got a s...? We got a second number there, brother. Self-censure
Is the second one different area code? Is that accurate?
yeah, yeah
Yeah, i saw that yelassju from outa town. Thats funny, because my area code
Rashard's Phone
first call
yeah
yeah hey Tony told us to give you a call hey hey yeah he just called me yeah he said you needed
a skipper for a boat yeah big time yeah he was he um does he have problems he drink or something
he was saying some real nasty stuff to us uh no he's just a little bit off well I'll say he was
asking us like if we were circumcised what yeah he asked us if we're circumcised he yeah he's a
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Oh, okay, you guys are just like a crank call.
Yeah, you guys are calling from Laughlin, Nevada.
Yeah, so what about it?
You live in Vegas yourself, looks like.
No.
Why do you have a Vegas number?
That's not a Vegas number, dude.
Take it easy.
Take it easy.
Don't make me come down there, all right?
I'll bite you.
Yeah, Tony says he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore either.
He's not friends with you anymore?
Okay.
What?
Tony says he doesn't want to be friends with this fucking guy anymore either.
Okay.
With me?
I'm not gay, dude.
Well, I mean, you don't.
Call about
Tony clearly is
Yeah, Tony clearly wants to make you gay
Is he trying to recruit you or something?
No, he's not gay, dude
How about I call Tony and find out?
I'll put him on the line and we can figure it out
Alright
Alright
Hey, thanks for wasting my time
Whatever, cocksucker
Oh, pick my own baby
Fucking guy
Call Tony back
Okay, fuck it
Yep, call him
I wasn't even laughing before I was sneezing
I have a cold, dude
About the masturbation
I confused your voices, I'm sorry
I've had this call the past two days.
It sucks I should have masked the ID, but like, yeah, we got your friend Tony here.
Yeah.
Thanks for calling.
You got the right number, but the wrong time.
I am off saving the world.
But if you would leave your name, number, and a short message.
Shut up, Tony.
I am able.
Shut the fuck up.
All right, another call.
Need a ride to Boston from New York City.
Nice.
It's a chick, too.
Have fun with that one.
Camilla.
The next one on that list could possibly be an Old God Bill sound clip.
Oh, yeah.
The guy's name is Bill.
Nice.
Okay.
Yeah, Blackmail, I have a video of you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got a video of you from the 80s.
I remember you did that one with the fucking golf course you called it.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You guys are like, okay.
Sorry, but the person you called has a voicemail box.
Another one set up like that.
Sorry, but the person you called has a voice
Have you ever found out the name of
Famous Rich on the
Seattle Airlines
Flight there was at Pacific Air
What? Famous Rich?
The guy, Rich, Rich
The guy that flew the airplane last week
Oh
Took off in the fucking like
Turbo prop for like an hour and a half
Dude, that guy's my hero
That audio was awesome, he went out like a true pranker
Man, I'll tell you what
That motherfucker was cool as fuck, man.
I don't think I'm going to land.
He did be fucking ditched, motherfucker.
He almost ran out of fuel.
He was almost out of fuel anyway.
He barely had any left.
He did the one last barrel and then ditched it.
Yeah, what was his name?
I haven't found out his last name.
All I know is his name was Rich.
And he was like the guy you see out there like wearing a second earmuffs, you know,
whenever the pilot's out front, you know.
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project
P.M.S. 934
We'll do some voicemails.
I can't play them all.
You reached Bill.
Please leave a DM.
Oh, God, Bill, not answering.
All right, Ethan, thanks again.
I'm going to clear the line.
I'm going to get some voicemail.
No problem, man.
Winding down.
Thanks for calling in, brother.
Oh, hey.
What's up, Ethan?
What's up?
Joey Guns.
Joey Guns.
Okay, all right.
Yes, Joey Guns.
Let's see if he picks up.
I don't know if he's normally there on the Thursday.
We'll find out.
Oh, okay.
So if we do Joey Guns, you've got to be the one to do the call, though.
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Carlito Laugh Track
Matt Baz Milkman
Matt Baz Milkman
Matt Baz Milkman
Matt Baz Milkman
Madhouse Live
Be easy man
I'll talk to you next week
See you then
Alright let's get
Milkman back on cause he hit his 15 minute
limit and then we'll get us some
voicemails
that's just saying Puerto Rico voicemail
now's a good time if you haven't
head over to madhouselive.com and click
all the links click everything you can click
click it all motherfucker
no YouTube donations today I had it all
set up to give props and no one
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Bob Vance Good People
Maybe I'm calling the wrong number.
This guy again.
I want to hear it.
I want to hear it.
Alright, I'll play him.
Alright, alright.
He's funny.
If he wasn't funny, I'd be like cutting.
Maybe I'm calling the wrong number.
Is this the right number to call?
Spit out the number again.
What number?
Dude, what number are you calling?
That is true.
I don't know what he's calling
He did make a valid point
We don't read the number enough
That is true
Whatever reason he's not getting through
I think it's this time
But maybe it could be his gimmick
So this may be his gimmick
Alright
Here's another one
Appreciate it
Is this shit supposed to say front reception?
Is it the Carlito show?
People are confused about the front reception
I gotta come up with something else
Here's another one
No, leave it, leave it
It's beautiful, dude
It's my first time, man
People don't know what to say. It's a complete Ali's Chapel. It's one of yours, but leave it
There is again, all right
Oh shit, Dwight's brother Dwight's brother Dwight's brother
Idea for a prank call. Oh, here we go
Call a Papa John and ask the guy to wipe his dick on the pizza and if it's a girl ask her to wipe her pussy on the pizza okay okay bye okay Mr. Feminine Guy
okay fuck it
nice suggestion I don't figure they've ever thought of that we'll have to do that on our next call
that would probably be the only way that guy gets to eat pussy I'm sorry that's not nice to say
Levy
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
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Great Big Fat XYZ Yeah Motherfucker Yeah That's What I'm Saying
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Dealer
please enter the 5 digit zip code of your home
I need my dealer
so what is Bath Planet
so what is Milkman
did you see the site
I can pull it up I guess
thank you for calling
I like that
Bath Planet
your call is very important to us
please remain on the line
and your call will be answered momentarily
oh ok
Mrs. Brianna please note this call may be recorded for
woo
bhehh
oh
hello
hello
oh I'm sorry
I didn't know anyone was there
I thought I had a long hold
no problem
tell me I help you
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
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so security number
try to security number right above all right security number
that's a fast shot man there all right we'll have fast hot even
i think the number there is included with this code uh
okay security private security yeah what kind of security
and mall security uh actually you know why i don't know
uh well you have to read the punchline down
underneath there it's it's it's it's it's security like a house like your home
Home Security
Fire and Security
yeah yeah
but we can confuse it just like we did now
we can go with it
it's a good idea
protecting since 1946
so do they send a person to the home?
thank you for calling Horson Fire and Security
to help us direct your call to the nearest branch please enter your 5-
how the hell did
how did he know that's the zip code I used right
you're in
hello
thank you for calling Horson Fire and Security
computer
I need to speak to an agent please
Tries to
get the
alarm off
and I can't turn it off.
There's a breach in Zone 2.
Oh come on motherfucker.
Come on motherfucker you because this shit doesn't stop.
Ah shit.
Everyone is gone.
Everyone is gone.
Alright I'm gonna have to go.
It's time to go anyway.
Let me turn that fire alarm.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
You gotta be careful
No no no
We're over in Oregon
We got nothing over
Oh shit
I had no idea
Nothing
Nothing much
It wasn't much of a call Milkman
I got Milkman back
Okay
Do you know anything about golf Milkman?
Caller has questions about golf
Golf?
Any golf tips?
Make me better
Make me Tiger Woods
But like
Chi Chi Rodriguez
Is like my favorite
Yeah watch some Chi Chi Rodriguez
Fucking videos on YouTube
There you go
Yeah do that
Got it
You know how Chi Chi Rodriguez is?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Madhouse Live
And beat beat beat the horse with your club out of anger if you have a bad shot
Yeah, you fucking horse you to be like, oh my god, I killed my wife's horse
There you go. They're saying it's there's my tips
Have fun with you have a nice cigar and at the end have a nice cigar have a nice whiskey and get yourself a nice
Turkey sandwich at the end. All right, you're gonna have a good
Fuck yeah
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I know you guys. You're out there, man. Thank you so much for all the good work you do, man.
I'm going to have to get this thing squared away with the Armada.
Right on. And that's right. What we do every week, man, we have the most interactive show you can get, right?
You're on the internet, earbuds, right? You're in your earphones every week.
We do this free right here, man. We ask you to give us your time, right?
We Drop the Dime
And ask you to bring your friends
Or better yet, bring your enemies
They're going to be welcome out here in the Madhouse
Beside the militia and all the crazy horsey cat members
And all of our fun friends right here, buddy
It's time to do it without our fearless leader
The Air Monito
The General Lee Simone himself
Thank you for putting me on here
And keeping us together all these years
My Air Monito
Alright, thank you
Thank you, Big Milkman
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
MadHouseLive.com
patreon.com
slash madhouse
where you can sign up
to become a patron
to become a militia
or a horse member
get access to rewards
such as the instant show reel
unedited shows
as soon as we go off air
and of course
our discord chat there
you can have your chat messages
broadcast on the youtube feed
if you use that
be sure to check out
discord.gg
forward slash pranks
for amateur prank hour
with palindrome
I believe that's happening
I hope it is
if not make it happen guys
Get in there and do some pranks.
Discord.gg slash pranks.
And hey guys, you guys can leave messages during the week.
If you want, call in 405-396-6884.
That's 405-39-MOUTH.
Leave a voicemail.
I'll play it at the beginning of the next show.
All right, I got to get out of here.
Folks, y'all have a good week.
Be good to each other.
Be safe out there.
No drinking and driving.
And if you're going to have a prostitute, use a condom.
Don't be Milkman.
Don't get Hepatitis C.
See you guys!
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