MadhouseLive

No TV For You – 9/6/18 Show

6 Sep 2018 · 2 h 20 min · 8,962 words · source

Calls (24, 56 min of 2 h 20 min)

  1. Korean restaurant bathroom camera check live 1.3 min clip ↓
  2. Dave & Buster's event facility questions live 5.6 min clip ↓
  3. Madhouse Live announces Chicago meetup live 33 s clip ↓
  4. Madhouse Live confirms Chicago meetup live 33 s clip ↓
  5. Zax calls Madhouse Live live 1.1 min clip ↓
  6. Madhouse Live confirms meetup live 1.3 min clip ↓
  7. Nike store asking about return policy live 48 s clip ↓
  8. Nike store transfer to supervisor ivr 48 s clip ↓
  9. Caller leaving voicemail for Legend voicemail 33 s clip ↓
  10. Ian calling back after voicemail live 3.3 min clip ↓
  11. Caller recounts vacation drive live 33 s clip ↓
  12. NCAA Tournament discussion live 33 s clip ↓
  13. Tyrone calls in with fake name ivr 4.1 min clip ↓
  14. Call Nation Madhouse Live IVR playback 4.8 min clip ↓
  15. Callers hung up on manager live 33 s clip ↓
  16. Trump advance team at restaurant live 3.8 min clip ↓
  17. Jockey's Steakhouse order prank live 1.3 min clip ↓
  18. TV access denied due to race live 1.6 min clip ↓
  19. Milkman Thomas Trank prank call live 48 s clip ↓
  20. Prank call about helium and death threats live 2.1 min clip ↓
  21. Restaurant in Montana asked about Trump visit live 10.6 min clip ↓
  22. TMT Mechanical Judy asked for help live 1.3 min clip ↓
  23. SmithSafe driver kiss report live 1.6 min clip ↓
  24. Call Nation Madhouse Live call with Pete live 7.1 min clip ↓

Transcript

It's not a free service, and I'm the one asking the questions here, do you understand?
Excuse me?
You know what? You motherfuckers, which is you crackers, you know, because that's what you are.
Sir, don't need to be racist.
You know, no need to be racist.
I bet you any time of the motherfucking day, if me and you screwed up, I would beat your ass.
I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live.
I hope my speech can compete with that bad mouth style that we get from Carlito.
That's my big amigo, so just kick back to listen to this cat call.
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Thank you for calling 356, have a good night here
Hello
Hello, this is 356, have a good night here
Yeah, is this a Korean restaurant?
Yeah, Korean barbecue restaurant.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
Yeah, I like to go ahead and eat my meal when I'm there.
But do you guys have the setup in the bathroom at all?
Bathroom?
Yeah, I heard that in South Korea there's a problem with cameras in the bathroom.
No, I don't think so.
This is South Korean restaurant, right?
Barbecue restaurant.
Yeah, okay. Are you Korean?
Yeah.
Do you know the men that put the toilet, they put the cameras in the toilet in Korea?
No, I have no idea about it.
Don't worry about that.
Don't you keep up with the homeland? Don't you keep up with the news there?
I'm coming.
Oh, yeah, I'm coming.
Yeah, yeah, we don't have any cameras, so you don't worry about it.
No, no camera in the toilet, okay? No.
No camera in the toilet, okay?
Okay, thank you, bye.
Okay, hey, can I make an order?
If you care, stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Goddammit woman
What's up everybody, Madhouse Radio
Thank you all for joining me
Indeed
I ain't going anywhere
Well thank you for joining
Sorry for the delay with starting the show
And sorry for the weak ass attempt at a prank call there to the Koreans
They don't respect me, those Koreans, you know
They got no respect
I'll call a different Korean place
Give me a second
Let's try to get at least a funny ha ha
Or let me, I could look up Parkman numbers
We got tons of stuff we can do tonight
Madhouse Live
Get fucked, don't come to Chicago
Thank you for calling Dave & Buster's now
At Dave & Buster's we can help you in creating a perfect event
Take some one
Wait while I transfer your call
Yeah, the one did it guys, the one, like my dick, straight up and down
It only takes one
Dave & Buster's special event, this is Diana, how may I help you?
Hi honey baby, how are you doing? Big Diana, it's good to talk to you again
How may I help you?
Oh yeah, we're looking to stage an event there, we're super excited
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to refer you over to our front desk. Hang on one second. Hurry up. Diana transferred me to the front desk because she's a stupid woman. I'm just taking notes.
No, no, we're gonna get banned from the YouTube. Oh, no, you don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't go for it when they try to get me to play that. I'm not supposed to play. Matt Hillock used to play this all the time. Hello. Hello. Yeah, I love that whole music. How are you doing?
This is the front desk?
Yes.
What was your name?
Monica.
Monica at the front desk answered the call.
Okay, I'm calling regarding some questions we have.
We want to host an event there for a gathering, but we have some questions about the facilities.
Is that okay?
That's fine.
Oh, okay.
Are you familiar with the men's room here?
I've never been inside it.
Okay.
Is there a man around maybe?
Or can I ask you about the women's room then?
Yeah.
All right.
How many commodes are in the women's room?
There is ten.
Ten toilet machines.
Okay.
Alright.
And are these tankless toilet machines or do they have the tanks on them?
They're like the pool ones.
They're like pool ones, whatever that fucking means.
Okay.
Alright.
Are there dividers in between the toilet stalls?
Yes, there's dividers.
Yes, dividers.
Okay.
Alright.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Okay, sounds good, sounds good.
All right, and are the women's room next to the men's room?
Yes.
Good, all right.
So we're going to put a hole in that wall in between the men's room and the women's room,
and we're going to drill holes in between the stalls and the dividers, okay?
Why is that?
And we'll patch all this up when we're done.
We're toilet enthusiasts, so we're just booking a party, but your toilets here,
www.toiletgrope.com
Madhouse Live
Good, good.
All right.
Before I get my links out, I want to get this out.
If you hear the music playing, we got a Chicago meetup.
We're going to be meeting in Chicago sometime in the near future.
In the next 10 weeks, we have a meetup.
It's going to be on October 20th.
No, I'm kidding.
It's not.
All right, listen.
The truth is next weekend, Saturday the 15th, there is going to be...
I had to bring my mic up.
It was low.
We're going to have a meetup.
I'm super excited about that.
It's going to be in Chicago.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Zax
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
www.madhouselive.com
Casting Your Shows 24-7 on YouTube.
That's me right here.
And I also released a new prank on YouTube for the first time in quite a while.
It was our first hold-fail call that me and Dwight pulled off back in November of 2012.
Our Thanksgiving show late in November 2012.
It was the first time I did that.
Go ahead and listen to that.
I didn't really promote that much, but I did post it out there.
And I want to start putting some more pranks out there to let you know where I'm at.
All right.
Let you know that I'm here.
I'm not going anywhere.
As they say.
Some of these kids say here.
All right.
Look.
Let's call some more Korean restaurants.
I want to call that shit.
Maybe we should be calling like Nike stores and shit.
Right.
All right.
That's a Nike camp.
Man, it's going to work.
Is this a store?
Yes, it is.
You know, I've never been.
I'm not a big fan of Nikes, guys.
I actually do have a pair of Nikes now that I wear when I work out.
Those are the probably ones I'm going to take to Chicago.
Chicago.
Caller, you're on the air.
Hello.
Oh, no.
What are you doing, man?
I'm here.
I'm sitting.
I'm getting ready to do a prank call.
What do you want, man?
It's like the universe is coming to a point.
It's right near me.
Yeah?
Weird.
The universe is coming to a point?
What's up?
Are you seeing, like, the light?
Are you dying?
No, no, dude.
I live four blocks, four F-O-U-R blocks from Milwaukee Avenue.
Oh, from the Chicago thing.
Yeah.
Oh, for real?
Nice.
Cool.
So you're going to come out, or are you going to be too busy?
Madhouse Live
I was right, I knew it was you, you motherfucker.
What's up, Milkman?
Yeah.
Milkman's on the line.
Did you really not know?
I've been telling these guys all this fall fucking weekend, since the weekend.
Yeah, man.
Legendary.
You might hear a plane because it's a plane.
Nike running Fashion Valley.
Yeah, hey, can you turn that plane down, please?
Yeah, there's a plane going overhead the store.
Can you turn it down?
Sure.
There it goes.
I hear it.
It's going down now.
All right, good.
Hey, what's your return policy?
Because I just saw something that really upset me on the TV.
There was a black with poofy hair, and he was kneeling.
I wonder if people went fucking with him.
Do you know what a Colin Kaepernick is?
Kaepernick, Kaepernick.
Do you know what that is?
Legend.
Kaepernick?
Yeah.
Do you know what a Colin Kaepernick is?
Kaepernick.
Yeah, well, I don't know.
It's political.
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
Yeah.
Speaking of football, we canceled our NFL Fantasy League.
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
and uh... if their customers needed to talk to a supervisor they would actually transfer them to me
okay
and I would pick up Roy the supervisor
and you're all American sounding
that's awesome
yeah
yeah
yeah
that's legit
I'm like you really
really are a fucking
oh man
I really love a supervisor
oh
usually
like I usually do
I go way over the line anyway
and
nice
and if
if the people were calling
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Alex
Please record your message
Oh, I hung up on Legend
You may hang up or press 1 for more options
I hung up on Legend
I'm sorry, Legend
Call back, Legend
Oh shit, man
That was unintentional
Totally unintentional
Alright, this person has a 94 Jeep Wrangler
Stroker for sale
Stroker
Wrangler, I hardly know her
Here we go
I gotta get focused
I gotta chill is what it is
I'm wound up
I'm upset
Can you see just
This music isn't helping
Shut up Isaac Hayes
You stupid Scientologist you
Hello
This is the caller
0369
Hello
Caller
Hello caller
Yeah hello
Yeah hi who's this
Yeah it's Ian
I've been on the phone a couple weeks now
Hey what's up Ian
You've been missing
Are you okay?
Everything alright?
Yeah I just started school
Oh nice
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Prank Call
Hello. Hello, sir. You got a Jeep Wrangler. Hey, stupid. Right. I appreciate that.
Hello. Yeah. Hi. Do you have a Jeep Wrangler for sale? I do. Yeah. I called earlier and you said
hello. You didn't say anything back. Could you hear me? Oh, no, I couldn't hear you. I couldn't
hear you. Wow. I don't know if something's wrong with me, like a problem with me, my phone or
something. Oh, no. Maybe the phone. Maybe the phone. Maybe there's not good signal. I'm white.
Madhouse Live
Bunch of assholes live there
I went to go visit a vacation and then I drove home
Oh nice, you just brought it home, right?
Back in 1994, wow man
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
The NCAA Tournament Basketball
Oh yeah?
Like a few years ago it was
Off and on
Off and on
UCF claims to be the national champions in football this year
Because they beat the national champions
Or whatever
It was a stupid waste of fucking money
Putting up fucking banners and shit all over the place for nothing
They bought championship rings for all the players
Oh god
Yeah it's like come on man
Like a participation trophy
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Maybe that'll be the show
Alright caller Ian
Thank you for calling in
Please do check in next week
I'm sorry you can't make it to Chicago
We're going to San Francisco next year
Maybe you can come out to that
Maybe
See ya man
Alright cool
His line's open 405-396-6884
405-396-6888
Wait for it
Cart Ford
That's the mouth line, and you can call it, like this motherfucker right here.
Let's let him fuck away.
Thanks for calling, huh?
Hey, dude.
Oh, hey, dude.
What's up?
What's up, man?
Not much.
Please identify yourself.
Well, this is Tyrone.
Tyrone.
That's not your name, but that's cool.
That's cool.
How you doing, buddy?
It's good to talk to you.
God bless you, sir.
Good, man.
Yeah, I was trying to listen to live.
I was trying to use the number, but it's, like, down, dude.
What is?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Don't die, guy. Don't die, guy.
$1.45 a week. Could you afford that?
Yeah, dude. I make good money.
Nice. You drive big cars. Everybody knows you.
It's like your movie star.
Laying at night, something ain't right.
You're being tailed by the same sucker's headlight.
Yeah, dude.
You're probably too young for that song. Look it up, man.
My mind's playing tricks on me by the Ghetto Boys.
That's G-E-T-O Boys.
You have reached the voicemail box of two...
Sorry, buddy. I had you on mute.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Call the one answer
The next one is a housekeeper job
8 years experience
Or I've got a cleaning and odds job
Cleaning and odd jobs
You have reached the voicemail box
Nobody's picking up
Yeah this happened last time
It's happening again
Alright this is for a cleaning job
You have reached the voicemail box of 2-0-3
It's a bad night
I'm just going to call stores, alright?
Fuck it
Yeah, let's page people
You want to page people? I don't know about that
Let's call Planet Fitness and make them switch the alarm on and shit
You want a local alarm call? Sure, you got it
Alright, let's see
They're on to the whole thing
I've had a few lately that have been like
Nah, we heard about you guys
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
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Call Nation Madhouse
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
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Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I feel like I'm the one that's doing dope
Can't keep a steady hand because I'm nervous
Anyone wants to call in?
405-396-6884
I think I'm being hung up on
Hello? Yes, hello?
Hi, this is the manager
So, sorry, yeah, we're not gonna go
and ask anybody
if they want any free services
It's not a free service, and I'm the one asking the questions here
Do you understand? Excuse me?
I said I'm the one that's asking the questions here
Do you understand? So, yeah, thank you for calling
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Callers
Sorry that we lost legend
If you want to call in you may
405-396-6884
Just like this homie's doing right here
Hello caller
Thank you for calling
Get the fuck out of town
We got in
Hey did you guys hear
We're going to be in Chicago
Did you hear
Did you feel my frustration bubbling
I was like
I'm trying to fucking do shit and you're just, I keep hearing front things and you're asking me about knives and I'm doing all this shit and nobody's picking up and I keep calling it and I keep calling it.
You must have heard front desk like a hundred times at least.
Front reception?
Front reception, front reception, yeah.
Yeah, that really pisses people off.
I hate it.
It's all the knives.
I need a new receptionist.
No, I listened to it how many times?
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Maddy Studios
Yeah, we can do something.
No, we don't have to.
It probably smells a little bad there.
No, but I'm saying...
It smells like spoiled milk there.
So I'll be able to do the overnight shit.
Cool.
We're going to have so much fun.
Yeah, I can't wait.
So when's Brad getting in?
When's his...
Brad says he won't be here until like 10 or 11.
On Saturday?
Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Don't put fat guy because then we still don't know.
Donate.
Buy old man Hillock some beer.
There you go.
And madhouselive.com forward slash donate where you can use a Visa card or a Visa Master
card.
Master Visa.
Like we like to say here sometimes because those ordering places really low when we fuck
around like that with that Master Visa bullshit.
I still got to get the Parkman numbers.
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Phil Trebek
A
Did you were born in 1980 to be alone?
and then the bed egg you really is man. That's a Simpsons reference. I can't wait for that so
I can't say about that because we don't want to give 100% where the venue is because we're afraid of
Prank Call Nation
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I don't know, I'm just saying, that's the one, that's fucking jihad shit, is the one that I clicked, like, I'm going.
I think when you share it like that, it's all tallied up, I think, I think.
But anyway, just try to RSVP it.
It'd be lovely to see all the people there.
Yeah, anyone that can. Anyone that can make it would be great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm so jealous, man, I'm so fucking jealous.
And children, feel free to reach in your mom's purse, take out her credit card, and book yourself a flight.
Yes, go for it.
You'll be okay.
First Class
San Francisco
That's what I'm hoping for
I hear there's a lot of people
like this out there
If you see me, I'm doing my hand
back and forth
like meeting gay
No, that's okay
So you might want to watch out for the AIDS
if you go to San Francisco
Yeah, hi, you've got
the taxidermist company here?
Taxidermy shop?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
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Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
That's why I was asking about San Francisco, because, you know, it's closed by me and Strangelove, and we want to go see you, too.
Yeah, because I want to see Milkman and...
All right, this is not working.
Your party's four-digit extension.
The instructions say to hit six.
But it's super short notice.
I would have gone to Chicago if I had a more long time, you know.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
This is not connecting.
God damn it.
Yeah, I tried.
Black Dog
MPAA
Jack Valente
Hey Kulo
I tried sending the thingy through the donate
and it said my name was too long
It said your name was too long
Really?
Yeah it said max number of characters
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call these restaurants to say Trump needs.
Okay, one table with six chairs away from...
Okay, no spoilers, no spoilers here.
Let me get to that.
I'm sorry, guys.
Call back, please.
That was an accident machine.
Thanks for calling my table.
This is Corey.
How can I help you?
Yeah, hi.
I'm calling with the advance team for Donald Trump.
He's going to be visiting this restaurant if you're able to accommodate.
Yeah, what can I do for you?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I will grab something for you.
All right, one table with six chairs away from windows.
Okay.
Two forks, one spoon, one knife.
And we'll need to witness sanitation of those before they come out.
Okay.
All right, one cloth napkin from the middle of the stack.
Two servers, preferably including one minority.
This is a big preferably.
Okay.
All right, no photography by employees or guests.
Okay.
Agent will witness food prep and cooking.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
No. That might be a deal breaker. Do you have any black grease you can put on someone's face?
I don't have that.
Do you have at least one with big bosoms? Do you at least have one with big bosoms and big sexual organs?
Yeah, I think we could do that.
Okay, alright. Will you be there?
Yes.
Okay, and how big are your sexual organs?
Huh?
How big are your sexual organs?
How big are mine? I don't know if that's a prank call.
No.
Okay, so I think I'm going to hang up now.
No, POTUS is very intimidated.
Okay.
Wait a minute.
Is that a prank call?
Now?
At that point?
Is this a prank call?
Please, come on.
I'm saying...
That's like asking a prostitute.
If you're a cop, you got to tell me, you know?
I'm asking him to have them put grease on their...
State grease on the face to make them in blackface, basically.
Come on, man.
What was it?
I like this.
Madhouse Live
Jockey Short
Hello
Is this Jockey's Steakhouse
Is this Jockey's Steakhouse
This is Jake Steaks
Jake Steaks
This is Cross they're calling to make an order
Okay honey
Hello
This is Jockey's Steakhouse
What is this then
Did you not understand maybe that was a mistake there
I'm sorry
I'm ignorant I'm lazy I just wanted to hang up the phone
I wanted to make an order please
All right, what would you like?
One table with six chairs away from the windows.
She sounds like she's not good at her job, sir.
No, she doesn't.
She's not good at her job at all.
Two forks, one spoon, and one knife.
All right, she's gone.
She's out of here.
Jockers.
Jockers.
But yeah, like the only time I ever hear Jocky Jock.
Yeah, when you're wearing them.
Hello?
Matt?
Matt!
I didn't hang up on you.
Where are you?
Where are you guys?
I didn't hang up.
I didn't hang up I didn't hang up they're still connected I don't understand guys talk if you could talk talk if not drop okay hopefully I get the call back well that was Jake's Steakhouse now we're gonna call wild ginger
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Oh, and what would you people meaning? What? What do you think I asked? What did I ask before I said that you asked me? Was I black? But what does that have to do with anything? I'm sorry. That means that we don't have TV for you. You don't have the TV for me because I'm black. Well, you know, you have certain oils on your skin. And if you come here to get the TV, you're touching things and the oils stay on the surfaces here. Oh, really? Really, really, really. So why won't we why don't we try to work that out? Where is their address? And we'll see.
What?
How about that?
Where's what?
What is the address and why don't we just give it a try?
Let's give it a try.
I don't want violent people to come to my house.
You don't want violent people to come to your house?
Yeah, you sound agitated.
Very agitated.
I sound agitated?
Yeah.
Oh, really?
And you people have a history, so why, you know.
Do you people have a history?
Do you want to meet at a public location?
Wow.
Have a history.
Wow.
You know something?
Well, numbers don't lie.
Like you guys say, ball don't lie.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Suck helium to get high
Suck helium to get high
Okay
No
Okay
I drink whiskey
You're stupid
You're stupid as fuck
And you're uneducated
And you die
You're gonna die a horrible death
Look I love black culture
I love
I love the NFL
You're gonna die a horrible death
You're gonna die a horrible death
You're illiterate as fuck
You stupid prick
You're stupid as fuck
Okay
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
What do you live in?
What do I live in?
In a townhouse.
What do you live in?
In a townhouse.
Right now, in a townhouse.
Or do you mean my other house?
Do you mean my other house in North Carolina on the beach?
Or do you mean my other home?
My home at Horse Machine Ranch.
Really?
In Kentucky.
Which one?
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
Really.
Yeah, really.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It sounds like a crock of shit.
No, it doesn't.
You want to come over and I'll show you.
You sound like a bitch nigga.
You understand?
I'm not an N-word.
That's what you are.
I've never used that.
you're the one using racist words
you know better yet you're a skinhead
I'm not
my grandpappy fought in World War II
against Nazis and I'm not a Nazi
oh you said you fought in what?
my grandpappy
fought in World War II against Nazis
and I'm not a Nazi
and he died a horrible death
no he just died a week ago
at the age of 98
yeah he didn't get the sickle cell
and die
he didn't get the sickle cell and die
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm right here, I'm right here, I'm right here, I'm standing right here, come on homie
You're a stupid prick, and you're never gonna be shit, and if you have kids, they're never gonna be shit, you understand?
You're never gonna be shit
Your kids are not gonna get shit
Because their father was a fucking cokehead
That's what you are
No, I smoked marijuana once in the 1970s, and I didn't like it.
You're ignorant and you're belligerent.
And you're stupid.
I've been quite educated this whole call.
You're ignorant and you're not educated.
What's the proof?
You're not.
Give me your proof.
You're not.
Listen, boy.
Give me your proof, boy.
You're not educated.
You're very uneducated.
Okay.
I'm successful, but I'm successful.
You're successful.
What is your occupation?
What do you do?
What do you do?
Bitch, I work for the state.
Lazy State Worker Living Off The State Living Off The Tick Living Off The
State Tick You Ain't Shit You Ain't Shit I'm A Horse Breeder And I'm A Stock
Broker And I And I And I Teach I Teach Computer Programming From My Home
Also It's Hard To Believe That You Teach Anything Because You're A Fucking
Prick So It's Hard To Believe That You Teach Anything And You're Looking For
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Not for me.
Not for me.
I heard that you like shit like that.
You're probably a fucking cuckold.
You like shit like that.
No, I'm a bug chaser.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Really?
Sounds intriguing.
Yeah.
Sounds intriguing.
So why don't you be my fucking cuckold, bitch?
I'm a top.
How about that?
I'm a top.
That's the problem.
I'm a top.
Oh, you're a top?
Yeah.
You're a top, but you probably have a three-inch dick because you know most white men do.
Nope, not this one.
And you're probably not even circumcised.
You're probably not.
I am.
I am.
You know why?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I bet I know why you can't fuck because you have a little dick I fuck girls and guys oh you do yeah oh really I knew you was a cuckold and I'm the ignorant one and I'm the ignorant one and you fit you have that that's how you yeah right right yeah but you're shocked that I might be bisexual though right oh really yeah bisexual yeah is that too much for you yeah how ignorant are you that that's a big deal how ignorant are you
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I mean, you gotta be careful out there. I'm a fucking rock star. I get so much pussy and ass.
You really are a nasty motherfucker. You're on prep. You're a nasty motherfucker.
It's a dude. I'm responsible. I get laid so much, I'm responsible.
You get laid? You get laid? You're a nasty motherfucker.
Wow, I have natural urges. Yeah, I'm a nasty motherfucker. Okay.
Okay, alright, Michael Pence. Okay.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Well, I'm going to show you what the fuck.
Come star shit, Trayvon.
Come on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Star shit, Trayvon.
Come on.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
You're going to bring up Trayvon.
Yeah.
You're going to bring up Trayvon.
Unfortunately for you, that doesn't hurt my feelings.
Yeah, well, come star shit.
I'm going to try again.
I'll stand my ground.
I know my rights.
I know what that can do.
You know your rights.
You violent animal.
I'm going to put a fucking bullet between your eyes.
Exactly.
Exactly.
That's what I'm going to do.
That's how you people resolve all your problems.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Which Audi do you have?
I don't want to say shit anymore, no.
You're ignorant.
You're an asshole.
Which Audi do you have?
You're an ignorant asshole.
I'm an ignorant asshole?
Yeah, what kind of Lexus, what kind of Lexus Toyota do you have?
Oh, really?
Oh, really?
Oh, really?
Oh, really?
Let's do that.
Oh, really?
Let's do that.
What do you have?
Oh, really?
Which one do you have?
Which one do you have again?
Can you tell me?
What Lexus do you have, homie?
Is that how you say it?
I have the LS, bitch.
Homie?
The LS.
What do you have, homie?
I have the LS.
That's a piece of shit.
It's a Toyota.
It's a Camry engine.
It's a Camry engine.
You have the Audi, which is a Volkswagen.
All right.
Well, it seems to be better than yours.
You have the Audi, which is a Volkswagen.
I have an A8, dude.
I drive an A8.
What year is your A8?
2019, son.
Oh, really?
Yes.
Really?
You want to know the color?
You want to know the color?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's space gray.
What else do you want to know?
I got the active suspension.
Yeah, with the touch response keys and everything.
The Audi Precense 360.
Yeah.
Motherfucker, I even got the OLED taillights put on it.
Customized, motherfucker.
What are you gonna do?
It's paid off.
No, it's paid off.
It's paid off.
I bought it cash, straight cash.
Really?
Yes, I'm fucking successful.
And how much was it?
$83,000.
It was $83,000.
83,800 to be precise as a matter of fact really yeah really really really
yeah right I got the Texas license plate on it too hey asshole I'm done with you I'm so above
you I'm on another fucking level you know what I mean I'm like I'm fucking in the clouds you
know what I mean I'm in a fucking Gulfstream jet and you're down on coach and the fucking train
you know I'm saying you ain't shit motherfucker fuck you motherfucker you he's fucking crazy is
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
My name is Cross
That's not your real name
That's not the name that your dear sweet
That's my name
That's what it says on my driver's license
Cross
That's right
Skrilla
So that's your name
I had it legally changed
That's right
Oh really you had it legally changed
So what is your real name
That is my real name
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Carlito here's enough for some for a small good cup of cafe cabron well thank you cabron
hijo de pinche puta tu madre Walter Heimlich maneuvered $20 wow thanks man may this help
your trip big league all caps thank you I didn't mean to say the amount I'm sorry we'll take that
out uh he also donated a super chat and said buy Matt a beer in Chicago PS I've also notified
Richard Cardo
that RBCP
uh oh
will be at the event
so he can make
a citizen's arrest machine
Jesus Christ
we're fucked
emails donated also
thank you
been a fan
since 2012 man
love the show
wish I could be
meet up
wish he could be
meet up nice
but wood
but work and shit
I understand
big ups motherfucker
alright
yeah
thank you everyone
who has donated
donation
yeah
donation
I can go to Chicago
Chicago
Some bitches
No, I'm a married man, I don't do that
Yeah, playing some Chicago here in the background
I may have run out of incoming call credit
And that would be bad, that would be really bad
Supposed to be break time right now actually
You know what, I am going to take that break as a matter of fact
Be right back in a few minutes
Thank you everybody
I will be rising to this
You put your GPS in your box
And a trap door at the bottom
So when you die, you open that trap door at the bottom
You check the GPS
Madhouse Radio
I'm back. I ain't going anywhere.
I'm screaming tonight. I ain't going anywhere.
Motherfucker.
Back here, madhouselive.com is the website, the links and such.
Shoutcast, TuneIn, YouTube, Videoplayer, all that shit is over there, madhouselive.com.
I want to thank everyone who has donated to my cause to make it to Chicago next weekend.
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Liveー$&%! Break اند
As in Dwight the janitor.
Make sure you put Carlito in the note
with them so he knows who it goes to.
PayPal & Mr forests for ideas
PC and
we are continuous gas much appreciated
and one who can.
And help you guys have may I was on a great operator's hand right
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I make fun of I make fun of stereotypes it's a great I mean that's look out look at him look at what he went for the low hanging fruit right call me this and that that I'm sick that I build bombs and you know stereotypes of white people doesn't bother me jokes on him I'm Puerto Rican bitch it doesn't bother me you can say whatever you want that's why I love it when people like make like one of like my haters want to like troll against me and they play Mexican music you know or they
P.S.
If you lived in Britain and I wanted to make fun of you and I made Australian jokes, I
said you fucking dumb Kiwi, fucking dumb Australian, stupid fucking shrimp on a barbie,
fucking crocodile motherfucker you, kangaroo fucker, it really wouldn't have any impact
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Oh shit man
Oh shit
Okay acting weird huh
Alright let me test that phone one more time
Let's see what happens
If you want to make fun of me
Talk about plantains
What else
What else are Puerto Ricans
You know talk about
Raping white girls
That might be funny
I don't know
Don't make fun of me Mike Brace
I draw the line at making fun of race on this show.
I've never stooped to that fucking level.
All right, back to the show.
Let's play some music.
Play this funky music again.
All right, YouTube's back up and ready to go.
All right, restaurants in Montana where Donald Trump is going to be coming.
I get leery of saying this because this might be a crime.
This might be a crime machine.
The 405-396-6884.
We ask you to let us know that you're not a voicemail system.
So you need to press 1 to take this call.
Oh, wow. I'm not a robot.
Your caller just hung up. Press 2 to call an unknown caller.
Oh, I didn't even see that had an incoming call.
What the fuck was that?
Anyway, back to this.
Robert speaking. How may I help you?
Yes, hi. I'm calling with the advance team.
The president would like to come in to visit this establishment when he's done with his speech.
Okay.
Okay. What time are you closed?
We stopped serving at...
Is this a real?
Yes.
Is this real?
Yes, my name is Cross.
Okay, what?
We stopped serving at 9 o'clock.
Okay.
How many?
Well, we need one table with six chairs away from all windows.
Okay.
All right.
We also need two forks, one spoon, and one knife.
And we'll need to witness the sanitation of the silverware.
Okay.
Two forks.
One spoon.
One knife.
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call The Outta Towners
Ass Blaster
Great Documentary
Strap In
Oh My God
Bruce Willis was dead the whole fucking time
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Um, I mean, here we don't judge anyone. We treat everybody the same, so, like, I think, like...
I'm mostly wondering about the lesbians. Do you have a lot of lesbians that come in there?
To be honest, I cannot say for sure. Um, I don't know, just because we're near freeway, so everyone stops.
Different ethnicities, genders, all that, so it doesn't matter. There's a lot of people that come in.
Well, that's all well and good, but I'm mostly, I'm just concerned about the lesbians, and if you have any in there.
PENTA Empowered by a
To be honest, no, we don't.
We do have some here and there, but not like a large population coming in.
Okay, so there is not one in there that I can talk to or you don't have anyone on staff, do you?
I can have someone come up real quick.
I'm going to get one of my managers.
Is she a lesbian?
We don't have any female managers here.
Okay, I understand, I'll talk to her. I got you. I'll talk to her.
I'll be right back.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm sorry. Thanks, though, man. It's a lot of accounts, but I'm sure it probably made it through.
I really should have given you a confirmation. That's really I've really apologized to everyone.
I had like a little spinning wheel for. Hello. Thank you for calling Nike. This is Adam. I'm going to help you.
I was calling for the lesbian manager, please. The what? Oh, I'm sorry. He didn't tell you what was going on.
No. Oh, OK. I was just making sure that this is like an LGBT safe, like an ally, like a good place for lesbians.
This is Nike.
Keep at it.
Yeah, no, I just want to make sure.
The deal is that I really, really, really like lesbians.
And I just like, I think that they're good at shopping.
And if they come there to buy shoes, then I know that that's a good place to buy shoes.
I just want to know if you have lesbians that come in there at all.
Yeah.
You know, come on, man.
The Nike store, of course.
They love wearing that stuff.
Butchie ones.
Trucker safety line.
Or I can call Full Sail University.
I used to pass this university every day on my way to work.
To and fro, I say.
Let's see.
I don't know if they'll be open, but we'll try.
I got fucking ash on my finger.
Thank you for calling Full Sail University.
Marijuana.
We're glad you've called and want to let you know that we record the call for training purposes and to improve your experience.
Are you currently taking classes?
If so, please press 1 now.
Otherwise, please stay on the line and we will connect you with the university representative in a moment.
There's your dog.
Yeah, I'll take this one.
More than a dozen undergraduates.
Thank you for calling Full Sail University.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Let me see if I got it.
He'd probably want to answer for a random number.
Let me see if I got it.
Let's call him on the air.
It's been a while.
I mean, I could YouTube call him and shit like that, but...
All right, I don't have him there.
Let me see if I have him as the dad.
I used to.
No, I got dad.
I don't talk to that guy.
All right, well, I have to reach out to the dad and let him know,
hey, motherfucker, we're going to be in your town.
You need to come out.
Dude, that's going to be great.
The dad.
Fucking the dad.
That's a great picture of him.
A gif of him dancing.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Character
Height
Height
Heigh
Man, I hope those racist black guys call me back.
They were awesome.
Hi, you've reached Judy at TMT Mechanical.
Judy, oh Judy.
Call right now.
Please leave your name and number.
Let's try her again.
I thought it was a guy.
Nunu, I thought it was a guy.
Nunu should come, man.
Nunu, the next meetup we do, Nunu's got to come.
I mean, this is a guy who I've, the only bit of Nunu's voice that I've heard is him
laughing in the background of a soundboard prank he did once.
Like he kind of, like that a little bit.
Oh yeah, Judy oh Judy
I heard that Nunu has like a hair whip
And he's like
That's what I heard
But I don't believe it
Hi, you've reached Judy at TMT Mechanical
Judy oh Judy
Hello caller, thank you for calling
Hello?
Hello, hi caller
Is this Big Carlito?
This is, yes
Why? You ask like that, why?
What's up, buddy?
Hey buddy, who's calling buddy?
Oh, this is Big Brendan
Oh, hey Big Brendan
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I don't know about this guy.
I don't know about this kid.
Thank you for calling SmithSafe.
May I have the decal number of the vehicle you're calling about, please?
Let's go, motherfucker.
Who are you?
I was talking to a white guy.
Who are you?
This is actually the answering service for them.
The monitoring service.
The who answered?
Actually, the...
The computers?
Yes, sir.
Yeah, the computer?
Yeah?
Well, AK2537, I'm calling the report.
Yeah, the driver...
The driver blew my son a kiss, and he thinks he was cute, so we want to see if we can get his phone number.
Right, kid? Right, boy?
Yeah, yeah.
See?
All right. Do you happen to have the license plate number?
It was carrying gas tanks.
All right.
What company is it?
I don't know. It was a truck machine. It was in Henderson, Kentucky on Highway 41. God damn it.
Highway 41?
Yeah, God damn it. And he was blowing kisses at my son, and now my son wants to suck his dick and shit.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Do you know what a hot plate is?
Do you know what a hot plate is?
No, sir, but do you have a complaint?
I mean...
It's not a complaint, really.
It's what would you call it?
It's a...
I don't know.
It's a love connection?
My son's 16.
He wants to suck his dick.
What else can I say?
Come on.
It's legal in Kentucky.
All righty.
So you don't have a real...
Well, he was blowing kisses, and that was kind of dangerous.
Can you put me in touch with the driver?
No, sir.
I'm not actually able to do that.
We just do complaints.
Well, can you...
Can you get his phone number?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
All right, keep listening buddy. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye. You did. All right. All right. Take back what I said about that kid. I'm not intimidated by his machines. Uh, I guess one more prank. One more prank. Last prank here that I need to get the voicemails. Everyone's favorite part of the show. Voicemails and such. Here's a caller. We'll put one last caller on. Caller, you're the last caller. Don't fuck it up. How you doing?
I'm an asshole. What's going on?
Hey, asshole.
Asshole
Asshole
Asshole
Aww man
What happened?
Oh I didn't hit the one
Shit
Wait a second
Now you broke it
Now you broke it
Trying to get a Taco Bell here
Been another crappy show
Oh it was a good show
Especially when those Africans were yelling at you
Yeah it sucks that it dropped
Dude they were awesome
They were awesome
Reminds me of the old VTR days
Yeah
Hold on hold on hold on
I'm a kid
How can I help?
Yeah hey
This is Taco Bell
Oh yes it is
The sign I wrote
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm here right now. I'm on the clock. Will you come over here, motherfucker? I kicked Jordan's ass last night. I'm gonna kick your ass down, motherfucker. Yeah, fuck Jordan. Yeah, no, I'm here. Come on. I'm outside right now. What's up? What's up, cuz? What's up, cuzzo? Whatever. Starting shit.
You're going to beat some random person's ass.
It's just some guys out there.
Some old man with a fucking Burger King shake.
Oh, I hung up on Dwight.
Hello, damn it.
This is Carlito.
Oh, hey, Carlito.
This is great big Pete.
How are you doing?
Oh, good.
How are you?
Yay.
Hey, Milkman.
How are you doing, honey baby?
He's not here.
Oh, what the fuck?
Yeah, you know.
He couldn't make it tonight.
Unfortunately, we don't know shit. Well, I just called this. I say hi to Milkman. I'll spray. I'll talk to him tomorrow. I'll let him know. I'm kidding. I was messing with you. I came to call it. I called to talk to you, too. Okay. So how you been, man? What's what's new in the neck of the in your neck of the woods? Okay, just, you know, a lot of stress, man. Just really fucking stressed out about shit. You know, now there's trips coming up. I don't know. I get a lot of social anxiety and shit, you know. Yeah. So I follow trying to talk myself out of it. And like, I
Call Nation Madhouse Live
No, I like your dog, by the way, I like your homie. Yeah, give him a big he's a homer. Give Homer a big, you know, rub for me. Yeah, a rub. Hey, Homer. Yeah. Yeah, buddy. Yeah. He is a good dog. Yeah, he's he's not. He's not. He's fuck. He stole my socks three times this morning was trying to get ready for work. Fucking guy. And yeah, he breaks in the room. Now he figured out how to open the door. I guess he can push on it a certain way. Yeah, fuck. Yeah.
Bacit Hound
Bacit Hound
yeah
acid hound
yeah
no I had one
his name was Winston
he was a motherfucker
yeah
well they're cute though
they're lucky they're cute
that's the whole thing
that's true yeah
fucking Winston
when I saw him
when I saw Winston
in the window
like this was years ago
you know before he died
when I saw him
in the little
in the little
you know
in the cage
with his two sisters
you know his two sisters
were like
oh look at us
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
uh burt reynolds and shit uh he burt reynolds didn't die in time he missed the cut off dude
come on burt reynolds what the fuck man you know lazy fucking guy taking forever to die and shit
taking too long that shit we got to do excuse me let me see where that voicemail is though hang
on hold on hold on hold on bitch where we got an american rapper dwight errington myers died
suddenly at the young age of 44 on november 8th 2011 after collapsing at his home period his
His death was initially thought to be connected to pneumonia.
An autopsy report released on December 27, 2011, stated that the cause of death was pulmonary embolism.
The coroner's office found that Myers died of a PE that had broken off from a deep vein thrombosis in the leg.
He also suffered from heart disease.
Myers was among a handful of hip-hop stars in the 1980s who successfully established a lasting career,
Madhouse Live
Biggie Smalls
Heavy D
Big Punch
Super Fucking Group
Touring
I don't know what they could have called themselves
They would have probably been a really good
front line
for a football team too
They'd be unstoppable
They'd be like that Chicago 80-something team
with the fridge
Motherfucker
Speaking of Chicago
Chicago
Five Year Old Lady
Yeah, I spoke to her
Oh, that's them, the Jokers over there
the Chicago Boys
Hey homie, home
This is a message for Carlito
This is Wyatt Earp calling
No it's not
I'm Canadian here
You should try calling some Canadian places
Give us some of your compadres up north some love
I don't get too familiar with me, man.
I have a question regarding a clip that you play on the show.
There's an Asian boy who talks about his father being killed by the senpai or samurai and sword.
I want to know what movie that's from and if you can play that clip again.
Thank you very much.
An Asian boy who talks about his father being killed by the samurai.
Is that Wu-Tang?
Is that what he's saying?
Hang on.
Let's play that real quick because now I got to know.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'll look it up and I'll figure it out.
Remind me.
Put that on the big board, Milkman.
Oh, shit.
No, that's you again.
Get out of here.
All right, Carlito, motherfucker.
The dude you're talking to right now, hilarious.
Fucking hilarious.
You tell him, motherfucker.
You tell him.
Minnesota Greg, motherfucker.
Minnesota Greg, motherfucker, yeah.
All right, you tell me.
You tell me to tell them, motherfucker, yeah.
Right on.
Drink them past blue ribbon, boy.
Mixer No Work
Why?
Mixer No Working
Mixer Working?
Mixer Working
What do you mean
Mixer No Working?
Mixer Work
Unless you're the person behind it
Actually
My friend Andy could tell you
And he's in Chicago
Hopefully he's going to come out
And hang out
My good friend
I don't know if I really should call Andy
My best friend anymore
Because he moved away
We don't keep in touch as much as we did
And I always say
He was the first co-host of the show
But you know
He's still like my boy
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Prank with you last Friday
Yeah, yeah, I remember
Yeah, it was a good call too
Thanks, man
Yeah, I think you were the only guest caller on Prank Calls of the Week
Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up
Bastard
This isn't an RBCP show where you say that a lot
Oh, hey, honey baby
This here is Great Big Pete
Just thought I'd call to say hello
Oh, hey, it's you
I was hoping to get you live but obviously I'm not unless you're listening to this later in the live show and then technically I'm live
yeah you were on twice
yeah
alright cool well thanks for being on motherfucker again breaking the rules
welcome to the botnet we love you
hey The N what's up man good to talk to The N
and the last one
yo I want my fucking TV back
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
It is now Friday night. It's around the same time. So be sure to head over to discord.gg slash pranks
I think there's another link. I'm supposed to be giving out instead of that something with fun in it
I don't know just do what I said. All right figure it out from there
I'll have the right one next time if you're gonna be if you're near the Chicago area if you can make it out
Saturday, September 15th, the kings of pranks will be together RBCP myself Jaiad Dwight McClanahan
Madhouse Live
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Super Chat
Cactus Sensei Doug
Catastrophe
Dom the Bomb
Walter Heimlich
Donated
Dookie Miles
Other Donators
Alex, Jared Van, MST3 Clay, and Jack Heliquin
Thank you all of you who donated. I greatly appreciate it.
Also, Major Tonight has donated last week.
He made a one-time donation.
All of you, thank you so much for supporting, for helping me get out there, and be able to pay my electric bill this week.
I'll catch you guys not next week, but the week after that, we'll be doing another show here with me and Milkman, hopefully, hopefully, if the drama queen's okay.
And look out for some type of live show over there next weekend, over the 15th, if I broadcast or some of us do something.
We'll catch you here next week
Thank you very much
Good bye
Go to hell

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