MadhouseLive

I’m Not Looking for a Dishwasher

18 Oct 2018 · 2 h 18 min · 8,167 words · source

Calls (22, 54 min of 2 h 18 min)

  1. Peace Over Violence Organization live 6.1 min clip ↓
  2. Campaign worker asked about voting in dead people's names live 6.3 min clip ↓
  3. Porn Addiction Hotline transfer live 2.3 min clip ↓
  4. Jet.com website description issue ivr 7.6 min clip ↓
  5. Jet.com customer service about product description live 7.3 min clip ↓
  6. Diamond Motors job inquiry live 1.1 min clip ↓
  7. Dominic Motors caller return live 48 s clip ↓
  8. First-time caller introduces himself live 1.1 min clip ↓
  9. Caller asks about Nevada license live 48 s clip ↓
  10. Caller discusses show dynamics and conflicts live 48 s clip ↓
  11. Ghetto bank interrupted by Homer live 1.6 min clip ↓
  12. Sears appliance department live 48 s clip ↓
  13. Jet.com security call prank live 33 s clip ↓
  14. Network pickup and hang-up live 33 s clip ↓
  15. Indian restaurant customer insults staff live 4.6 min clip ↓
  16. Calling Emperor of India prank live 33 s clip ↓
  17. Calling Indian restaurant about tandoori oven live 33 s clip ↓
  18. Calling another Indian restaurant after anger live 33 s clip ↓
  19. Playback of call with gibberish playback 1.1 min clip ↓
  20. Sears automated system ivr 1.1 min clip ↓
  21. Sears large appliances IVR menu ivr 1.8 min clip ↓
  22. Sean Cloud Photography asked for photos live 7.1 min clip ↓

Transcript

Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you okay?
You keep interrupting me.
Yeah.
Who, you bhenchod?
No, you bhenchod, madarchod.
No, you bhenchod, motherfucker.
No, you.
I'm in the streets listening to Madhouse Live.
I hope my speech can compete with that bad mouth style that we get from Carlito.
That's my big amigo.
So just kick back to listen to this cat call people when this show goes live.
I'll be like, damn, this shit's bitchin'.
Stop whatever I'm doing to tune in and listen.
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Waffle House
I don't know
Probably about how this is a prank call show
She heard me say that it was a prank call earlier
Woman be making up shit trying to get out of work
You know
Yeah listen I was going to order something there
But one of your people was out back
And he farted in his hand and he smelled it
Hello what the fuck
Hello command you to listen
Stupid I almost had a job at this particular McDonald's
When I was a teenager
Why did you hang up
Why did you hang up
So I have your name and phone number
Mother of All Time
What did i say i didn't say shit to you stupid fucking shit
why is all the music so skipping now why
stop it and this is confusing to confusing shift show the
What did i say tell me what i say you can't tell me she can't tell me what did i say exactly
dude i got all right so park fans sent numbers this week and one of them sounds amazing i don't want to give
Out what it is it says that they don't start till eight so i'm gonna yet
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Other than that, I mean, there's other stuff there.
Just madhouselive.com, you know, I'll get to some more things later.
Oh, if you want to call in, you can.
I have an incoming call, a caller line 405-3966-884.
That's 405-39-MOUTH.
Join the show, call in, compliment me, insult me, stroke my ego or strike it down.
And maybe if you want, you can do a prank call with me.
Hooray!
It'll be so much fun.
Alright, this is the Peace Over Violence Organization. Let's see if they pick up.
Yeah, Peace Over Violence Organization, right?
Uh, yeah, yeah, I need some assistance.
Thank you.
Hey, what's your name?
Hey, Big Kelsey. Thank you for taking my call.
Okay, did you have a script to read or something to start with?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
The only letter that Peace Over Violence offers are letters for clients that are receiving services through us to just confirm that they are receiving those services, whether it's case management or counseling.
Yeah, but I mean, aren't they going to have a full report about what's going on and like with my case?
Yeah.
Okay.
I've never come across this situation before so honestly I'm not quite sure where you might go about getting one of those letters. Obviously you might be able to hire legal representation but beyond that I'm not sure what your options are because I know for at least service agencies like Peace Over Violence it wouldn't be possible to get a letter like that from them.
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Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm not angry I'm just violent
I'm not angry I'm just violent
I'm totally like calm while I'm doing it
Watch watch like this
See I'm just calm nice and calm
Nice and calm nice and calm
See
Alright
Fucking shit you know
You know and I farted in my hand
And I was smelling it you know
You ever try that
I don't know what's up with the YouTube I don't know why it's not streaming I don't know
maybe I finally got delisted or something please be let me check my Gmail real quick see if I got
a notice from YouTube saying you've been playing too much copyright merger see doesn't look like
it no no no it's a YouTube problem well now's not the time to fix it so do not do not try to
Check out the YouTube. It is not the work.
I'm going to try one more thing. I just hate derailing everything, you know, just for that.
But anything for you guys, I guess.
It's weird because in the monitor, I can see that it's running.
I see myself and everything, but I'm the only person watching it.
And it's not listed on my channel or anything.
Very weird.
To do something. It says the stream health is healthy. It's green.
Oh, well, that sucks because I actually get super chats on there.
That's always nice to get a little bit of that super chat YouTube money.
Thanks, YouTube.
Press 1 to hear the conference rules.
Press 2 to enter the conference.
Let's hear the rules.
1. Everyone is expected to be polite, respectful, courteous, and not contentious at all times.
2. No unclean or suggestive language or jokes about religious things.
3. No playing of tapes or musical instruments of any kind.
4. No proselyting or sheep-stealing.
5. No announcements of religious meetings, singings, etc. that will take place outside the line without the clearance from a board member.
6. Anyone interfering with the conference operations, breaking rules, or not cooperating will have their phone number blocked.
An example, refusing to say your name when a board member asks you for it.
7. Anyone speaking or teaching about spiritual things must identify themselves.
8. Only adults should speak on the line.
9. No boy and girl visiting on the line, and women talking on the line should be kept to a minimum.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
The Sex Addicts
By the way, a concept that I came up with and shared with Dwight McClanahan.
Just saying.
Another idea that was stolen from me by people who hate me.
Alright, alright, let me think, let me think here.
Hmm.
Let me think, what can I do, what can I do, what can I do?
Welcome to the Amish and Mennonite Conference Lines.
Use it for God's glory.
Please press star for options.
If you are the moderator, please press one.
Otherwise, please hold to be placed into the conference.
This call has been blocked.
Madhouse Live
campaign jobs
looking for jobs
for campaigning
here we go
let's do this
yeah campaign jobs
yeah you're interested
yeah for what campaign
um we are currently knocking doors
regarding the upcoming election
we're in the get out the vote
uh phase of our campaign
we are um endorsing Steve Sisolak and Jackie Rosen
so we're going from door to door
and letting people know about the upcoming election
as well as encouraging them to vote
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I can bring, yeah, totally, I can bring some.
You guys, are you guys cool?
You know what I mean?
We are cool.
Well, you know what I mean by cool, though, right?
Do we smoke weed in our office?
No.
Oh, but like outside the office, right?
I am not a judgment individual on what you do in your personal life, just as long as
you're not soaking up in my office.
Okay.
We are fine.
Okay, okay.
I take, I make edibles, too.
Very cool.
All right, Crossbow.
I'll put it up your ass I'll put it up your ass you know so okay so it bypasses your liver
okay well you have a great rest of your day hey you know when the THC bypasses your liver it
actually is a different high okay let me adjust my call rd to what I want it to be what I really
want to be are you cool you're just like yeah sure whatever I had so much more I wanted to say
I wanted to go to funeral homes and get the names of people that died and vote in court
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Died February 7, 2000
Christopher Lee Carlos Rios
Debuted as a guest rapper on Fat Joe's 1995 album Jealous One's Envy
Then appeared on a Flesh and Bone solo on album Thugs in 1996
And the Beat Nuts 1997 album Zone Crazy
Before signing with Loud Records as a solo artist
Pun's lyrics are notable for technical efficiency
Having minimal pauses to take a breath
Tenske
Yes, as Well as Internal and
Multifillable Rhyming Schemes real struggle with Weight issues his Entire adult life he weighed
182 Pounds At Age 18 Which?
Increased to 300 Pounds at 21 his weight Fluctuated an early-1990s between Obese and Morbidly Obese on February 5th
2000 Rios
Withdrew from a planned Saturday Night Live Performance With fat joe and a J Lo Due to Illness
Two days later, while staying at a hotel with his family in White Plains, New York,
he suffered a heart attack and a respiratory failure
and was taken to a hospital where he died at the age of 28
after paramedics were unable to revive him.
His weight had reached a peak of 698 fucking pounds at the time of his death.
And he, you see, I had thought he had lost 100 pounds.
He said that in one of his songs on his posthumous album.
Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
All right.
Big pun, motherfucker.
Rest in peace, pun.
Yeah.
All righty.
All right.
That's me.
All righty.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, hey, guys, at the very least, I'm recording the show, the video feed, so I'll just upload
it after the show.
It's going to be chopped up because I started, stopped, started, stopped trying to fix it.
So, hey, YouTube, you haven't missed much.
Back to the list of phone numbers from Mr. Parkman, Mr. Lonesome Loser II, Mental Health Worker Job, yeah, alright.
Oh yeah, 405-396-6884, that is the phone line, 405-396-6884, I saw someone calling earlier, but please do call, do call.
Carlito's gotta pee though, my bad, made a mistake here, should've peed before the show, huh?
Doesn't matter, we're not missing much.
Let me play a quick prank call so I can make a pee-pee.
I don't like Fat Joe though, just saying. I love Big Pun, love everything he did. Fat Joe just pisses me off just looking at him, that fucking 24-7 fucking smirk of his. Fuck him.
Here's a prank call called Clean Toilets for America. It's only 26 seconds long, but I'll queue it up first because now I'm curious, what the fuck is Clean Toilets for America?
And here's another one. Hound Sterling, that's a pretty funny one. Give me a couple minutes, I'll be right back, ladies.
I guess I'm back. Sorry about that, everyone. The computer took a shit. I took a piss and the computer took a shit. Yes, it's fair. Only fair. Not like we had any success anyway. In the meantime, I figured I'd just give everything a restart and see if I could get the YouTube to work again. See if a good old reboot did the thing, the cure. It unfortunately did not.
Stumbling Thoughts Jumbo Stutter When Uttering Mastooking For Drunking When Your Soul Bubble From Hunger And Jumping To Cock And Plugging A Lack So We're Back And So Much For That
Man You Two Have Been Real Fucky Lately But I'm Really Just I'm Just Concerned That They Took Away My Rights To Broadcast Live
That Would Suck
Madhouse Live
I swear this, I swear to all wrong.
Like this person right here.
Hi, I'm Carlito. How can I help you?
Hey, it's Dragon Burr. What's up, man?
Dragon Burr, how you doing? I'm trying to survive tonight, I guess.
You know?
Oh, you got technical problems, huh?
Technical problems, yeah. YouTube's still a stickler, which sucks because a lot of people seem to enjoy that.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
How you been doing?
I'm good, I'm good.
Good, good.
We gotta do pranks.
Shit.
I gotta do pranks, Luce.
I do myself.
Let's see if I can reopen that here.
I think I'm back on everything, by the way.
Oh, shit.
Damn it, that sucks.
I did not save something before that happened.
Lost my phone number list.
Now I gotta reload it here.
Shit.
Subpar Show
Oh boy
Good old Subpar Show
Alright, back to
Parkman
Anyway, I'm not ignoring you, I'm just trying to get my numbers back here
Oh, it's all good
Porn Addiction Hotline, nice
What the heck, let's do the Porn Addiction
Let's start from the bottom of the list
Porn Addiction Hotline it is
I'm hoping this is different than the Sex Addicts Anonymous
Thank you for calling the IME Addiction Access Center.
Calls may be monitored for quality assurance.
This is Thomas speaking. May I help you?
Hey, I was fired for looking at gay pornography on my computer at work.
Hey, and where are you calling from?
I'm calling from San Jose.
So you have an addiction to porn?
Yeah. I mean, it's screwed up my life at this point, you know.
Are you currently in a hospital facility?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
4-7-7-8-1-9-1
4-7-7-8-1-9-1
And you can transfer me?
Yes, hold on.
Okay.
Is it going to be a person, an actual person?
I'm sorry, Dragon Mirror, I didn't have you on.
I'm sorry.
It's okay. I'm not mad.
I was playing porno to the porno addiction hall.
Sir, if you could please stop playing that.
He said he was transferring me over. Hello?
...to the International Service Organization of Sex Addicts Anonymous.
Either way, you're on the phone.
Yeah, he said I'm going to transfer you.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Which reminds me, which reminds me, I have an idea.
You were listening to those pranks I was doing Saturday for the podcast, right?
For the ITBM?
Yeah, I was in there for most of that, yep.
Okay, so where I realized that Jet.com, which is basically like another version,
it's like the ghetto Amazon that's owned by Walmart,
where they sell a lot of porno adult items and stuff.
I'm the one who told you that.
I'm the one who typed in strap on and it popped up.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Thank you for calling Jet.com. To check the status of an order, please press 1. To set up a return, press 2.
If you'd like to speak to a Jethead, press 1.
Thank you for calling Jet.com. My name is Cassidy. How may I help you?
Hi, Cassidy. I seem to be having trouble with your website. It's not displaying the descriptions of the item, and I need to know more information on this. Can you please help me out?
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
There's no information on that.
But again, if you have any more detailed questions about it,
you can email us at help at jet.com and we can answer you there.
This is a masturbator, correct?
Correct.
Okay. Can you describe the diet and what it looks like to me?
I cannot describe it to you over the phone since the calls are recorded,
but we can answer that through email.
Okay. But it's vaginal in nature?
Correct.
White girl vaginal?
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Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Pdx me silly say that one more time pipe dream products pdx me silly hey okay how can i help you
with that okay this should be um are you able to explain to me the description and you see this on
the website on the jet website uh yeah i only get as far as where it says share fp fave and then
after that it says description and then it's just all like it doesn't show anything it just says
program alarm 1202
I would not know
So what is it?
I'm asking for the description
It looks like a piece
It says description in purple
and underneath that it says error
program alarm 1202
program alarm 1202
It says call
and it has the number that I called
855-538-4323
for description information
Call Nation Madhouse Live
How do you like fertility art?
Fertility art?
Yeah.
It's PDXF star CK me silly.
Hello, it's off the quiet there.
I'm just looking.
I'm trying to find out what you're looking for.
I thought you said you had it.
I'm saying that if you see it on our website, we could have it.
Okay.
But I haven't been able to pull anything up.
Sometimes if it's not available on our website, you can still find it on Google.
What results did you get?
I haven't gotten anything yet on our website.
When you put in PDXF?
P-D-X-F-Star-C-K-Me-Silly
You get nothing.
There is a pipedreamproducts.com.
You can go to their official website.
Okay, well...
It can't be reached.
Well, you should be seeing a big ass and a big vagina.
Well, I guess then you need to look in our adult products.
See, I knew what you were looking for.
Does it fart?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Here's your all-access, anytime, anyplace piece of pussy and ass made just for your cock.
That's what it says on my description.
Take your fuck slut out of the box.
Get out the free lube and pound that bitch until you fuck her silly.
The free lube comes with it. Nice.
It's just funny because I know she pulled it up, but it's literally like, it's just an ass and a pussy and the two legs.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
All right, your phone's kind of, do you have a problem with your headset?
Um, I can hear you. Are you unable to hear me?
Now I can hear you now that you fixed it.
Oh, you can? Oh, okay.
Because you had it in a bad position, I think. Why?
Oh, oh, okay.
Shut up your ass.
Well, okay. Um, excuse you?
What was wrong with your headset, you were saying?
Oh, sorry. Can you, can you, you can hear me now?
Yeah, can you hear me? Obviously, it sounds like you can. Great. Okay, can you please search an item for me?
Uh, yeah, what was the item you were looking at?
Tenga Deep Throat Cup.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Top Air Flow Valve
To create tightness and suction
And that is disposable
That's based on the
That's based on the description on your website
Um yeah just basically the
Description that's on there
Is just kind of what the product is
And how to use it
Okay does my penis go in this or does this go up my bum
I don't understand though
Cause you know it's kind of hard to tell from the pictures
Um honestly I'm not 100% sure
Do you mind if I just put you on a brief hold
While I look into this for just a moment
Oh sure yeah go ahead look into it all you need
Thank you.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
I'm going to get the supervisor.
Sir, you need to stop calling her.
They got a penis extension here.
It just sucks that I have skewed.
See, I put in penis and I got post-evac.
Medical grade vacuum erectile.
All right, yeah.
But I don't get any actual penises.
Oh, yeah, look.
Rapport Classic Vacuum Therapy Device for ED.
My cat just did the cutest thing.
So I pet him and gave him a treat.
Then he walked away.
I think my cat is deepening me.
Thank you for your patience.
A jet head will be with you soon.
What the fuck?
I know right now they're probably all like, oh my god, yeah, he called me too.
That's disgusting.
All right, so let me look for a phone number for...
Thanks for holding.
My name's Joe.
I'm part of the management team here at Jet.com.
How can I help you today?
Oh, hey, officer.
How you doing?
I'm not an officer.
What can I do for you today?
Well, you're acting like one or something.
What can I do for you, sir?
I want to help you.
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Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman
I'm gonna clear the line so uh someone else can call hey thanks for having me no problem
thanks for being on dragon mirror I'll talk to you dragon mirror's out of here on his ass
uh we've lost shoutcast yay I'm honestly thinking about just calling it quits man
I think we still get a I still get a copy of the show via whatchamacallit via mixler
so we're good there why the fuck is this fucking crashing so much though it's driving me nuts
All right, stand by, everybody.
Oh, it just sucks.
It's difficult to pause the music and everything.
How's this?
Okay, at least I can do calls still.
So for those still listening on Mixler, thank you very much.
Let me go back to the number list here.
Called campaign jobs.
We called mental health worker.
I don't know.
Car salesman job.
Here we go.
God, now the mouse is fucking up.
Jesus, I can't do anything.
All right, guys, I'm sorry to do this, but I'm getting frustrated.
I've Got Like Zero Control Of The Computer Again Here Not Sure What's Going On This Is Gonna Take Some Troubleshooting Probably Now It's Working But I Don't Know For How Long Let Me Try One Last Prank Call And I Think This Is It Sorry Guys That's The Breaks I'll Make It On The Weekend I'll Troubleshoot Tomorrow See If I Can Figure Out What's Going On Thank You For Calling Diamond Motors Hey I See You Got A Job For Car Sales Man Hold On Let Me See If That's Still Available Shit Alright Yeah I Don't Know About That You Want To Call Tomorrow
Call Nation Madhouse Live
What to do?
Dominic Motors, how can I help you?
Yeah, who's this, Jeff or Dale?
Who's this?
My name's Cross.
What's your name?
Cross.
Okay, so what's going on?
What's your name?
Buddy, what are you calling for?
Are you the one who just called for the job?
I need to talk to Jeff or Dale.
Okay, did you just call a minute ago?
I'm returning their call.
Returning a call?
Yeah.
We didn't call.
We called you.
Jeff or Dale?
Jeff called back, said ask for him or Dale?
Okay, now you're lying.
Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Nice. We're back in business on the Winamp.
Alright, there's hope yet for a show here.
Let's try to call back.
Hey, let's take this caller here.
Hello, caller. I'm Carlito. Thanks.
Shoot, is this Carlito?
Yeah, this is Carlito. How you doing?
Yo, dude, I'm my first-time caller, but long-time listener.
Okay, alright.
Like, for real, man.
Yeah? Cool. Cool. Cool.
Do you have a prank name?
Uh, no, I just, dude, I've been listening to y'all for, like, probably six years now, five years.
Fuck, yeah, I've been fucking out so hard.
No, but, yeah, dude, no, I love your pranks, bro, like, seriously, the Mexican guy, you know, the Mexican guy that, like, freaked out on you, like...
This is Los Angeles?
Dude, that guy, it's...
That guy?
No, I'm not, no, no, no.
Oh!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Down with the table.
Yeah, yeah, the stamina table, yeah, yeah.
Fucking, dude, you sound like a motherfucker.
That guy, yeah.
Madhouse Live
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I don't know the fucking states I'm Puerto Rican
What do you think I don't know that stuff
All power to you guys that's cool
Yeah man how about Trump
Are you one of those like I voted for Trump
Mexican Mexicans
Oh no man
You can't vote
It's all good
Voters thing and shit
But yeah
Hey you gotta vote in November man
Alright you gotta vote in three weeks
I don't care who everyone votes for
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank
Steve Sheet
What's up Athena what's going on
Why are you opening the door
Okay weirdo
Yo where's Milkman at
Milkman he got
He got really weird with me
Like five minutes before a show
Like a month ago and he started yelling at me
Over something dumb
And I told him I was like look man
If you're going to yell at me especially five minutes before a show
I'm just going to hang up and I said I'm doing my sale
When he hung up and I haven't talked to him since
I'm waiting for an apology
I'm waiting for an apology
No I'm not going to call him
No I'm done with that
Cause he's like
It ain't fair
No he said
You know what he said
That motherfucker
He said
And you need to stop
Talking over me on the show
Like are you fucking kidding me
Are you fucking kidding me
I need to stop
Talking over you on my show
I was like
Fuck yeah
I know this is shit
I probably should keep private
But fuck man
He really fucking pissed me off
For that
So that's what's going on
When people were asking
It's not that I hate the guy
I have a lot of love it's like a brother to me but he needs to apologize and I'm sticking to that
because I'm not gonna I didn't know that happened yeah I didn't tell anyone really
he just all of a sudden out of nowhere just started yelling at me or shit
I think he was he was upset about the Chicago meetup but he couldn't go I know
that's what I got because he wanted to go
Call Nation Madhouse Live
It's from California.
Is that a requirement?
Yeah.
Well, I'm looking for somebody.
No.
You have to go to...
Here in Nevada, you have to go to take a college course to get it.
So I'm looking for somebody that has an active Nevada license right now that can start tomorrow.
God damn it, you know?
You're about two months out on it.
Well, fucking shit.
You have to take it to Nevada.
What about oil, motherfucker?
What about the oil, motherfucker?
Fucking, I fucked it up.
I should have just said I had it.
Me and my stupid fucking stories.
I told him I'm sorry.
So that's what happened to Milkman now everyone knows now everyone can stop asking
yeah i'm waiting for an apology you haven't talked to him since nope oh man i texted him
that night they talked i said good night that's i was trying to be polite then i thought about
i was like oh he's gonna he's gonna apologize i'm not gonna be the one people talk shit on
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Prank Call Nation
In The Nation
Well glad you made it
Glad you crossed over from the ownage side
My god
Oh yeah
He doesn't see a classic
Yeah he does
I think Dyler's the one
He hates his ass so much
I think Dyler's caught him stealing his shit before
Like his ideas
And I know Jin Stewart
I think he said some Jin Stewart stuff too
Jin gets mad
Because Jin's like it's not fair
Hello?
I know Jen just gets mad that he's got so many subscribers and listeners and shit
and knows that he's probably making pretty good money off of it.
Oh, dude.
Yeah.
I'm a YouTuber myself.
Cool.
I was until I don't know what happened now that I can't play the live shit.
I don't know what's going on.
It's not going out live.
Did you get demonetized?
Well, I don't know.
What happened?
I don't know.
No, I don't know.
I know there's somewhere where you can see your status like your permit if you're allowed to broadcast live I need to get to that page in my dashboard I don't know where it is in the dashboard do you have an idea off the top of your head would you know um yeah go to your go to your creator studio and then from creator studio uh there's like a sidebar on on the left you need to go to I think it's the channel I think it's what it is channel channel and then yeah and then it's like status and features yes yes
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank
Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
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Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by Kris Brandhagen.com
Live Streams
Before I Actually Go Live
To Make Sure
Everything's Running
Right
You're Not Doing
Those Weird Videos
With Like Kids
Like You Know
Not Like Pedophile Stuff
But Kind Of
I'm Sorry
Oh What Is It
The ASMR
Whatever That
Weird
ASMR Shit
Yeah
That Shit Was Weird
I Heard About That
Like It Was Like
Wasn't Like Videos
Of Just Kids
Eating Ice Cream
Like Really Creepily
Yeah It's
YouTube
Dude I've Been On YouTube
Since Like 2010 Man
And It's Changed A Lot
Yeah
It Sure Has
PAYTECH ADVANCE
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
This is the part where you answer.
Hello?
This is the ghetto bank, right?
You're just going to sit there, honey?
Whatever.
Now Homer's in here trying to eat my two liter bottle.
Hey, buddy.
Homer.
Stop.
Hey.
Let it go.
Let it go.
Let it go.
Walk back.
You cannot eat the plastic bottle.
Oh, she thought it was a joke from the beginning.
All I said is I lost a bet.
Well, I lost a bet with Lysol.
That's all he fucking said.
Yeah.
All right.
Buddy, thanks for helping me out with the YouTube problem.
What's up bros!
Hey, thanks for watching!
HOMER!
I'm sorry dude, you cannot eat empty two liter bottles of Coke Zero, it has aspartame and
that's gonna hurt your kidneys.
Hey, do not!
Hey!
Man you guys missed that he just stole a fucking handkerchief off of my fucking desk.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation
Closing 100-something stores in the next month or two.
And I always have fun with those.
It's kind of late though, right?
Let's see if I can find some that might be open.
Still, it's not that late.
Yeah, definitely in California I can find some.
We can do some of them Glory Hole relocation calls.
Always love those.
Yeah, I don't think I should have really talked about the whole Milkman thing, but that's what happened.
Thank you for calling Sears.
Great. One moment while I transfer your call.
yeah hey you work appliances oh really did they take you seriously no i mean i usually talk to a
man there yes sir but females also work in this department oh well not for long is there a man i
can talk to that's the problem when they start when the women work in the appliance i think i'm
gonna buy a washer from a woman you're crazy you're one of them old school dudes
Closed Captions by GetTranscribed.com
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Die Hard
Land's End Clothing
2010
The company's been in the red for 8 fucking years
Even the competitors have embraced
online shopping and stuff like that
Sears would have been great for that
They started off as a catalog store
The description of them was they were Amazon
before Amazon was a thing
I remember there were Sears catalog stores
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
My name is Cross. What do you want?
Who is this?
What do you want? Identify yourself.
I'm calling from security for Jet.com.
Yeah, what do you want?
What can I help you with?
Well, can you describe to me the item? Because they won't describe shit to me.
No, I'm just seeing how we can help you, so I don't have to call the local police.
Oh, you're going to get the local police over an item you have listed on your website,
and your website says call this number if you have questions.
Okay.
What are they going to do?
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Thick condom?
I don't get how that's pleasurable for me.
How do I get pleasure out of a penis extension?
For what?
Making the woman happier?
Because I gave myself an extra five inches?
Does my woman really need 15 inches?
This is Carl.
Yo, Carlito.
Hey, Big Brendan.
You sent numbers tonight.
I think, right?
I sent him to a couple of Indian restaurants.
Oh, I love Indians.
You know what concept I want you to get?
Call Nation Madhouse Live
I'm going to put the cam on for everyone.
These two are going to start a fight.
Davi and Homer.
Both of you.
No.
Don't.
Do not start.
And it's Davi's instigator right now.
Aw, he's making Homer leave.
Uh-oh, here we go.
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
They're going, they're going.
Davi, you just scared the dog.
You're really rude, man.
People donate way more for Homer than you, Davi.
Just saying.
You're an old fucking man cat that pees everywhere.
No one likes you.
Has Davi, like, torn into his nose yet?
No, he doesn't.
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Here we go.
It's sad because Homer just wants to be his friend.
Hello?
Oh, I'm here.
I thought...
Oh, it's network.
They picked up and hung up.
I'll try one more time.
Just in case it was a mistake of some sort.
Yeah, they're just picking up and hanging up.
Jerks.
Shit.
Sorry, buddy.
Ugh.
Yeah.
It's okay.
Don't fret.
Let me...
I can find Indian restaurants.
If you have, like, another...
I've actually called some in...
Yeah, the town...
I've called some actually in Detroit.
No, I'm sorry.
Poonjab Cafe
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
There's a lot of filth in India, you know?
Yeah, I hear.
Oh, and have you been there?
No, I've never been there.
Yeah, your family's from there? Your mother, father?
No, my ancestors were from there.
Oh, like how back? How far back? Like a long time?
I think three generations back.
Three generations? You guys have been here that long?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
He's full of shit. He's full of shit.
How come you still have accent?
Yeah.
How come you still have accent? Why?
How come you still have a dirty accent?
I don't know.
Do you play golf?
Sorry? Golf? No.
No? What do you like? You like disco dancing?
Yeah, we like disco dancing.
Oh, nice, nice.
Do you watch the Bollywood movie?
Yeah, sure.
Okay. Lots of dancing.
Yeah, lots of dancing, yeah.
It's fun, too, right? Like, they get up and the woman shows her breasts.
Hi, would you like to make an order?
Go ahead, sir.
One bhenchod?
Sorry?
One bhenchod?
No, you bhenchod madarchod.
No, you bhenchod madarchod, motherfucker.
No, you mother stupid bastard, bastard guy.
Sorry, what do you like to order, sir?
Yeah, okay.
All right, well, that didn't work well.
Do you have chicken tikka masala?
Do you have chicken tikka masala?
Chicken tikka masala?
Hey, you know, that's not even an Indian dish.
It's from Scotland.
Do you know what is a Scotland?
No.
Okay, it's a country in Europe.
Nobody do that.
What's the order, sir?
Do you know Mel Gibson?
He's from Scotland.
One Chicken Tikka Masala
Spicy
No, no fries
Can I have a naan with it?
Yeah, sure
Okay, one mother
One paneer made from mother's milk
Paneer
Yeah, from the milk from your mother
Hello
Yeah, hi, I'd like to make an order
Yeah, one chicken tikka masala
Sala
Yeah
And mother paneer
Yeah
One mother paneer
Yeah
Citrus alright or naan
Yeah
One naan
Naan
Okay
One madarchod
Hello
One madarchod
Excuse me sir
No no I'm not serious I'm gonna let you go alright you've been a fun guy alright I wanna
kiss you I'll see you later alright bye
Are you going to
No I don't like Indian people I don't like Indian food I'm just calling like that alright
I'll see you
Okay thank you bye
I'm just kidding they're good people they're great
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Indian toilet in the floor
Oh hold on
Hello
Hello
Yes
Emperor of India?
Yes it is
Okay alright are you people clean?
Of course we are clean what's up
Well because a lot of Indian people dirty you know I wanted to make sure
We've been here for 18 years boss
Okay still we can be dirty for 18 years
Do you use the toilet
If I don't eat I don't serve that's my rule
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
Carlito Laugh Track
This is from Scotland, it's not from India?
Chicken tikka masala was invented in Scotland, not India.
Did you know that?
Stupid. You're stupid.
Because you say Indian food and it's Scottish food.
You're stupid.
No, no. It's not.
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank
If we're talking Indian, we're talking filth.
Well, we understand.
The way you're telling me is not right.
Okay, what about bhenchod?
You gotta mild up.
You gotta talk on rubbish.
You gotta talk on rubbish.
Oh, man.
Curry roots.
Fuck curry.
So the truth about curry is the Indians used to use...
The landscape in India is bereft.
Not a lot of trees there.
Not a lot of wood.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
BEDFRIEND
BABY
MAKE AN ORDER
I'm picking up
Do you have tandoori oven?
Yes, sir
Do you have a tandoori oven?
Are you looking for tandoori?
I'm asking...
Do you have a tandoori oven?
I'm calling every s**t
Stupid asshole bhenchon
Stupid asshole bhenchon
Bob Web
Goddamn
It sounded like...
It sounded like an Indian Ted Web
It was Ted Web
Hello
This is actually where Ted Web lives.
I wonder if that was him.
That's funny
I think this is Carlito.
I'm not going to have to watch her go.
We're gonna have to watch this one.
Okay, here we go.
You know what, dude?
Poor Ted
One more Indian restaurant
Since you got me on this kick
Yeah
I was saying
I would call
There's a couple Indian restaurants
Suburbs and up there
They get really angry
Indians be getting it
Bengali or something
Try it better
Call Nation Madhouse Live
засhoot
kud 我叫咕咯
咳咯
咳咯
咳咯
咳咯
咳咯
咳咯
嘭咯
嘭咯
嘭咯
嘭咯
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Before I take a break, a quick few fast prank calls to Sears.
Anyway, what I was trying to get at before, dude, like Sears fucked up.
And then like Kmart, before they closed the one around here, I went there a few months before they closed that one.
The air conditioning wasn't fucking working.
The tiles were falling off the fucking ceiling.
And they had a ton, a ton of stock out on the floor.
Call Nation Madhouse Live
The AC is not working. We'll just close. There's no focus. They get what they get. They had a good run. Sears and Kmart both. They had a good run. They had a good run at it, but it's over. It's over, motherfuckers. Let's call back that Sears machine. Hold your calls for now. We will reopen the mouth after the break.
I mean, I never worked there, but I was wondering what it'd be like to be a Sears appliance salesman because they had like a certain kind of swagger.
You know, I mean, they're they're like almost like car salesmen or like insurance brokers like they work there at Sears with everyone else.
But it's hard to explain. Like they got their own little section and they only congregated with themselves, you know, and it was to set up like a car car salesman, like a car lot, you know, like, oh, you're next.
This is yours right here. They get your they get their commission.
I got to pee again.
Probably something to do with the fact that I drank an entire two liter of Coke Zero in
like 30 minutes.
I've got a real problem.
Oh, hey, it's you.
How you doing, honey?
Can I help you?
Yeah, I was wondering, do you have Kenmore stuff there still?
Yes, we do.
Okay, what about Whirlpool?
What happened that you guys lost Whirlpool?
With that, I would not know, sir.
I heard it was because they were scared that you guys wouldn't be able to honor your payments.
I honestly don't know, sir.
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Sears Machine
I don't think Sears has like a custom main front desk.
Thank you for calling Sears.
For English, please stay on the line.
Para Español, open el numero dos.
Appliances. Large appliances.
Please tell me which department you'd like.
Large appliances.
That would be large appliances. Is that right?
Yes.
Thanks. And which can we help you with?
Store.
Great. One moment while I transfer your call.
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Laugh Track Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
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Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Closed Captioning by The Closed Captioning Project.
And a lot of like like graffiti of naked men I think it was one guy in
Orlando that kept doing that cuz it was always the same looking thing of a
naked man spread-eagle it looked like the same artwork like the same style you
Madhouse Live
I was trying to say sorry about the show, made an effort, we had some chuckles, it wasn't the best, uh-huh, it's just, that's, Sean Cloud Photography, I'm having a key party and need someone to take pictures of the event, okay, cool, fuckin' dude, 70s, dude, if I was single, and if it was 40 years ago, I would so be going to, like, all these key parties, shit, no, I wouldn't, no one would let me in, they'd look through the fuckin' peephole and be like, there's a fat spic here, it'd be just like high school when I go to parties,
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Why do I always ask why they stay that long?
Because I was expected to go nowhere.
See my stupid shit.
Alright, one last prank.
There may be a high hold with this.
It's the Abduer 360.
Abduer.
Thank you for calling.
I'm just going to go.
The All New Abdoer 360
It combines abtoning and muscle shaping with aerobics
into a fun, easy-to-do movement called abdobics.
Dramatically shed pounds
and get the sensational washboard abs you've always dreamed of.
And it's more fun than you ever dreamed of.
Doer, I'll doer, yeah. Hell yeah.
3-2-8-0-8
Thank you very much again. That's 3-2-8-0-8
Yep, 3-2-8-0-8
For quality purposes, this call may be recorded. And who am I speaking with today?
My name is Cross. I'm ready to doer.
And what did you like? Well, Cross, how are you doing this evening, first of all?
Good. Can you tell me how the app doer works?
Sure. Well, basically, I mean, it's...
Are you okay?
Yeah.
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I know that you caught something that you like When is he gonna stop rhymin' when you like
On December 17th
Wait, wait, wait, wait
Hello, Carlito
Hey
Tom Petty died on December 17th
Oh, come on, you gotta be ready if you're gonna be
Free-fallin'
Nice, nice, free-fallin'
Yeah, but you gotta be ready with the facts if you're gonna try to be like a bitchery guy, just sayin'
Come on, man
You can't be like
Carlito Primo
Hey
Que onda
Hey Colson
And I just want to ask you a serious question
I'm not trying to be getting into your business
I'm not trying to piss you off or be disrespectful at all
There's a point to my question
But what I'd like to know is how serious are you about doing your show dude
Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
I think you're supposed to have gravy on it, buddy.
Not to burst your bubble, but country fried steak does not have any chicken in it.
All right, here we go.
I wish you a kitty cat horse machine Christmas.
What?
I wish you a kitty cat horse machine Christmas.
A gay horse machine?
Yes.
I wish you a horsey kitty cat Merry Christmas.
Madhouse Live
The community is rocking right now on 12 cylinders, so I think we're good for Prank-Sgiving.
Any of the show hosts out there who are not necessarily on PCN but are friends and you're interested to have availability for this Thanksgiving, this Black Friday really, hit me up.
Let me know out there on the Twitters or the Facebooks or whatever.
See if we can get you a spot.
But Lux, he also said, I think Lux is saying he'd like to do a show with his friend Basket.
That little Basket nipples.
Okay.
Carlito, you're trying to call into the show, man, but you ain't answering.
Yeah, you know, it's been a shit show.
Sorry, buddy.
The show's not working. Fix the show.
Yeah, I know. I know, man. I fixed it, though.
Hey, Carlos Cross.
Hey.
Hey, Milkman. This is Mike Hunt.
Hey, Mike.
Just wanted to give you guys a shout-out that you guys are doing a great job.
Uh-oh.
But I think you guys need to update your name. Your name should be carnitas the sweet pork and milkman should be Sancho
Get with the times, bro. Love your show Sancho my donkey friend milkman. Thank you car
I love some carnitas man some pork carnitas the sweet pork though. I don't know what you're getting at with that
Ain't nothing sweet about the way I pork ask your wife. Oh, all right guys. I
Think we're done. I've done enough damage. It is 1030 on the dot
So thanks for tuning in.
Really quick, madhouselive.com is that website where you can go and get all the links.
Be sure to support the show over at patreon.com slash madhouse.
Tune into the show whenever you can using the shoutcast system.
Links are over at madhouselive.com.
You can use your tune in radio app or whatever shoutcast app you have on your mobile device.
Hell, you can even listen to it on your Alexa device.
Just say Alexa play Madhouse Prank Call Radio and you can hear it.
Be sure to join the hijinks chat, hijinks.fun slash pranks, I believe it is, yeah, or discord.gg slash pranks, one of them too, hijinks.fun, hijinks.fun slash pranks.
Join the discord chat there for the major community, the community at large.
Yeah, I mean, nothing else must you do.
If you want to leave a voicemail during the week, you can, 405-396-6884.
I got a caffeine headache now.
I'm gonna fall asleep after drinking a two liter of water week. It's it's been a week guys. I'm out of here
I'll try to do something this weekend and make up for all this. Love you guys
Can't go necessarily
Listen, I gotta check the super chats. I saw a few I got to give those up
Let's see hang over there to the streamable. All right going in backwards order
Mobons SW donated a super chat and said threaten to shave someone's head or I won't donate
Matt Baz Milkman Thomas Trank Prank Call Nation Madhouse Live
HOMER ATE A BURGER TODAY
Call Nation Madhouse Live
Okay, we're good there. All right, we're covered. Now we can go. Now we can go. All right, guys, I'll catch you here soon. If not, by next week, I'll be back. Smile later.

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